Hehe, not your traditional joke but it got me laughing!

 

THE PAP SMEAR

 

This is for a laugh for all those women out there who so look forward to that wonderful time once a year when they get to be "intimate" with their OB-GYN doctor! In Sydney, Australia , one of the radio stations pays ($1000-$5000) for people to tell their most embarrassing stories. This one netted the winner $5000.

"I was due later in the week for an appointment with the gynaecologist. Early one morning I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9.30am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8.45am.

 

The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort.

 

So I rushed upstairs, threw off my dressing gown, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in "that area" to make sure it was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket. Donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

 

I was in the waiting room only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

 

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?" But I didn't respond. When the appointment was over, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.

 

The rest of the day was normal... some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. After school when my six-year-old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mum, where's my washcloth?" I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink. It had all my glitter and sparkles in it."

 

:lol:

post your funny jokes here :D

even non funny jokes?

:lol: im on it im on it

here goes

 

When Noah built his ark, he had two snakes aboard. When the animals were leaving, he said, "Go forth and multiply."

 

The snakes didn't move.

 

"Go forth and multiply!"

 

They still didn't move.

 

Noah was yelling by now. "

 

Go forth and multiply!" "We can't," they answered.

 

Noah was confused. "Why not?"

 

"We're adders."

Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?

 

A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

^is it not because they are both multicoloured?

Two chickens were chatting around the coop. "That big rooster next door made a pass at me!" one exclaimed.

 

"Really? Did you provoke him?"

 

"Well, I egged him on a little."

as for a non funny one...

 

what did 50 cent say when he received a sweater for his birthday?

 

G U knit

A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"

 

The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents."

hohoho :rolleyes: :lol:

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?

If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.

Whats worse than a male chauvinist pig?

 

A woman who wont do what shes told.

Why did the baker rob the bank?

He needed the dough

:snore:

That was cringeworthy Dave.

 

Youve killed my will to laugh.

a man walks into a doctor's office covered in plastic wrap...he tells the doctor...doctor i just don't know what's wrong with me....

 

to which the doctor replies...I can clearly see you're nuts

i dun have any jokes. i am ashamed. :(

awwww, shame, you will find some im sure :P

:(

Q: What do you call A Fat Guy With Nothing Better to do?

A: Captain Charisma

 

Q: What do you call someone who thinks losers are cool?

A: Albie

Q: what do you call a retard with no friends and sweaty pits

A: KingofBurgers,

what do you call my dog?

 

fat sausage with her own genetalia fetish

 

OHHH WHAT BITCHES! yea im just vile. :stunned:

i have a joke. well something fun to look at. this is my dicipline so far at school. anything unusal?

 

Date Period Teacher Description Disposition

8/21/2004 DAILY LETTER SENT

9/6/2004 DAILY LETTER SENT

9/17/2004 TARDINESS FROM SCHOOL/CLASS ON-CAMPUS-DET

10/2/2004 DAILY LETTER SENT -VIOLENCE WARNING

10/10/2004 DRUGS--POSSESSION OUT OF SCHOOL SUSP

 

haha yea. that is from my school site. i almost got expelled for threatening to kill this one chick Sammie like a week before i got busted. funny shizit.

:confused: :confused: