^Qwerty sometimes you are so...ugh

 

Grace!! I think I know exactly how you feel!! Like you know you're not fat, you know you're a lot prettier than a bunch of other people, but then you see these really skinny people and you just get so... jealous! And then even though you know you don't really need to lose weight you want to but it's hard because there's not much to lose and ...arrggh.. It's hard to explain as you probably know.

i totally understand what you're saying. family member can affect your self confidence a lot if they constantly tell you certain things. you dont even realise it at first but it often does affect your behaviour a lot. i've been told those things for years.but it somehow changed when i got older and realised that other people see it differently. i know it would be good if i lost a little weight but nobody's perfect and its ridiculous because the person who is telling me that stuff is actually overweight. i'm just trying to ignore it. try to speak with your family if you get on... if you think theres a point of talking do it. maybe they just dont realise how you feel about their jokes. however my family's 'special'. i know this family member isnt joking at all. but i know that i could do anything in the world and he wouldnt appreciate it, so it just doesnt affect me no more!

that's why i changed my eating behaviours. i do not eat on regular bases anymore and i've tried to throw up after having eaten something (worked only a couple of times). i just wanna be really skinny so that they'd stop teasing me. (i'm not willing to become anorexic btw)

i'm not overreacting. now that i write down what they say, it does not seem so harsh anymore, but in those certain moments it is.

ahhh...shit.

it's so retarted.

i shouldn't pay attention to what they say, but it makes it so much harder when they're around.

 

you shouldn't feel bad. If you want I can show you my passport. I look like a real terrorist. It's the worst picture of my life. I look like a convict surrounded by flowers and bunnies and barny. And don't make yourself throw up. You'll get throat cancer and that's the worst way to die. Or you'll talk like you've been smoking all your life.

 

I'm sorry about your family. I don't know what to say about people that are just that cruel.

i'm not fat or anything (even if... where's the problem?).

they're always like:"you sure you wanna take THAT size?!" and then they have the meanest smile on their faces...

they always find something about me to pick on.

it's the way i walk, it's the clothes i wear...

i just can't stand it anymore.

that's why i changed my eating behaviours. i do not eat on regular bases anymore and i've tried to throw up after having eaten something (worked only a couple of times). i just wanna be really skinny so that they'd stop teasing me. (i'm not willing to become anorexic btw)

 

Grace! Stop throwing up, that is probably the most disturbing confession I've read on this forum. It's a terrible way to lose weight, but that aside the mental anguish it can cause. There are so many better ways to lose weight, and you say you're doing it for yourself now [does that mean continuing throwing up? - if it does] it's even worse since you're initial and correct thinking of "i'm not fat" is slowly deteriorating into thinking you have to do it. Please stop! It seriously irritates the hell out of me that girls, even people in general, are made to feel like crap by others when in most cases, there is absolutely nothing wrong with them :\

 

So anyway, please stop and look in the mirror and seeeeeeeee you're a wonderful person :D who shouldn't have to bend over backwards [or forwards in this case] to make others happy.

but it is so hard to look in the mirror and see one's own face.

and then you start comparing yourself to others... thinking... :"well, perhaps that is why i do not have a boyfriend." it sucks. i know.

it's not just the weight. it's everything.

i don't feel like i belong here.

when i see some attractive guy i always think:"oh ... he prolly wants someone as tall as him and someone who's skinnier. some chick that's blonde and not someone that looks like me."

i never thought i'd let those feelings make me do such things, but i wouldn't blame society for that or the media or celebrities.

it's just things that cross your way every day.

I think if you had made a poll asking girls (and guys, but not so much) if they have family who "tease" (BOTHER THEM IN ANYWAY) them about their weight/looks/even personality for god's sake! ....you would get a big

 

hell-yes-it -happens-to-me-too _______________________100% as results

 

 

I like to dig in my mind to find out why before giving advice. You got me thinking and Jules mentioned a bit about some kind of family chemistry that makes members tease/bother you about yourself.

 

I mean, it's kind of like that thing they used to tell classmates...if you don't have anything nice to say..don't say anything at all. OR....they used to tell us...don't say mean things even though you are " just joking"...you never know who might take it how (the wrong way) and get offended.

 

 

Sometimes, a family picks a scapegoat to pick on and then they just roll from there. Like when I have done stupid things...my family gave me such a hard time teasing and being jerks that eventually, it wasn't funny anymore...it was damn right hurtful.

 

Family members develop such a role living together..I mean, besides husband and wives...families wake up together, they see you puffy eyed and drowsy..basically at your worst moments and they just feel so blah with one another sometimes because they are with you 80 percent of the time that sometimes they don't even consider one another feelings.

 

And that is where things get messed.

 

 

I KNOW it's hard to tell them "shutthefuckup idiots!" because I want to scream that to them when they take the "teasing" (or whatever that meanness is called)

 

But hey, you want a solution: TELL THEM .....in a FIRM no bullshit way that if they keep teasing you or saying things that just aren't cool to your emotions ...you will knife them down.

 

I took a silent vow for one whole month from all members in my family (except my sister...she was cool) after I told them if one more person said anything about my school grades anymore...I wouldn't talk to them ever again.

 

One month went by after someone said something about my grades. They got the picture. You don't even know how hard it was at times in that month, there were things I needed to say...but I HAD to do it or go crazy because of their hardheadedness.

 

 

I think in the end.. it's all physics... you want a reaction...you have to get into action or just end up an idiot that sits there and does nothing.

 

Do you want that?

--

 

Sorry, eh I wrote something but it was retarded so I deleted it. I really can't think staight today

ooyour status bar went up 20 posts ago anna

Oh but I do have something to add!

 

 

Well my mom... is gorgeous. She is extremely thin, has very nice hair, has the coolest clothes, is quite tall, and generally... looks like a model. Besides that, everybody she meets loves her, she's so wonderful to be around. So ... when I see her trying on clothes or about to go out with my dad or whatever, I basically feel like a piece of crap. I'm lucky though because nobody, and that's nobody in my family ever criticizes me, even though...

 

 

 

 

...another pointless post. >.<

ooyour status bar went up 20 posts ago anna

 

 

What?

OOOHH!! I get it. See I told you I'm slow today!! :laugh3:

try again ... you usually tend to have some down to earth advice anna

:blush: I guess I'm quite... wise (:confused: ) for my age.

 

 

You always have great advice! You've helped a lot of people on the board.

ive never gaven good advice, as long as i can remember on this board

I hope so. Sometimes people don't take Internet given advice on this thread. I mean, they read it, but don't follow it even to save existance. I will always try something once, if it's not something hurtful, why not?

What I said wasn't exactly advice anyway... but if I was to give Grace advice... it would be not to become anorexic or bulimic, first of all. Do not make yourself throw up and do not starve yourself!! If you don't want to take my word for it go Google Ana Carolina Reston! If you want to lose weight, do it, but do it for yourself. I know that's kind of cheesy... and I do know how you feel, pressured by other people to change... Remember, you don't want to waste your life thinking about how you look and worrying about pointless things! We have one life to live and we should all live it to the fullest- be happy. If you think you need to lose weight... do so, if it'll make you happier about yourself. Be confident about yourself, realize how great of a person you are, be happy. Otherwise... what's the point of life?

ive never gaven good advice, as long as i can remember on this board

 

that's really great because gaven ain't even a wordD ddummMMYy

My posts are getting increasingly retarded.

What I said wasn't exactly advice anyway... but if I was to give Grace advice... it would be not to become anorexic or bulimic, first of all. Do not make yourself throw up and do not starve yourself!! If you don't want to take my word for it go Google Ana Carolina Reston! If you want to lose weight, do it, but do it for yourself. I know that's kind of cheesy... and I do know how you feel, pressured by other people to change... Remember, you don't want to waste your life thinking about how you look and worrying about pointless things! We have one life to live and we should all live it to the fullest- be happy. If you think you need to lose weight... do so, if it'll make you happier about yourself. Be happy. Otherwise... what's the point of life?

 

true.

 

 

If you don't make changes in your life based in what YOU want to do, you will resent those that push you to make changes. Unless they are for your own good. But puking up food to lose a pound is NOT a good choice...at all. It's dangerous, disgusting and all those thing I don't have to mention because I am sure you have had your ears talked off about how bad it is to have an eating disorder.

 

Basically, it all winds down to having some courage to make the best choice.

An eating disorder is really not something you want to develop.. I've seen people my age going around "OMG how can I become anorexic??" And I tell them, anorexia isn't something you want to get, that's like saying "How can I get breast cancer?"

thats mean

Ahem!! Who exactly are you talking about here!!?

dont do it knight!!

he's got tanks!

 

 

good advice!!!!!!

An eating disorder is really not something you want to develop.. I've seen people my age going around "OMG how can I become anorexic??" And I tell them, anorexia isn't something you want to get, that's like saying "How can I get breast cancer?"

 

It's not mean, it's actually....it's a sadly well done analogy.

 

 

The things that happen to your body when you become anorexic:

 

* Hair loss

* Lowered resistance to illness

* Hypersensitivity to heat

* Less need for sleep than normal eaters

* Severe dehydration, which can result in kidney failure

* Fatigue and overall weakness

* Difficulty in concentrating on anything else except weight

* Isolation from family and friends

* Emotional regression to a child-like state

* Feelings of guilt

* Dependence upon alcohol or drugs to handle the negative outlook

 

effects of bulimia

 

* an imbalance in electrolytes;

* inflammation of the esophagus, salivary glands, and jaw;

* problems with teeth, gums, and lips;

* chronic irregular bowel movements due to abusive laxatives;

* feelings of shame and guilt;

* depression;

* low self-esteem; and

* damaged family and social relationships.

 

 

 

Some effects of breast cancer

 

* Delirium

* Fatigue

* Nausea

* Vomiting

* Sleep disorders

 

and that is not included in effects of chemotherapy..many are similar to effects of anorexia and bulimia

 

 

* hair loss

* weakened internal/organ systems

 

and so much other things.

 

 

It really is like saying: how can I get breast cancer?

 

because when you push yourself to have an eating disorder...you get the same treatment of your body as involuntary diseases and sicknesses

that wasnt what i was talking about