It's really putting me down these days

 

 

There is this good friend of mine, she is good looking. Sooooo many people find her hot....usually we go ot superficial places where every second person keeps asking her if she's got a boyfriend...and she so much enjoys it...so she keeps "playing" with her advantage of being pretty...

 

so now my problem is that I have a really low self-confidence....everytime I go out with her I feel really bad...especially because we only go ot places she likes...and here i have to add that she is totally different to me in case of interests...at those places there are only superficial people...I just hate it...I wish I could go somewhere with her where I like it and she feels absolutely wrong.....and where she is not the centre of attention...I so much wish she would just feel as bad as I do when I go out with her....it's definitely not fair...I can't enjoy my free-time anymore...so I better stay at home...I'm seriously thinking of giving up my friendship with her....we are just too different...I mean sometimes I even got the feeling as if she thinks that she is better than me because of her look...she is one of those persons who have 1000 friends,,.,...so one example:

last week we went to McDonald's (where I work)...there was one guy working in the kitchen and he looked at me, so I said "Hi" to him and he said "Hi" back....so nothing special....she was standing next to me and said: Oh yeah....I said Hi to somebody!"...in a tone as if she wanted to say "Oh yeah my name is Julia now I feel cool because i said hi to a guy!"....I was like "wtf?"....she sometimes treats me like all the other superficial people who think they're better because they look better...and this is one of those thnigs I hate most....I mean we still get along well with each other....but this issue is so much putting me down that I started crying some minutes ago....currently I always feel bad when I'm with her...I jsut can't handle this anymore....

 

but I think I should not talk about this with her...I know she'd say that all this is not true and stuff....so I'm just hoping that I'll get to know people from "my world" when I move out and won't have to do as much with her as I do now.....that sounds hard but it's true....

 

 

but she's still my friend.....damn I'm confused....

I know excatly how you feel.

 

I used to have (notice used to have) some friends who i thought were pretty and popular and fit and most of them had a really good self confidence, they know most of the people think they're so cool and pretty. And when i hung out with them i always felt like the ugly duckling..i didn't have the cool clothes and the most important - i didn't have a good self confidence.

I actually think it wasn't that good just because of them. I never felt like i was good enough, if they were going out they always called me the last if no one else wanted to go.

 

At some point i just got sick of that and told them i don't want to be around them anymore. I knew they didn't treat me like normal people deserve to be treated. And i'm soo glad i had the guts to say that on their face.

 

It's a lot better now, at least i don't feel like a piece of crap anymore and i'm not afraid to be myself.

 

 

But for you, Julia: I don't think it's good for you if you can't enjoy your freetime because of her. I mean, you should be able to enjoy it..and no one deserves to be treated like that. And the thing she said at McDonald's was just harsh, like c'mon who says that to their friend!

 

I'd say take the risk and just stop being with her if that's what you think you should do. It worked for me. I took a risk and it was totally worth it.

Ah that sounds a bit like my situation Rolle.....but what's still different is that treats me well in general....but if it comes to things like that she always acts as if she was something better....another problem is that she is the best-friend of my best-friend...lol...so I don't want to loose anyone else....and btw...my best-friend sometimes has the same problems with her...but well she has a higher self-confidence I guess,...so I was really down because of that tonight....and so I wrote my best friedn a long message on a facebook like thing....so I wonde what she will say about this...

The same happen with boys,if you are not the muscle guy or do not have fancy clothes people can be really mean.

 

I understand that you feel bad for this situation,but you should ask yourself why you started to hang out with her

 

I understand the situation,it does not happen the same but it was pretty close.

 

I use to hang with people that were "important" to feel like I was important too.

Then I realize that I was not comfortable and I did not have nothing in common with those people.

 

I start to enjoy my free time just with myself,and make real friends that care about me and the things I like.

 

Do not feel bad,I am sure you would get over it soon

The same happen with boys,if you are not the muscle guy or do not have fancy clothes people can be really mean.

 

I understand that you feel bad for this situation,but you should ask yourself why you started to hang out with her

 

I understand the situation,it does not happen the same but it was pretty close.

 

I use to hang with people that were "important" to feel like I was important too.

Then I realize that I was not comfortable and I did not have nothing in common with those people.

 

I start to enjoy my free time just with myself,and make real friends that care about me and the things I like.

 

Do not feel bad,I am sure you would get over it soon

 

I agree.

It happened to me, as well.

Julia, if you don't feel good with her, I think it's worth taking the risk especially, as you said, that you suffer from her presence.

Being unhappy with friends is really something that shouldn't happen. That's right, choosing friends isn't easy. You know, first, only the surface. And that's when you get to know them that you see if your friendship will last.

I don't know since when you were friend with her, but if it's since a long time, you've changed since you know each other. Maybe, at the beginning, this situation was ok. But now, you're getting older (positive sense) and this is normal (in my opinion) that you can't take it anymore.

I never felt like i was good enough' date=' if they were going out they always called me the last if no one else wanted to go.[/quote']

 

Ah, being the 5th wheel of the car is simply awful. And if you don't have a good self confidence, it's even worth.

I think she enjoys playing you. She feels much safer hanging out with somebody who thinks she's better, she feels more comfort in those situations. she dosen't even needs you. She has her own friends with the same sick high self confidence, and she takes you for granted, like if all the others will gossip about her or something like that happens, you will allways be there so she won't stay alone.

Not like the other people here that are trying to help you, it never happened to me so I don't know. I'ts just how I see the story...

I never had a high self confidence, and thats why I don't have lots of friends so I don't have this problem.

And it shows that it's better not to be popular and shiny, because that "community" is well known as backstabbing and stuff.

Having your very few best friends who love you as you are is much better.

 

I think you should just stop going out with her, and if she asks what happened just tell her how she makes you feel and you don't want it anymore,and you want some real friends (I'm really waiting for the day that i'll have enough confidence to tell somebody exactly what I think about him right in the face). You can do this!

Bah, I know exactly how you feel.

 

My best friend from 7th grade to about a month ago was super super gorgeous, not typical gorgeous, uncommon so she was noticed everywhere and by everyone.

She had a personality to match to, it seems until she started noticing that "wow, maybe I am really pretty". I mean she never put me down, but it did take a little bit of a toll on my confidence when people wouldn't acknowledge my presence or anything.

 

I don't really talk to her much anymore as we have grown apart, but I have really healthy self esteem I would say. Don't put yourself in the position to beat yourself up.

This is weird. After reading your post Gitta I also had the same this with my friend was more popular than me and girl would also was talk to him and I would get pushed aside. Now I really not friends with him anymore.

 

I was walking with one of my other friends the other day and a saw about 5 people I knew that I said hello and talked a little. Just Hi how are you. So after they leave my friend says why am I so popular? And I told him I am not popular I just am friendly to other people. Some of those people I know from School and Work.

 

And I be hate people that think there better than everone else, because there prittier. I say to my friends that people like me, because I am Sexy. I think its because I am nice to people.

 

But the really difference is that we love Coldplay and people who are Coldplay fans are great people:nice:

I actually have a cousin who is just annoying sometimes and most of my other cousins even the guys don't like her haha which I think it's funny. She's not all that pretty but she's not ugly either. The thing about her is that she I don't know has the need to have all the guys to turn around to look at her and then she'll go on about how this guy told her this and this other guy told her that and blabla and she'll go on about how pretty she is. I've seen guys tell her stuff but I think they mean it as in making fun of her by the way they say it (I always wondered if she ever notices that?) You know how they are some girls that think they are all that and you can tell just by looking at them? Well she's that person.

 

Man....... just thank she's not your cousin, Jules because if she were then you'd be stuck with her for the rest of your life. heh

 

Anyway, I also have a friend who is very very pretty. I didn't thought much of her when I met her probably because she was talking to me and was asking about me instead of the other way which it happens to her all the time... a little too often I would say. But in my case, she doesn't puts me down or says rude comments like that to me nor I to her and we actually enjoy each other's company. She's also older than me so that might help too that she's not childish anymore and at her age she's interested on making a connection and finding true love instead of some random guys who think she's pretty hot to bang.

 

I think you should just think on what she brings to your life and how that affects you? and is it worth it? Making excuses about how she is your best friend's best friend the reason you are still friends with her is not much of a good excuse in my opinion and if your best friends says she gets annoyed by her for the same reasons then that should tell you something, don't you think? :bulb:

Aww Julia, now i udnerstand why you were feeling sad that other time we talked but hey , For what i read, that girl seem to be a a shallow and hollow person. She might think she's better than others just cos she's prettier but in the end it doesnt really matter. I know one thing for sure and that is that we all get old and grey and beuty fades away with time so all you got left is the person that is inside, the real you and that is what should matter but not anymore thanks to beuty standars that were imposed by this age we live though it doesnt have to be this way all the time.

I had a personal exprience when it comes to hang out with pretty people cos i had this girfriend who was a model, she was so beutiful but treated others in such terrible way and i remember she didnt want me to be friends with some girl cos she though she would give us a "bad image" , you know..to be seen with ugly people , she was very shallow so i still wonder why i was with her in the first place but i was way younger and with very lowe self esteem so i thought i'd be 'cool' if i was with her even though she would treat me like crap most of the time.

 

You dont need people like that, they arent good to be friends or anything, a real friend is someone you trust and doesnt judge you for the way you look. Right now i hate that biacth for making you cry grrr! Now really random but i always had this crazy idea that we are little tiny people trapped in a random body that we dont choose, the real us is inside this 'armor' so it doesnt matter what armor you got cos what its inside is what its really important and just dont let anyone bring you down again my dear :kiss:

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww...thanks for all those great replies guys...:wacko:

 

and now to be honest....I'M not even sure anymore how I think about her...because usually she doesn't judge people by their looks...but on the other hand she sometimes laughs at people and well erm says things like the McDonald's thing to me...she also is jealous if somebody has somethnig she doesn't have even if this is a good friend....she can't be happy with others....I don't know how to think about her...on the one hand I like her, but on the other hand she acts exactly as I desribed in my first post-----I'm confused...

 

 

I think you should just think on what she brings to your life and how that affects you? and is it worth it? Making excuses about how she is your best friend's best friend the reason you are still friends with her is not much of a good excuse in my opinion and if your best friends says she gets annoyed by her for the same reasons then that should tell you something' date=' don't you think?[/quote']

 

These are some good questions I should really think about...maybe then I'll find a solution....one thing is that I talked about this with my best friend who is supposed to be her best friend too....and she can totally understand me and thinks the same...but on the other hand she says she still likes her a lot...

 

I think the main problem is jsut that we are way too different....and this can't work...I mean the way she acts is exactly the opposite of the way that I act...:thinking:

 

 

 

 

 

and awwwwwwwwwwwwww thanks Ren for your lovely post...I agree with what you say and I'm glad that there are still people who think like that....I just haven't met a lot of them yet...and I hope I'll catch you on again when I feel like that to feel better afterwards...hehe.:kiss:

 

 

 

 

there is one good thing about that.....I'll probably move out in October and I'm almost sure that I'll get to know people who are like me...I'm sooooo looking forward to this time,....I'll move to the city and search a band there to play in...haah random now but I'm really excited about that....it'd be like a little dream come true....awwwwwwww...because I never had friends who shared my interests and were like me (except my best friend...)....I don't why, because I know here where I live are many people who rather have the same interests like me, but I'm just not friends with them because uhm....probably because of destiny.....

bah same friend a party tonight.....we were all drunk (I still am a bit...).....

 

so before I tell you the story:

 

You know that Germany has been divided until 1990....nowadays there are still many people from west Germany who have prejudices against east german people and the other way round...

 

 

 

so the problem now is:

 

she came outside (at the party, I was sitting there with some other friends...) and I don't even know anymore how we started talking about these prejudices...well she was born in east Germany and I'm a real original west german girl...so she started telling us that some guys who were guests at the bar where she works said that you can immediately see if people are not from here (here=my area where I was born and where my whole family is from...) because people who are born here are damn ugly and dumb!.....well I mean ok if these guys thinks so, they should....and they also said that girls from east Germany are so pretty, open-minded and intelligent!......all this wouldn't have been a problem if she didn't tell it in such a special manner just like "Ha see!I am better than you and prettier....but well actually we all knew that before!:P"..she was telling this as if she was convinced about this theory too!..what the fuck?She really really hurt me for some reason, although I shouldn't care about stupid guy's opinions.....but it was just the manner how she told it that hurt me so damn much....it may sound soooooooooo dumb now but I was almost before crying (ok I was drunk haha....)....but, well it just proves for me that she thinks she is better than me...she also said one day she would fuck herself if she was a guy and saw her on the street......ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....and this is one of my friends?...Oh fuck....freaking conceited.....:sick:

 

 

I wish you guys were german....so I could tell it in german...that would be a lot easier for me...

don't care about she says... maybe she just wanted to get all the attention

sure she wants to get all the attention.,...ALL the time!It just annoys me soooooo much and those things hurt me....bah...grrrr

kill her :wacky:

 

 

 

 

ohh sorry I'm in a bad mood so I won't say anything serious :sick:

Ignore and kill her:P ( don't take it seriously )

^:lol: Good Advice!

lol

Well I've ever felt that too when I was 3rd grade(yeah, I'm still a kid:P)

So, there was a friend. I used to be her closest best friend since 1st grade. She's pretty, quite fun and nice girl. I knew her really until I felt I was her cousin(only dreaming:rolleyes:) and when it was 3rd grade, she was still the same but I think she probably changed. Really totally changed. I don't know why she acted like tried to avoid me without any reasons. I just don't understand either. I always think that she was trying to find her new enemy and avoid me. And one day she whispered me. She said "afi, I just wanna tell you that we aren't not friends again FOREVER!!". Ah well, that was really deep. In each word I'm still remember it until now. I just cant forget that moment. After a few days to go, she was telling to everyone in class that they should avoid me and don't ever friends with me again. It's suck and that hurt. :bigcry:

But now, yeah.. She's still pretty, nice, cool, beautiful. Most of boys in my school are like her. I respect her either. An argument that we used to talk about it but now we are talking again with each other. I just feel like okay, I understand that now me and her are not best friends again. She had it and me too. So nothing happen and everything changed again as usual.:)

haha two people telling me I should kill her...:wacky:

 

 

 

 

well since yesterday I'm in a bad mood, too Lore.....so no problem....

Gah, i hate that kind of people..who think they're so much better than the rest.

I hope you'll get time to sort things out with her..if you want to of course.

Hey Julia I can't sympathize too much but to me it sounds like your friendship isn't working out... if she makes you miserable just stop hanging out with her. Why would you want to put yourself in a bad mood all of the time? And if your best friend gets angry or asks why you're not friends with her anymore, just explain it to her. Or tell her that it really wasn't working out, that you had different interests, blah blah.

If your friend is getting on your nerves suggest to them to have a period where you don't see each other, say for a week.

 

A good friend will understand that you need some space and will agree.

some people have wrote essays in here

 

i wont read them

 

but i will say

 

that she sounds arrogant and almost selfish

 

i've been in a similar situation where it wasn't that i wasn't pretty enough but more that i wasn't ''popular'' enough

 

the person was extremely ignorant towards me, she just suddenly turned against me, it was idiotic

 

the supposedly ''popular'' people didn't accept her and now she has no friends

 

and it serves her fucking right, the tosser

Coldplay remind you of potatoes?

i don't really like coldplay at all

 

i do like radiohead though so i appreciate your avatar