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The Chuck Norris Thread

Pseudonym
in The Lounge

Featured Replies

A thread dedicated to the original bringer of the pain!

 

chuck_norris_toilet_paper2.PNG

he wasn't really a "bringer" of Pain... he was a one man roundhouse kick to the face.

 

oh, and he has an extra fist in his chin ;) (if you watch family guy)

chuck norris doesnt do pushups. he just pushes the earth away from him.

He's all old and wrinkled now.

  • Author

There is no "ctrl" button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

 

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

 

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

 

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

 

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

 

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table as he only recognizes the element of surprise.

 

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

 

There is no "ctrl" button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

 

Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

 

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

 

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

 

Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

 

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table as he only recognizes the element of surprise.

 

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

 

 

LMFAO! LKNDOSFJBNSONKL :lol:

  • Author

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

 

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

 

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

 

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

 

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

 

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

 

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

 

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.

 

A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.

Oh no...the unthinkable has occurred.

 

IT'S A CHUCK NORRIS THREAD!!!!

 

*runs away*

 

 

 

:P

here are a shit load! I have to warn you, some of these made me cry with laughter just now :lol: enjoy

----

 

 

Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in the face.

 

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

 

The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

 

In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck killed that man.

 

Chuck Norris doesn't own a stove, toaster oven or a microwave... Because revenge is a dish that's best served cold.

 

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds to what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

 

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

 

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

 

Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.

 

There are no disabled people in the world. Only those people who have felt the wrath of Chuck Norris.

 

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

 

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

 

Crop circles are Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.

 

Chuck Norris has two speeds: walk and kill.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

hahaha, Chuck Norris, I'm from England, I only know him from being on Family Guy nd simpsons nd stuff, lol, he sounds like a, um....nice guy!

Chuck-Norris-scares-the-Boogeyman.jpg

 

hahahahaha!

:laugh3::laugh3: hilarious thread !!!!!

 

you know my dad is a great fan of Walker Texas Ranger :disappointed: because of him ive almost seen every episod of that show..

hahaha, Chuck Norris, I'm from England, I only know him from being on Family Guy nd simpsons nd stuff, lol, he sounds like a, um....nice guy!

 

what are you on about! :stunned: "Walker: Texas Ranger" used to be on Sky One EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. after the simpsons. GREAT STUFF :laugh3:

 

Maybe you're too young :thinking: though I'm only 20! lol

what are you on about! :stunned: "Walker: Texas Ranger" used to be on Sky One EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. after the simpsons. GREAT STUFF :laugh3:

 

Maybe you're too young :thinking: though I'm only 20! lol

 

I'm 14....I never saw It though, and I have been watching Sky One for years, probably on when my bedtime was 9 or summit LMAO LMAO LMAO

 

 

lol, how many years ago, then?

:laugh3::laugh3:

OMG, I just went to town yesterday and I saw a Chuck Norris poster!, with all these things on, lol, i really want it!

 

:laugh3:

  • 9 months later...

YEAH CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!

 

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris is overrated :rolleyes:

i dont even know who he is :P

i just saw some fact poster things at walmart. interesting stuff.

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