New Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere:

 

Yes…

 

Well… So? I've become addicted to watching the Aussie news. It's beyond hilarious.

 

Honestly, it's like a spoof show "AUSSIE NEWS (MATE)". Someone should do that, it'd be mega. I'd watch it anyway.

 

After the ludicrous episode with the PM's shoe these are just a couple of things that I've caught in between gigs and promo…

 

THE AUSSIE COUNTRY MUSIC AWARDS!!! Yes, indeed. They've invented a new musical genre. Aussie Country. So I'm watching the news and they go to the Aussie Country Awards (The Golden Guitars) where they're interviewing some of the winners of the said Golden Guitars… They were singing like Country, y'all, but talking Aussie (mate). Dressed like proper honest-to-goodness cowboys. 40 gallon hats, leather waistcoats and the boots, but using words like "ripper" and "beady"… Very odd, no??

 

Now the other thing was maybe the weirdest thing I've ever seen on national television news. So much so that when I got down to the Big Day Out site I had to ask a few of the natives for confirmation of what I thought I'd just seen. And they confirmed it like it was the most natural thing in the world, which of course it is to these people. THE ANNUAL TUNA-RAMA FESTIVAL!!!! A festival that celebrates all things wonderful about tuna… TUNA??? That's right, tuna… The tuna fish.

 

Now, there was the (un)usual local news b-roll fodder; interviewing mums, grannies and kids… All having a ripper of a day eating tuna sandwiches and tuna salad and... Well, that was it one would've thought? But no… At the climax of the festival they play a little game called tuna-hurling… TUNA-HURLING!!!! That's right, I watched (checking frantically if I'd been spiked) as big burly Bruces and little burly Shielas and even a granny took a foot long tuna fish… a real fucking tuna fish and swung it round like an Olympic athlete throwing the hammer up a pre-marked out track?!!?

 

And they covered it on the news like it was just a load of drunk people in a field throwing a dead fish around for fun… Which, of course, it was.

 

The scary thing is those were just two of the things I caught. (There was another story with a guy graphically describing how he'd been trying to get two different kinds of dung beetles to mate to make one super dung fucking ninja warrior but, we won't go into that…)

 

What else is going on while I'm away from the TV?? I might have to start getting this shit recorded and shipped to England once a month, it's essential viewing.

 

Anyway, enough of that brilliant nonsense.

 

The gig was good. We were indoors in a tent. It was very, very hot. Seemed to be a bit of a fancy dress vibe down the front. I saw a pirate and a cowboy. We didn't play very well. No one seemed to mind though.

 

Kasabian were having one of their legendary parties at some club or other down town. Last men standing were me and Serge at 5am. A good shift. As we left it was starting to get light… and fuck me if it didn't start to ever-so-slightly rain… I didn't know whether to laugh or cry so I did neither… I passed out.

 

Still raining now.

 

ONWARDS.

 

GD.

New Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere:

 

Yes…

 

So, the gig here in Melbourne was great. (Yes, I'm still in Melbourne! They don't call this the Big Day Off for nothing.) It was at a place whose name escapes me just now, in a suburb called St. Kilda… A real saint? I think not. I mean, I'm no expert on the Bible, but when "they" forced us to study it at gunpoint at school I don't recall a St. Kilda.

 

The venue is most famous for having the oldest neon sign in the Southern Hemisphere!! (There's a little factoid for you.)

 

The gig was a bit weird to start with. It was all seated and the crowd remained so for the first three songs. It was like they were at the cinema… Now I know how the support band must've felt!

 

Anyway, I felt as though I must speak to these people…

 

"Do you HAVE to sit down?" I asked.

 

"NO!!" They shouted back as one.

 

"Well… Can you stand up, please?" I asked again, slightly annoyed.

 

"YISS," they replied in an Aussie accent and up they all stood… Just like that!! Now that did lead to some particularly bad dancing, I must say, but it was a price worth paying.

 

Wasn't much going on after the show so I legged it quick sharp.

 

Was up early yesterday. Went for a wander up town. Nothing to do, and all day to do it. Did pass a strange place which had a sign above the door that said, "VICTORIAN HOBBY CENTRE"?? What the fuck?? What do they do in there? Whip poor people? I was gonna go in to satisfy my curiosity but as I'm from the North they would've probably put me to work as a chimney sweep or a miner or a beggar.

 

Bumped into comrade Serge and another one of Kasabian, whose name I can never fucking remember. Had a bit of lunch… A mad Mexican, if you must know.

 

On the way back to my hotel I passed another establishment that had a sign over the door that said… "VICTORIAN DETECTIVE SERVICE"!!! What the fucking fuck?? Was there an actual Victorian detective inside? With a top hat? And a cane? And a monocle? Holding a massive magnifying glass?? I do hope so.

 

ONWARDS.

 

GD.

New Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere:

 

Yes...

 

I is in Adelaide. Not been up to this neck of the bush for a long time. Felt a bit rough yesterday, dodgy Chinese before I left the hotel in Melbourne.

 

Have a guess who I bumped into in the lift yesterday? Go on...you'll never guess. One half of an 80's yacht rock duo...no? Well, it was one of Hall and Oates!! Not sure if it was Hall or Oates...it was the little fella with the moustache! Which one's he? Fucked if I know!!

 

At the airport we had a full on heated debate about one's favourite chocolate bar. What started off with an innocent observation about how your traditional chocolate bar over here is slightly different to back home turned into a full on finger jabbing swear-fest!! The debate centred round the premise of being in the local newsagents just buying a paper and if you had to choose one bar (or bag of) chocolate which one would you go for? That led to people pulling up chocolate from years gone by AND short-lived classics (Cadbury's 'Spira' anyone?). The whole shouting match took well over an hour...pity chocolate doesn't last that long!!

 

Arrived in Adelaide still arguing. Caught a splendid run of 80's American action show cheese this morning. Get on this, they came one after another...THE DUKES OF HAZZARD!! (Boss Hogg? Remember him?), Magnum!! (Higgins? Remember him?), KNIGHT RIDER!! (That car? Remember that car? Looks pony now!!) and THE A-TEAM!! (Absolute dog shit). What a bill of Yankee Doodle cheese! Magnum was my favourite...that brown and yellow striped helicopter is mint!!

 

Just got back from being out...not a great deal happening here although I did see a child magician in action, some of the WORST busking ever and a poster for an Ozzy Osbourne tribute act. His name?

 

AUSSIE OSBOURNE!! Priceless.

 

ONWARDS.

 

GD.

New Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere:

 

Yes…

 

So, the gig here in Melbourne was great. (Yes, I'm still in Melbourne! They don't call this the Big Day Off for nothing.) It was at a place whose name escapes me just now, in a suburb called St. Kilda… A real saint? I think not. I mean, I'm no expert on the Bible, but when "they" forced us to study it at gunpoint at school I don't recall a St. Kilda.

 

The venue is most famous for having the oldest neon sign in the Southern Hemisphere!! (There's a little factoid for you.)

 

The gig was a bit weird to start with. It was all seated and the crowd remained so for the first three songs. It was like they were at the cinema… Now I know how the support band must've felt!

 

Anyway, I felt as though I must speak to these people…

 

"Do you HAVE to sit down?" I asked.

 

"NO!!" They shouted back as one.

 

"Well… Can you stand up, please?" I asked again, slightly annoyed.

 

"YISS," they replied in an Aussie accent and up they all stood… Just like that!! Now that did lead to some particularly bad dancing, I must say, but it was a price worth paying.

 

Wasn't much going on after the show so I legged it quick sharp.

 

Was up early yesterday. Went for a wander up town. Nothing to do, and all day to do it. Did pass a strange place which had a sign above the door that said, "VICTORIAN HOBBY CENTRE"?? What the fuck?? What do they do in there? Whip poor people? I was gonna go in to satisfy my curiosity but as I'm from the North they would've probably put me to work as a chimney sweep or a miner or a beggar.

 

Bumped into comrade Serge and another one of Kasabian, whose name I can never fucking remember. Had a bit of lunch… A mad Mexican, if you must know.

 

On the way back to my hotel I passed another establishment that had a sign over the door that said… "VICTORIAN DETECTIVE SERVICE"!!! What the fucking fuck?? Was there an actual Victorian detective inside? With a top hat? And a cane? And a monocle? Holding a massive magnifying glass?? I do hope so.

 

ONWARDS.

 

GD.

:laugh3:

 

Bumped into comrade Serge and another one of Kasabian, whose name I can never fucking remember.

:whip: tssss :dozey:

What the fucking fuck??

:lol:

Noel is so hilarious! :lol:

 

I can't wait to see this man! :wacky:

New Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere:

Yes...

 

Well not a great deal going on. Nothing to report and normally I would wait until something happened before I mithered you but someone has just made me aware of a headline they came across on this here internet. Now 99 times out of 100 I wouldn't bother with such nonsense but I feel outraged, so for the record...

 

There is a headline that implies that I am of the opinion that the years spent under the rule of that soon to be dead granny, Maggie Thatcher, was good for the soul. I've read the story and I must say it's very misleading; any great working class art, fashion, youth culture etc came to be IN SPITE of that woman and her warped right wing views and NOT BECAUSE of them. Also for the record, on the day that she dies we will party like it's 1989. Just so you know.

 

ONWARDS.

 

GD.

 

This is a response for this:

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/moslive/article-2094856/Noel-Gallagher-It-better-Margaret-Thatcher.html

:o

 

damn , that's quite a thing to say :p

It seems someone got really angry... :lol:

New Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere:

Yes...

 

Well that's it, my work here is done. I have to say I've had a great time.

 

I love you Australia. Although you are built on a basic principal of petty crime, backpacking, casual labour (usually bar work and mainly in London, around Earls Court and Shepherds Bush) you are full of brilliant nonsense like - Aussie news, shoe stealing anarchists, Aussie country music, drunk people throwing dead fish, the oldest neon sign in the southern hemisphere, colossal American TV from the '80's and bugs the size of Ronnie Corbett. We'll meet again. No 'bout a doubt it.

 

ONWARDS.

 

GD.

 

Bring on the new gigs with the choirs and the three piece brass section! Next one is Manchester, in one week.

Here is the video for Dream On:

http://musique.jeuxactu.com/clip-noel-gallagher-s-high-flying-birds-le-clip-de-dream-on-8581.htm

 

It wasn't upload to Youtube for now. We have to wait for a HD version.

That is a funny video :P

Things were so bad under Thatcher, the only hope they could find was from within themselves, forcing them to do the business for themselves. It was a productive reaction from a ravaged political system. Typical Daily Mail trying to spin things into a pro Thatcher article.

wow great vid ! :awesome:

Here is the video in the official Noel Gallagher Vevo:

 

[ame=

]

[/ame]

New Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere:

So yes, well where were we? Australia!! Where are we now? Manchester!!

 

First night of this arena tour. I used to really, really, love doing arena tours. I loved the feel and the sound and the space etc etc...gotta say after the production rehearsals last night AND after doing theatres since October last year I'm not so sure I do anymore. It all seems too big, too loud, too fucking cold!! I'm sure I'll get used to it though. Bit of a shock how much you forget eh?

 

Got a right firm of people on the road with me. At any given time there will be upwards of 35 people onstage!! The introductions might take a while. I don't know anyone's name yet and probably won't even at the end. Looking forward to it though. It'll be fly by the seat of your pants gear but exciting none the same..we shall see eh?

 

ONWARDS.

 

GD.

Going to see him in two weeks. Should be interesting!

New Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere:

Yes…

 

Now then, that gig last night was just as I thought it was gonna be… A bit big, a bit loud, a bit, well… difficult.

 

Having not played arenas for a few years the step back up the ladder comes as a bit of an unwanted pain in the arse-hole!! I suppose I best get used to it and quickly, eh?

 

Still, there were some echoes of familiarity though… A big punch up down the front during the third song!! Reminded me of them good old days.

 

I had to laugh though when I reminded all the boys and girls in the crowd that it was Valentine's Day today… There were a few booos!!! They booed a day??!!

 

Got off-stage to the incredible news that Carlos Tevez is to return to Man City!!!! I speak to all supporters of MCFC here when I say try not to boo him. We shouldn't be booing our own players, no matter what stunts they might have pulled. We're on course for glory. We don't need him but it might just make the run in a little less stressful… If we must let him know how we feel then we should sing Mancini's name even louder than usual… That'll do for now.

 

You currently find me in Aberdeen… The coldest place on earth.

 

People live here, you know?

 

Actually LIVE here!!!!!

 

Unbelievable.

 

ONWARDS.

 

GD.

 

And some videos from yesterday:

 

[ame=

]

[/ame]

 

[ame=

]

[/ame]

 

[ame=

]

[/ame]

New Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere:

 

Yes…

 

Well, where were we? Aberdeen? Let's start there then, shall we?

 

A great night, I think. Feeling much more at home now up on the big stage. Think the actual size of the Manchester gig may have freaked me out there for a while!!

 

Good singers, that lot up in Aberdeen. Not much happening post show though. Legged it sharpish. Had to be up early the next day to travel to Belfast. A day of pure fuckin' mither! Why is it that you travel the entire surface of the globe… Back and forth and up and down all over the place and everything seems to run like clockwork yet you get back home and all you encounter is delay after delay after cancellation?? Why is that? It's a fuckin' shithole nightmare, that's why!!!!

 

Arrived in the great city of Belfast in the dark and the wet. Not much time to do anything other than order what could only be described as a bit of psychedelic room service. Chicken Maryland anyone? No… me neither. This dish (Chicken Maryland) consisted of some kind of chicken, whether it was fried or not is still not apparent, BUT it came with a banana (which was most definitely fried!). That's right, a fried banana AND a fried pineapple!!!! Now I'm no chef, but fuck me that can't be right, can it? That top Michelin star psycho Gordon Ramsay would have garrotted whoever came up with that masterpiece… Sorry? But what did it taste like, you ask?? Absolutely delicious!! It didn't even touch the sides.

 

So… To the gig in Belfast. A great, great night. Right up there with the best. They were the kind of crowd you would love to take round the world with you. Loud and proud. Young kids too. Very special. My keyboard player (who shall remain nameless) had the gig of his life. If you were there you'll know what I mean… Think Rick Wakeman mid-stroke!!

 

You currently find me in Dublin. Say no more. Tonight will be another great, great night. No doubt.

 

ONWARDS.

 

GD.

New Tales From The Middle Of Nowhere:

 

Yes…

 

Well, so the gig in Dublin was somewhat predictably supermegadoubletop!!!!

 

Another great, great crowd. They've done that venue up, and all… I really, really like it… Well done!!!!

 

Some girl flashed me too!! (Which was nice.) TWICE!! Just in case I hadn't noticed the first time, which of course I had. Thanks anyway. Much obliged.

 

Flew into Manchester airport yesterday and guess who I saw? Go on, guess… You'll never guess… MARADONA!!!! MARA-FUCKIN'-DONA!!!! I've met him before, but still… Maradona? Wonder what he's doing here in Manchester? Visiting Agüero, maybe? Or hopefully come to give Tévez a clip round the ear and tell him to sort his head out!!

 

Off to Sheffield tonight. Playing the big arena. Always a bit special for me this gig as it was Oasis' first ever arena gig, and also where 'Don't Look Back In Anger' was aired for the first time! Good times…

 

Gotta scarper back to London straight after though. Got rehearsals for them Brits tomorrow. Is that a major pain in the arse I can feel forming? I think it bloody well is!!

 

ONWARDS.

 

GD.

 

In Sheffield Arena he played for the first time Don't Look Back In Anger, great version.

 

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3AgQiyOLws]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3AgQiyOLws[/ame]

Ohmy. The songs sound SO MUCH better with a real horn section.

wow never heard that first time DLBIA :o

 

such a young voice :p :wacky:

wow never heard that first time DLBIA :o

 

such a young voice :p :wacky:

 

The lyrics weren't finished. Is almost like a demo.

:dazzled::heart::dance:

 

 

And video:

 

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miVwPbbPN8Y&feature=relmfu]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miVwPbbPN8Y&feature=relmfu[/ame]

^ One of the greatest moments in Rock history!:D

Photos of Noel and Damon:

 

 

:hug: