Kiame Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Hey guys. Don't really know why I'm putting this here, but I guess I just need a place to vent. Nearly six months ago, my little sister died five days after being in a car crash near Amiens. She had head trauma and died of a brain aneurysm on the 10th of May. The coroner thought it was suspicious that the hospital staff didn't act on the head injuries, and instead focused on the injuries to her legs. Anyway, so they made an inquiry and made a court case out of it. Which was really difficult, because we were all trying to grieve whilst there were coroners and lawyers all down our neck. My Mum came to France for the legal proceedings all the way from Japan. Like all legal processes, things started out really - really slow and there wasn't much process. It all looked rather 50/50 and no one was sure of the quality of treatment. But recently a nurse has come forward and has shed quite a bit of light on the situation. Apparently my sister was bleeding from the ears (which, as you all know I'm sure, is a sign of head trauma) when she was admitted into hospital. She was treated by a nurse, who wrote on her chart that she needed head treatment. The chart was then misplaced, and a new one was put in its place - without any mention of her head injury. They did one CT scan quite early on in the process, and it was inconclusive. Throughout the last five days of her life, her head injuries got worse and worse and there was still very little treatment. By the time they realised and attempted to save her, she died. Anyway, now the coroner has claimed that my sister would still be alive if the hospital had acted in accordance with correct procedure. I'm currently in med school, so I'm even more angered by what has happened because I know how fucking simple it would have been to do something about it. It's horrible losing a sibling, but it's even worse when you are told they would still be alive if it wasn't for someone else's incompetence. So I feel like my heart has completely broken. The inquiry finishes up in 2 weeks, but at this stage my family is going to get between 5-10 million euros. 90% of it will go to our relatives in Algeria and Pakistan - who are barely living above poverty and get them houses and passports to live here in France. Obviously this money means next to nothing to us. I just want my sister back. Isn't it funny the only way we can help our family who are in trouble is by getting paid out by the government because your sister died? So I feel like im completely shattered now. I felt completely numb for the whole six months after she died. I guess it was shock? But now i dont feel numb anymore, i feel really hurt. dont really know what to do. I guess I just wish i didn't know. Like I said before, I've got no idea why I'm putting this here.. But I guess I need a place to get this all off my chest. My sister was the most beautiful person in the world. I never met someone with so much soul about every single little thing they did. She was literally perfect. We were brought up in horrible environments, and yet somehow she came out completely untouched by the negativity around her. She never did anything to hurt anyone or anything. Her eyes and her smile had the ability to completely make your day and despite her being two years younger than me, she was my role model. She was also my best friend and I pray to God everyday that it was me in that car instead of her. I wish I told her I loved her the last time i saw her but i didnt i didnt say anything. just before she died in the hospital she was going in and out of consciousness and when i walked in the room she woke up and tried to tell me something but she couldnt speak and she wanted to tell me something really bad and ill never know what it was. Every time i sleep i dream of it and i cant escape it no matter what i do. Tell your relatives and friends that you care for them, because a stranger can take them away literally any second. Live with no regrets and fuck everyone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rainplay Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Oh my god, I'm so so so sorry for your loss..I couldn't imagine that :cry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyrd Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Wow. It's as you say no money in the world can do any justice of you have lost a sibling. I have two dear sisters and this weekend we have been hanging and because we don't see eachother that often we do tell eachother that we care about eachother and of all people in the world - yes including the guy I'm 'dating' right now - they mean the most to me. I'm terribly sorry that you lost your sister, for you and the whole family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connor!42! Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 oh wow, that's so terrible, i'm so sorry for your loss. Like rainplay, i couldn't even imagine being able to deal with a situation like that. I really hope everything works out for the best. i'm so sorry to hear that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Violet Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 OMG, this story. My heart is crying for you, Kiame. I don't know what I would do if I lost either of my two brothers, even if they are jerks half the time. I'm so sorry for everything that has happened in these past six months. :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taameen**sparks** Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 That's absolutely horrible. I'm incredibly sorry for your loss :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ms Magpie Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I'm so sorry for your loss, Kiame. Words can't explain how horrible it is. :hug: :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldplayhebe12 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 That's so terrible. I can't even imagine the pain you went/are going through. :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiame Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 Thanks guys. <3 Sorry for depressing all of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gitta Rensolo Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 oh my this is such a sad story....I'm really really sorry for you....:hug: I have 2 sisters and even if I argue a lot esp.with my little sister I love them so so much....I know that we should tell each other more that we care for each other or show it to each other, but we almost never do...I am the only one of us who'd love to do that, but my sisters don't..... money seems so unimportant in such a situation.... I hope you can keep the memories of your sister forever...she seemed to be a lovely person... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancyk58 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I am so sorry for your loss, Kiame. Your sister was a lovely person and is now dead in such terrible circumstances. So truly sad. May your sister rest in peace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiame Posted October 31, 2011 Author Share Posted October 31, 2011 oh my this is such a sad story....I'm really really sorry for you....:hug: I have 2 sisters and even if I argue a lot esp.with my little sister I love them so so much....I know that we should tell each other more that we care for each other or show it to each other, but we almost never do...I am the only one of us who'd love to do that, but my sisters don't..... money seems so unimportant in such a situation.... I hope you can keep the memories of your sister forever...she seemed to be a lovely person... Fighting is normal but don't let it define your relationship with them. It's okay to fight, just as long as at the end of the day you're all still there for each other. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gitta Rensolo Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Fighting is normal but don't let it define your relationship with them. It's okay to fight, just as long as at the end of the day you're all still there for each other. of course it is normal....and we are definitely there for each other when we have to.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyan Kat Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 I'm so sorry for your loss, I really don't know how I'd deal with something like that :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juanif94 Posted October 31, 2011 Share Posted October 31, 2011 Wow, this story really touched me. I'm sorry for your little sister, with your description of her it seems she deserved to live a long and happy life :( I don't have the right words for a situation like this, but like you said, money it's absolutely nothing compared to the life of a loved one. It doesn't matter if it's loads of money, they won't bring your sister back to life and that's what really hurts. I hope you are alright :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonsu Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 I cried and cried at this Kiame, all my thoughts are with you. In my very humble opinion I you should change the thread title to something like 'money means absolutely nothing compared to those you love' or 'tell those you love that they are so precious to you, because any minute could be the last'. 'Every moment was so precious'. Bless you, be strong please. You say that you wish you could change places with your sister, but from what you wrote I have absolutely no doubt that your wonderful sister would love nothing more than for you to live the life she could not. I might PM you if you don't mind... Again, bless you and your family, so sorry for your loss. Pete xxx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blakexy1125 Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 wow thats really terrible... im so sorry for your loss. even though this is a terrible situation theres a small silver lining that she brought safety and gave your relatives new lives. she died a hero. im very sorry for your lost and i would do anything to bring her back for you. she seemed amazing and how you described her is how everyone should be. i would give my life to bring back an amazing girl like her. im very sorry and i send you and your family my condolences... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiquidSky Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 I am so sorry to hear that. I don't know if the pictures you posted of yourself were recent but you seemed very happy in them. I would have no idea such thing had happened to you. I am so sorry. Take care and I wish you well :hug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuck kottke Posted November 1, 2011 Share Posted November 1, 2011 There's no reason to feel guilty Kiame, sometimes we just don't know what to say in situations when someone we love is dying, we're sometimes too cerebral and relating to the moment can be so traumatic (or we're distracted as you were by the legal wranglings going on) I believe we can't always make the leap, and then the moment's gone. I've blamed myself for something similar, but the shock and strangeness of the moment made it hard to relate and realize in time, then the moment was gone. Your sister's love, her kindness, all the memories you have of her, they will never be lost - that is what her special gift was, the most precious gift anyone has to offer. To loose someone suddenly like that, I can relate - when my grandpa died, he was there and gone in just a day, lost because he escaped from the hospital and was attempting to walk home; he passed out and died on the way. We cried often from having lost him, because he was the most warm-hearted generous loving and full of life of anyone in the family, and he died so suddenly, it was hard to take, hard to believe. You know in your heart what really counts - her love and warmth is the most precious gift of all; if at last she may just have wanted to tell you that everything will be ok, everything will be all right - that was what my dad kept saying to me when he was dying of cancer and was drifting in and out of consciousness; they want us to feel comforted and know we are loved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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