Professor Peedston Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 a collection of Mitch Hedberg: "Last week I helped my friend stay put. It's a lot easier than helping someone move. I just went over to his house and made sure that he did not start to load shit into a truck." "I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others." "I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because then I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zip it up real quick?" "One time a guy handed me a picture of himself, and he said, 'Here's a picture of me when I was younger.' Every picture of you is of when you were younger. Here's a picture of me when I am older. You son of a bitch, how'd you pull that off? Let me see that camera..." "Sometimes I wave to people I don't know. It is very dangerous to wave to people you don't know, because what if they don't have a hand? They'll think you're cocky. 'Look what I got motherfucker, this thing is useful...I'm gonna go pick something up'" "I'm against picketing, but I don't know how to show it." "2-in-1 is a bullshit term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created." "I have a friend who is a juggler. When I go to his house I don't like to take food from him if it is in threes. 'He has three apples left...I guess I can't have one'" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweet marianne Posted December 5, 2003 Share Posted December 5, 2003 "A good friend will bail you out of jail, but your best friend will be the one sitting next to you saying 'That was fucking awesome!'" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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