Note: The following is meant to be a loving parody and is no way meant to be taken as negative or mean spirited.

 

NEW! JUST IN TIME FOR YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING!

 

It’s the Chris Martin Chorus Generator!

 

Are you tired of clunky words getting in the way of singing along to your favorite songs?

 

R.E.M.’s Losing My religion Plays...

 

“That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight… losing my religion…”

 

IT’S JUST TOO MANY WORDS!!!

 

Well you don’t have to worry about that anymore! Just download your favorite songs into the Chris Martin Chorus Generator and it will translate all that exhausting language into a much more manageable series of whoas oh ohhhs!

 

Check it out! Let’s put Queen’s classic tongue twister We Are the Champions into the machine and see what happens…

 

“We are the champions my friend and we’ll keep on fighting till the end….”

 

*boop, deep, boop, doop*

 

“Whoooa oh whoooa ohh oh ohh, oh whoooa oh whooa whoa whoa whoa…”

 

SO MUCH BETTER! Now ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!

 

All You Need Is Love? All you need is whoa!

 

*boop, deep, boop, doop*

 

“Ohhh ohh oh oh woah. Ohhh ohh oh oh woah. Ohhh ohh oh oh woah woah. Woah oh oh oh ohhh.”

 

Now my 97 year old grandma and my 2 year old nephew can sing along! Thanks Chris Martin Chorus Generator!

 

And remember no song is too simple for the Chris Martin Chorus Generator!

 

“Row row row your boat gently down the stream…”

 

*boop, deep, boop, doop*

 

“Whoa whoa whoa whoa waho ohh whoa whoa whoa whoaaa….”

 

AMAZING!

 

Don’t take it from us… listen to these satisfied customers…

 

“I got into 17 car accidents while singing along to my favorite music while driving. It was just too hard to pay attention to words and the road at the same time. Not anymore! Thanks Chris Martin Chorus Generator!”

-Becky Smith, New York

 

"me cave man. me hard time sing Yellow. me easy time sing Paradise. me use magic box. thanks magic box!"

-Oog, Toronto

 

“before when I was singing a chorus I had to stand relatively still but with the Chris Martin Chorus Generator I can now jump up and down, run all over the place, do yoga on stage, sometimes I just lay down on my back for a while… it’ great!”

-Chris Martin, London

 

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR! ACT NOW AND WE WILL INCLUDE THE JONNY BUCLKAND GUITAR SOLO TRANSLATOR THAT TURNS ALL OF YOU GUITAR SOLOS INTO A SERIES Of SINGLE NOTES ABSOLUTELY FREE! ACT NOW!!!

 

Warning: The Chris Martin Chorus Generator may result in reduced ratings from professional critics. Do not use the Chris Martin Chorus Generator on pre Viva la Vida Coldplay albums.

sad how the coldplaying community is sometimes used as just another instance of the general coldplay hate you can find anywhere else on the internet. i don't come here for that.

 

a lot of people are saying how coldplay's changing styles made quite a few members leave the forum since viva, but what no one seems to mention is how certain posts can turn off fans, specially those who are more recent converts, from contributing or even hanging around here. i'm sure i'm guilty of such posts too. but just a thought.

sad how the coldplaying community is sometimes used as just another instance of the general coldplay hate you can find anywhere else on the internet. i don't come here for that.

 

a lot of people are saying how coldplay's changing styles made quite a few members leave the forum since viva, but what no one seems to mention is how certain posts can turn off fans, specially those who are more recent converts, from contributing or even hanging around here. i'm sure i'm guilty of such posts too. but just a thought.

 

This was made with the greatest amount of love I have for the band. That is why it is a parody. Trust me I have been looking on this board almost every day for almost 12 years and i don't have any hate for the band at all or wish to spread any hate. i am counting down the days to AHFOD and my other posts have been supportive of it. it is clearly a loving poke from someone who loves the band making light of the very same silly criticisms your speaking of.

This was made with the greatest amount of love I have for the band. That is why it is a parody. Trust me I have been looking on this board almost every day for almost 12 years and i don't have any hate for the band at all or wish to spread any hate. i am counting down the days to AHFOD and my other posts have been supportive of it. it is clearly a loving poke from someone who loves the band making light of the very same silly criticisms your speaking of.

 

ahhh :) thanks for the clarification! i'm glad to hear that! sorry about the misunderstanding. sometimes it is hard to differentiate on text.

I lol'ed. :lol:

Ah ha ha ha! It's a shame because we all love singing along to the words of The Scientist and Yellow when they play live....so no need for them!

 

 

But.....leave Jonny out of this!

ahhh :) thanks for the clarification! i'm glad to hear that! sorry about the misunderstanding. sometimes it is hard to differentiate on text.

 

While I get this thread was made as a joke, a joke that created a chuckle out of me, I do get what you mean though. It definitely seems the criticisms are out numbering the praise for the past 2-3 eras. Don't get me wrong, I don't expect or even want everyone to love absolutely everything the band does. But what I do expect is for at least a majority of the forum to like the material and decisions the band makes, and i'm not seeing that. I'm not seeing it because perhaps the more positive crowd just aren't speaking up enough.

 

With that aside, I did really enjoy OP's chorus generator machine. Where can I get one? lol

“before when I was singing a chorus I had to stand relatively still but with the Chris Martin Chorus Generator I can now jump up and down, run all over the place, do yoga on stage, sometimes I just lay down on my back for a while… it’ great!”

-Chris Martin, London

 

This is what really made me laugh...

The most hilarious part of that was that I read everything in that damn SHAMWOW voice! :laugh3:

 

I love this ahahHA

Kudos for getting a smile out of me on this one, heheh.