I'm in the process of writing a song, and it's not done yet, but I am very eager to post it and have feedback!

 

Ocean of Confusion

 

(Verse 1)

 

In the heart of the ocean

Lies a story of fiction

The ocean of confusion

Unlocks it's secrets

 

(Verse 2)

 

I sail through the day

Checking off my list

Searching for something

That does not exist

 

(Chorus)

The ocean of confusion

Washes over me

Now I can see

It's pulling me under

No breath to breathe

I pray to thee

 

(Verse 3)

 

The freezing temperatures

The medicine and the cures

Are no match

For this ruthless disease

 

(Bridge?)

 

I'm

Fighting this, fighting this, fighting this

Trying this, trying this, and trying this

To the sea, to the sea, to the sea

For the key, for the key, for the key

 

(Verse 4)

To unlock this mystery

This madness that's

Taking over me

 

(Instrumental)

 

That's all I have so far, and I know that it's difficult to imagine without the piano I made with it, especially the rhythm of the lyrics, but any feedback would be awesome! I will try my best to get a video up of me and the piano as soon as I can!

Thank you!

I LOVE IT!.....

Thank you!

I love the chorus! Good job, keep it up!!

cool

Nice lyrics!!:D

Maybe something else to rhyme with "me" in the chorus or a different line.

I love it!

I can't really come up with anything i think you could improve right now. Looking forward to read/hear more:smug:

Real good lyrics man :)

Post up a video of you singing it and playing it on the piano, that would be great :D

Not really anything to do with Coldplay though is it.

Of course I was like, OMG! A new Coldplay song? :laugh3:

It's really good so far...I love the lyrics.

you're a poet! ;) go on writing i'll wait for reading more.. is the music fast or slow?

is the music fast or slow?

 

Good question, I just assumed it would be slow :)

Real good lyrics man :)

Post up a video of you singing it and playing it on the piano, that would be great :D

 

I would but unfortunately I don't own a video camera, but maybe i could steal my little brothers for a few minutes:sneaky:

but I'll try to do it as soon as i can

you're a poet! ;) go on writing i'll wait for reading more.. is the music fast or slow?

 

Thank you! It's all over the place really. fast, slow, medium, anything really. I'm still trying to get it in order

The chorus is fantastic

 

 

 

If you need any help w/ lyrics or music you can always come to me. I am a songwriter and guitarist so I can help you out if you ever need it. Sometimes it's nice to brainstorm;)

Thanks! One day I just put on the song "Enter the Lovely" by Bluetech (it's techno), and I just sat at the piano and wrote for the whole 8 minutes the song went on. I felt like I was just in a trance, but this song was inspired by a poster in my math class lol. I'm gonna get a pic of it and put it up here

Thanks! One day I just put on the song "Enter the Lovely" by Bluetech (it's techno), and I just sat at the piano and wrote for the whole 8 minutes the song went on. I felt like I was just in a trance, but this song was inspired by a poster in my math class lol. I'm gonna get a pic of it and put it up here

I am the same way. My best songs I didn't remember writing. I just sat and they poured out of me. those you know are good because they're not you thinking, they are you feeling

Yeah and I can't write a song if I have a title or subject picked out because it limits my ideas.

Yeah and I can't write a song if I have a title or subject picked out because it limits my ideas.

I sometimes find it helps to write with a subject in mind if you are in a slump. sometimes you just can't write one off the top of your head.