During the last two and a half weeks of January, I started work on the fourth Rezzy Leon story that would become Lovey-Dovey Rezzy. During that same time frame of writing that story, I was sitting in front of the computer in my web technology class one day. I wrote another story within 15 minutes, titled "A Walk in the Park?". Since that was finished before Lovey-Dovey Rezzy, "A Walk in the Park?" became the third story, being published on January 28.

 

None to my surprise was "A Walk in the Park?" criticised, as it was written in one sitting and wasn't even planned for.

 

Lovey-Dovey Rezzy was the first story to where I wrote an outline for, only to focus on plot structure, and nothing more. While you still have the old, unrealistic Rezzy Leon, you'll notice something else, as well. I want you to find out what that "something else" is.

 

As for the plot itself, I don't consider this story to be a Valentine's Day special. I just don't see Rezzy in a love story, honestly. Anyways, Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I hope you'll enjoy volume 4 of this Rezzy Leon story.

 

 

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Lovey-Dovey Rezzy

By Anthony Romero

 

Chapter 1: “I’m Sorry About Your Patriots”

“No way! I’m telling you, man,” Tim exclaims as he applies ketchup to his burger. “Aaron Rodgers is a way better quarterback than Matt Schaub!” “I STRONGLY disagree with you on that, Tim!” argues Mylo as he opens his reduced-sugar chocolate milk. “I mean, look at it this way,” Tim continues, “Aaron has a Super Bowl ring and Schaub doesn’t.”

“Don’t even bring Super Bowl games into this!”

“No, no, no, I’m serious. It’s all about if you win a Super Bowl or not. That shows who’s better.”

“I don’t know, Tim. I’m pretty sure I’m among the millions of football fans that have to disagree with you on that.”

“We’ll see about tha… wait…,” Tim hesitated as he looked across the lunch table to find a silent Rezzy Leon seated. Tim then looked back at Mylo. “Mylo,” he goes on. “Have you noticed how Rezzy didn’t even bring up Tom Brady in this debate?” “Hm…,” Mylo hesitated. “I’m actually quite surprised about that. Usually he’d stand up and defend Tom Brady out of nowhere.”

 

“You know that I can hear you guys, right?” Rezzy finally spoke. Tim and Mylo then suddenly grew silent as the look on their faces grew to show a sign of concern. “Look, Rezzy,” Tim said, “I’m sorry about your Patriots. I know they didn’t make their way to the Super Bowl.” “What? No,” Rezzy continued. “That’s silly. It’s not even about the Patriots!”

 

“Oh… Well, what is it about, then?”

“Well… It’s rather quite hard to talk about.”

“Just talk about it in the best way you can. You know we’re here for you!” Mylo says in an attempt to encourage Rezzy.

“Okay, well, here it goes,” Rezzy says as he began to take a few deep breaths. “I don’t know what other way to say it, but Gary and I broke up.”

 

“I’m… so…,” Mylo hesitated, “I’m so sorry to hear that. I mean, there’s plenty of more fish out there, you know? I’m just sorry to hear about how you finally have an ex-boyfriend.” “MYLO!” Tim interrupted. “We’re trying to make him feel better, dammit! We’re not trying to make him feel all depressed and go into a phase of isolation!” “Sorry! Sheesh!” Mylo apologized. A few seconds of silence passed by them, as Mylo pulls out a worksheet out of his backpack. “I just remembered!” he exclaimed. “I need to go turn in this worksheet to Mrs. Cavitt before I forget. Anyone wants to come with me?” “I guess I’ll go,” Tim says as him and Mylo stands up and pushes their chairs in. Tim then looked at Rezzy. “Would you like to come with us?” Tim asked as he puts on his backpack. “Nah,” Rezzy moped. “You guys can go on without me.” “Can you at least meet Tim and I up in front of the school after school?” Mylo asked. “Eh, sure. I don’t see why not.” Rezzy said monotonously. “Alright then,” Tim said. “We’ll see catch you later.” “Wait,” Mylo said as he turns to Tim. “What about your burger? You didn’t even finish it!” Tim then looked at Mylo. “Man, fuck that burger! It was cold!” Mylo then just smirked while shaking his head as the two began walking, leaving Rezzy the only person sitting at the lunch table, alone.

 

“Hey!” someone said as Rezzy looked up. “Oh,” he relieved. “Hey there, Mary.” “How’s it going?” she responded.

“Terrible. Gary and I broke up.”

“Aw… I’m so sorry to hear that. In a way, I kind of knew it was going to happen.”

“You knew? How so?”

“Well, have you ever even taken notice of his behavior around you for the past few weeks? He even told me that he lost interest in you a few days ago.”

“Ah… Well, that… THAT BASTARD! I mean... Yeah… I’m bummed out about it. Oh well. Things happen. I can move on, I guess.”

“Just think positive and don’t let the things that you can’t control bother you!”

 

Just after she said that, the bell rung, as the two glanced at each other. A few seconds of silence passes by, forcing the two to feel awkward. “Which class are you going to right now?” Mary asked, breaking the silence. “Eh,” replied Rezzy. “I have to go to Mr. Whirly’s class.” “Ah, that sucks. I have to go to Mrs. Cavitt. She’s really nice!”

“Yeah, I met her one time. She really is nice.”

“Well,” Mary said softly in a very girly voice. “See you later, sailor!”

“EW! Why do you call me that, especially in that manner?! IT’S VERY CREEPY!”

 

Chapter 2: “Johnny Is High”

“All right, class!” Mr. Whirly said as he entered the class room, slamming the door behind him. “Get out your homework from yesterday and shut up so that we can get this shit out of the way! Let’s skip the eight easiest questions. Now, let’s look at number 9, because obviously, all of you are a bunch of fucking dumbasses, and you don’t know how to even solve this damn logarithm! Now, the question is log9x=2. How the hell do we solve for x?” Only a few select students raised their hands, including Tim and Rezzy. Mr. Whirly then looked around the room, wondering who to call on. “Yes, you,” he said, pointing to Tim, who is sitting in the first row. “Um…,” Tim hesitated. “Is it 81?”

 

Mr. Whirly then walked over to Tim’s desk, raising his right hand. “CORRECT!” he raised his voice, slapping Tim’s face very hard. Tim then fell out of his desk and onto the floor, crying out in pain. “Why the…,” he said with his hands over his face. “Why the hell did you do that?!” Just as Mr. Whirly was about to do something else, there was a knock on the door. He walked over and opened the door only to see Constable Amanda there. “Aw crap,” he thought.

 

“Good morning, Mr. Whirly!” she said, cheerfully. “How are we doing on this fine morning?” Mr. Whirly then looked down and noticed that a canine was just sitting there, accompanying Amanda, happily on a leash with his tongue out, wagging his tail. “Um…,” he said in a shaky voice. “Good morning to you, too, Constable Amanda. I’m doing fine.” Amanda then looked over Mr. Whirly’s shoulder, noticing that Tim is in pain, as he is still lying on the floor next to his desk. “Why is that student holding his face like someone slapped him?”

 

“Uh…, it’s not really that big of a deal, really. He’s just… uh… um… is having a bad hair day, I guess?”

“Uh huh…,” she said, sounding as if she wasn’t convinced. “Well, anyways, we have the drug dog here, and I’m going to have to ask of you to please have you and your students to just leave their jackets and belongings in the room as we have the dog search.”

 

“Oh!” Mr. Whirly relieved. “Okay! Sure.” He then walked back into the classroom. “Listen up, dumbasses! We have the drug dog here, so leave all of your jackets, purses, belongings, or anything of that nature, in this room.” The students then made their way out of the classroom, and waited out in the hallway. One student who was walking out looked at the dog and said “Man, it ain’t even a German Sheppard!” Constable Amanda gave the student a mean look, saying “Sir, this is not a joke!”

 

After everyone was situated in the hall, Amanda and the canine went into the room to search. About a few seconds after she went inside the room, the canine started to bark, breaking the silence as the barking echoes off of the walls. “Aw shit,” Johnny says silently to himself as he began to tense up. “I think they found my stuff…” The whole class, even Mr. Whirly himself, then turned to look at him in a manner to where you’ll be saying “Did he really just said that?”

 

Amanda and the canine then walked out of the room, as Amanda was wearing a glove in her right hand, holding a bag of marijuana. “Whose weed is this? I found it in a black leather jacket.” she said, trying to maintain her cool. “It’s mine,” Johnny said as he began to pace around nervously. Amanda then glanced at Johnny, and then at Tim, and then back again at Johnny. “Wait a minute…” she paused. She then pointed to Tim, saying “I know how this happened! He’s injured all because he didn’t supply the money for you to sell this weed to him, therefore, you slapped him!” “Damn right!” Mr. Whirly said as he fist pumped. “This is an outrage!” Tim yelled. “Are you going to believe HIM?! It was the teacher who slapped me! Not Johnny Bag-of-Weed!” “I’m a constable,” Amanda said. “We believe anything the teachers say.” Rezzy then shook his head. “It really wasn’t Johnny who slapped Tim!” he said in an attempt to defend Tim.

 

Amanda then turns to look at Rezzy. “Listen,” she said, “I know you’re trying to stand up for a friend and all, but you weren’t involved at all. Stay out of it.” She then looked at Johnny and Tim, pointing at the two. “Both of you,” she said. “Come with me." “This day cannot just get any worse,” Rezzy pouted as Amanda, Tim and Johnny began to walk away.

 

Chapter 3: “Let’s See Exhibit A”

As Tim and Johnny approached the constable’s office, Amanda unlocked the door and opened it. After the three entered the office, Amanda then slammed the door. She then sat down at her desk, and across from where she was sitting were two chairs. Coincidence? I think not! Tim and Johnny then sat down and occupied the two chairs. “Let me see both of your IDs so that I can run you guys through the system,” Amanda says as she logs into her computer. The two then gave her their IDs as she began to type in their names. “Tim… Desmond…,” she said to herself as she typed it. “And... Johnny… Astro…” As soon as she was done, she gave the two their IDs back.

 

“Okay,” she continued. “I’m about to ask you guys some questions. Do not speak unless spoken to, and when spoken to, I want to hear nothing but truth from you. Do I make myself clear?” “Yes ma’am,” the two replied in unison. She then looked at Tim. “Tim,” she said. “I want you to go into detail about the situation with the weed.” “Okay,” Tim calmly replied. “First of all,” he continued. “I wasn’t even involved with Johnny. Mr. Whirly really did slap me! You can even ask Rezzy! He was telling you the truth!” Johnny was just sitting there silently nodding his head in agreement, supporting Tim. Amanda then shook her head. “Bullshit,” she retorted. “You students tell more lies than a Wal-Mart advertisement on a Tuesday morning! I believe that Johnny slapped you all because you failed to pay him for the weed, in which, he supplied for you.” “This is so stupid,” Johnny sighed, shaking his head. Just as Amanda was about to respond, the school fire alarm suddenly sounds off. “You have got to be juggling my jellybeans,” she complained. “Both of you,” she sighed. “Come with me, and let’s evacuate the building together, and don’t pull anything funny and try to run off and disappear on me either!”

 

Chapter 4: “On a cold, windy day…”

In the parking lot behind the school, Tim, Johnny, and Constable Amanda were standing there, oddly enough, behind a parked constable car. Johnny was so nervous; he was shaking like a leaf. Amanda and Tim thought that he was just shaking because of the cold, cloudy and windy conditions of the weather. As Amanda was stretching, she then got a call on that portable radio-walkie-talkie thing that cops and constables wear. What was that thing called again? I forget. Anyways, I digress.

“This is Hot Dog, here, reporting,” the voice on the radio said. “Cookie Monster, are you there?” “This is Cookie Monster here,” Amanda replies. “What’s the emergency?”

“We have a report claiming that a teacher slapped a student because the student suggested that the class should evacuate for the fire drill, but the teacher demanded everyone to stay.”

“So what you’re telling me is that a teacher is basically holding his class hostage?”

“Correct, Cookie Monster. It’s in room 604.”

“Unbelievable. I’ll be there ASAP.”

 

Amanda then turned her attention back to Tim and Johnny. “Look,” she said, “I know I’m going to regret saying this very much, but I have to take this call. Apparently it’s more important than questioning a drug-possessing kid like you, Johnny. I’m afraid I’ll have to let the two of you go.” “YES!” Johnny cheered. “Hey! Idiot, calm down! Don’t make it sound like you found out that you’re not the father of a child on the Maury show!” Amanda raised her voice, then rushing off into the building afterwards. Tim and Johnny just looked at each other, both wondering if it was Mr. Whirly who slapped another student, and if so, who was it he slapped.

 

Chapter 5: “Education First, Love Last”

After the whole shebang, Rezzy, Tim and Mylo met up in front of the school after school, as the three had planned earlier in the day. “So,” Rezzy said. “Today was pretty interesting, huh?” Tim and Mylo nodded their heads, as Tim says “I agree.” “Did Constable Amanda even do anything to you or Johnny after she took you both to her office earlier today?”

 

“Um… Nothing drastic that I know of. She was about to question us, but then the fire drill went off, and then she got a call about some teacher slapping a student, holding a class hostage… yeah.”

“I bet it was Mr. Whirly who did it!” Mylo said.

“Eh, we’ll find out soon enough,” Rezzy replied. “I wouldn’t be surprised if it was really him.

 

“HEY SAILOR!” Mary yelled behind Rezzy in that very feminine voice of hers. “WHY DO YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT?!” Rezzy cringed. “IT’S VERY CREEPY!” Mary shook her head, saying “Not really. Creepy is stalking.” “OH!” Tim interrupted. “I just remembered that, um… Mylo and I, uh… We both have to go to the library to finish our research for a project in Mrs. Cavitt’s class, right Mylo?” Mylo hesitated. “Um… Yeah! Right! We’ll just leave, um… You two alone… yeah… alone…”

 

As Mylo and Tim left, Rezzy and Mary was just standing there, looking at each other. “So…,” mumbled Rezzy. “Interesting day, huh?” “Yup,” Mary said. “Very…” Afterwards, a few seconds of silence grew in between them. “So,” Mary said, as she broke the silence. “Um… Do you, erm… want to possibly maybe, um… go to prom with me?”

“Hm…,” Rezzy paused. “I, um… You… Good friend? Ah… yes.”

“Yay!” Mary cheered, hugging Rezzy. “BUT,” Rezzy continued. “Just know that we’re only going as friends… nothing else.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” she replied, as the two then saw Mr. Whirly exiting the school building shouting obscenities, as he was in handcuffs, being escorted by Amanda to the constable car.

“I TOLD THEM THAT IF THE STUDENTS WERE GOING TO BURN ALIVE, THEY’D BURN WHILE THEY WERE LEARNING!” he shouted. “EDUCATION FIRST, DAMMIT! EDUCATION!”

 

© Anthony Romero, 2013

I feel bad that no one's commented on this in two days, so I'll try and give you feedback.

 

• Remember to watch your tenses. They slip a lot early on.
  
• Don't use adverbs like monotonously. Seriously, they're just not needed.
  
• Why say canine when you can say dog? Or do you use the word "canine" in your part of the world? I don't know.
  
• Maybe set the scene a little bit more.
  
• Maybe write a little bit more succinctly. What happened in five chapters - I'd ditch chapters too, but that's just me - could probably be said in one or two at the most, but it feels like it's being stretched out a lot.
  
• Some of the characters like Mary work well because they're realistic and you can picture them. Mr Whirly seems like an unrealistic caricature of a man with no motive to properly slap a kid round the face, and Mylo and Tim seem a bit... undeveloped. Maybe base characters on people you know. Give them traits. If they're there as plot devices, give them a reason to be there.
  

 

Finally, I'll say that the dialogue is very naturally flowing, and it's probably your main strength, which is good. Maybe try writing a tv/film script or something, and that'll play to your strengths, but work on the other things I've pointed out; at the moment, your stories are alright, but they could be great if you really work on your writing.

 

A great writer can write about a mark on the wall and make it compelling and brilliant. It's all about how you write, not what you write.

I feel bad that no one's commented on this in two days, so I'll try and give you feedback.

 

• Why say canine when you can say dog? Or do you use the word "canine" in your part of the world? I don't know.
  

 

I use "canine" instead of dog mainly because that "canine" is a more formal word to use, that is, when talking about a dog the police force uses. In other words, we still say "dog" in my part of the world, but I mainly hear "canine" whenever the police or constables refer to it.

 

Also, thanks for the feedback. :)

I read this whole thing yesterday, and then realised I've already read it, and now, despite reading it a day ago, can't remember what it's about. That isn't a good thing.

 

I'm not going to go through constructive criticisms because you might focus on the most irrelevant point like whether they're called dogs or canines.

Walkie talkie thingy that constables wear, that part was good. ;) You'll make a great skit writer for SNL.

Walkie talkie thingy that constables wear, that part was good. ;) You'll make a great skit writer for SNL.

 

Which is why I said script-writing is probably a better form to write in, for now.