nellie Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Hehe, not your traditional joke but it got me laughing! THE PAP SMEAR This is for a laugh for all those women out there who so look forward to that wonderful time once a year when they get to be "intimate" with their OB-GYN doctor! In Sydney, Australia , one of the radio stations pays ($1000-$5000) for people to tell their most embarrassing stories. This one netted the winner $5000. "I was due later in the week for an appointment with the gynaecologist. Early one morning I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for early that morning at 9.30am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8.45am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare. As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So I rushed upstairs, threw off my dressing gown, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in "that area" to make sure it was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket. Donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment. I was in the waiting room only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?" But I didn't respond. When the appointment was over, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal... some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. After school when my six-year-old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mum, where's my washcloth?" I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink. It had all my glitter and sparkles in it." :lol: post your funny jokes here :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nellie Posted December 29, 2004 Author Share Posted December 29, 2004 even non funny jokes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DavidG Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 :lol: im on it im on it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DavidG Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 here goes When Noah built his ark, he had two snakes aboard. When the animals were leaving, he said, "Go forth and multiply." The snakes didn't move. "Go forth and multiply!" They still didn't move. Noah was yelling by now. " Go forth and multiply!" "We can't," they answered. Noah was confused. "Why not?" "We're adders." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nellie Posted December 30, 2004 Author Share Posted December 30, 2004 Q. What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common? A. The longer you play with them, the harder they get. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeftLeg Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 ^is it not because they are both multicoloured? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DavidG Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Two chickens were chatting around the coop. "That big rooster next door made a pass at me!" one exclaimed. "Really? Did you provoke him?" "Well, I egged him on a little." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oneulove Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 as for a non funny one... what did 50 cent say when he received a sweater for his birthday? G U knit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DavidG Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 A guy went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee, then I'm a wigwam, then I'm a teepee, and then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?" The doctor replied, "It's very simple. You're two tents." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nellie Posted December 30, 2004 Author Share Posted December 30, 2004 hohoho :rolleyes: :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DavidG Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Why does a chicken coop have only two doors? If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reilly Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Whats worse than a male chauvinist pig? A woman who wont do what shes told. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DavidG Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Why did the baker rob the bank? He needed the dough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAFE Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 :snore: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reilly Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 That was cringeworthy Dave. Youve killed my will to laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oneulove Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 a man walks into a doctor's office covered in plastic wrap...he tells the doctor...doctor i just don't know what's wrong with me.... to which the doctor replies...I can clearly see you're nuts Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manders Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 i dun have any jokes. i am ashamed. :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DavidG Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 awwww, shame, you will find some im sure :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAFE Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 :( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I Dislike Clowns Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 Q: What do you call A Fat Guy With Nothing Better to do? A: Captain Charisma Q: What do you call someone who thinks losers are cool? A: Albie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-JaK- Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 Q: what do you call a retard with no friends and sweaty pits A: KingofBurgers, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manders Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 what do you call my dog? fat sausage with her own genetalia fetish OHHH WHAT BITCHES! yea im just vile. :stunned: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manders Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 i have a joke. well something fun to look at. this is my dicipline so far at school. anything unusal? Date Period Teacher Description Disposition 8/21/2004 DAILY LETTER SENT 9/6/2004 DAILY LETTER SENT 9/17/2004 TARDINESS FROM SCHOOL/CLASS ON-CAMPUS-DET 10/2/2004 DAILY LETTER SENT -VIOLENCE WARNING 10/10/2004 DRUGS--POSSESSION OUT OF SCHOOL SUSP haha yea. that is from my school site. i almost got expelled for threatening to kill this one chick Sammie like a week before i got busted. funny shizit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-JaK- Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 :confused: :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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