A slightly more serious topic than is usuallyposted on here, and a little more inanimate hopefully.

 

anyways, kinda asking a few places i go on for some advice.

 

I have a friend who's recently started talking to me after about 10 months of not talking to me.

 

Now, i know the decision is ultimatly my own, i would appreciate a few thoughs on the subject.

 

This person was a very good friend of mine, and i do miss him, in parts. But there are also aspects i havent missed, such as the entire "could you get me this, download me that etc" and if we ever met outside of college it was always near him, and not me. which was annoying considering we lived the opesite sides of our college.

 

I am also a little wary of how we would get back to being friends, things sinmply can't go back to being how they were, in both cases, im sure, trust needs to be rebuilt and new boundries will no doubt be set. And i am uncertain of whether doing so will taint the image i have of what his friendship meant to me, or re-paint the entire notion of our friendship, or if we will be closer friends due to maturity and knowing what went wrong before and fixing it.

 

not sure. confused...strange....meh

 

any thoughts?

Erm its a tough one but i recom u shud just give it ago and see how it goes also if the good aspects outwiegh the bad aspects then i guess u have ur answer but bahh its tough :huh:

lol, these agony aunt threads kill me.

yeah i also say try it and see if it works out. if it doesn't find a slick way of getting away from him i guess.

unless you actually want to be honest and tell him what you think. :P

hmm.

 

Well yes, it is tough, but to go a little more in depth.

 

I am very shocked he messaged me, as we fell out at the time i was, in simple terms, a complete and utter twat. Looking back, i think they may have had good reason to "hate" me, but then a part of me says that friends will stick by you, even if it isn't easy, which would also mean i should now give him a chance.

 

It's just, i'm a very stubbourn person when it comes to issues of trust and hypocrisy. I felt that Tom (the friend), broke my trust and then showed a lack of respect when he went around badmouthing me to all my other college friends/uni friends that we had from school. I felt that was completely out of order.

 

But, i know i have bad mouthed him to people, ok people he doesn't know but i still bad mouthed him.

 

I would like to be friends with him, but i fear getting hurt, i fear trusting him only to have him break it, only for us to fall out over pettythings again. I fear that it wont be the same, and that i wont like it much if it isn't

 

I hate change, i hate waiting. I'm not always the easiest of people to get along with, but i do try. But i think my own stubbourness holds me back regards forgiving people, and also in peolpe wanting to forgive me.

 

There are a few people who i fellout with, whom i both miss and yet don't miss. We move on, we live our lives the way we have to. And yet, it's always ncie to have your old friends there.

 

When me and tom were friends, it was good, we went up town, we shared jokes, problems, talked, cheered each-other up, was able to trust the other

 

but now could we do that? and what if all the bad sides come through, we both have short tempers, and oh sod it i dunno.

 

neither of the boards i've put this on has had much response. please, if you have any thoughts,good or bad, please give them. any advice would be appreciated.

 

thanks

i'd say give it a try, whats the worst that could happen? ;)

You have a really tough situation because you and your friend can have the best of times together, but also the worst times..like when your both up, your way up..but when your both down, your way down.

I know it's confusing cause I have been there before, but I don't think your gonna find the answer here. You've really gotta sit down and think about it..I mean, not like the pluses and minuses of your friendship, but just what you think is truely better in the end. I mean you and your friend seem to of had such good times, but with all the 'backstabbing' or whatever going on you have to think is it really worth it. I mean, it might as well be worth it but that's for you to decide. I can really help because I don't know you and your friends history together, or what your thinking, ya know?

I suggest you think about, and if you think you want to see where your headed with this friend, talk to him first. I know it's hard, but really once you start talking everything can get sorted.

If your ready and willing to build your friendship and trust back up with this guy then do. Just make sure you know he is sincere and he's not gonna hurt you again. If you really wanted this friendship to work you have to put aside your differences and try to work at it you know?

You should just talk to him first ;)

 

:)

that's pretty much what i thought when typing this out, and have spent a good deal of time thinking about this, although inbetweeen my hyper activity states :)

 

i guess i'll just take it slow, talk to him, see how thigns are, then see where it goes after that.

That's a good idea Majson :)

 

I really hope everything works out for you..