Hi all, first of all I wanted to say I'm sorry for my absence and non-responsiveness for a couple of days. I am really sorry that some of you got worried. But somehow I did not have the strength to come back here, it may sound odd but I did not know what to say because my thoughts were a complete mess and bringing it into words even more so. Anyway, I felt like taking some time off from the forum. It's really hard to describe why, and agan
Thank you so much for your kind words (which I did take a sneak peek at during these days from my mobile phone)and for the kind private messages, not all of which I have gotten time to respond to yet. (But I will !)
Anyway, went through some very dark days... [i edited the rest of this long paragraph out now, at the time I wanted to let people know how the story went on but i feel i don't want to archive these details in the depths of the internet, so suffice to say it was a difficult time. Aug 1, 2016]
Thanks. No I didn't wanna make anyone else cry, it's enough if I am already crying ! I did talk to my family, and it certainly helped me to vocalize my feelings and see things more clearly as well as get some advice and consolation from people who are older and more experienced than me :)
Thank you. I feel with you and I gpe you are alright again now. Yes, I have more than once contemplated that living life alone and free of any emotional attachments might be the way to go. Because it seems to me that feelings towards someone always include hurt and pain and deception and disillusionment (I have experienced a friendship breaking already, so....) Yet we humans have the irrational need for each other's company.
I also have the feeling all the time that I could never ever love someone else than the person I love right now, and that if I lost this person I would just stay alone forever because I could never forget this person.
Thank you ! This community is indeed very helpful and supportive. We all know that darkness always turns into light, but it is so hard to see it when you are in the middle of the tunnel. I wish there was something like absolute bliss or happiness, but I know that would be ephemeral too.
Thanks ! Much appreciated.
Thanks ! Yes, you put a smile upon my face :) It is lovely to see how supportive this community is.
Thank you very much for your comment. What you say is so true, just most of the time it is hard to live according to this; we need to actively remind ourselves all the time.
But I've been thinking something similar recently too; all this time I have been waiting (and so are many of us) to get lucky/become happy/ find luck/find happiness. But what if happiness/luck is not something you can find on the outside, but a state of mind that is hidden inside everyone of us and it is our choice to access this resource or not.
For example, I often get angry for nothing and let my day get spoiled by a delayed train or a rude vendor or something. But I am currently trying to change myself, and I have been thinking about focussing more on spreading good sentiments instead of negative ones ("gotta spread love around, gotta spread it around..."). I know it sounds cheesy, but recently I have started wishing I could live my life putting smiles on other people's faces, which in turn will put a smile upon my face too. Small acts of kindness can go a long, long way.
Thanks ! Again, much appreciated.
Thanks ! That last sentence makes me wish I was home...not because I don't like living in other countries (I love it !) but in difficult times it is always easier if you are close to your family and friends.
Thanks for your sympathy. Oh my friend, these emoticons speak for themselves. I wish I could give you some advice but like I wrote above, i did not go all the way through a breakup so I don't know how you can overcome it. But if you need someone to talk to, feel free to post your feelings here or write me a PM anytime you feel like it. Hugs !
Thank you, @iamsue ! What you write about having to go through bad times to appreciate the good is a very sad thought but also very true. Or if you say that bad experiences/feelings have the same merit as good ones, like The Guesthouse says.
At the moment the problem is that I could not imagine ever being in a relationship with anyone else but this person. I don't understand how it would ever be possible to "get over" someone. I'm just a person having a hard time letting go, and funnily enough this includes unimportant things like notes I no longer need or shop receipts from places I have travelled to ! (Don't laugh at me, I know, I know...) I just cannot let go of things or of people I care about and like i wrote at the beginning of this post, I could not let this relationship go even though i know the chances that we are going to make it in a long run are slim. I still hope that by some miracle things will fall into place, eventually..... :-/
Good advice, I'll have to try this out. And you know what this reminded me of ?
Oh, the water, the water, flows over.
I say, oh, the water, the water, flows over you.
(From "Solid Ground", an unreleased song from the Viva Era which is very calm and soothing)
Oh wow, going through these posts has made me emotional again now :(
Sorry for the long post ! Please don't feel compelled to read it if you don't have the time.