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You have two cows. And The government is...


Black Rose

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(Nicked from another forum)

 

You have two cows. And The government…

 

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

 

 

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both cows. The government sells the milk in government stores. You can’t afford the milk. You wither away.

 

 

COMMUNISM — CUBAN: You have two cows. Fidel tells you some undercover CIA agents have infected all of the cows in your region with a foreign disease that kills the cows. You and your family become malnourished. It begins to occur to you that Fidel doesn’t know what he is talking about.

 

 

COMMUNISM — “PURE”: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk. Well, maybe the local bully gets more, or a few neighbors band together to kill you so that there is more milk for everyone else.

 

 

COMMUNISM — SOVIET: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk. Then the government sends you to prison.

 

 

SOCIALISM — BUREAUCRATIC: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else’s cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you should need.

 

 

TALIBANISM: You have two cows. At first, the government makes them wear burkas, but later shoots them because “they are Hindu religious symbols.”

 

 

UNITED NATIONISM: You have two cows. France vetoes you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. New Zealand abstains.

 

 

SAUDIISM: You have two cows. Since milking the cow involves nipples, the government decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow on one side of a curtain and a guy milking the cow on the other side.

 

 

QATARISM: You have two cows. They’ve been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing, you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows in the shortest time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

 

 

PACIFISM: You have two cows. They stampede you.

 

 

ANARCHISM: You have two cows. The cows decide you have no right to do anything with their milk and leave to form their own society.

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