meh lame english homework about the telephone, well it was about a very important invention so I chose the telephone... suggestions? grammar corrections? :rolleyes: :embarassed:

INTRODUCTION

The telephone is one of the most important inventions in human history. It was invented by Alexander Graham Bell in the last years of the 19th century and it changed the world dramatically; allowing people communicating with each other from a long distance by means of voice and with a speed not know for such ways of long-distances communication.

 

HISTORY

There have been several claimers as pioneers of this device; however, British scientist and inventor Alexander Graham Bell, is the one widely credited with the invention of the telephone, being him the person who patented the invention and gained commercial success.

Thomas Alva Edison applied for the patent of the carbon telephone later.

Some other inventors who contributed on the creation of this transmitter were Innocenzo Manzetti, Antonio Meucci, Johann Philipp Reis and Elisha Gray. These scientists worked hard to improve the telegraph and the communication in general, creating developed telegraphs that could emit human voice by wire, making possible that 2 people could hear and talk to each other.

IMPORTANCE OF THE TELEPHONE

The telephone is an invention of paramount importance; it makes our lives much easier and it lead to other fundamental inventions such as the internet. We can communicate with someone who lives far away from our place without moving. It is very useful in cases of emergency; you can call the authorities and ask for help in case you need it.

Now with all the advances in technology, one can use the wireless telephone and communicate with people no matter where one is, it has make relating with other people less complicated and more practical. You can talk to several persons that live in different places to organize a reunion, for example, or you can book a meeting in a restaurant without the need to get to the place. Nevertheless, it has its disadvantages, chatting to other persons only through the telephone will make relations colder and less personal. If you depend on technology and this sort of communication, you’ll be identified as a machine that only works according to its functions. You’ll become a person that, no matter how much you communicate with other people, won’t have a social life.

Conclusion

The telephone has been an essential tool in our lives on the last years; it has improved communications and technology in general. And it is a very useful device, if well used.

 

 

thanks

Hi!

I'm not a native speaker myself...

Hope I can help you nevertheless.

Your original words are in brackets, my suggestions are red:

 

 

INTRODUCTION

The telephone is one of the most important inventions in human history. It was invented by Alexander Graham Bell in the last years of the 19th century and it changed the world dramatically; allowing people [communicating] to communicate with each other from a long distance by means of voice and with a speed not known for such ways of [long-distances] long-distance communication.

 

HISTORY

There have been several claimers as pioneers of this device; however, British scientist and inventor Alexander Graham Bell[,] is the one widely credited [with the invention] as inventor of the telephone, being him the person who patented the [invention] telephone and gained commercial success.

Thomas Alva Edison applied for the patent of the carbon telephone later.

Some other inventors who contributed on the creation of this transmitter were Innocenzo Manzetti, Antonio Meucci, Johann Philipp Reis and Elisha Gray. These scientists worked hard to improve the telegraph and [the] (leave the "the") communication in general, creating [developed] (I think that doesn't fit here, what did you want to say?) telegraphs that could emit human voice by wire, making it possible that 2 people could hear and talk to each other.

 

IMPORTANCE OF THE TELEPHONE

The telephone is an invention of paramount importance; it makes our lives much easier and it [lead] led to other fundamental inventions such as the internet. We can communicate with someone who lives far away from our place without moving. It is very useful in cases of emergency; you can call the authorities and ask for help in case you need it.

Now with all the [advances] progresses in technology, one can use the wireless telephone and communicate with people no matter [where one is] the location, it has [make] made [relating] contact with [other people] others less complicated and more practical. You can talk to several persons that live in different places to organize a reunion[,] for example, or you can book a meeting in a restaurant without the need to get to the place. Nevertheless, [it has its] there are disadvantages. Chatting to other persons only [through the] via telephone will make relations colder and less personal. If you depend on technology and this sort of communication, you’ll be identified as a machine that only works according to its functions. You’ll become a person that, no matter how much you communicate with other people, won’t have a social life.

 

Conclusion

The telephone has [been] become an essential tool in our lives [on the last years]; it has improved communication[s] and technology in general. And it is a very useful device, if well used.

 

 

 

--> You could also say that there is a lack of media richness. In a personal conversation there is always the possibility to see facial expressions which improves communication. Facial expressions contribute a lot to a conversation. "Due to a lack of facial expressions communication between people is more prone to misunderstandings." or something similar...

 

--> I wouldn't use the semicolon that much.

 

--> "If you depend on technology and this sort of communication, you’ll be identified as a machine that only works according to its functions. You’ll become a person that, no matter how much you communicate with other people, won’t have a social life." That is a bit bumpy. I'd rephrase it.

 

 

 

I hope this was helpful!

Maybe some other person here can help you more.

 

Anna

INTRODUCTION

The telephone is one of the most important inventions in human history. It was invented by Alexander Graham Bell at the end of the 19th century and it changed the world dramatically; allowing people to communicate with each other from long distances by means of voice and with an unknown speed for such ways of long-distance communication.

 

HISTORY

There have been several claimers as pioneers of this device; however, British scientist and inventor Alexander Graham Bell, is the one widely credited as inventor of the telephone, being him the person who patented and and gained commercial success for the telephone.

Thomas Alva Edison later applied for the patent of the carbon telephone.

Some other inventors who contributed on the creation of this transmitter were Innocenzo Manzetti, Antonio Meucci, Johann Philipp Reis and Elisha Gray. These scientists worked hard to improve the telegraph and general communication, creating telegraphs that could emit human voice by wire, making it possible for 2 people to hear and talk to each other.

IMPORTANCE OF THE TELEPHONE

The telephone is an invention of paramount importance; it makes our lives much easier and it led to other fundamental inventions such as the internet. We can communicate with someone who lives far away from us without moving. It is very useful in case of an emergency; you can call the authorities and ask for help in case you need it.

Now with all the technology advancements, one can use the wireless telephone and communicate with people regardless of where the person is, it has made contacting other people less complicated and more practical. You can talk to several people that live in different places to organize a reunion, for example, or you can book a meeting in a restaurant without the need to get to the place. Nevertheless, it has its disadvantages, chatting to other people only via telephone will make relations colder and less personal. If you depend on technology and this sort of communication, it can become much more difficult to socialize with other people in person.

Conclusion

The telephone has been an essential tool in our lives for more than a century; it has improved communication and technology in general. And it is a very useful device, if used well.

*notices terrible mistakes* :embarassed: :stunned:

thanks both of you for your help :) I'll print it and it will be ready; thanks a lot...

but I still have no idea how I missed the "unknown" and "led" error :embarassed:.I used a lot the semicolon because Word was bugging a lot about it.

Thanks again :D

hehe my n00bishness is floating to the surface

you're welcome!! :)

 

 

and stop saying you're a n00b!! :lol:

well I got 2.5 points out of 3, but that was because I had to present it and I forgot to take material to make the display better

Thanks

that's good :nice:

and btw why do you want me to stop saying I am a noob?

cos you're not a n00b

Do you even know what a noob is Aleja?

of course I know

I bet you don't

i always thought of noob as one of those things that meant different things from person to person.

 

like to some people it's the mortal kombat guy, and to others it's the army thing they started, and to others it's people who're awful at computer games.