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Okay, this isn't exactly an appreciation thread I have made myself BUT it is a Thread for me to tell you about stuff I am doing, stuff I am making, including Videos, My Fanfics, my adventures, cool stuff like website links, video links, interesting facts, fun games, stuff i have heard, FUN.... EVERYTHING!


This is my thread. This is Simon's Thread. THIS. IS. COLDPLAYING.




FULL NAME: Simon Ashley Neal

AGE: 14

BIRTHDAY: 26th January

FAVE BAND: Coldplay

FAVE TV SHOW: Corrie (:p)

FAVE FOOD: Spag Bol! :D

SIBLINGS: 2 Brothers, One Twin brother, Charles and an older brother, James who is 21, I also have a Half Brother, Anthony, who is like 40 odd (yes, 40 ODD!), And I don't really know him...

HEIGHT: Pretty small, I'm small for my age!

INSTRUMENTS I PLAY: Keyboard and Clarinet (And Sing!)

FAVE SPORT: Football

FAVE TEAM: Leeds United


BORN IN: Leeds

PARENTS: Tony, 64 and Liz, 55 (Yeah, i've got old parents! :P)





At the Martin household, Gwyneth is making Veggie Drumsticks...


Chris: You know love, I told Ricky today that your making drumsticks, I love your drumsticks you know!


Gwyneth: Well arn't you nice, I'll just Fix You with some drumsticks at the Speed of Sound while I Talk to you! hahaha, arn't I funny?


Chris: Hilarious darling, just give me them!


Gwyneth puts four drumsticks on Chris's plate


Gwyneth: There you go, APPLE!


Apple walks in


Apple: Yes mummy


Gwyneth: Oh, I didn't meen you darling, I was asking you dad if he wanted an Apple...


Apple: If he wanted a me?


Gwyneth: No, to eat


Apple: But daddy wouldn't eat me, or would he?...Is this why he didn't write a song about me but wrote one about Moses!


Gwyneth: Just eat darling...MOSES!


Chris: I don't feel like singing now...


Gwyneth: No, I was meaning our son, I am calling him in for dinner!


Chris: Dinner? but I havn't written a song called Dinner!


Gwyneth: Just eat you drumsticks!


Moses walks in


Gwyneth: Well arn't you getting a big boy, ooh, is that a new tooth you have? Look Chris he has a new tooth


Chris walks over to Moses


Chris: That's amazing!


Gwyneth: Yep, he's got your teeth!


Chris: And he's got your good looks!


Chris and Gwyneth kiss, Apple stares at them in anger, and walks out, Chris and Gwyneth do not notice


Gwyneth: You need to improve your kissing darling!


Chris: What if I wrote a song about it, would that work?


Gwyneth: It could do, It could do


Meanwhile, outside the Martin household, Apple is walking down the street, alone, she starts talking to herself


Apple: Mummy and Daddy only care about Moses, Mummy's a rubbish actress and I don't even like daddy's songs!


A Cloaked figure aproaches Apple


Cloaked Figure: Hello, little girl


Apple: Hello, I am Apple, who are you?


Cloaked Figure: Apple?


Apple: Yes


Cloaked Figure: O..........K, Well, do you want to have some sweets?


Apple: Only if they don't have meat in!


Cloaked Figure: What are you gay?


Apple: No, I am a vegetarian


Cloaked Figure: Well yeah, sure, come in my car


Apple: OK


Apple jumps into the Cloaked Figure's car, The Cloaked Figure closes the car door behind her, jumps in the front and drives off


At The Martin Household, Chris, Gwyneth and Moses are eating their drumsticks oblivious to the fact that their daughter has gone!

Chris: Hey Gwyn, pass me the tomato sauce!


Gwyneth: In America we call it Ketchup!


Chris: I Don't care, just give it to me!


Moses: Mummy am I American


At The Same Time, Gwyneth says: Yes and Chris says: No


Gwyneth: Yes she is, he is my son!


Chris: No she isn't, he is my son!


Moses: What am I then Daddy?


Chris: British


Gwyneth: No, sweetie, you are American


Chris: Can't he be both?


Gwyneth: I Don't swing that way!, Anyway, where is Apple?


Chris: Probabbly in her room, anyway, I've got a rehearsal with the guys, I'll catch you guys later!


Gwyneth: Goodbye my British hunk!


Chris: Bye!


Chris walks out the door


Moses: Mummy, what's a hunk?


Meanwhile the cloaked figure has taken Apple to a warehouse, on the front there is a sign which says 'The Bakery', The pair walk in, holding hands


Apple: Hey this is where my daddy works!


Cloaked Figure: No he doesn't!


Apple: Yes he does, he works at this place, it's called 'The Bakery'


Cloaked Figure: Ugh, this isn't 'The Bakery' it is, uh, 'The Butcher's'


Apple: Oh, Okay


(Muttering to himself) Cloaked Figure: Kids are so easy to trick, especially kids named after fruit!


Meanwhile Chris has arrived at Jonny's house to pick up Jonny, Will & Guy


Jonny: Hey Chris!


Chris: Hey Jonny!


Jonny: Hey Chris!


Chris: Is This going anywhere?


Jonny: Hey Chris!


Guy: He's got a new hearing aid!


Jonny: Hey Guy!


Guy: Just ignore him


Chris: I normally do anywhere, so, guys, do you wanna go out clubbing?


Will: Yeah, sure


Chris: Woah calm down Will...


Will: All I was saying is that I would love to come!


Chris (To Guy): I thought I told you to lock him up


Guy: Sorry Chris


Chris: Alright so let's go!




Back at The Martin household...


Gwyneth: Oh my god Moses, I can't believe that Ruth left The X Factor it should of been Eoigan!


Moses: Eoigan?


Gwyneth: Yeah!


Moses: Can I be called that?


Gwyneth: Okay, that is you new middle name!


Moses: Yeah!


Gwyneth: If you get a new name, Apple will need one aswell, hey, where is she?


Gwyneth runs up 12 flights of stairs upto Apple's room.


Gwyneth: APPLE! APPLE?....Where are you?


While Gwyneth is threating Chris, Jonny, Guy and Will are clubbing!


Will: This is fun isn't it guys?


Guy: Shut up Will!


Chris: WAIT! STOP!, My Gwynnie sense is tingling, I have to go!


Chris rushes out of the club, and jumps in his car and sets off towards his house!


At the club, Guy Will and Jonny are left without Chris!


Guy: I wonder where Chris is...


Will: Oh, now you talk to me!


Guy: Quiet You!


Jonny: Hey you guy's, shut up!, we need to help Chris!


A Man approaches Jonny


Ross: Hello, I love a man who isn't afraid to get angry, I'm called Ross!


Jonny: Oh hello Ross!


Ross: So, do you want to get a drink, darling?


Guy (to Jonny): Hey Jonny, you do know that he is gay!


Will (to Jonny): And you do know that we have been in a gay bar for 30 minutes!


Jonny: I know!, Yes Ross, I would love a drink


Jonny follows Ross up to the bar...Meanwhile at 'The Butcher's', The Cloaked Figure is talking to Apple


Apple: So, what is your name?


Cloaked Figure: I don't have a name...


Apple: Everyone has a name!


Cloaked Figure: You call yours a name?


Apple: Ohhh...what is your favourite animal?


Cloaked Figure: A Black Panther


Apple: What's one of those?


Cloaked Figure: Uhh, you wouldn't like them, they eat Apple's!


Apple: Really, like my daddy!


Cloaked Figure: Who's you daddy?


Apple: He's called daddy


Cloaked Figure: *sigh* What's his real name


Apple: Daddy


Cloaked Figure: *sigh* Well what does he do for a job?


Apple: Daddy's in Coldplay!


Cloaked Figure: *gasp* Is he Will Champion?


Apple: No, he's Chris, well that's what my mummy calls him!


Cloaked Figure: Oh, um, okay...


Apple: Daddy sings


Cloaked Figure:...Badly!


Apple starts crying


Cloaked Figure: Look, I'm sorry, please don't cry!


Apple: I want to go home!


Cloaked Figure: Wait!, Is your mummy Gwyneth Paltrow?


Apple: Yep, that's right!


Cloaked Figure: Okay, you can come home if you bring your mum to me!


Apple: Okay!


Cloaked Figure: Great!, Now let me take you back and you bring your mum to me, okay?


Apple: Yes!


Cloaked Figure: Good girl, now let's go


The pair skip out of The Bakery and into the car. At the Martin household, Chris has just arrived!


Chris: Is everything alright?


Gwyneth: No, no, Apple has gone missing!


Chris: Not Apple....NOT APPLE!


Gwyneth: We need to find her!


Chris: Okay, come jump in the car with me and we'll go and get the guys to he;p!


The pair run out and jump into the car, leaving Moses on his own


At the gay bar, Jonny and Ross are getting ever closer...

Ross: You are great Jonny!, so you say you are the lead singer of a band called Hotplay!


Jonny: Yep!, It's great!


Ross: How about if you come back to mine for a glass of wine?


Jonny: A Glass of Water?


Ross: No, a glass of wine!


Jonny: Oh that's good too!


Ross and Jonny run out of the bar, holding hands, leaving Guy and Will on their own!


The Cloaked Figure and Apple arrive at The Martin household...


Cloaked Figure: So, is this your house?


Apple: Yep!


Cloaked Figure: It's very big...


Apple: Well my dad is a big pop star and my mum is a big movie star!


Cloaked Figure: Don't get snobby with me little girl, i know some stuff about your dad, some nasty, sordid stuff!


Apple: What does sordid mean?


Cloaked Figure: It means shut up and open the door!


Apple: Okay


Apple opens the door and the Cloaked Figure and Apple walk in


Back at the gay bar, Gwyneth and Chris have arrived...


Gwyneth: Why is this club called 'Ross's Gay Bar'? Is there something you need to tell me?


Chris: Uhh...Uhh, Will really wanted to go!


Gwyneth: I knew it!, I always thought he was gay, nothing like you and Jonny, you two are as straight as a straight line, hahaha!


Chris: Uhh...yes, now let's get in there


The pair run into the gay bar...., meanwhile Jonny and Ross have arrived at Ross's house, they are having a drink on the sofa!


Jonny: So, it's a nice house you have here


Ross: Well I own the bar don't I, I have the money!


Jonny: Oh, you own it do you?


Ross: Oh yes!


Jonny: So, are you gay?


Ross: Huh?


Jonny: Are you gay?


Ross: What?


Jonny: Are you queer?


Ross: Pardon?


Jonny: Are you homosexual?


Ross: Say again?


Jonny: Do you like dick?


Ross: Certainly not!, I'm not gay!


Jonny: What?


Ross: Are you?


Jonny: Uh, no, of couse not!


Ross: Oh good, so you don't mind coming into my bedroom?


Jonny: No way!, get lost, Chris is a million times better than you!


Jonny runs out of Ross's house crying


At the Martin household, The Cloaked Figure and Apple have arrived...


Cloaked Figure: So, where is Gwyneth?


Apple: Who?


Cloaked Figure: Your mummy?


Apple: I don't know, she might be up on the 20th floor or if she wants fun, on the 36th!


Cloaked Figure: Go and look for her!


Apple: Okay!


Apple starts running up the stairs, followed by the Cloaked Figure meanwhile on 44th floor, Moses is in his bedroom


Moses: What's that noise?...


Moses hears the Cloaked Figure shouting 'Gwyneth'


Moses: *gasp* He want's mummy, well he's not going to get her!


Moses picks up a piece of lead piping which happens to be in his room and waits behind his door, waiting for the Cloaked Figure to come...


Back at the Gay Bar, Chris and Gwyneth have met Guy and Will...


Chris: Hey Guy, Hey Will, how are you doing?


Guy: I'm fine, how are you Gwyneth?


Gwyneth: I'm fine thanks Guy!


Guy: You have the most beautiful eyes!


Gwyneth: Not now Guy!


Chris: Apple has gone missing, we have got to find her, where's Jonny by the way?


Will: He's met a guy and has gone back to his!


Chris: What!?


Will: Is that a problem?


Chris: Uhh, no of course it isn't, come on we need to find Jon-, I meen Apple!, let's go!


Guy: I'll stay here with Gwyneth!


Chris: Okay, come on Will!


Will and Chris run out towards Chris's car


Guy: So Gwyneth, do you want a drink?


Gwyneth: No, thank you!


Guy: Come on, have one!


Gwyneth: Fine but only one!


Guy walks towards the bar to get the drinks, while Gwyneth sneaks out of the bar...


Jonny is leaning on a bridge by a river, he's staring down at the water...


Jonny: This has made me realise how much I love Chris, *sigh*, what am I going to do?


Ross run's up to him...


Ross: There you are!, I was getting worried!


Jonny: Get lost!


Ross: Come on, give me a hug!


Jonny: No, because you don't mean it, I love Chris, I am GAY!


Ross: Get away from me you gay freak!


Jonny punches Ross and throws him into the river!


Jonny: Oh no, what have I done?


Jonny's phone vibrates, he's got a text from Chris...


Jonny: AHH!, A text from Chris, 'Jonny, Will has told me that you have met someone else but I still love you, come back to me, please'....Oh Chris, of course i will, okay, reply, oh no, I'm out of credit!....


Jonny cries again and starts running to the gay bar...leaving Ross in the water...

Back at the Martin household, Moses is waiting for the Cloaked Figure to come up to his floor!, he hears a noise and quickly opens the door!


Moses: Ahah!, you won't get mummy!


Moses hit's someone...it's Apple!


Moses: Oh no, Apple....


Cloaked Figure (Running up stairs): What was that Apple, I heard a voice...


The Cloaked Figure and Moses look at each other and both at the same time say:


Who are you?


The Police have arrived at the river where Ross is lying in the water...A wierd man called the police and is at the scene...


Wierd Man: Ooh, I was walkin' down ere bridge when i noticed something lyin' in the water wit' them ducks nd i fort to meself, eh, that doesn' luk like a duck nd then i fort, ey, he luk's a bit like me, then i fort is it my bruver, nd then i fort no bt it's a human bein' nd then i fort, he don't luk too good so i rang u nd here we are!


Policeman 1: Yes you said all that on the phone...


Wierd Man: Ooh Ei, I did...


Policeman 2: Okay, so let's get this body out the water...


The two policemen walk into the river and pull out Ross when he opens his eyes and runs out...


Policeman 1: My goodness!


Wierd Man: Bi gum, he's alive!


Meanwhile Jonny has arrived at the Gay Bar where he meets Guy who is crying...


Jonny: Where's Chris?


Guy: Arn't u going to ask why I am crying?


Jonny: Arn't you going to ask how It went with Ross?


Guy: Fine, how did it go?


Jonny: Don't Ask!


Guy: But you just asked me to!


Jonny: Just don't!, Where's Chris then?


Guy: Apple has gone missing, him and Will have gone to find her!


Jonny: What? Well we've got to help him!


Guy: But where is he?


Jonny: Just follow me, I have a feeling where he may be!


Guy and Jonny run out the bar and catch a bus!

Meanwhile Chris and Will have arrived on a hilltop...


Will: Why are we here?


Chris: I need to think!


Will: Think about what, Your daughters gone missing you know!


Chris: She's only an Apple!


Will: What are you saying?


Chris: I meen she's only Apple, no, your right, what am I saying? Let's go.... (Chris's phone vibrates) Ooh, I've got a text, it's Guy!


Chris reads the text silently to himself...


Chris: We need to stay here!


Will: Why?


Chris: Just shut up!, We're staying here!


Jonny and Guy are still on the bus...


Jonny: Thanks for letting me use your phone Guy!


Guy: No problem, how much further is it?


Jonny: Not much, we'll be there in about ten minutes....


Meanwhile, Gwyneth is walking down the street where she see's a group of youths...they start walking up to her


Youth 1: Hey, Babe, are you that Movie star?


Gwyneth: I don't know what you are talking about...


Youth 2: Yeah, it is, your one married to that puff guy from moldclay!


Gwyneth: It's COLDPLAY!


Youth 3: Haha, it's definetely her, Gwyneth right...


Gwyneth: Yes...


Youth 3: Well Gwyneth, give us your handbag!


Gwyneth: No!


The three Youths push Gwyneth over and take her handbag and run off, leaving Gwyneth in the middle of the road...


At the Martin household, Apple is on the floor unconcious and Moses and the Cloaked Figure are staring at each other...


Cloaked Figure: What have you done to Apple?


Moses: Stay away!


Cloaked Figure: I'm just checking if she is alright!




Cloaked Figure: So are you Apple's brother?


Moses: Yes!


Cloaked Figure: Oh cool, so, where's your mum and dad?


Moses: I don't know!


Cloaked Figure: What do you mean you don't know, have they left you on your own?


Moses: Shut up!


Cloaked Figure: Just let me check how your sister's doing!


The Cloaked Figure bends down to check on Apple, and Moses raises the lead piping and hit's the Cloaked Figure round the head, he falls on the floor, unconcious aswell, Moses checks in the Cloaked Figure's pocket for a phone, he finds one and dials 999


Moses: Hello, Ambulance please!


Moses: Yes, my sister needs help!


Back at the hilltop and Jonny and Guy have arrived...


Chris: JONNY!


Jonny: Hey Chris!


Chris: I am so glad that you are okay!


Will: Hey Jonny!


Guy (sarcastically): Yeah I am fine guys!


Will: Who asked you? So we've got to go and find Apple!


Chris: Yep!, Hey Jonny, where's Gwyneth?


Jonny: I don't know...


Guy: She left me at the bar...


Chris: No problem, I'll just ring her...


Chris pulls out his phone and rings Gwyneth but there's no answer


Chris: Huh, no answer, i'll try the home phone...


Chris dials home but it is engaged...


Chris: Huh, it's engaged, I think we should get back to my house then, come on guys!


Guy: Excuse me, there is only one Guy!


Chris: And that's Jonny! haha


Guy and Will: Very funny...


The four of them jump into Chris's car and head towards the Martin household!


Moses is waiting nervously at the house for the arrival of the Ambulance...


Moses: What am I gonna do? I'm a child who has just knocked two people out, I'm on my own in a big house, i've got two famous parents and they probabbly won't even believe my name....


There is a knock at the door....Moses goes to answer, it's the Ambulance...


Ambulance Guy 1: Hello, son, are there any adults about?


Moses: Uhh, no..


Ambulance Guy 1: We're you the one who rang us?


Moses: Yes, there upstairs, follow me!


The Ambulance Guy's follow Moses up the stairs where the Cloaked Figure and Apple are laying on the floor, Moses, without them looking, jets down the stairs and out of the house...

Meanwhile, not far away from the Martin household, Gwyneth is laying in the middle of the road, sobbing...


Gwyneth: CHRIS! CHRIS!, Where are you?


A Car's headlight's beam on Gwyneth and the car starts speeding towards her...


Chris, Jonny, Guy and Will, meanwhile are on their way back to the Martin household...


Chris: Faster, Will, Faster...I know I shouldn't of let you drive!....


Will: Well Chris, I am not the one who has been arrested, so you just be quiet!


Jonny: WAIT!, There's a women in the road!




The car slows down narrowlly missing the women, The Guys get out of the car.... the women is Gwyneth!


Chris: Gwyneth, is that you?


Gwyneth: Yes!, Chris and you almost killed me!


Chris, Guy & Jonny: IT WAS WILL!


Will: Hey Chris it was you who told me t-


Chris: QUIET Will!...Anyway Gwyneth, what are you doing, it's not safe for you to be out here on your own, there are crazy pervert's like Guy and Will around!


Guy and Will: Hey!


Gwyneth: I was mugged, they took everything but my clothes!


Guy: Don't worry I'll take those!


There is an awkward silence...until Will breaks the silence...


Will: Hey!, Is that Apple over there?


Chris: No, but it's Moses!....Moses, MOSES!, Over here!


Two men walk over to Chris...


Man 1: Here I am!


Man 2: Why do you want me?


Chris: No!, I meant my son!


Man 2: If he gets to wear clothes like you, then I'm your son!


Chris: Get out of here....SON!


Moses runs over two Chris and the two of them embrace...


Gwyneth: Why have you been out?


Moses: You left me at home!


Chris: Oh no, we are so sorry, this is terrible, you have been wondering the streets and your sister is missing!


Moses: Yeah, missing...


Chris: We'll just get home and then ring the police when we get there!


Moses: Okay...


The six of them jump in the car and head over to the Martin Household...


Chris: Come on guys, let's go and get a drink!


Guy: Ooh, I'd love a drink, wouldn't you Gwyneth?


Gwyneth: Uhh, yes!


The home phone rings...


Chris: I'll get it!


Chris picks up the phone and is surprised to hear that it is the Hospital and that Apple is there...


Chris: GWYNETH! They have found Apple and she is at the hospital and they have also found a man who calls him the 'Cloaked Figure'...


Gwyneth: Huh?


Will: Huh? Huh?


Guy: Huh? Huh? Huh?


Jonny: Huh? Huh? Huh?


Moses: Oh, um....Huh?


Chris: Yes, Huh? indeed... Look, we need to go and pick her up!


Gwyneth: Okay!


Jonny: Can I just speak to you Chris for a minute in private?


Chris: Yeah, sure...


Jonny and Chris walk into another room...


Chris: What is it then Jonny?


Jonny: I love you!


Chris: Take me now!


[I]Chris walks over to lock the door, turns to Jonny and enjoy a sexy romp!

At the Gay Bar, Ross is closing up, a barman is with him...[/i]


Ross: Ahh, what is wrong with me?


Barman: Your brilliant!


Ross: I mean, I almost died back then...and yet I feel no anger...


Barman: That is what you call deluded, mate!


Ross: I need Jonny back!


Ross run's out of the bar, leaving the Barman on his own...


Barman: Ross! ROSS!, Who's Jonny?


Meanwhile back at the Martin Household, Chris and Jonny are enjoying themselves...they are kissing...


Jonny: Ahh, I love you soo much!


Chris: And I you!


Jonny: But, Chris, CHRIS!, You are married!


Chris: She's on TV, she's not real!


Jonny: I'm being serious, we can't carry on like this!


Chris: I'll leave her then!


Jonny: Would you?...Really?


Chris: For you!....Anything!...I just need to go to the hospital and pick up Apple!


Jonny: Okay


Before Chris and Jonny go into the other room to meet Gwyneth, Moses, Will & Guy they share another passionate kiss


Gwyneth: There you are Chris...Anyone would have thought you two were having sex!


Chris: Haha, yeh...


Jonny: Oh don't be ridicolous!, Hahaha.....ha


Moses: Mummy what does sex mean?


Guy: Well Moses sex is when two people rub each other really hard and sometimes one of the people fall inside the other!


Moses: WOW!, Can I have sex with you?


Gwyneth: GUY!


Gwyneth slaps Guy


Gwyneth: How dare you speak to my child about stuff like that!


Guy: Oh shut it Gwyneth, in fact, I don't care....Chris, I've got something to tell you...me and Gwyneth have been having an affair!


Chris: WHAT?




Guy: Yeah, that's right, but it's over now, I'm just going outside, you and Gwyneth can be left to kill each other!


Guy walks out, blowing a kiss to Gwyneth...


At the police station, the Wierd Man has come in for questioning...


Policeman 1: Sooo....what's your name, then?


Wierd Man: Me name?


Policeman 2: Yes, your name!


Wierd Man: There be a funnie stori behin' me name' u kno'. It al' happenen' twent' year ago...


Policeman 1: All we want is your name...


Wierd Man: But...


Policeman 2: Okay, so your name is But?....Second name?


Wierd Man: But...


Policeman 1: So your name is But But!


Wierd Man: Noooooooooo


Policeman 2: Are you from Africa? Yes, and what happened then...


Wierd Man: Waaa?


Policeman 2: And what happened was Waaa...okay we're done, Tim, let's get a coffee


Policeman 1: Yes, let's...


The two policemen walk out, hand in hand and head towards the coffee machine...


There is a knock at the Martin household...Jonny goes to answer, it is Ross


Ross: Jonny, I thought I would find you here!


Jonny: ROSS!


Ross: Yes it's me, I love you Jonny, kiss me!


Ross pulls Jonny towards him for a kiss as Chris watches on in anger...


Jonny: I don't want you Ross! I want Chris!


Gwyneth: What!


Ross: What?


Will: OMG!


Guy: Time to make my move, hehehe!


Chris: Jonny, this is not the right time!


Gwyneth: Is what he is saying true Chris?


Chris: What...


Gwyneth: Does Jonny love you?


Chris: Why don't you ask him?


Gwyneth: Jonny, do you love Chris?


Jonny: Yes, I love him and I don't care who knows it!


Gwyneth: And do you, Chris, love Jonny?


Chris: I....I


Jonny: Say it!


Chris: Yes!, I love Jonny!


Will: Well I never saw that coming...


Gwyneth start's crying!


Gwyneth: How could you?


Gwyneth runs upstairs crying..


Guy: I better make sure she's alright...


Guy follows her up


Chris: Moses, I think you should go to bed


Moses: But, but...daddy!


Chris: GO! Now!


Moses runs upstairs with tears running down his eyes


Ross: Well, Jonny, you will see me in court!


Ross run's out the house


Chris: Will, can you leave please!


Will: Yeah sure, I'll see you guys tomorrow then?


Chris: Don't count on it!


Will smiles and walks out the house...


Jonny: I can't believe what you have done!


Chris: Neither can I, look, we can't leave Apple any longer, come with me to the hospital to pick her up!


Jonny: Okay!


Chris and Jonny walk out the house and into Chris's car..


At the hospital, Apple and the Cloaked Figure are in bed's next to each other...


Apple: What colour is you plaster?


Cloaked Figure: Pink...What's yours?


Apple: Blue, can we swap?


Cloaked Figure: I don't think we can...


Apple: So what is your name, then?


Cloaked Figure: I don't have a name...


Apple: Don't lie to me...


Cloaked Figure: I mean I don't like to have a name.


Apple: So you do have one...


Cloaked Figure: Yes


Apple: Tell me, please, I can keep a secret!


Cloaked Figure: Okay, but you promise not to tell anyone!


Apple: I promise


Cloaked Figure: My name....is....Banana!


The hospital turns silent for a few seconds then burst into fits of laughter as Chris and Jonny burst through the doors...


Chris: What is so funny?


Apple: Dad!...Jonny!


Chris: Hey love!


Jonny: Y'alright Ap's?


Apple: I'm alright but he's not


Chris: Who's that?


Apple: This is Banana, Banana, this is my Dad and Jonny Buckland...


Banana: Uhh...hi!


Chris: Come on let's take you home!


Banana: Thanks!


Chris: Not you!, Apple!


Apple: Where's Mummy?


Chris: Ummm, at home, come on let's go!


Apple jumps out of her bed and holds Chris's hand and waves goodbye to Banana with her other hand!


Banana: Seeya Apple!, It has been fun, whenever I kidnap again you will be the first one!


Apple: Thanks Banana, seeya!


Banana: Bye!


Apple, Chris and Jonny walk out of the hospital, leaving Banana with a nurse..


Nurse: Okay. umm, Banana, let's get you ready to go home...who's gonna pick you up?


Banana: Umm, ummm, ummm, my, ummm, mum


Nurse: Okay what's her name?


Banana: Ummm, Lemon!


Back at the Martin Household...Guy is comforting Gwyneth and Moses listen's on


Guy: Don't cry, please, you look ugly when you cry!


Gwyneth: Oh, you are sweet Guy!, maybe your not to bad after all, maybe there is a chance for us!


Guy: You mean...your leaving Chris?


Gwyneth: Yes!


Moses listen's in with horror, run's downstairs and collapes in tears at the bottom!


It's judgement day for the Martin family...Chris, Jonny and Apple have spent the night sleeping in the car and have arrived back home...


Chris: Okay, Apple before we go in I need to tell you something


Apple: What is it Daddy?


Chris: Me and, um, your Mum have had a little argument and things won't be brilliant at the moment...


Apple: What did you do?


Chris: You know that I love your mum..


Apple: Yes


Chris: Well I love someone else aswelll...


Apple: Who?...Is it Will!


Jonny: No!, Apple, it's me!


There is an awkward silence, as Chris opens the door...upstairs Guy and Gwyneth are lying on top of each other...Gwyneth wakes up


Gwyneth: Guy!, WAKE UP!, I heard a noise...Uhh!, Ir's Chris, get him away!


Guy is still lying asleep...Gwyneth picks up a stick which she has at the side of her bed for protection and hits Guy hard!


Guy: OW!, What was that for?


Gwyneth: Go and get Chris away!


Guy: Anything for you!


Guy waltzes downstairs humming the tune of 'Viva La Vida'


Chris: Guy!, What are you doing here!


Guy: Gwyneth doesn't want you near her!


Chris: She is my wife!


Guy: Then quit being gay!


Chris: I can't just 'quit' being gay!


Guy: Of course you can, I did 20 years ago when I kissed Will *shudder*, I'll never do that again!


Jonny: Just leave us alone!


Guy: Make me!


Chris: Look if we continue fighting we might end up splitting up and you don't want that do you?


Jonny: Of course not!


Guy: I don't care, well I'm not coming back anyway!


Chris: WHAT!?, But we will be lost without you!


Guy: I can't play with a gay!


Chris: Fine!, get out, we don't need you!


Guy: I think it is you who should go!, I am with Gwyneth now!


Gwyneth shouts from upstairs


Gwyneth: No your not!


Chris: Gwyneth!, I'm coming up there


Guy: Your not going anyway near her!


Chris: Get out the way!


Chris punches Guy and runs upstairs


Apple: Dad! What are you doing!


Guy: ARGH!, Your in for it now Martin


Guy runs after Chris!

Upstair's, Chris has come face to face with Gwyneth...


Chris: Gwyneth!, Please, listen to me!


Gwyneth: NO!, You listen to me, You have to make a choice!- Me or Jonny?


Chris: I!...Ugh...I choose...


There is a gunshot from downstair's....

Chris and Gwyneth run downstairs...


Apple: It was a man, this man came and shot Jonny!




Jonny: Chris I love you!


Chris: I know, I know, who did this?


Jonny: It was Ross!


Chris: You'll be okay, we have to get you to a hospital...


Jonny: NO CHRIS!, I am dying...


Chris: This can't be!


Jonny: Sorry Chris...


Jonny closes his eyes and quietly dies...


Chris: NOOOO!


Chris runs out and see's Ross running towards his car, he turns towards Chris


Ross: I hate Lawyers!


Ross speed's off, leaving Chris on his doorstep

He walks back into his house...


Gwyneth: I have rung Will, he is on his way round!


Moses: Daddy!, What's happening now?


Chris: Well, I'm staying here, Jonny was just....just a friend!


Gwyneth: So you love me?


Chris: Yes!


Apple: Is Uncle Jonny okay, daddy?


Chris: No!, he isn't....he's dead sweetheart


Apple: NOO!


Will arrives and walks in


Will: I can't believe this has happened...


Chris: Come on Will, come on Guy, come on Gwyn, come on Moses and Apple, let's go and get some breakfast....


All of them leave the room and walk into the kitchen, leaving Jonny's body on the floor...Jonny stands up and get's his phone out and ring's Ross..


Jonny: Hey thanks Ross, that taught Chris a lesson, thanks alot!, I've got to go now sorry!


Apple walks in to meet Jonny


Apple: Hey Jonny!


Jonny: Thank's for helping!


Apple: No problem, will we ever see you again?


Jonny: When ever you look in the sky you will see the stars spell out the name 'Jonny Buckland'....Chris can't love me, he's got to have his family!, I will be back someday!


Apple: Yep, bye Jonny!


Jonny: Bye!


Jonny walks out the house humming the tune to 'Fix You'-----------------------------------






(Shouting to the next room where Chris is on the computer)

Will: Hey Chris come over here I want to see what you think of this new drum part!


Chris: Okay, okay, let me just log out of Coldplaying!


15 Minutes later...Chris walks into the room where Will is


Will: Where were you?


Chris: On Coldplaying, I was talking to a girl called Ale who says she is Sexiest User but then i got into an argument with her as I was saying that I am sexier!


Will: What's Coldplaying? Is it a new band trying to rip off us!


Chris: Uhh...yeah, that's it!


Will: If I find who they are I will kill them, whats their lead singers name?


Chris: Ian


Will: Well this Ian is going to get a cap in his ass!


Chris: Yeah, go and get him!


Will runs out the front door and down the street...Back in the studio, Chris runs back to the computer


Chris: Okay, now to log into Coldplaying again!....What....'Banned'????....Oh nooo!, Will wait for me!!!!!




At Chris and Gwyneths House In London, Chris and Gwyneth are lying in bed talking....


Chris: Hey, now that the Viva tour has finished there is something I have been meaning to ask you for...


Gwyneth: What is it Chris?


Chris: I want S-

Chris is interrupted, there is a large knock on their bedroom window, Chris gets out of bed and walks towards the window, and opens the curtains, it's Jonny!


(Shocked) Chris- Jonny? What the hell are you doing here?


Jonny- I've come to say hi!


Chris- But your at my bedroom window!


Jonny- Well arn't you going to let me in?


Chris reluctantly opens the window, Jonny climbs into their bedroom...


Jonny- Thanks Chris, oh hey Gwyneth, isn't it cold, do you mind if I get into bed with you?


Gwyneth- uhhh


Jonny jumps into bed


Jonny- Thanks, hey Chris, we can't leave you out, come in too!


Chris joins them...there is an awkward silence


Gwyneth- I'm sick of this I'm going off to watch American Idol, I mean X Factor...


Gwyneth walks out of the room


Jonny- Chr--


Chris: Shh!, Don't talk


Chris walks over to the bedroom door and sexily locks it and then, strips naked and jumps back into bed with Jonny....Who is already naked!


Chris: Will you do it with me Jonny?


Jonny: I thought you'd never ask....


The pair lock lips...


Jonny: That is all I have ever wanted, that is all I need....


Jonny pulls out a gun, and aims it at his head....


Chris: What are you doing?


Jonny: Goodbye!


Jonny pulls the trigger, there is a bang and Jonny lies motionless on the bed


Chris: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!, If I kiss thee lips again, maybe my sweet will come back to life?


Chris reaches in to kiss Jonny's lifeless body...


Chris: Thank you!


Chris picks up the gun and aims it for his head and shoots....The room is in silence, Jonny sit's up!


Jonny: Hey Chris, you do know it's not a real gun...Hey Chris...


Jonny moves Chris's lifeless body, feels for a pulse and get's nothing






It's a normal day at The Bakery, Will, Jonny and Guy have gone off for Sausage Rolls, Chris is on his own, there is a knock at the door, Chris goes to open it, it is Phil!


Chris: Hey Phil, how's it going?


Phil: There's something I want to talk to you about!


Chris: You better come in then....


Phil pushes past Chris and into the Bakery, he sit's on the sofa and pats the side of him, gesturing for Chris to sit next to him, he does!


Chris: So what is it Phil?


Phil: I have just read on Coldplaying that some people think of me as the fifth member of Coldplay...


Chris: Oh really?


Phil: Yeah


Chris: And your point is....


Phil: Don't jerk me around fella, where's my money?


Chris: Money, what bloody money?


Phil: For being in Coldplay, I hear about the amount of money you lot get, well, i want a piece of it!


Chris: I think you better leave...


Phil: I'm not going anywhere....


Chris: I'll set Will on you!


Phil: AHHH! Not Will!, okay, I'll go, but I'll be back with my minions the other 'members' of Coldplay... Davide Rossi, Brian Eno, Markus Dravs and Rik Simpson!




MY BEBO: http://www.psypsypsy.bebo.com

MY FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/profile.php?id=516896962&ref=profile

MY YOUTUBE: http://www.youtube.com/psypsymon


















The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.








A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually










Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.








Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."








If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.








Women blink nearly twice as much as men.








Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than


left-handed people do.








The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which


they start.








Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or


it will digest itself. (YUCK!)








The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle.








A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and


down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top.(who leaves


champers in their glass long enough to find out?)








A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why.








On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily!








Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear










There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple


and silver.








The name Wendy was made up for the book "Peter Pan". There was


never a recorded Wendy before






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What on earth is a "face" sport?? Is it something to do with David Beckham?:confused:





Your dad's nearly as old as mine!!:stunned::shocked2::stunned:


oops, sorry edited it!, and yeah my dad is pretty old BUT he doesn't look like it, honestly :P, He used to be in the RAF you know, and now my older brother has followed in his footsteps haha, and my dad still works!, He's a Hypnotherapist!

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oops, sorry edited it!, and yeah my dad is pretty old BUT he doesn't look like it, honestly :P, He used to be in the RAF you know, and now my older brother has followed in his footsteps haha, and my dad still works!, He's a Hypnotherapist!


In which case maybe he's hypnotised you into thinking he looks young!!:P

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i'm fine guys! :D, Anyway, this took me about half an hour at the most and I finished the final part of The Adventure today which took me like 20 minutes...


So not really! :P, I tried to go out sledging but the snow was like sludge and not good Sledge Snow! :P

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ALRIGHT GUYS!????...I've got a competition for you!....Someone has to design me a new sig!, I am not good with all the fancy stuff and I really want a cool one, so who would like to particapate to make me a sig, the winning one will be chosen by me (of course :P), and they will get a big kiss from me hahaha! Or something like that... :D, Please, I would be eternally greatful, thanks!



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