Violet

WE LIKE SPORTZ AND WE DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS. FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL, FOOTBALL, TENNIS, HOCKEY, GOLF.

"Angles"-The Strokes

Amy Winehouse

"Always Happens Like That"-Kaiser Chiefs

Lykke Li

"Youth"-The Crookes

1. "Ras Trent"-The Lonely Island 2. "Here and Now"-Jehro 3. "I Sing I Swim"-Seabear 4. "Comforting Sounds"-Mew 5. "Wonderful Life"-Hurts 6. "Stylo (feat. Bobby Womack and Mos Def)"-Gorillaz 7. "This Is the Life"-Two Door Cinema Club 8. "Lose the Plot"-Mesita 9. "Darling Alistair"-Little Comets 10. "Go Slowly"-Radiohead

Yes, that's precisely what I'm talking about. I mean, there's Elbow. FRICKIN' ELBOW. I wanna hear Guy Garvey's angelic husky tenor, dammit. :(

O HAI GUIZE. So, after I left the comfort of the Internet and went to my room, I just lost it. It was gross. YEAH CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP AT NIGHT. :| I don't really know how I feel right now. My morning walk/jog turned out to be a failure, so I'm not necessarily in the best of moods, but I guess I'm kinda sorta better than I was last night.

I can't do this anymore, guys. I'm going to bed. I should have known I would end up like this. I'm really sorry you all publically had to witness me having an existential crisis, and I'm really sorry for the swearing; I only do that when I'm really really upset about something (which, if it was not made obvious by now, I am). I know it really didn't sound like it from how I was talking, but I do appreciate the tidbits that you guys are giving me. It gives me a little solace knowing that there are at least people out there who care about my well-being.

Oh, but I have been rejected. Numerous times. :|

Nope, too late. Tranquility has left the building. I don't think you understand. I don't do things for myself. I don't want anything, dammit. I just want other people to be happy. I'm secondary. I'm perfectly OK with that. I'm fine with putting things before myself, and I know when to take time for me. I have a lot of goals set for this summer, and dammit, I plan to meet them. I'm trying really really hard to explain that it's not really what you think it is, but apparently I suck at that, too. It's not that I'm not happy with myself. I just have times like this where I get all caught up in my thoughts, and bad things happen. It's a very bad habit I have, and I shouldn't do it, but hey, it happens. I don't even know where to go from here. Maybe I shouldn't. All it's doing is confusing everything for me and making me feel more hopeless by the minute.

Chile is too far awaaaaay. :bigcry:

I think I just realized what my problem is. I don't know how to function like a normal human being. At all. It seems that my whole lifestyle is completely wrong. My attempt at trying not to cry this whole time has now failed. All I want at this point is a hug and a pint of ice cream, and I can't have either. FUCK ME.

That's easier said than done. It's not that I haven't accepted myself. I just don't know what to do now. You guys are telling me to do what I want, but honestly, I don't really want a whole lot. It's a whole lot easier for me to do things for other people than it is to do things for myself. I have my things that I do for myself, but nothing really extreme, y'know.

I never said you said I was ugly. That's just something that I have learned to accept. People have told me that I shouldn't say that about myself, but really, I'm not gonna lie to myself and say that I'm physically attractive. Actually, I remember once telling someone, "Hey, it's OK that I'm ugly, because without ugly people, you wouldn't be able to have pretty people." Like I said, I'm kinda messed up. :|

Coming to me? Hell, that shit only works for pretty people. I'm not exactly the person people are going to look at and say, "Hey, I totally want to date her." People tend to think I'm too weird. Some of my closest friends even admitted to me they thought I was weird initially. :disappointed: God, I don't even know what to think anymore. I know you guys are telling me stuff, and I really appreciate that, but I've somehow got myself stuck in a rut. SOMEONE FIX IT.

See, I KNEW I was ugly. :bigcry:

See, this is what I don't get. People are always telling me, "Violet, you're such a beautiful person, you'll find someone." Well, why haven't I found someone, then, if I'm so great? I don't even know. It's not like I'm not trying. Trust me, I have. It just never does anything. For the most part, I get politely rejected by the party involved, and they even tell me that I'm a nice person, but I'm just not right or something else. I'm just like, "What am I doing wrong?" I really shouldn't complain about this. I should worry about school. I have a year left before I graduate with my undergrad degree. It's not a good idea to start something now. It's just that for whatever reason, this is something I've always wanted, but never really had the opportunity to have, and at times like this, I get really bummed about it. WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF? :bigcry:

Awww, shit, I'm about to start crying. I don't even know what for, given how nice everyone is being. FUCK. I think I'm going to go do my weight work now. Maybe that will help.

"Fjarskanistan"-Amiina

"I Heard Love Is Blind"-Amy Winehouse

No, but they live on iTunes. I'm still waiting on that album they were supposed to release some time ago. HMPH. Manchester Orchestra

From you, in the "Music Other People Might Like" thread. :blush: Manchester Orchestra

Yeasayer