today was on of those days you realise that you shouldn't have gotten up in the first place.

this is not one of those "my-life's-against-me-and-i'm-about-to-shoot-myself" threads, but i needed to write my feelings down somewhere.

so... first of all... you gotta know that i'm currently in a very weird situation. i just feel so low. not depressed. i'm way too privileged to feel depressed, but i don't feel motivated to do anything... .

well, i went to the photographer's today with my sister and my mum to take pics for my ID card and my passport.

so i sat on that chair and blah blah blah...when we went back to the shop (after having gone around the other shops) my sister saw the pics and started saying things like:"oh, well... it did come out kinda descent..." and "he must've photoshopped your picture because i can't see and pimples on your face"

like wtf?

they do that all the time.

they also go on about my weight.

i'm not fat or anything (even if... where's the problem?).

they're always like:"you sure you wanna take THAT size?!" and then they have the meanest smile on their faces...

they always find something about me to pick on.

it's the way i walk, it's the clothes i wear...

i just can't stand it anymore.

that's why i changed my eating behaviours. i do not eat on regular bases anymore and i've tried to throw up after having eaten something (worked only a couple of times). i just wanna be really skinny so that they'd stop teasing me. (i'm not willing to become anorexic btw)

i'm not overreacting. now that i write down what they say, it does not seem so harsh anymore, but in those certain moments it is.

ahhh...shit.

it's so retarted.

i shouldn't pay attention to what they say, but it makes it so much harder when they're around.

I'm not a fan of talking in such threads....but...

 

I think the best idea is tell just tell your family to stop it - if it's making you feel uncomfortable and also making you attempt to throw up.

 

You already know the answer when you said - i'm not fat or anything (even if... where's the problem?)

 

Just talk to them because it's far more useful than talking about it on here, trust me.

i don't have the nerves to talk to them.

it's kinda strange.

they'd end up saying something like:"hey, we're just kidding..."

plus, i would never tell them about the little eating disorder.

Well, if you don't confront them or at least one member of your family, they will continue to say such things won't they?

 

You wan't them to stop?

 

If it indeed is that bad then you have to say something. And if they say they are 'just kidding' - then they probably really are BUT....

 

You say that you would really like it if they did not make the remakes because for whatever reason it is having an effect on you and they need to know that.

I think that's typical "family-members-behaviour".....I know that....if my sister says it I really don't give a fuck because she isn't any better.....if my mum says these things I think about it but in the end I am the one who decieds how I feel about my own body....

 

I can understand that it hurts you.....my advice would be now that you shouldn't give damn....but you already said this...

 

maybe it has somethnig to do with age...maybe in some years you won't be that bothered by this behaviour.-...I'm not sure...

I kinda know how you feel grace.

I love with my grandmother and she picks on me aaaaall the time!!

specially about my weight.

I know i'm a bit overweight, and i'm trying to loose weight, but i just hate when she points out "Oh, you look so fat", "you should be ashamed of being so fat" and so on...

I never went to the extreme of throwing up after eating, although i've felt like doing it sometimes just to see if it would work that way.

 

I'm not sure what the solution to your problem would be actually, but as you said it yourself, you are not fat, so if you want to show them you are trying to loose weight just to shut them up, maybe you could try a good diet, maybe go to a doctor so that he could give you one (or tell your family that you dont actually need one), but i think what you're doing now may seem harmless but it could develop into something more serious...

i'll keep up with what i'm doing a bit longer.

there's just so much pressure.

it's not only my family..

but looking-good is so shallow and superficial, still ... dunno.

when i look in the mirror is just see that chubby-faced chick ...

i'm going to attend another school this summer and all i know is that the pressure to look good is very high. lol. why does that sound so stupid?

it's not that they beat you up in case you do not wear designer clothes...

everyone's just looking good. and the bad thing is that they do have a good character either.

that's why i just wanna change so much.

i'm not the tallest of girls so i basically wear heels every day (my feet already hurt like shit), but then again i think..:"well, yeah.. first of all it make me look slimmer and second of all it makes me look taller."

i know that the looks are not important at all, but i feel so uncomfortable among all those perfect people (i know they are not perfect)

 

then again... i look at pics of (ATTENTION!! CLICHÉ!!!) Cheryl Cole and she even looks perfect when she buys fish and chips (she really does..)

 

but hey, thanks for your posts!

makes me think more and more... i know it's not a solution to go to the toilet after dinner >_<

It annoys me to think that many, many girls all over the world feel this way.

 

We all know what has caused such problems to escalate.

It annoys me to think that many, many girls all over the world feel this way.

 

We all know what has caused such problems to escalate.

 

absolutely right!This is what I hate about this society.....I felt exactly the same like Grace did when I was her age.......there was nothing else I thought about except for my looks.....and it drove me crazy...I didn't even go out anymore because I didn't look like a model....I felt so bad in my own body...I just couldn't accept it....that's why I never had a boyfriend....because it went that far that I thought "Which boy wants to have an ugly person like me as a girlfriend"......well I know those are typical problems when you are a person of that age.....and I'm glad this time is over....

when i look in the mirror is just see that chubby-faced chick ...

 

keep looking at the mirror.. look at all of your body from bottom to top.. smile, laugh and make your face as if you're crying.. then see how perfect face and body you have :-) when you forget/ignore parts of your body you don't like, all others are going to forget/ignore them too.. at least my experiences shows that

It annoys me to think that many, many girls all over the world feel this way.

 

We all know what has caused such problems to escalate.

 

Yes - the likes of Sticktoria Beckham.............................. ;)

....because it went that far that I thought "Which boy wants to have an ugly person like me as a girlfriend"....

that's exactly what i'm thinking.

i know it's not good.

not good for my self-esteem.

i just don't know what to do against those thoughts, those feelings.

 

that's exactly what i'm thinking.

i know it's not good.

not good for my self-esteem.

i just don't know what to do against those thoughts, those feelings.

 

oola, that's me

that's exactly what i'm thinking.

i know it's not good.

not good for my self-esteem.

i just don't know what to do against those thoughts, those feelings.

 

I can totally understand you.....I often thought about this,.....and about what I could do against it.....but I never found a solution....I just kept thinking like that.....what I can tell you from my experience is that it will change one day (maybe when you are 18.....)...it just changed......and this changed a lot in my life.....I feel much happier nowadays....I just haven't found the right guy yet....hahaha...maybe you could talk about it with your friends.....I never did that....but one day I felt like doing it...so they helped my to get rid of these feelings...;)

naaah, i'm so not gonna talk to my friends about that.

they shouldn't know that i'm such a mental and weak person.

oh I forgot:

 

 

what I can tell you is that it is a long process to get rid of this kind of thinking....it's not that you wake up one day and everything has changed....I see this at myself....it's getting better slowly..everyday....from experiences and conversations with my friends.....I still have a rest of these thoughts in my mind....but I used to feel "depressed" about it.....I used to cry because of it....at least once a week....now I can't even tell you when the last time I felt like that was...I do not cry anymore because of it....because I don't feel it anymore...

naaah, i'm so not gonna talk to my friends about that.

they shouldn't know that i'm such a mental and weak person.

 

 

hehe I can exactly see myself in your kind of thinking....I also thought "Oh no I'm not going to talk to them about that......that'd be so embarrassing....".....maybe you should just wait for the right moment.....this could sound hard...but I know I didn't plan to talk about it with my friends....it just happened...and it helped me...because I realized that other people see me with totally different eyes than I do...

You have to learn to be comfortable in your own skin, block out all the external negatives and ignore anyone who makes derogatory comments about the way you look.

That's why it's good to take the rise out of celebrities, as it stops you from taking them and their "airbrushed" image too seriously.;)

I never went to the extreme of throwing up after eating, although i've felt like doing it sometimes just to see if it would work that way.

It doesn't.

 

naaah, i'm so not gonna talk to my friends about that.

I did talk to some and it didn't make me feel better at all.

It doesn't.

 

 

I did talk to some and it didn't make me feel better at all.

 

That's because they all have their own agendas.;)

When I was a teenager (I'm already sounding like a grandma haha:laugh3:) I didn't had the perfect body either. I wasn't overweight in fact I was very thin and short. Most of the other girls were either taller than me, bigger boobs than mine, had better bodies than me even if I was thin. What I'm trying to say that if you are thin they tell you to eat and if you are overweight they tell to stop eating there's no way of pleasing anyone.

 

I've also been told by my family that they don't like what I wear, how I dress, how I do my nails how this and that.. and blablabla since forever. I just say "You are just old, that's all.. I'm not gonna go change so whatever.." and they would even bring me clothes to wear.. because they never liked how I dress.

i do not eat on regular bases anymore and i've tried to throw up after having eaten something (worked only a couple of times)

 

this part scared me a bit.

 

I honestly think you shouldn't do that. even doing it a couple times might lead to something more serious and you won't be able to stop. you might not even notice that you're developing a serious problem! From the couple pics i've seen of you, you are a pretty girl...you shouldn't have to worry about being supermodel pretty.. those people are most likely unhappy and living a lie (maybe not all, but most, and i bet they all have pressures to look the way they do)

 

and there must be one friend you can talk to about this or some other relative.. and posting your situation here is a good step...sometime's writing out your feelings helps to sort things in order..

so how is it going Grace?:confused:

phhhh...nothing's changed.

well, all in know is that i need to lose weight.

fuck that. i need to pull this thing through now. :nice:

 

i wanna do it for myself. just to make me feel better and more confident.

this thread doesnt have any of my spam

 

:mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: :mickey: