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273710.jpg

 

:thinking: paris hilton. I love paris hilton :wacky:

 

paris hilton

she is the best

she is better

than the rest

the rest are not innocent

like paris hilton

because they aren't pedophiles

and they don't make music videos about pedophiles

like sweet

innocent

paris hilton

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I love paris hilton. Wow, I can't even cointain the freaky love I have for her :thinking:

 

her videos ROCK

 

a lot like this rock:

 

P2542_Sol14_L456_zoom-A16R1.jpg

 

which just happens to look like a dump taken by a large dinosaur many millions of years ago :wacky:

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yes, you are a brontosaurus

and that is your dump

which is now a big lump

much like a tree stump

that someone sat on

where once a gnat was on

and he made a house

like his abode

there

and forever lived on the everlasting supply of poo for a little gnat :toilet:

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haha, I noticed you cant play the vid anymore :(

 

if you want you can delete it and I will upload it again, just for you :blush:

 

:bigcry: at first I DIDN'T KNOW !! I thought you meant a different video :cry:

 

BUT PARIS!!

 

PARIS!!!!!!! !11142!!!#!BBQ1!!

 

I can't miss her :cry:

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the beginning and the ending are the strong points of this. I would like to give constructive criticism but I don't know if it might offend so that's all I'll say.

 

A constructive criticism? :thinking:

 

To tell you the truth IDC.

But feel free to comment. I hear you are such a great poet. :rolleyes:

Show me the way!

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...whatever.

Nevertheless...here's another poem.

 

 

SHIT?

 

why do you feel like shit

when the world is still turning.

why do you feel alone

when you're not tired.

why, oh, why do you sound pathetic

when you're trying your best.

why do we treasure lies

when the truth will set us free.

 

truth is shit

worthless piece of information.

 

truth is not here

it ran away.

 

words are not painful

and

pain is not truthful

 

why do we sin

when we're in pain.

why do you sin

when you're not shy.

why do you cry

when you're in denial.

and

why, oh, why do you feel like shit

when all you could wish for is completely free.

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A constructive criticism? :thinking:

 

To tell you the truth IDC.

But feel free to comment. I hear you are such a great poet. :rolleyes:

Show me the way!

 

if you don't want it. just say you don't want it. don't be sarcastic about it. I thought I was being nice because I like when people give me criticism. Not because I like to criticize alone. And I never bragged on myself or meant to be bragged on. But I will say thanks to the person who bragged on me, although it offended someone else.

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^Wanna fight? Do it somewhere else, please.

 

Since I know that bad poets write about only one topic, I've a new poem, a loove poem.

Inspired by the most lovely person I know in this damn weird world.

 

This is called Us

 

I crossed your road, you crossed mine,

Somewhere the sun didn't shine

Away from the crowd's sight

Three spoken words and the light was back.

Sweet paradox, you settled in my heart

Where you switched on that small spark.

 

Our hearts were complete and still are

I'll never let you fall apart,

Whatever stupid people could think or say,

Even if they try to make us running away,

I'll be by your side, my happiness,

Jut to tell you I need you, my strength.

 

Even if I could be killed because I love you,

I wouldn't care, I would go through,

Through death, just to scream you

That I will always adore you.

I'd be dead, my heart'd be still alive,

To whisper you my thoughts 'til the end of your life.

 

This voice, which is taking over me,

Is the key of my deep feelings.

This voice that you, only you, can hear

Will never end, will never disappear.

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if you don't want it. just say you don't want it. don't be sarcastic about it. I thought I was being nice because I like when people give me criticism. Not because I like to criticize alone. And I never bragged on myself or meant to be bragged on. But I will say thanks to the person who bragged on me, although it offended someone else.

 

Khm!

The thing is that criticism is what it is.

And I don't think poetry should be a victim of such attitudes.

Whatever you wanted to tell me, it's not really objective...it's coming from you. And I don't mean to "change" my ways because you told me.

 

Every artist should evolve alone...that's at least what I think.

 

And if you have sth to tell as a comment, feel free.

But for me it will be just that...a victim of your subjectivity.

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Khm!

The thing is that criticism is what it is.

And I don't think poetry should be a victim of such attitudes.

Whatever you wanted to tell me, it's not really objective...it's coming from you. And I don't mean to "change" my ways because you told me.

 

Every artist should evolve alone...that's at least what I think.

 

And if you have sth to tell as a comment, feel free.

But for me it will be just that...a victim of your subjectivity.

 

yes. opinions are worthless. but it is someone's opinion when they say they like a poem as well as when they don't like it. To me it means something. I was going to show you some cliche things that people do. That is not necessarily my opinion since I know for a FACT that people writing poetry do cliche things. And for a FACT, people do not like cliches. It is also my opinion, but it is not solely my opinion that cliches are not as interesting as novel ideas.

 

If you think all criticism is bad then you are wrong. I was not trying to hurt you, your feelings or your poetry. In fact, I was going to try and see if what I said MIGHT help you in your writing. And just because I can help you doesn't mean I think I am the greatest by any means. I am by no means great and I never once remember bragging to anyone about my poetry unless it was a joke. I want everyone in this thread to criticize my poetry. I would actually prefer people to tell me why they do or do not like it than just to say "I don't like it" or "I love it" whatever...

 

The reason I wanted to give you criticism was not to embarrass you unlike you assumed. I wasn't just giving my opinion either, it is a widely shared opinion I wanted to give you. I do not give my opinion solely on anything unless it is helpful. In this case it might have been since I am not the only one who has the opinion I was going to state.

 

I wanted to do what I want other people to do for my poetry. I want people to say why they don't or do like it.

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