Troxley Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Yay! :smart: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spider-Man Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Man...I have a song i really like. But it has no chorus. I've been looking and trying to think of a chorus that's 10 words exactly or less. It's a song about starting over again. It was inspired by UATW. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troxley Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Hmm...10 words? So it'quite a short chorus then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spider-Man Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Yep. It's to the point. Let me post it if you don't mind and tell me what you think. It's called Tomorrow, but I might change it to Life On The Frontline or something else. Oh sunlight rising in the eastern sky Can we escape from this world and fly Just let the rain erase all of the pain So one day we can start again The roads we're traveling bend and curve We may be wondering, but we won't swerve Out of control, we'll keep searching High and low for our heart and our soul <insert chorus here> Siting silent and still on top of a hill Through all the storms and chains I see you running Through all the mist and rain I see your heart glowing and pounding against the pain And if this is a sign Please show me the right way Up high or down below Somewhere the northern lights glow So maybe one day Something good will come our way Something good will come our way Something good will come and stay <chorus here> Still looking for that chorus...:thinking: The original chorus was I'm wishing away the pain and sorrow And hoping for a new tomorrow...but it sounds stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troxley Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Wow, those are beautiful lyrics! I love them! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spider-Man Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Thank you, can you think of anything that could make them better? I'm trying to improve it. With your vast superior poetry skills I'll bet you can write very moving pieces. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troxley Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Well, it's pretty great. I just noticed that there are not the same amount of syllables from one verse to the next, on any of the corresponding lines. For instance: Oh sunlight rising in the eastern sky - 10 syllables The roads we're traveling bend and curve - 9 syllables I'm not sure how it is supposed to sound though, so Maybe it's okay if it's like that. But that is just something I noticed. Anyways, if I think of something that I feel could improve it, I'll tell you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spider-Man Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Okay I see what you mean...Thank you very much. I'll take this into account. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollyxyloto Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Yep. It's to the point. Let me post it if you don't mind and tell me what you think. It's called Tomorrow, but I might change it to Life On The Frontline or something else. Oh sunlight rising in the eastern sky Can we escape from this world and fly Just let the rain erase all of the pain So one day we can start again The roads we're traveling bend and curve We may be wondering, but we won't swerve Out of control, we'll keep searching High and low for our heart and our soul <insert chorus here> Siting silent and still on top of a hill Through all the storms and chains I see you running Through all the mist and rain I see your heart glowing and pounding against the pain And if this is a sign Please show me the right way Up high or down below Somewhere the northern lights glow So maybe one day Something good will come our way Something good will come our way Something good will come and stay <chorus here> Still looking for that chorus...:thinking: The original chorus was I'm wishing away the pain and sorrow And hoping for a new tomorrow...but it sounds stupid. Keaton, those lyrics are bloody beautiful :nice: :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troxley Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 When this song becomes famous, we can say we saw it in the making! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollyxyloto Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 :nod: I better get a shout out at the music awards Keaton! :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troxley Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Yeah, me too, since I gave you advise. :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollyxyloto Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Yeah, me too, since I gave you advise. :P There is no reason for me..... Erm.... We talked about Spider-Man and that song I remind you of :nice: That is why I should get a shout out :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troxley Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 You don't need a reason, you're awesome enough to not need one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollyxyloto Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 You don't need a reason, you're awesome enough to not need one. :hug: thank-you! There's so many nice Coldplayers :nice: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Troxley Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 You're welcome! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alien Radio Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Yep. It's to the point. Let me post it if you don't mind and tell me what you think. It's called Tomorrow, but I might change it to Life On The Frontline or something else. Oh sunlight rising in the eastern sky Can we escape from this world and fly Just let the rain erase all of the pain So one day we can start again The roads we're traveling bend and curve We may be wondering, but we won't swerve Out of control, we'll keep searching High and low for our heart and our soul <insert chorus here> Siting silent and still on top of a hill Through all the storms and chains I see you running Through all the mist and rain I see your heart glowing and pounding against the pain And if this is a sign Please show me the right way Up high or down below Somewhere the northern lights glow So maybe one day Something good will come our way Something good will come our way Something good will come and stay <chorus here> Still looking for that chorus...:thinking: The original chorus was I'm wishing away the pain and sorrow And hoping for a new tomorrow...but it sounds stupid. I really like that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Empily Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Oh sunlight rising in the eastern sky Can we escape from this world and fly . I like all of it but that bit :lol: I don't like the rhyme. Maybe "escape from this world and sigh?" I don't know :sad: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spider-Man Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 I really like that! Thanks! I appreciate the feedback. I like all of it but that bit :lol: I don't like the rhyme. Maybe "escape from this world and sigh?" I don't know :sad: Okay, I see what you mean. What you said makes sense. I'll look into it, thank you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alien Radio Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 I like all of it but that bit :lol: I don't like the rhyme. Maybe "escape from this world and sigh?" I don't know :sad: Yeah that'd be better, me thinks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollyxyloto Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Hi guys and gals!!! I'm watching live 2012 what you all up to? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taameen**sparks** Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Eating a panini ahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaxRide Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 PANINI AHHHHHH Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mollyxyloto Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 I I was standing You were there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taameen**sparks** Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 We actually got a panini maker lawl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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