[Warning -- long post]

 

What are some times where you look back on happenings and realize -- too late --that you could've made things better? They say it's "better to regret something you've done than to regret something you didn't do." I half agree with that.

 

I guess today was one of those incidences.

 

I was walking out to the side of the school a few minutes after the dismissal bell rang. The city bus just pulled up and I saw some guys goofing around by it. Or at least I thought they were goofing around. A few seconds later, students waiting by the bus realize that five of those guys were mugging another kid, a defenseless kid.

 

I'm thinking the kid was in special ed... he was totally scared and blank on what to do.

 

They shoved him against the bus and the fence. He fell down a couple of times. By then I was right in front of it as it was happening, and I recognized one of the muggers, someone who was in my class a few years ago.

 

All I did was make eye contact with the loser and give him a "how could you?" look.

 

I stood there as other students (mainly girls) told them, "Y'all need to stop."

 

I walked slowly around to where I was headed, and thankfully the attack was over... but the poor kid got his wallet stolen. No physical damage or anything... He got up and students around him were saying "that was messed up" and stuff. He looked totally lost and scared.

 

I continued on my way to my usual waiting spot.

 

As I was walking, I couldn't get over how f*king disgusting the whole thing was. How scarred will that kid be? No one helped him physically, everyone just stood there and tried to convince the muggers to stop... nothing else.

 

But I didn't even do that.

 

And it's been bothering me all day. Did I let it happen? I really don't think any of them were armed or anything, they just saw an easy target. I don't think any of them would've hit a girl, either... so what would've happened if I'd have at least tried to jump in and defend him? Or even shouted at the guys?

 

I know this is a lame comparison, but it's like on Spider-Man 2 where Peter just walks by the guy who's getting beat up. Like he knows he should've done something, but he didn't.

 

I'm just disgusted. At the muggers, at the other kids who stood there, at and me for not doing anything more.

 

Somtimes it's like I draw the line too close to my own feet, you know? Stuff like this has happened before, and I've done the same damn thing in reaction to it and it bothers me.

 

I hope I'm not whining... well, I guess it's too late to say that anyway... but I had to get it off my chest somewhere.

 

Do we all make mistakes like this or am I just a more worried/selfish case...?

Woah, that's a pretty scary story. I think a lot of people in your situation would've done nothing, its human nature, don't go thinking its your fault or anything, because it is definitely not.

 

Maybe if you still feel bad try to help the kid tomorrow, maybe try to get his wallet back or something, just comfort him. You don't have to, just if you feel you have to.

Yeah... it just gets me because it probably couldn't have gotten any worse if I'd have interfered. :(

 

I haven't seen him since yesterday... I just hope he at least told somebody. Haven't seen the muggers, either.

:(

 

on topic. my life is full of this ones coulda-shoulda-woulda and frankly it's killing me big time and it the thing that disapoints me in the end.but i can't help myself.

We just wrote a paper in my English class on the "what-ifs" in our lives. In the end of mine I wrote that worrying about what-ifs are pointless, a waste of time, and how we should focus on how we can improve ourselves because what happened did happen.

 

But here I am, here we are... GRRR!!

 

I suppose chances always come up to do something about it, to prove ourselves. I just know that whenever mine come, I almost never take them.

 

Sucky.

yeah..it's usually that kind of thing--in theory works but when it comes to practise..kinda harder..

i think everyone feels like this sometimes.

 

stuff like this always happens to me. i always make regrets, and i can't help it, and i just keep thinking back to what i SHOULD have done, but didnt. and then i think to myself, well, what would have happened if i did this or that instead? would that've been better? what would they say? think? i shouldn't dwell on these things but i do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

but if you never try, you never know