The forum needs some random, so that's where this thread came from, for the record....

 

 

This is probably the funniest chat I have ever taken part in. Seriously. I can't be the only person amused by my friend Emily's complete lack of knowledge in the... er.... sexual department.:sick: I probably AM the only person amused, though.

 

 

It worries me that someone who is 17 years of age, living in the same society as the rest of us.... still doesn't know what gay guys DO. Do you have any misconceptions? Then please, get them cleared up here. I present to you: Gay Sex 101, Slow Minded Version, by Danielle (Straight Female).

 

Oh, and for the record:

Me=hellohello HOLAz

my friend Alison=LostGirl

my friend Emily (AKA: Ye Slow Minded One)=TilKingdomCome

 

 

hellohello HOLAz: you guys

hellohello HOLAz: sometimes i think i'm a gay man trapped in a straight girl's body.

TilKingdomCome46: LMFAO

hellohello HOLAz: well

hellohello HOLAz: i like asses a lot.

TilKingdomCome46: gay guys have a thing for asses?

LostGirl2342: ok.....

hellohello HOLAz: .

hellohello HOLAz: NO

hellohello HOLAz: THEY LIKE VAGINA.

TilKingdomCome46: no they dont

hellohello HOLAz: EMILY

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

TilKingdomCome46: they like penises

hellohello HOLAz: I'M BEING SARCASTIC

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

hellohello HOLAz: holy fuck

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

LostGirl2342: oh my god im so confused

TilKingdomCome46: oh

hellohello HOLAz: DUDE

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

hellohello HOLAz: WHAT DO YOU THINK

hellohello HOLAz: GAY PEOPLE DO!?

hellohello HOLAz: LIKE WHERE DO YOU THINK THE GAY GUYS PUT IT

TilKingdomCome46: do eachother up the...OHHHHHH

TilKingdomCome46: OMG I TOTALLY GET IT

TilKingdomCome46: IT'S LIKE THE VAGINA BUT FOR A GAY GUY

TilKingdomCome46: OMFG I TOTALLY GET IT

hellohello HOLAz: .....

hellohello HOLAz: EMILY

hellohello HOLAz: EMILY

hellohello HOLAz: ARE YOU KIDDING ME

hellohello HOLAz: THAT'S WHY PEOPLE CALL EACH OTHER ASSHOLES

hellohello HOLAz: OR

hellohello HOLAz: "YOU TAKE IT UP THE ASS"

hellohello HOLAz: OR ANY OF THOSE OTHER INSULTS

hellohello HOLAz: ARE YOU KIDDING?!

TilKingdomCome46: well i knew the second part

hellohello HOLAz: HOLY FUCK I'M CONFUSED LMFAO

hellohello HOLAz: .....

TilKingdomCome46: ...about taking it up the ass

hellohello HOLAz: THEY STICK THEIR PENISES UP THEIR ASSES

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAOOOO

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAOOO

hellohello HOLAz: *chokes on tongue*

LostGirl2342: wait did emily just learn about gay guys taking up the ass?

TilKingdomCome46: yep

LostGirl2342: emily what did you think they did?

hellohello HOLAz: ....

hellohello HOLAz: YES SHE DID

TilKingdomCome46: idk. i didnt really put two and two together

hellohello HOLAz: ....

hellohello HOLAz: WHAT DID YOU THINK THEY DID

hellohello HOLAz: I WANT TO KNOW

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

TilKingdomCome46: idk. fondle eachother's penis??

hellohello HOLAz: ...

hellohello HOLAz: FONDLE!?

hellohello HOLAz: HOW ABOUT SUCK

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAOOOO

LostGirl2342: :'(

hellohello HOLAz: AND DON'T MAKE ME EXPLAIN LESBIANISM TO YOU

LostGirl2342: anal sex is so gross.

LostGirl2342: things should not go up there

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAOOOOOOO

LostGirl2342: that is not the purpose of that

LostGirl2342: THINGS COME OUT OF THERE

TilKingdomCome46: yeah. please dont explain lesbianism. i've learned enough for one day.

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAOOOO

hellohello HOLAz: SUCK YA POOOOSAY

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAOOO

hellohello HOLAz: EMILY

hellohello HOLAz: GO WATCH PORN.

hellohello HOLAz: SERIOUSLY.

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

TilKingdomCome46: lmfao

hellohello HOLAz: emily

TilKingdomCome46: eah?

hellohello HOLAz: i'm going to get you gay porn for christmas

TilKingdomCome46: please dont

LostGirl2342: LMAO GET IT FOR EASTER.

TilKingdomCome46: lmao

hellohello HOLAz: *will be 18 and can do that*

TilKingdomCome46: EWW NOT FOR EASTERRRR

TilKingdomCome46: GAHHHH

TilKingdomCome46: lmfao

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAOOOO

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

TilKingdomCome46: i have to pee

hellohello HOLAz: JESUS DIED FOR YOU TO STICK IT UP THE ASS, BITCH! THAT'S WHAT THE CHURCH ISN'T TELL YOU goodnight.

LostGirl2342: im sorry.

TilKingdomCome46: i'm going to sign off, pee, and then read my book in bed

LostGirl2342: that was bad.

hellohello HOLAz: go read porn

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

hellohello HOLAz: emily that was great

hellohello HOLAz: <3

LostGirl2342: O <-------------------------

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAOOOO

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAOOOOO

LostGirl2342: wait i can do better

TilKingdomCome46: it's like, one of my many naive points of wonder

hellohello HOLAz: o <----8

LostGirl2342: ( )o( ) <----8

hellohello HOLAz: ...

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

hellohello HOLAz: LMFAO

TilKingdomCome46: LMFAO

TilKingdomCome46: THAT IS SO CRUDE

hellohello HOLAz: THIS WHOLE THING

hellohello HOLAz: IS GOING IN MY PROFILE

hellohello HOLAz: SERIOUSLY

hellohello HOLAz: OR ONTO A MYSPACE BULLETIN

hellohello HOLAz: YES, EMILY, I'M GOING TO PUBLICLY HUMILIATE YOU

hellohello HOLAz: *CHOKES ON SALIVA*

LostGirl2342: WE HAVE PROBLEMS.

TilKingdomCome46: well, at least it accurately portrays my character

 

 

 

:sick: I envy her. I wish I were that naive. Seriously, how can someone be like that in this world?

:laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4::laugh4:

:confused:

Seriously, she's a mess.... I think we horrified her that night.... I'm getting her gay porn for Christmas this year.

 

 

 

See, kids. Live and learn. This is what happens when you spend all your time trying to get straight A's, a 4.79 GPA and make it into Tufts!!!!!!

nice conversation with your friends...

 

you all are really funny!

well that was....interesting......to say the least.

lmfao uh... we have some pretty disturbing conversations. If my parents ever found out about some of the things I sayand words I use.... My computer would be SO gone.

 

 

EDIT:

 

 

Which is PRECISELY why I post the conversations on public message boards!!!!! :deal2: :idea2:

maybe your parents are members of here :lol:

 

:shocked2::thinking:

:uhoh:

 

 

 

 

Hi mom.

 

 

How funny would that be, though.... "....DANIELLE?!??!?" "MOM!?!?! Oh my god I just saw you talking about how much you want Chris in the Coldplay section! NOOOOOOO!"

haahahahaahhahaaahahaha

 

maybe your mom has more posts than you :lol::lol:

LMFAO!

 

 

 

I bet my mom's Reilly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:stunned:

 

 

 

 

:uhoh:

:surprised::surprised::surprised::surprised:

:surprised::surprised::surprised::surprised:

Oh. And I just found this lovely little conversation that occured precisely... uhm.... 2 hours before the previous one. (for the record, this was all at the begining of vacation and at around 1 AM.)

 

hellohello HOLAz: how do you "tap" an ass?

LostGirl2342: oh yea id tap that

hellohello HOLAz: like.... just walk up and tap it?

TilKingdomCome46: idk

TilKingdomCome46: try it on sean

LostGirl2342: i think you have to tap it when t he persons on top of you

LostGirl2342: ...

LostGirl2342: um.

TilKingdomCome46: yeah. i'll pretend you never said that

hellohello HOLAz: WHAT

LostGirl2342: thats why i said that

hellohello HOLAz: like "*tap* excuse me honey, but push a little harder?"

ivanleonov99: lmofa

ivanleonov99: you guys

TilKingdomCome46: ja?

LostGirl2342: have you ever seen that movie with jennifer anniston and the guy from zoolander

ivanleonov99: i feel so mentally challeneged right now

 

 

 

No, seriously though... How do you "tap" an ass? Now I'm really wondering......???

I would love too see that discovery unfold if your mum was Reilly.

do you like right these conversations down or something :lol:

No, I actually saved this one because it amazed me so much.

 

 

 

She said to me, the next day:

 

 

"Whoa, Danielle. Brokeback Mountain makes SO much more sense now."

 

 

And all I can help thinking is...

 

What did she think was going ON during those scenes before she found out?!?!?! LMFAO! I can only imagine... "Oh my god, heavy fondling!!!?!??"

:stunned:

hahahaahahahaa

 

this is one of the funniest threads ever!

Sometimes I amuse myself, but usually I'm amused by my friends amusing me.

 

 

 

 

Someday I will update Emily on the finer points of Lesbianism.... NOT that I know anything about that...!!!!

OH GOD!!! OH GOD!!!! OH GOD!!!!

Now I have really bad pictures in my head, because you got me thinking about what I would do if I was gay.

:sick::sick::sick:

 

I am never doing that again.

I used to want to be a lesbian, and IM MALE!!!!

( )o( ) <----8

 

 

 

(I love how that ass is lopsided.....!!! LMFAO)

 

 

 

oh haha, very funny Coldplaying. They made the ass all nice and perfectly proportioned. Hmph.

a lesbian???

 

that'd be weird rundle.-.

 

heheheh

( )o( ) <----8

 

 

 

(I love how that ass is lopsided.....!!! LMFAO)

 

 

 

oh haha, very funny Coldplaying. They made the ass all nice and perfectly proportioned. Hmph.

 

LOL

Oh what about this one.

 

Here's one for the guys.

 

 

(.)(.) <---8

 

 

 

Wow. I could do this all day, really.