bart Posted March 24, 2005 Share Posted March 24, 2005 I howled when I got this ! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: A few well placed one night stands gain credibility, and do not leave him tarnished. He never feels compelled to stop a friend from getting laid. His arse is never a factor in a job interview. People never glance at his chest when talking to him He can "do" his nails with his teeth The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. He gets extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. He is unable to see wrinkles in his clothes. Wedding plans take care of themselves. His last name stays put. Car mechanics tell him the truth. Hairdressers don't rob him blind. He doesn't give a damn if someone doesn't notice his new haircut. He can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift. He doesn't have to shave below his neck. Wrinkles add character. Everything on his face stays its original colour. He is not expected to know the names of more than five colours. His orgasms are real. Always. His pals can be trusted never to trap him with "So, notice anything different?" If another bloke shows up at a party in the same outfit, they will become lifelong friends. If someone forgets to invite him to something, he or she can still be his friend. Porn films are designed with him in mind. He can go to a public toilet without a support group. He can leave a hotel bed unmade. He doesn't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments. He doesn't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. His belly usually hides his big hips. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle his feet. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one colour, all seasons. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. He can appreciate sport. He can kill his own food. He can sit in silence watching TV for an hour with a pal without ever thinking, "He must be mad at me." He doesn't have to clean his flat if the electricity meter reader is coming. He has freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache. One mood, ALL the time. The garage is all theirs. He can open all his own jars. He can throw a ball more than 5 feet. He doesn't mooch off other's desserts. Christmas shopping can be accomplished on December 24th, in 45 minutes. Same job .... . more pay. The world is his urinal. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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