Jonny and the cake

17 June 2014 / submitted by Andrea, United Kingdom Q. Hi Dear Oracle, Well My question is why in the booklet of Ghost Stories said : All Songs Berryman, Buckland, Champion, Martin* why Chris has a * ? Thank you so much. THE ORACLE REPLIES > It's not specifically Chris who has a *. It's after the band. When you see an * it usually means there's a footnote. You have to look further down to find another * explaining what the first * means. In this case the * denotes that the songs are written by the band and the * pertains to the publishing. If you look at the credits, further down the sleeve the * explains additional publishing / writer credits. 17 June 2014 / submitted by Gabby, United States of America Q. Hey O, Before they sang Oceans at Glasgow Chris said something. I heard this is for all the people who lost their art at Glasgow? Could you explain what he said? Thanks!! THE ORACLE REPLIES > The day before Coldplay performed at Radio 1's Big Weekend (23 May), a fire at the Glasgow School of Art destroyed part of the Mackintosh building. Firefighters managed to salvage about 70% of the contents but many students lost a lot of work.

16 June 2014 / submitted by Natalia, Mexico Q. Hi there! Today is the Father's Day here in my country, but I want to know: There is a Father's Day in England? P.S: Happy Father's Day for you all and Go England team!! :) Gracias! THE ORACLE REPLIES > Yes, Father's Day in the UK is the same as there in Mexico. The band are in Sydney though. England next play on Thursday which is also when the band next play. That will be a very long night with an early start the next day to watch the match. Well done to Mexico winning their first game. C'mon England! 16 June 2014 / submitted by Donny, Canada Q. When is the new video clip for A Sky Full of Stars coming out? THE ORACLE REPLIES > It's not been filmed yet. Phil tweeted earlier announcing that the video will be shot in Sydney tomorrow (Tue 17 June) and invited people to be in it. Keep your eyes peeled for further information. UPDATE: Here are the details you need if you want to be in the video. 16 June 2014 / submitted by Claudio, Italy Q. Hello mighty Oracle! I've read once that Coldplay uploaded (in 2008) a video from one of their first concerts as Starfish: is it possible to see this video somewhere? Thanks! THE ORACLE REPLIES > That's not actually accurate - it was audio. As far as I am aware, there is no video footage of that Laurel Tree gig. 16 June 2014 / submitted by Alex, Canada Q. Have you ever met someone that mentioned they were a big Coldplay fan before they found out you actually worked for them? THE ORACLE REPLIES > Yes. It's happened more than once. There was one particular time I met a young chap who was such a HUGE fan and unknowingly lived near the band's studio. I often thought, 'if only he knew'... I also meet people who tell me they don't like the band before they know I work with them. I'm quicker to put them straight ;-)

13 June 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE? As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply. ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to [email protected] before midnight Thursday 20 June. I would just like to ask a question about something. So, I am Leandro, 18 years of age, and I've been having problems lately. Well, family wise, we're all fine. But, love... love's just... I don't know... tormenting. Anyway, here's the question, do you think people deserve a second chance? I have sinned, yes. I cheated on someone. I failed to keep promises. I just can't believe that I, myself, was able to pull that off, and I regret whatever I've done with all of my heart. But then whenever it's time for me to move on, and find someone to love, why is it that this feeling of guilt? This very feeling from the start of my road down to hell... Why do I always feel it? Why does it pull me down all of the time? I don't know what to do. Have I forgiven myself as well? I can't answer all of this. Leandro, Philippines Look forward to seeing your replies. The Oracle. THE ORACLE REPLIES > Please email your replies to [email protected] Including your twitter address may result in a follow back. 13 June 2014 / submitted by Trina, Spain Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #172 My husband and I are from two different countries. When we got married we chose to stay in his birth country because it would be easier for him to obtain a job. We love each other and are soul mates. Though, everyday is misery for me living in another continent and country. I feel homesick and get depressed easily. I'm struggling to learn the language and to get a job. I feel like an alien with no life here. I have made friends but I continue to feel this emptiness inside, torn and confused. I love my husband so much but living here is so difficult for me. I keep believing I'm just on an horrible vacation that's going to end soon but that's far from the reality. Is it normal to feel like this? Will I ever be able to accept that this is going to be my life forever?? Of course true love is about sacrificing your happiness for the people you love - I'm doing it, but I feel like I'm dying everyday. Help. THE ORACLE REPLIES > It's obvious from your words how unhappy you are and I feel your pain. I don't know how long you have been married so I don't know whether to venture that it will probably get easier with time - once you have mastered the language and found a job. I also don't know what your country of origin is but maybe you should find if there are other people from your country in your area or jobs that require your language to be spoken. If not, your independence is going to be important to you while trying to forge a life for yourself. You've made some friends but perhaps you now need to join a Spanish class or meet other people in a similar situation to you. You won't be the only foreigner in the country so seek them out. Find things you like and enjoy - spend time doing them. Make sure you keep in regular contact with your family & friends back home. Try not to dwell on the sadness, but the joy at speaking with them. If you think your depression is a medical issue for concern, do visit a doctor. Finally, who said true love is about sacrificing your happiness for the people you love? How about it being two people working out a mutual compromise for each other?! Marriage is a partnership, a team, a couple - it's not about ONE person and what is best for them. You must talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Consider options for the future as there may be a solution you haven't discussed yet. Good luck, Trina. Over to you. My Mum moved abroad with my father when she was in her fifties. At first she felt completely lost, like you she struggled with a new language and culture and felt she'd never adjust. She also felt very homesick and guilty that she'd left me behind. However over time she began to find her feet, she actively searched out other women from her home country especially those in a similar situation. Through them she found employment, a social life and learned a lot about her new home and how to deal with the changes in lifestyle she had to make. We stayed in close touch by phone and email and she gradually accepted I could manage on my own. I advise you to try to do the same if you haven't already. There are bound to be people from your own country who have felt exactly as you do now, there must be clubs or online groups you could join. As for feeling homesick, if you are missing family and friends make use of modern technology and use Skype regularly to reconnect with them. I don't know how long you've been away but try to give yourself time to acclimatise, it won't happen over night. Stay as busy as you can and try to remember why you moved out there in the first place. Best wishes to you for the future. Tanya. I was so moved by your post. I, myself, had to leave my country two years ago. It was for a different reason, though (studies). I must say that I felt the same way at first. The first day here, I woke up with tears in my eyes. I felt like I'm abandoned and alone. It was hard - but here is how I managed to start enjoying life in here. First, I believe you have to go back to your country very often (like on holidays), it really helps when you know you'll be home soon and you'll share some of your memories with your husband. Then, I started opening to people and I made friends. I used to tell myself that real friends are the ones in my country... this might be right, but it doesn't mean you can't have new great friends. Also, I have to say that you're very lucky to have the one you love beside you. When I first moved here, I would dream of having someone to stand by me, someone to hold me when I'm down... I believe finding love will make it easier for you. Just remember, wherever you're going with the one you love, you're already home. One last tip: listen to Coldplay a lot, it just makes everything easier and "I have no doubt, one day the sun will come out" (Lovers in Japan). Saad, Morocco. Living in another country is hard at the start. I've seen more people like you who came over here, to the Netherlands. First of all, it would be wise to choose between these things to set your primary goal: the language or a job. When you go for the language, it will be easier to find a job which fits to you, and making friends and contacts will also be easier. When you choose the job, you'll also make friends, don't worry, and your language will follow as well. When you use another language a lot, you will learn it easier. But without the language, finding a fitting job will be harder. When you made your choice, you must go for it. Let me give you a last advice: stand open towards other people. Most people want to help fitting in the society. Good luck, Isabelle. First of all, you are a very strong and selfless person for doing this for your husband. Hopefully he expresses his gratitude for you if he notices your struggling. My personal belief is that a marriage can't thrive unless you work as a team. Would it be better if you tried to work with your husband at learning the language, or even taking classes? There's a lot of fun ways to learn a new language. Try to keep things positive and learning will come very easy. Another great way to learn a language is to live in a country where it's spoken every day - so you already have that advantage. Just never, never give up. Everything improves upon practice. With learning the new language, a job will also come in time. It's something you'll have to work at tremendously, also depending on what field you want to work in. Say you want to work in the tech department. In that instance, learn vocabulary in terms of computers and machines and such. Again, never give up. That's the equivalent of betting against yourself. Lastly, it's hard living away from your family and not seeing them regularly. Try keeping in touch as often as possible. Let them know how you're doing, and ask them questions. Keep up with Skype, texting, phone calls, etc. Communicate at least once per day. Send packages in the mail. It will get easier. I promise. But you can't submit to your doubt and worry. Don't give up! Everly. Be Brave. Eyes on the horizon. "...Two wholes when they coincide, That is beauty, that is love." - Lillian Darr True love is about building happiness together. The sacrifice part should be on an as-needed basis, not necessarily continuously and interminably (from either member). Perhaps a different perspective, such as a trip home for a couple of weeks, would help you see what you are homesick for when you are in your mate's birth country. If staying in your husband's home country is the right thing for both of you, you may want to seek out and surround yourself with living 'elements of home' that you can put together. For example, if you had a friendly elderly lady as a neighbor at home, volunteer at a senior center. Find a place that reminds you of home to take a time-out in. Regardless of the language barrier, exploring kindness in other human beings is imperative. When you notice a warm feeling from someone, seek it again and follow up on it; ask to have tea or coffee with the checkout woman at a grocery store you've been going to regularly, for example. Create some memories to start your life, embrace your new place of living...or, find the place and/or career in which you are be happy to reside, establish yourself there, and let your husband join you when he is able. Also, for depression, check into adaptogenic, herbs such as Rhodiola Rosea and Gotu Kola, supplements of Omega 3-6-9 and sunshine. Tristin. Sorry you are not happy. It must be very hard to live in a new country especially when you don't know the language, and I am sure you are not alone in your struggle. If you really have found your soul mate though, you are very lucky to be together as I feel this is rare. If he really does love you, as I'm sure he does, then you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel When you spend your life together with someone, there has to be some balance and mutual agreement on the big decisions in life as far as possible, so that you are both happy. I am sure your happiness matters a great deal to him, so perhaps there is something he can do. Perhaps a visit back home, or a trial stay there. True love is not one sided, and sometimes means some sacrifice from both persons. On the other hand, maybe you need to give it some time to settle down there. Feelings and concerns can change a great deal over time and you may come to love it someday! Best wishes, D. You are in a really difficult situation. My first advise: Listen to your heart! Is this what you really want? The second advise: Have you been away from each other for a longer period? Maybe you should try and after that decide if a life with your husband is worth all sacrifices. The third advise: ask yourself, what is your biggest dream? Maybe you should study instead of getting a job? Do you like to write or/and take photos? Maybe you should get a blog. This could be the start to get in contact with other people in the same situation. My last advise: Ask your husband. Would he do the same thing for you? If the answer is yes, you should move back to your country for one year and see how things solves. Maybe your husband gets a good job and then you both ends up happy :-) The answer is in your heart. I wish you good luck! Love, Ann-Sofie, Sweden. I really feel for you. It must be so lonely to be in this situation. I'm assuming that your husband has a job and is gaining experience in his chosen field. Could it be that he has enough experience to be able to get a similar position but maybe in another country? Life is all about compromises and it works both ways, it sounds as though you've made a lot of compromises and it's not unreasonable for you to explore the possibilities of your husband compromising for you. If it's too difficult to move back to your home country, is there a middle ground you can reach? Somewhere you'd both be happy? As for getting a job yourself, we live in times where the world is incredibly small and global opportunities exist that mean you can work from anywhere providing you have a computer and a good internet connection! Ruth, UK. First of all, I think what a great thing you have done, to be able sacrificing your own life in order to get a better life with your husband, that's what a beautiful thing about marriage is. I believe when you enter a marriage, you begin with one which is yourself, but ends with one which are you and your husband. My parents had the same problem with culture differences, moved to another city with a completely different culture and custom which is sacred in our country. But they always managed to get through whatever came in their way. The key is to never keep it to yourself, always share it with your partner. It is normal to feel like an alien in a different world, that's natural. But to accept the life you will live forever with feelings like that? It's gonna be hard thing to do. True love for me is not sacrificing your life for your loved one, it is about sharing the same feeling, experiencing troubles and happiness together, and find a way to work as a partner for life. You have to let him know what you feel all this time, that you don't feel same way as he does. Work the way out as a partner for both of your happiness, not just for one of you, and keep supporting each other. When you and him finally share the same misery and happiness, that's true love. Lavina, Indonesia Vacation is a temporary situation. Seems you are actually living there. So live! Am not kidding about this or ridiculing you. Not at all. I lived abroad for three years, have been here for over fifteen years and my husband has been asked to transfer to head office which means a transatlantic move for all four of us in about a year. I don't want to leave my friends and family and uproot our kids but also know we'll be fine. This is how I look at it. Get a large piece of paper and colourful crayons. Draw a big mindmap of all things that make you happy, energize you. And work from there. In my case it's having fun with other people, enjoying pretty or tasty things, happy boys, feeling fit. In my case this works out in joining some group of people (work, volunteer, committee), indulge myself in (or try to create) art and good food, get involved in a soft landing for our boys and join a gym. For me it's important to be in expressive activities, as I do recognise the emptiness and feelings of being far away from all that is dear. Sitting at home does that. So. Go. Out. Meet. People. Laugh. Paint. Sing. Dance. Life is for living! Love, Dorine, The Netherlands. I heard someone say short sayings last through the ages because they are profound, and the one that comes to mind:"Home is Where the Heart Is". I have a sister that moved to the mid-west 25 years ago when she got married, and she has been home maybe 5 times within that time frame. However, I hear two possible scenarios from your description that could be masking as homesickness for you to consider. Is it the transition of learning new skills that is making life so difficult? When I first went to undergrad, I was miserable. It was a cultural shock, and I was depressed and wanted to quit. I can't imagine what my life would be like if I had not weathered the transition. My environment required me to learn new skills, but I did not have to become another person which leads me to my second point. Home may be the last place that you felt like yourself which could be what you are really longing for. Isolation with minimal adult contact is enough to make anybody feel depressed, but forcing yourself to accept this as your life will turn what was once love into resentment. This can be especially difficult when you lack the financial ability to return home for any respite/ reflection. I urge you to volunteer or start/join a group with other women transitioning into the culture until you can figure out what's best for you. Be Well, Trina. DH Normally I'd say homesickness tends to pass, though it might never go away completely, but that rule doesn't apply to everyone. I don't know how long you've been living there, but if you're feeling miserable and things aren't getting any better, I suggest you talk to your husband about this matter. Maybe he can find a job in your home country too and wouldn't mind moving there? Or maybe you can visit your country more often? True love isn't about completely sacrificing all of your happiness, its also about compromises. Both of you will have to give things up and I'm sure discussing these feelings with your husband won't make him love you any less. Good luck! Amanda. Trina, my heart is with you. 11 years ago, I also ventured away from my homeland in the States to accompany my husband to his homeland of Indonesia. With a 5-month old baby and nothing familiar, it was the most challenging thing I've ever experienced. I lost myself in the loneliness and isolation. My marriage did not survive, yet my son and I stayed in the country for 10 years. Please know that what you are feeling is very normal. It's like being uprooted. Part of you is still in the place you left and part of you is where you are now. It takes time to find our place in a new land. We often think that love requires great sacrifice. Often with sacrifice comes resentment a breeding ground for toxicity. The most beautiful expression of love is to be honest with yourself, listen to your truth, and share that truth with the ones you love. When we sacrifice our happiness for others, we're not giving them the fullness of who we are. Allow yourself to feel the feelings that arise with this. Share with your husband and reach out to other expats. There is always a hidden gem in the most challenging situations. I am so grateful for my decade on "the other side of the world." I uncovered things about myself that I never would have if I didn't experience what I did abroad. There is beauty even in the pain of it all. Sending you love. Alia, USA. *Alia also sent a link. I'm in a very similar situation and it's been hard. We had to move because of my husband's job and have been here for four years. We moved from my "soul" country... the place that I love and dream of and want to be forever. When we found out that we would be moving away from everything I love I was devastated. There are times in our lives when we have to make sacrifices, especially for people we love. It may sound harsh but the only way you can and will be even remotely happy over there is by deciding to be happy. Nobody can change things for you. You have to dig deep and find the strength to make it through. If that is too overwhelming and you just can't help yourself then you should go talk to a professional, like a doctor. You also need to do things for other people... get your mind off of you and your situation. I have learned that I won't find another best friend in my new city but I have some pretty amazing friends there that I have learned to be so grateful for. You will always have those times of despair and depression. Don't push those feelings away but at the same time don't let those feelings determine the direction of your life. You have the strength to push through this. You can do it. You've got to try. If you never try you'll never know just what your worth. Carrie. While I have never moved to a different country, I can deeply relate to how you are feeling because seven years ago, I moved from one state to another. My family and I moved nearly 15 hours away from my old home, far away from everything I knew and loved. The sea and the forests, a major part of my life, vanished into thin air and I was trapped in this new place that appeared to have nothing going for it. I hated this new place and convinced myself that I would never be happy where I lived now. I felt depressed and torn, and my relocation and the culture shock haunted me for months, even years. And then, suddenly, without me even realizing it, I began to get used to my surroundings and even like them. The constant pang of homesickness happened less and less until it only arose here and there. I made friends, friends I wouldn't trade for the world. I had opportunities here that I would have never had where I used to live. In the end, it all turned out, and while I still get homesick sometimes, it's never as bad as it used to be. Give it time, Trina, and I promise it will get better. It feels miserable at first, but everything improves. Remember, too, that your happiness is just as important as your husband's. Talk to him about how you feel. Be happy, Trina. You've got so much life up ahead. Brooke. Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

12 June 2014 / submitted by Derek, United States of America Q. Will the band ever play the song AROBTTH again? It seems like it hasn't been played live since 2003. Is there any reason for that? THE ORACLE REPLIES > There's no reason it won't make another appearance but it hasn't been played live for a while. Not as long ago as you think though. It was played substantially during 2005 and the last time it was performed was 2007. 12 June 2014 / submitted by Sue, United States of America Q. When MX was out, I read that the band had enough songs left over for another album. Are any of those songs on Ghost Stories? If not, what happens to them? THE ORACLE REPLIES > No. I'm pretty sure that none of Coldplay's albums feature a left over track from a previous album. They may write a new song on the road and perform it but the song rarely makes the next record - Gravity, Ladder to the Sun, Spanish Rain / Don Quixote, Wedding Bells etc. One obvious exception is In My Place that was written while touring Parachutes and ended up on AROBTTH. Songs aren't thrown away per se and there will be demo versions at least but that doesn't mean we will ever hear them. The band do sometimes go back to lyrics, hooks and elements that they liked and pick them up again for something new. 12 June 2014 / submitted by Ma edeh, Iran Q. Hi! I just wanna know why Coldplay played Crest of Waves for sound check? Does it have a particular reason? Thank you :-) THE ORACLE REPLIES > I was at the sound check in Paris on 28 May where the band played Green Eyes & Crest of Waves. Green Eyes was played later in the proper show - as it was again tonight in Tokyo. Sound checks are a rare opportunity to try old songs and if they work out, they may make an appearance in the show or at a later date but sometimes they play songs at sound check just for fun.

11 June 2014 / submitted by Cole , United States of America Q. I am from Colorado in the United States and we have one of the most beautiful concert venues in the world here called Red Rocks. It is absolutely stunning to see a concert here as it is nestled in the mountains and I am curious why Coldplay has never played here. I know it's not the biggest venue but have they ever played here? Cheers THE ORACLE REPLIES > WHAT?!? Ooh Cole, we are well aware of Red Rocks. Not just because of the legendary U2 performance in 1983 but because Coldplay DID play there twenty years later! 11 June 2014 / submitted by Zi, Malaysia Q. Is it the stage in the video uploaded on YouTube for A sky full of stars (TV special) is the one that Chris Martin mentioned which cost about 2m to build? THE ORACLE REPLIES > The TV special - Coldplay: Ghost Stories - was the stage that Chris was referring to when he said it was too expensive to re-create for every show but I'm pretty sure he was half joking / exaggerating the £2 million cost of it - though it was VERY expensive. 11 June 2014 / submitted by Mauricio, Mexico Q. Play Amsterdam again! THE ORACLE REPLIES > OK! Don't know when and where but I'm sure that will happen again one day. 11 June 2014 / submitted by D, United Kingdom Q. Dear Oracle Do the band mind if we take pics of them at concerts? May seem a silly question but I am due to see them live and know how I would feel if someone took my pic without permission!! ;/ Thanks! THE ORACLE REPLIES > As long as you're not using a camera that has a detachable lens - i.e. a professional one - you are more than welcome to take photos. That is why we encourage you to upload your photos to our Live section.

10 June 2014 / submitted by Maria, Venezuela Q. Hey, O! Why Harmless isn't part of Parachutes? It's a really great song, it should've been on the album. Greetings from Venezuela!!! THE ORACLE REPLIES > Harmless wasn't actually written then; it was written after during the AROBTTH era. Many songs were written for that album (and subsequent ones) that didn't make it. There can be different reasons why these tracks don't make the album - including but not limited to - it doesn't fit the style, it's not good enough, it was ear-marked for a b side, it was written too late or the band (& their inner circle) don't agree on its inclusion. 10 June 2014 / submitted by Eleanor, United Kingdom Q. My Dad and I love the new Ghost Stories Album, can you tell me if track 9 is a 'Zero' or an 'O'. Thank you for all the great Music, hope to see you live sometime soon. Els THE ORACLE REPLIES > It's O not 0 (not a zero). 10 June 2014 / submitted by Melissa, United States of America Q. Do you know where the Violet Hill video was filmed? It's absolutely lovely. THE ORACLE REPLIES > The location was Mount Etna & Catania, Sicily. I assume you're not referring to the alternative Dancing Politicians video...

9 June 2014 / submitted by Marc, Spain Q. Dear Oracle, I managed to get tickets for the 2nd July show at the RAH! Since they are playing in the round, there is a possibility that the guys face the other way (any seating plan btw?). Are they doing anything special so that it's equally interesting for everybody? (Don't get me wrong, seeing them facing the other way would be so much better than not seeing them at all!). Thank you. THE ORACLE REPLIES > Forgive me, people. It seems the Oracle does not know everything after all. The gig IS in the round. Click here, scroll down and click the seating plan tab. The RAH is such a stunning venue. 9 June 2014 / submitted by Ana, Portugal Q. Dear Oracle, I sent you some hours ago a question asking if the song Ladder to the Sun would ever be released. Now, hoping I'm not wasting a lot of your precious time, I would like to ask if you, please, could share its official lyrics. I can't even express how fascinated I am about this song. It's a beautiful, incredible, amazing masterpiece! Again, thanks for your time! With love, Ana THE ORACLE REPLIES > I'm afraid we don't publish the lyrics to unreleased songs. I'm sure someone will have posted them online but I can't vouch for their accuracy. Sorry! 9 June 2014 / submitted by Dominik, Hong Kong Q. Dear Oracle, I am a big fan of Coldplay and Snow Patrol. I once read that Snow Patrol had been on a tour with Coldplay long ago but couldn't find any of their collaborative works. It would be wonderful if you can provide ways of finding those songs/footages. Love from Hong Kong. THE ORACLE REPLIES > They haven't collaborated. THE ORACLE REPLIES >[/color] They haven't collaborated. Snow Patrol opened for Coldplay in 2009 on the U.S leg of their Viva tour but they didn't play anything together."]Snow Patrol opened for Coldplay in 2009 on the U.S leg of their Viva tour but they didn't play anything together.

6 June 2014 / submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE? As you may know, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday we open questions of a personal nature to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply. ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to [email protected] before midnight Thursday 12 June. My husband and I are from two different countries. When we got married we chose to stay in his birth country because it would be easier for him to obtain a job. We love each other and are soul mates. Though, everyday is misery for me living in another continent and country. I feel homesick and get depressed easily. I'm struggling to learn the language and to get a job. I feel like an alien with no life here. I have made friends but I continue to feel this emptiness inside, torn and confused. I love my husband so much but living here is so difficult for me. I keep believing I'm just on an horrible vacation that's going to end soon but that's far from the reality. Is it normal to feel like this? Will I ever be able to accept that this is going to be my life forever?? Of course true love is about sacrificing your happiness for the people you love - I'm doing it, but I feel like I'm dying everyday. Help. Trina, Spain. Look forward to seeing your replies. The Oracle. THE ORACLE REPLIES > Please email your replies to [email protected] Including your twitter address may result in a follow back. 6 June 2014 / submitted by Orlagh, United Kingdom Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #171 I'm completely lost at the moment. It seems as if every person I know leaves me. My father left before I was even born because he didn't want me. I just helped a guy get over self-harm; he said that he loved me then promptly ditched me after he was better. I keep trying to look after others and block out my own feelings. I bury my head in academia and yes, whilst this is good as I could, potentially, have a shot at getting into a university such as Oxford, I feel that I am placing no importance on my emotions whatsoever. I don't know what to do. THE ORACLE REPLIES > A lot of this will stem from abandonment issues with your father's departure and that is something that you may need to talk through with someone - like a counsellor. Perhaps people are not leaving you, but a situation. Your Dad left but not because he didn't want you but because he didn't want a baby. Yes, the baby was you but in the time before you were born, to him it was probably the responsibility he didn't want. I know it's not as easy as that to dismiss what happened but what I am trying to say is you sound like an amazing person so don't take that selfish decision of your dad's personally. If you're a regular reader, you know I'm not a fan of labelling people selfish. To me it means doing what you want with total disregard for others. People can be selfish and the damage they leave behind can be catastrophic but I urge you to not let this shape your future. You are offering support and love to people but maybe you are not showing that you'd like the same. With what's happened in your past, you may be unaware of a barrier you've created that prevents you from receiving the same? Maybe people think, as you're so capable of giving that you don't need anything back from them? Also, if you always expect people to leave, they have a habit of doing exactly that. Studying hard is being kind to yourself and definitely a step towards a better future but don't hide behind it - you need to look after your emotional needs too. Don't be afraid to tell people what you want and need. If you want a hug or a shoulder to cry on, ask someone. You don't always have to be the rock for everyone else. That said, different people have different things to offer so the guy who you helped get better needed something but might not be capable of giving you anything back. It's not always a reciprocal arrangement. I have friends that my role is to listen, comfort and help. I have other friends I go to if I need support. Try to seek out who is there for you - they will be there. If you struggle to recognise them, start by speaking to a professional for the support you need. You're not alone in this I assure you. You need to make time for yourself and I mean schedule it if you have to. In that "me time", do things that make YOU happy. Sometimes we don't need other people to give us what we need, we can get from within ourselves. The more you do that, the more it will become habit and hopefully you will begin to place importance on it. Over to you. That sounds really tough but you mustn't feel that it will always be the case. You need to focus on you and the rest will fall into place. Bad things happen, but really good things happen too, if you let them. The important thing is to look forwards, not focus on the past. Allow the past to help you become the person you want to be, but don't dwell on it. Rather than thinking about all the people who have left you, focus on the ones who haven't. Look for the positives, the great relationships that you have with family and friends, think about why they're in your life, what you love about them and what they love about you. It sounds as though you have an exciting future ahead of you and there's nothing wrong with burying yourself in academia. I sound like a grandparent here, but it will stand you in good stead! I look back on the people from my past, those who have come and gone and I have regrets. Regrets about the way I allowed myself to feel, the time I spent on being sad that they weren't in my life anymore. 20-odd years on and what's important now is those who are with me now, the rest are insignificant. Ruth, UK. Let's start with your father. His lack of commitment and immaturity and who knows what else isn't about whether you were lovable. His issues were instilled in him before he created a life without stepping up to nurture that life. He may have contributed to your DNA, but he is not a father. Children base their self worth by seeing themselves through their parents eyes. What people often do who haven't received this, is find people like the parent they feel rejected by and try to win them over. Which means, you may be looking for people who lack commitment and a sense of nurturing and then try to change them into what you hoped your father would have been. Decide to find healthy people who can have a healthy relationship with you. It may not be easy, but, remember, people show you, pretty early on, who they are. Often, people in your situation will excuse behavior in order to continue to try and fix the person who reminds them of their parent. Volunteer with an organization which speaks to you. You might find people there who are givers and also have things in common with you. Find an activity which brings you satisfaction and participate, even when you don't feel up to it. Move forward and shake off people who drag you down. Be for yourself what your biological parent didn't have the guts to be for you. Love your self, nurture yourself, respect yourself. Prove yourself. You are worth everything. Jamie. Sometimes the answer lies in the questions we ask. You said, 'I keep trying to look after others and block out my own feelings.' It is time you pay heed to your own feelings first, before you begin to look after others. Charity, they say, begins at home. And it really does. No matter how tragic things have been, please realise the act of your father or this guy does not define who you are. Revel in the person that you are despite the circumstances. You have clearly shown you can turn the negative energies into something positive like in your studies and find yourself standing at the threshold of a great future. Celebrate that. Look after yourself for a change. Indulge in things that make you happy; whether it is gardening or dancing to Coldplay or whatever you fancy. Be more of you. Enrich your 'self'. Often in our miseries we fail to notice the people around us who truly care for us. Appreciate them. Don't let them feel neglected like you are feeling now because of someone else. It can be hard to believe that so much suffering can come to one person. But when we see, how we don't even compare to the sufferings of people in other parts of the world, we realise how fortunate we truly are to be alive at all. Perspective is a tricky thing. But it makes the life we live all the more easier to understand and appreciate. Rex, India. I really think I know what you are feeling; I have experienced similar things. I had a close friend who was in a dark place. I did everything I could to help her out of it but once she recovered she seemed to forget about me. It really is painful to be left behind like that. I too had swallowed all my pain and focused my energies on school. However, one of the things I have learned from listening to Coldplay is that you have to let yourself feel the pain. Sometimes you need to have a good cry, go for a long jog in the fresh air, write about your feelings, or whatever it is that will help you let it out. Then it isn't stuck in the back of your throat; you'll be able to breathe. This is when it is easier to understand what you are feeling more clearly. In life, no matter who you are, there will always be people who forget to appreciate you. You have to let these people go. Although it is a loss for you it is also a loss for them. There are others out there who are lovely like you, and will appreciate you and treat you like you deserve. And you really do deserve it. You focus on helping others and your studies which is great but you also need to take time for yourself. Wishing you all the best Alex, Canada. You find the person who really loves you as you want. Do not feel bad because in any place of the world anybody destined for you exists. Sometimes you can go so far as to think that this moment will never come but believe me, I have had some problems with my relations that neither came to a good end nor had the beginning that I wanted but of the errors it is learned. As many people say "if you fall down you can get up and continue". Do not stop your life for anybody who could not value you as you deserve it to yourself. Fulfill your dreams and sees the university that will help you to forget all your problems and know more persons. I am sure that there are more people who love you so much. Look well and fulfill all your dreams. Hugs and greetings enormously from Argentina, Daniela. You can get through. Things may make you feel like happiness is hopeless, but your trials and tribulations will allow you to be happier in the future. This may seem difficult, but let all of your feelings in. Why? You'll have a clean slate in your mind. You will accept your feelings and it will be easier to move on. Also, emotions are very important. But, you are not shutting out your emotions, just letting in the wrong ones. People unfortunately accept their insecurities before their beautiful gifts. You are smart. You have a chance to get into Oxford. Only a small percentage of people get that chance, which shows that you are special and greatly needed in this world. I don't know you personally. But, just know that I love you. No matter who you are and what you've done. I love you and there will be one person that will stay with you forever. You're just finding the right person that will really understand you. You're not lost. You're just waiting to be found, and someone will most definitely fulfill that need. So, don't worry, be happy. If you are able to help someone else get through his or her personal trials, you will too. You are a wonderful person and you will find your way. Amy. I'm sorry that you're going through this rough patch! You mentioned two different problems, so I wanted to address them separately. Part 1 I cannot pretend to imagine that I understand how you feel, but I can imagine that it's heartbreaking to feel as though every time you turn around, people are leaving you. However, if you focus on those who leave you, you'll never be able to focus on those who are standing right in front of you. I like to think of people as flowers. Some people in life are like annuals; you can take care of and nurture that flower to the best of your ability, and it would still die within a year. It's fickle and leaves, just like some people in life. Others, however, are like perennials. You could leave them alone and they would still return year after year. Cling to the perennials in life because they will stay by you, year after year, even in the rough patches. Annuals come and go, and while they might seem lovely for a time, they are soon gone and leave no trace. Don't waste your energy trying to get annuals back, but reach out to the perennials in your life. Part 2 Balance is the key to happiness. You are more valuable than your academics. It's healthy to sort through your emotions; if you bury a piece of a broken watch, is it ever really fixed? Take time for you. Good luck! Brooke. I can understand why you're lost and might feel abandoned. You went through some tuff times, but you should not let that get in the way of your life and happiness, and most of all you shouldn't try to block your feelings by studying. Our emotions are one of the things that make us human it's a part of us that can make us really happy or really down. Don't be afraid to tell people how you feel because of what happened. Talking about how we feel is something that connects us with each other and who knows things happen when you at least expect them. That fact that you're going to university is great and you should be proud of that. It's a place where you meet new people who can end up being friends who will last a lifetime, it's also a place where people find themselves. You might miss out on that when all you do is keep your nose into your books. You can be smart and enjoy yourself. Don't let what happened in the past control your future. I went through a rough patch myself a couple years ago and once I realized that how I choose to live my life going forward is a way I can honor his memory I became happier. Maybe you can contact your friend and ask him why he did what he did and that might give you some closure and help you move on from it. Amal. I've read your story, and it made me kinda sad because it seems that I've encountered the same chronology as yours. Well, not very similar. God gave me a loving parents that took care of me, and He gave me many potentials of many things such like linguistic ability and musical sense. But I always underestimated those gifts because of my behavior that always consider things easy, I'm afraid that He'll take everything from me. Meanwhile, I always think that my contribution towards life seems unrequited. Even though I'm an apathetic kind of person and I don't tend to talk to people, I have a principle about helping people regardless everything. There was one of my friends, I often taught him language-related subjects. Until one day, our teacher demanded us to team up to solve a group test. I was sick the day before and he ditched me and he grinned at me " why would I team up with a weirdo like you?". I silenced, then I sincerely took the portfolio by myself. The results were quite surprising that my grades were higher than him - with his troops. Later, he respected me till the end of my middle school years. Well, I just wanna tell you that it's true that what goes around comes around. But never hate those who've hurt you no matter how wretched they are in your eyes, because it makes you same just like them. God bless, Joshua. From your description, you sound intellectually gifted, but emotionally, you are still the little girl who was abandoned by her Father. As a result, you self-identify as someone nobody wants instead of someone who could potentially get into Oxford which is huge. I have also used my academics as a coping mechanism which is better than drugs or other harmful behaviors. School can provide a support system that home life may not be able to provide. Your Father not being present in your life is not a representation of you not being lovable rather than a reflection of his inability to care for anybody other than himself. Sometimes, parents stay away because their presence could actually do more harm than being absent, but this does not alleviate the hole in your heart. Right now, you are filling that hole with more damaged people. Adulthood is about learning to evolve from the damage that was done to us as children. We are all experiments in some way because parenting does not come with a how to manual, but the jewel is realizing the root of the damage in order to create a plan to address it. With the compassion that you expend on people who leave you, you could use that same compassion to be a wonderful advocate for at-risk-youth who grew up without a parent like you. Be Well, Orlagh. DH. Reaching out is such a courageous thing to do, Orlagh. It's often so much easier to help others with the challenges they're going through, and much more difficult to ask for guidance when we need it. The core of what you're going through likely stems back to feelings of abandonment at such a young age. When we experience traumatic events, so much of it gets stored deep within us, without our awareness. We unconsciously continue to play out patterns that reflect those earlier wounds, such as the situation with the guy you helped recently. Just being aware of the root cause, as you are, is the most powerful step to take in choosing a different pattern for your life. Feel the feelings that are coming up, let them pass through you, allow your emotions to be there without judgment or the need to push them away. Emotions are simply "energy in motion." They need to move up and out in order for us to heal. It's often helpful to talk these things out with someone as well. Remember that you are not alone in this. We're all here for one another, even across the seas. Sending you love and intentions for healing. Alia, USA. Thanks to all those who replied to this week's question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

5 June 2014 / submitted by M Davis, United Kingdom Q. Is Brothers & Sisters considered to be an EP? Safety and Blue Room are listed as EPs on the website, but Brothers & Sisters is not. THE ORACLE REPLIES > That's because the Brothers & Sisters in our Recordings section is referring to the song - not the EP. Fierce Panda released the Brothers & Sisters EP (which the second image in Recordings is of) and then a re-recorded version appeared on the b side of Trouble (the first image) released on Parlophone. 5 June 2014 / submitted by Alex, Canada Q. Hi dear Oracle, When Chris plays the laser harp in Midnight, does he play for real? It looks like his hands are going randomly above the lasers! Thank you THE ORACLE REPLIES > I'm pretty sure it's only for show and Chris is just using it as a visual effect. Guy is definitely playing the laser harp for real though. 5 June 2014 / submitted by Teresa, India Q. Hello Oracle! First off, I'm sorry for this throwback question in the middle of all the Ghost Stories excitement, but it has been bugging me for a while! In the intro to Til' Kingdom Come during a concert (Toronto 2006 I think), Chris says, 'This is a song we wrote for Johnny Cash, and in return he gave us our..." I can't make out what he says. Would you be able to remember? :) Thanks in advance if you answer this! Much love from India. THE ORACLE REPLIES > Ah, this was a lovely question to answer for the pleasure of watching the wonderful video clip of that performance. Chris said "This is a song we wrote for Johnny Cash, and in return he gave us our dress sense". If you don't know, Johnny Cash was also known as The Man in Black due to his trademark black clothes. During the Twisted Logic tour (X&Y), Coldplay dressed in black hence the reference.

4 June 2014 / submitted by Sebastian, Ecuador Q. Dear Oracle! Can you tell me what's the name of the hidden song in O? THE ORACLE REPLIES > I know a few people have been confused by this - me included! The track listing goes from A Sky Full Of Stars to O yet in between is the beautiful Fly On. It's not hidden per se, it's just not been detached from O. I think it's part of it hence the fact it's usually written O / Fly On or O (Fly On). 4 June 2014 / submitted by Teresa, India Q. Hello Oracle! This is a question about the very interesting new instrument that the band used at the iTunes festival, the Reactable. I'm curious to know how it actually works! From what I've read it involves moving blocks around a table, but wasn't Guy playing it more by moving his hands in the lasers that were coming off the table? Would you be able to explain how it works in simpler terms? Whatever it is, it makes for such a cool performance! Thanks for your time! Love from India, as always. THE ORACLE REPLIES > What Will and Guy are playing are two different things. Will is using the Reactable and Guy is playing a laser harp to create bass sounds. The Reactable works by moving blocks (Generators, Effects and Filters, Controllers and Global Controllers) around the table screen. It's not quite as simple as that and perhaps their online manual will explain better. 4 June 2014 / submitted by Alejo, Peru Q. Is Steve Cheney your stage manager? He's just a genius !!! I hope you answer this one, O :) THE ORACLE REPLIES > No. Steve is a stage manager. He's worked as a tour manager and production manager as well as stage management for the main stages at the Glastonbury, Latitude, Big Chill and Leeds Festivals. Gary Currier was the band's stage manager on the MX tour.

3 June 2014 / submitted by Linda, United States of America Q. Dear Oracle, I was completely moved by the recent TV special for Ghost Stories. The hour left me quite speechless and deeply moved. Anyway, I was wondering if the 3 markings on Chris's guitar (looked like from a sharpee marker) had any significance. They were cool and was just wondering. The album is brilliant and as a fan from the get-go , I am so happy they are making music that pleases them and not just for the critics or to just make $ etc. Thanks for reading my question! Linda. THE ORACLE REPLIES > I had the same reaction, Linda. The guitar symbols are significant in that they link to the album themes: a heart, a ghost and an O. 3 June 2014 / submitted by Grace, Ireland Q. Dear O, I recently saw Coldplay on The Graham Norton Show where Chris and Jonny were asked if they would be doing a world tour where they replied 'No' in unison! Is this true? Will Coldplay cease to be setting on a Ghost Stories tour? Please shed some light on this situation! p.s I love the column! Many thanks, Grace THE ORACLE REPLIES > As you may have noticed, Coldplay have been performing at more intimate shows at smaller venues. I suppose that amounts to a tour of sorts but not on the scale of previous ones. Chris & Jonny said on the Graham Norton Show that there will be no big world tour for this album and yes, that is true. Here's where the band played / are playing: 25 April - E-Werk, Cologne, Germany 05 May - Beacon Theatre, New York, USA 19 May - Royce Hall, Los Angeles, USA 28 May - Casino de Paris, Paris, France 12 June - Dome City Hall, Tokyo, Japan 19 June - Enmore Theatre, Sydney, Australia 01 July - Royal Albert Hall, London, UK There have been other performances too but these are the official tour dates as they stand. 3 June 2014 / submitted by Pham, United Kingdom Q. Hello! I understand that Coldplay will perform at BBC 1 Radio Weekend, do you know whether it will be broadcast on Television or Radio? Thanks Oracle! THE ORACLE REPLIES > As you probably know - given it's been and gone - it was broadcast. If you missed it, or wish to watch it again, you can watch highlights via the BBC's red button.

2 June 2014 / submitted by Kaz, Australia Q. Greetings Oracle, I'm sorry if I sound terribly ignorant here - I'm going back through all Roadie 42's blogs, and have found myself confused on a number of occasions? Could you please educate me about the difference between an arena and a stadium? Thanks :) THE ORACLE REPLIES > Without using a dictionary definition and whatnot, the simplest way to explain is arenas are indoor & stadiums are outdoor venues. Arenas tend to have a lower capacity than stadiums. There are exceptions but that's the general difference. 2 June 2014 / submitted by Brock, Canada Q. I have heard from a friend who knows I love Coldplay, that they are playing in Toronto in August this year, and their friend has tickets to it already. However, I can't find Toronto listed anywhere in their schedule. Is it true that they are playing in Toronto? THE ORACLE REPLIES > No. Not unless your friend's friend has a DeLorean or similar time travelling device and is planning to go back to 2005. 2 June 2014 / submitted by Christopher, United States of America Q. Hi Oracle Is there an update on when the US fans might be able to purchase the Midnight 45 single, either online or in a store? I know Anchorman said it was delayed and it wouldn't make it here for RSD, but that was a quite a while ago! Thank you! THE ORACLE REPLIES > You should be able to grab a copy at some of the larger independent record stores. Here are some stockists that definitely have/had it: Bull Moose - Maine & New Hampshire Turntable Lab - NYC (physical store and online shop) Newbury Comics - Mass, Conn, Maine, New Hampshire, Rhode Island Vintage Vinyl - New Jersey Amoeba - Los Angeles Amoeba - San Francisco Cactus Music - Houston, TX Waterloo - Austin, TX Silver Platters - Seattle, WA Exclusive Company - Wisconsin Plan 9 - Richmond, VA Von's Shop - Indiana Shake It Records - Cincinnati, OH There are quite a few smaller ones stocking it too so it's worth having a look around.

one of my friends scored 42 out of 45 on a test

he was always staring at the phone, maybe he was sexting with jonny :rolleyes:

The Italy vs Uruguay game was unfair, i'm really angry

the played on sunrise today and during asfos they did this i'm done

Guy is my type, talking about looks, but dunno why the one that gives me orgasms just by looking at him is Jonny

wait wait wait Alex Turner and Alexa Chung were smoking together! Not Chris and Alexa

yes the second one is photoshopped, she did warn us though

kind of, i liked her

I think Alexa Chung is getting back with Alex Turner :bigcry:

he's 36 and he doesnt have a wrinkle

I've always loved the satisfied look on jonny's face after he hits chris

I don't drink often, but when i do, i drink a lot, because fortunately i have a lot of resistance when it comes to alcohol. I never got drunk in my life, but i got tipsy, even if i drank a lot, it's just impossibile for me to get propely drunk, and i don't want to push my self too much cause i'm afraid to get into alcoholic coma