25 Things you owe you mums

[bart]

I OWE MY MOTHER

 

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

 

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

 

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

 

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

" Because I said so, that's why."

 

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

 

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

 

7. My mother taught me IRONY.

"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

 

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

 

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.

"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

 

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.

"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

 

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.

"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

 

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.

"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

 

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

 

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.

"Stop acting like your father!"

 

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

 

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.

"Just wait until we get home."

 

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.

"You are going to get it when you get home!"

 

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

 

19. My mother taught me ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

 

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

 

21.My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.

"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

 

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.

"You're just like your father."

 

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

 

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.

"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

 

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

[PolyEsther]

:lol: :lol:

 

*appreciates Mums*

[busybeeburns]

my mum taught me stunts, "you do if you dare" :stunned:

[Guest DavidG]

:lol:

 

good one

 

great thread daryl! :)

[PolyEsther]

poor you Ian... :stunned:

[Sweet One]

My mom taught me how to cook. Those grilled cheese sandwiches I make all the time really come in handy. :P

[Mojo Pin]

hahaha this thread rocks! :lol:

[sweet marianne]

lol, this is hilarious, i love the my mom taught me humor one, haha "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me." :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Sweet One]

My told me that I would become poor and live on the street if i bought one more pair of shoes. :lol:

[Professor Peedston]

This really is a great thread. It took me so long to appreciate my mom, but I'm glad that I do now. :cheesy:

[DoogieJ]

I'm scared by how many of those my mum actually used on me, almost word for word...is there like some "Mum Bible" out there all mums get and use?

[Angel at his table]

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

" Because I said so, that's why."

 

YES! :lol: I know it VERY WELL :lol:

[Guest DavidG]

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.

" Because I said so, that's why."

 

YES! :lol: I know it VERY WELL :lol:

 

I use that logic everyday :lol:

[Jeff Gordon]

25 Things you owe you mums

 

:angry: :angry: my mother...fuck her!...she dumped me and dad when I was 5...then told me a few years later that she would come and see me...and 2x I waited for her, and she never fucking showed up...I hate her!...and then I found some letters in my dad's room where he used to write to her...when I was a :baby: ...she left me in my crib alone in the house...and she did it allot. :cry: ..my dad said he came home from college one day to her house to get a book, and found me in my crib crying...he said that day he realized he really had a son to take care of ...and he did...he fought custody of me and won...so hey Mom...if u ever read this...FUCK YOU! :P :P :P :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:

 

25 things, I owe my dad...love, respect, doing good in school, doing my chores, being safe, all that stuff kids should do when they r asked ( or sometimes told) :lol: :lol:

 

I love my dad...he rocks :smug: :kiss: