Guest LiquidSky Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 You don't have to read it if you don't want to. My brother and his wife are out of town, but my nieces are both staying at one of our cousins (she's like 40-something) but before my nieces left, the oldest one (she's 14) was wearing shorts that are shorter than booty shorts.. At first, I thought she was gonna go change but didn't seem like she was going to, so I asked her if she had other shorts to wear and to wear them before she left.. 20 minutes pass by and she's still not moving, and then I finally asked her to change because my cousin had finish eating and she was going to want to leave soon. Instead of her saying "ok" or something along those lines, she starts talking back at me, saying she wasn't going to change and why she had to change but finally ended up going to her room to go change. She took like 30 minutes to change, and I finally went to her room to talk to her (calmly) not that I yelled at her before because I wasn't but I did tell her to go change which she didn't like. I explained of why she shouldn't go out like that and that she was growing up and needs to take care of herself and to dress properly or otherwise, older men, kids, people will start telling her things and how she is not going to like it. I explained that I cared about her and I didn't want nothing to happen to her. She said ok. But I'm still like bothered... I don't know if I'm bothered that she has no respect for myself (I don't think she even sees me as her aunt as she never calls me aunt..) or if I was out of line to ask her/tell her to go change in the first place.. (as I'm not her parents..) This also made me realized that maybe I shouldn't even have kids... Opinions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_escapist Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Don't see why such experience will lead you to think that you shouldn't have kids. Obviously you will disagree with them sometime and they will like things (including fashion) you don't like. That being said, I believe that you did the right thing talking to her about you don't liking the booty shorts. I think it is better if she doesn't call you aunt in the sense that maybe she thinks you are more of a friend (probably not much age difference). You simply stated your opinion. At the end of the day, if she looks up to you, she will realize that you said what you said because you care about her well being and not because you wanted to bother her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiquidSky Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 Thank you for reading. About the kids, it was because I got upset/bothered very quickly that I actually had to watch my temper. I am her youngest aunt, so I'm not sure if I should have said anything because her other aunts (who are married) never tell her anything and I'm not sure why.. I think it may be because they don't want conflict. ^^ IF she does look up to me, I think it'll take time for her to do that as she grows up. She's actually 13 not 14, she will be 14 in about 4 more months Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_escapist Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 At the end of the day I think it is important for you to voice your opinion in a well reasoned manner. However, don't expect her to do exactly what you say. She doesn't have to listen to you, but I guess that she will if she is intelligent. The only ones that can force her to do something about those shorts are her parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiquidSky Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 A well reasoned manner, if only she didn't talk back lol but yeah the only ones that could tell her anything are her parents. Maybe I'll write her a letter so that later on if it does happen again, I won't be tempted to ask/tell her again. :thinking: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobalt Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 I kinda think you're concern trolling a bit, intentional or not. Just in a way that the message you are sending is "cover up or the mens will get you!" That isn't her fault. I have no opinion on her actually listening that hasn't been covered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest LiquidSky Posted May 3, 2014 Share Posted May 3, 2014 I kinda think you're concern trolling a bit, intentional or not. Just in a way that the message you are sending is "cover up or the mens will get you!" That isn't her fault. I have no opinion on her actually listening that hasn't been covered. This. It's not her fault but I've had men where they would stalk me and stuff (which would terrify me) so in a way, I think may be portraying that into her or think about that when I see her. Hopefully, she will be learn as she gets older Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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