Darlene_Ihnfsa Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 haha it's ok nope i didn't finish the other link i'm reading it :) ok, as i've said any feedback, or opinion is welcome. also feel free to ask any doubt or show me any mistake. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahlem Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 haha i didn't finsh yet but i'm kindza understanding everything hopefully i didn't forget this language :D i continue :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gitta Rensolo Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 good, then write something Julia. :nice: i'd like to read it. (i think you've never shown me any of your writings btw :( ) you've read the two links that quick? yes they told me that, specially about the "pero", ok i translated it all myself too fast :embarassed: i should had gone working on that one in english again, it was easier. oooh I've posted a bunch of things a few years ago....it's in the poet's thread...;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darlene_Ihnfsa Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 oooh I've posted a bunch of things a few years ago....it's in the poet's thread...;) Oh i miss that thread so much, i liked it a lot. :nice: i'm going to check it Julia. :D thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahlem Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 it's really good, i like stories like that plus i will improve my spanish with your stories :D so continue please :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darlene_Ihnfsa Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 really you liked it? any doubts, things you would change? you think the dialogue is too long? it turns to a dark side, i warn you :thinking: so now i don't know if update them in spanish or english. :huh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahlem Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 humm the dialogue is quite long yeah, but it's good and for the language, well i think you have to do both as everybody is reading you in here, you can't do it only in spanish, so english too or simple, do it just in english but honestly i find the spanish one better as it's your mother language you're more confortable with it, but heyyy you're english is excellent too don't worry ;) anyway i like both so spanish or english it doesn't matter for me so see with the others :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darlene_Ihnfsa Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 humm the dialogue is quite long yeah, but it's good and for the language, well i think you have to do both as everybody is reading you in here, you can't do it only in spanish, so english too or simple, do it just in english but honestly i find the spanish one better as it's your mother language you're more confortable with it, but heyyy you're english is excellent too don't worry ;) anyway i like both so spanish or english it doesn't matter for me so see with the others :P i found the dialogue too long, but i didn't want to make it shorter, i planed the whole scene were in the living room, but don't know how it moved to the kitchen too :thinking: that's why i started writing poems in english and now i don't ever write a poem in spanish. you know, that story originally was in english but i don't know how i've lost half the work so i have to re-do it again. (that story is from october 2007 or so i think, may be even older, yes i take it so calmy when writing, but is because i have other projects at the same time, for instance this story has another 5 related stories that i have to develop at the same time because are so related to that one). well i'm about to finish "next" scene, i will upload it tomorrow may be.... i wanted to upload them weekly, i should reorganize some parts first. and i'd like to translate them myself, but it will take time, so may be i'll upload the spanish version first and few days later the english version. ops so long post. so what do you think will happen on the next updates? :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahlem Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 humm the next updates if i understood well what you wrote in spanish i would say that Agnes will love alejandro in her turn but he won't anymore as it's too late, he had suffer enough with her kinda ignorance, so he will stop loving her this is how i'm seeing your story a romantic story :wacky: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darlene_Ihnfsa Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 humm the next updates if i understood well what you wrote in spanish i would say that Agnes will love alejandro in her turn but he won't anymore as it's too late, he had suffer enough with her kinda ignorance, so he will stop loving her this is how i'm seeing your story a romantic story :wacky: will love alejandro in her turn? :huh: he had suffered with her ignorance? :huh: i don't understand what you mean with that... i should reveal a bit of the mystery in the next update i guess... or may be update the beginning of the story which is kinda sad really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahlem Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 holy crap i'm sure alejandro is loving agnes because of his attitude towards her, the way he looks to her in her eyes as you said and the way he holds her hand :thinking: if it's not the case then i understood nothing of the whole story :uhoh: and i'd better reread it :shame: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darlene_Ihnfsa Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 holy crap i'm sure alejandro is loving agnes because of his attitude towards her, the way he looks to her in her eyes as you said and the way he holds her hand :thinking: if it's not the case then i understood nothing of the whole story :uhoh: and i'd better reread it :shame: you understood it very well :nice: congrats, in case you had any doubts that proofs that you are good at spanish :D and so, you have any idea about what his "dark past" could be? (am i asking a lot? :thinking: sorry if so). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahlem Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 ohhh great :D thanks becuas i was afraid :uhoh: humm this will be the last question for today ( i should go to sleep :P) well for alejandro dark past i'm going to say that... humm :thinking: he probably was a troubled man, in the case that he lost his identity and everysingle information about himself, and that he would find some clues anywhere saying that he was probably an evil person a killer (or something) in the past, so he met agnes maybe to help him find his real identity and then he would fall in love with her i have many ideas bt it really depends on yours :P hope it's comprehensive what i wrote :wacko: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darlene_Ihnfsa Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 yes comprehensive. i'll think about that, but so far is not that his dark past. ;) but you gave me a clue for other ideas. nighty night :nice: and glad that you liked it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ahlem Posted June 2, 2009 Share Posted June 2, 2009 really it's ok, everybody doesn't have the same thoughts otherwise the world would not be creative and interesting ;) i'm glad that i gave you ideas with what i wrote i'm waiting for the next update let me know when it's ready ;) good night now :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darlene_Ihnfsa Posted June 3, 2009 Share Posted June 3, 2009 So i've finished part 3. it has 5 pages and is in spanish (this one reveals some things about him, but yet not everything). i'm working on a serious part now, i don't think i'll post that one today. i'll translate them as soon as possible. Anyways here are part 1 is the first part i've shown (4 pages in english, a scene that in my opinion resumes the story leaving yet mystery, that scene is from the middle of the story, not the beginning nor the end of the story). and part 2. the second part i've uploaded (6 pages in spanish, next scene after the first one). warn you that is not the final version yet, so may have some changes yet. while reading when you see a - - at the beginning it means there's another scene there that i will update later. enjoy and leave me here some feedback :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nihcoldplay Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 Ari good job, great story! i've just read the 1st part and I really got involved with the story, and as I told you, that's something hard to do... I like the dialogues, and although you said that there are too many of them, i don't think it compromise your story... Dunno what about the 2nd part and etc., I just would like to know more about the characters, hope to find out more about them soon:wacky: Really good plot. That's it, keep on working. You write such great things! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darlene_Ihnfsa Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 thanks a lot anita :hug: glad that you liked what you've read. and yes in the next parts you'll know more about the characters, their past and how they met will be said on the last part (i hope i'll upload today, part 4 will be the longest one so far), is so revealing and appear more characters in it. as said before, i'll try to translate what i've update for the english version this weekend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darlene_Ihnfsa Posted June 5, 2009 Share Posted June 5, 2009 so as i've said. part 4 is uploaded. (8 pages, so far the longest one, is in spanish too). more characters interact: Characters: Alejandro - main character, psychologist, Agnes' patient. Agnes - psychologist, Alejandro's doctor. Simmons - Agnes' nurse. Slomo Cohen - Agnes' boss William - Agnes' son Irina - William's babysitter Daniel - Agnes' ex. not spoken but been mentioned: Roxane - Alejandro's old "friend" Muriel - Alejando's ex. i will upload the english version of them tomorrow. i hope you enjoy reading and give me your impressions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nihcoldplay Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 "¿Donde va un psicólogo cuando necesita consejo?" I'm just reading the 2nd part and I really like it Ari!! I have to say that i like Alejandro.... :rolleyes: I think he's a good guy :D i want to read more and more. and you're helping me with my spanish :wacko: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Escapist Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 I floated away, A red leaf lead astray On a cold winters day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darlene_Ihnfsa Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 yay that sentence was the original idea, i wanted to write something interesting and dig on the characters and so human behaviour on both sides, the best and the worst. :) alejandro is the character i'm enjoying most myself, well i haven't shown the first part of the story yet, but he was so different back then. :evil: glad that i'm helping you and that you are enjoying it :nice: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nihcoldplay Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 i really liked the sentence ari :nice: Alejandro is a seducer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darlene_Ihnfsa Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 nice bryce :nice: sure he is :wink3: and that's been his problem. :uhoh: i don't want to say much about it yet :p you'll get some clues on the part 3 and 4. ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nihcoldplay Posted June 15, 2009 Share Posted June 15, 2009 I floated away, A red leaf lead astray On a cold winters day :clap: I like it :) Ari I can't wait! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now