coldplaymom Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 Coldplay Link To Unbearable Arseholes 05-09-08 FANS of Coldplay are more likely to display the personality traits of unbearable, self-satisfied arseholes, according to new research. Jazz fans can go to the toilet on the bus The three year study found Coldplay fans displayed a key set of arsehole characteristics, including untidy, middle class hair, an in-your-face sensitivity, and an aching desire to commune with humpback whales. At a party a typical male Coldlay fan will find the prettiest girl in the room, ask her about the saddest time in her life and then sing ‘Fix You’ until she agrees to touch his penis. Research director Dr Tom Logan, said: “Over the past three years I’ve had to talk to more than 2000 Coldplay fans. I think I’m going to kill somebody.” What does your musical taste say about you? BLUES: White, well educated and rich. No personal problems whatsoever. JAZZ: Cool, deaf, horribly incontinent. CLASSICAL: Intellectual, introverted and a bit of a c*nt. RAP: High self-esteem, enjoys spraying pavement with AK47 and calling your momma a bitch. DANCE: Annoyingly friendly. Constantly moving arms. COUNTRY AND WESTERN: Outgoing, enjoys organising rallies and distributing angry pamphlets. STING: Just fuck off. Fuck off right now. ROCK/HEAVY METAL: Smells of stale urine, thinks Battlestar Galactica is art. CHART POP: Bubbly, outgoing, easy to throw off a high building. INDIE: Self-absorbed, idle. A little shit, basically. SOUL: Sensitive, creative, prone to exaggerate size of genitals. CLIFF RICHARD: Strangely asexual. Until you meet the right priest. http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/coldplay-link-to-unbearable-arseholes-200809051230 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UdaPruda Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 ^The fuck did I just read? :stunned: This is basically keyboard diarrhea... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coeurli Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 lol what in the actual fuck :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kittybitty Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 "STING: Just fuck off. Fuck off right now." Haha. I've been listening to my Sting CDs in my car! Anyway, "article" is ridiculous. I think we're all pretty nice people, don't you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coldplaymom Posted April 4, 2013 Author Share Posted April 4, 2013 Yeah, only posted it for a laugh. :lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonny and the cake Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 At a party a typical male Coldlay fan will find the prettiest girl in the room, ask her about the saddest time in her life and then sing ‘Fix You’ until she agrees to touch his penis. I cant' stop laughing at this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
golfing7861 Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 lolololol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
postcards Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 :laugh4: it took 3 years to study someones arsehole?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batman Posted April 4, 2013 Share Posted April 4, 2013 At a party a typical male Coldlay fan will find the prettiest girl in the room, ask her about the saddest time in her life and then sing ‘Fix You’ until she agrees to touch his penis. Coldlay fan Coldlay Coldlay Fucking Coldlayers man, seriously :no: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corkus Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 At a party a typical male Coldlay fan will find the prettiest girl in the room, ask her about the saddest time in her life and then sing ‘Fix You’ until she agrees to touch his penis. This is disputable. Singing "Yellow" usually works just as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coeurli Posted April 5, 2013 Share Posted April 5, 2013 Fucking Coldlayers man, seriously :no:Those Coldlayers always think they have every rights :no: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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