Nothing important

[Mojo Pin]

I'm not used to make this kind of threads but it might help to listen some opinions since i'm avoiding human contact in real life right now cos i dont want anyone to see me falling apart.

Well the thing is something happened in my life and i think i'm losing the only person that makes me happy and makes me want to go on even though she thinks she's useless but she's so not and things are just complicated now and i feel so damn lost like nothing really matters to me now, i can't study at all cos i just cant focus, i cant sleep, in fact i stay up til 5 am when i have to wake up and go out at 7 am and havent eaten in like 2 days now just spent the day listening to radiohead and just watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind again and man, that was a bad idea ... it just made me feel worse and seriously there's nothing that can cheer me up and i just dont know what to do, have you ever felt like that?

 

Wish i had no feelings at all..sorry for the crap thread just needed to vent...

 

Cheers

[swallowedinamessage]

damn Ren! i've felt like that a few times too many in the last 6 months and the thing is feeling sorry for yourself at the end of it gets you nowhere...

 

i don't know what the situation is but if you have a chance and you think you can make it work then do all you can to keep it alive because there is nothing worse than not doing anything and if you do all that and it still ends up bad, well at least you tried :thumbsup:

 

you just gotta try and keep focussed and take your mind off it and although you need to work out what to do ... don't let it get to you too much ... listening to meaningful music and watching sad films i seemed to like because you really relate to them when you are in a sad situation but they do make you feel like :cry: ... stay strong then Ren and remember try your best and thats all you can do! :)

 

Good luck mate ;)

[ClearAsCrystal]

It is good for the bond and at the state you are right now, the words written and read right now will probably feel empty. But look inside of you and find that spark of life. You need to. For your own good and the good of those who love you. I do not know you and do not know exactly what you are going thought, but i hope that what i write may help, if even the tiniest bit. I am a human and i love everything good to me. Maybe you feel the opposite way right now, but please try to understand that while you may think nobody can help you and nobody cares for you..they do..just reach out. Like you did just now and hold on to the one thing you do have...yourself. Sometimes people come and go, and that must be accepted. Understand that life may never go exactly as we plan it to, but learn to make the best of it, in whatever way you can...

 

 

if any of this made sense to you ...then i hope it helps

 

:kiss: :kiss: :kiss:

[swallowedinamessage]

i really feel for you Ren because i know what you're going through ... i feel guilty by going to bed now :/ but i'm shattered so i hope you'll be alright ... i really hope everything works out .. speak to you soon :)

[Guest LiquidSky]

What you need to know if why she feels "useless".. Sometimes when a person was abandoned at some point in their life; they feel useless and not worthy.. and their behavior changes also (like betrayal.. basically just losing themselves and hurting everyone that really cares for that person) After you know that.. or actually, you don't need to know.. You need to assure her. Hope things get better for you Ren, take care.. :)

[MAFE]

Tu sabes lo que pienso al respecto!! te escribi sobre ello en un pm porque no me gusta a veces ventilar lo que pienso y prefiero que lo sepas tu solito!!! te adoro y lo sabes! :kiss:

[heineken]

cheers

[Mimixxx]

I don't know what the situation is Ren, but from what I can gather it seems like she's pushing you away because she feels "useless". If what Viri said is true then she could be doing this to test you, to see if you love her as much as you say you do. If someone's feeling a bit down, they may think and act irrationally. You have to try and stay strong and show her that you can be there for her.

 

Sitting at home, listening to sad music and watching sad films isn't going to help you. If you really can't study, see other friends, talk to them, see what they say. It's better than being alone where you've got nothing to do but drown in your own thoughts. Also, you MUST eat Ren, even if you have no appetite, just eat some dry toast, an apple, anything. Having no energy and feeling weak when you're not sleeping is just going to make you ill and you don't want that on top of everything too.

 

Look after yourself Ren and talk to people, be around people, don't shut yourself away. We're here for you. Feel better soon

 

:kiss:

[The walrus]

Its a situation type of situation I think! :D

[berrywoman]

Mimi, Mafe, and ClearAsCrystal all make valid points, Ren.... I too will pm you tonight.. or better yet.. an e-mail..

 

ya tu sabes que yo tambien te quiero como un hermano y siempre estoy aqui cuando necesitas a 'vent' ;)

 

*hugs* ;)

[Piccolina]

Hi Ren!!!

 

Wow, that´s exactly what I´m going through right now... In my case, it´s because of my exboyfriend... Maybe it sounds crazy, but I know exactly how you fell... I just hope that it´s going to be better one day and that the time will heal (almost) everything... I hope the same for you as well!!!!!!! :kiss:

Remember "you know that darkness always turn into light..." !!!!!! (Coldplay - What if... btw a cool song)

[Best u Can]

Oh wow, I read 'nothing important' and I thought it really would be. I've never been in a situation like that nor have I ever felt that bad in my life. I'm sorry you have to deal with that sort of thing. Life really isn't fair.

 

All I know is that I have felt feelings that I knew would be very hard to get over. Time will help you forget little by little and being with good friends (not talking about it, just being with them and having fun) will definitely help. If you really know that it's going to be over then that's what I'd say to do. Sometimes you might need to sulk, but once you've done it for too long as it seems you have then you need to get out and enjoy things.

 

And Radiohead isn't the right music to listen to when you're feeling that low. Personally I think you should listen to the Dave Matthews Band when you're feeling like that. Under the Table and Dreaming or Crash are two albums by them I'd say you should definitely try. Yes, I am saying that because they're a band I prefer to listen to myself. But DMB does something for me no other band does. Radiohead will generally bring you down so you can sulk, you need some music that will lift you up on your feet.

[BlissfullyMuse]

Ren you know you can talk to me hun iv been thro shit this year and im not exactly coming out smelling of roses so please email me or get on MSN ASAP so we can chat i really do want to try to help you hun :kiss:

[Best u Can]

I'm not sure what your girlfriend is like, but I have a friend that has been very, very depressed. He scared me and I was getting frustrated at his stubborn pessimistic outlook, but I decided I would stay talking to him because I knew it's what he needed and what I wanted to do. I wanted to help somebody and I don't think I've ever been able to do that before. Maybe you're in a lucky situation in a sense. You need to make her feel less useless.

 

Maybe she feels useless because she is unloved by other people. I think if she had some good or better girlfriends that would make her feel good then she wouldn't feel so useless. I know a lot of ladies who are living great lives and their friends I know have a lot to do with it. Having good friends will do that to you.

 

And one last thing. I don't know if you believe in God but

Php 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;

7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

8 Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things.

 

I know what it feels with this and I know what it feels like without this, and it certainly feels better with this. I want to move back to this too. Leave your worries to God and if you do believe in God or you want to hear or you just want to make some good friends then you should go to church. That's where I've found a lot of good friends.

[Li_cold]

ohhh Ren, let me tell you something...every person has some bad moments in life even the luckiest person of the world...sometimes when we feel down and sad we can't let the sadness take us, we have to be strong to continue life with our heads up.I think listening to radiohead is not a good thing...maybe you can listen to happier bands Ren...I'm sure it will help you a little bit...when I'm down I'm start listening to clocks and it makes me feel better... :) Talking to people you love is also a very good thing to do...don't worry ren, everything's gonna be ok, you'll see!!! ;) I'll pray for you :) I really hope you get better! :kiss: :kiss: :kiss:

[Mojo Pin]

Just don’t know what to say, I thought I’d regret making this thread now but after reading what you all said I just can say thank you, this means a lot to me .I really appreciate every single comment you guys said. I went through this before and I just thought I wouldn’t feel the same again so I apologize for this thread.

 

And thanks Nigel, you’re so right. Feeling sorry for myself won’t get me anywhere and I try my best to put myself together but it’s just hard cos I kinda have to pretend to be 2 people at the same time, one that everyone can see and think is fine and the other who breaks down when no one’s around but that’s what I’m gonna do, try my best to make this work if I can and say I tried my best cos right now I have nothing to lose anymore.

Hope you’re feeling good man and thank for the support.

 

Thanks Crystal , it actually made me feel better, we haven’t had the chance to talk but your words mean a lot. I know I have people who care a lot about me and that’s maybe one of the reasons I keep it all to myself , cos I don’t want anyone to get upset because of me and maybe cos I’m very introverted . I just don’t open myself up to anyone just a few in real life . I wish I could let her go just like that but I can’t, it’s been 2 years and I’ve put so much in this relationship to give it up. Never thought I’d get to love someone so much but I do just hope I cant fix myself and be strong enough to make this work. Thank you for your words.

 

Thank Josce for those words, I do know why she feels like that. She’s going through something terrible and I just wanted to help her because it breaks my heart when she’s sad, I wish I could take all her sorrow away and carry it on my own but I can’t and the worse is that I’ve had some problems on my own and last time we talked I couldn’t help myself being sad because of that and she felt terrible cos she couldn’t be there for me when I was down and I know she’s pushing me away because of that among some other reasons, she thinks I deserve better and feels like she can’t never make me happy and the truth is that she makes so happy just by being there , if she only knew how lucky I felt for having her love but it doesn’t matter now cos no matter what I say she wouldn’t believe me but I can be strong because I feel she gives me strength to go on and I just hope she realizes of that. I wish I knew what to do to prove her how much I care. Thanks for the good wishes Josce, take good care

 

Mafecita , thanks a bunch for your words too, I’ll reply you in pm as well but you know I consider you a great friend and wish you nothing but the best, thank for your support.

 

My dear choco partner Mimi, thank you for your advise , you’re right I should stop feeling this way and eat something , I did today i could barely stand on my own after 2 days but I’m feeling much better now. And about the situation, is just complicated but I know why she feels like that and maybe you’re right and I just know I’ll do whatever it takes to prove my words to her , she’s probably feeling worse than I do and I wish she would let me get closer to her and help her but I don’t want to push her when she needs time to make up her mind. I just cant even consider the idea of losing her forever cos after all this time and all the thoughts we had in mind, I mean, this was going slow and serious and I liked it that way.. I pictured myself with her in 5 years from now, in 10 years from now.. if I was ever going to get married in 10 years or whatever, it would’ve been with her just to say how serious this relationship is for us cos she felt the same way. I just hate the idea that I lose her and after all this time I tried to be there for her and protect her , someone else will come into her life and treat her like a random girl and just hurt her and the only idea kills me..maybe I’m too emotional right now but I honestly don’t know how to deal with this but I know I have to put myself together and be strong and maybe I feel better after talking about this here cos probably in real life I wouldn’t tell a soul (in fact, I haven’t) I’m not used to feel this way, and I don’t want any friend of mine see me this way, I’m always the one trying to cheer up others, not the other way around ..just don’t want to go back the way I used to be when I was younger, the only idea of that scares the hell out of me. I know I’ve been a pain in the arse but thank for the words mimish thanks for put up with me, hope you’re ok.

 

Ahh Camu, you’re a bless and I love you like a big sis, don’t worry about me, I should be fine just hope you’re ok dear.*hugs*

 

Hey Picoolina, thanks for your words and I so hope you get over what you’re going through because I do know the feeling and maybe you can understand how I feel both I’ll hold on to my last hope and try my best, and I’ll remember that line, its beautiful.

I kinda feel more like this line..

 

“I'm a loser

And I lost someone who's near to me

I'm a loser

And I'm not what I appear to be

 

Although I laugh and I act like a clown

Beneath this mask I am wearing a frown

My tears are falling like rain from the sky

Is it for her or myself that I cry”

 

 

Kirst! I missed you, and thanks for that, I just got here but maybe we can talk soon.. I hope you’re feeling good, I think I’m going out for a walk in a while …feel like smoking, haven’t done that since I was 17 but I don’t know.. Please take care dear and thank you for your words

 

And thanks Eric, I know I should do that. Going out with friends and try to forget for a little while but I just cant for now, I need one more day to put myself together and see what happens, I feel like I might break down in tears any sec and I’d rather be alone when that happens and not when I’m surrounded by people. I just hope this isn’t over, It’s just matter of time and I think I can wait. And yeah ,listening to radiohead isn’t the best idea when you’re down. I’ve listened to them since I was 14 and its like automatic, as soon as I feel I’m lost in my thought I play radiohead , I don’t paint or write poetry or anything like that but I just grab my guitar and play a few radiohead songs and it’s like I’d let all the feelings out through it, sounds stupid I know but it works for me only that this time I can’t even do that..i just feel something inside me is dying and I can’t do much about it.

And yeah I know I’m depressed, its been just a few days now but I’m a mess , its kinda funny how one’s world can go upside down in matter of days.I appreciate all the advise and I’ll try to do my best to make her feel less useless if she still wants me around that is. I know she’s not having support by anyone cos she’s just like me, she keeps it for herself when she feels down, she even hides it from me cos she doesn’t want to see me sad and maybe that’s why she’s making this to me and I understand but I cant help myself feeling this bad. And yes, I believe in god , as a matter of fact my whole family is very religious but I was never like that since I lost someone in my past and kinda blamed all the bad in my life to god when I was just being a coward and selfish but I was just a kid. And that was beautiful, I think faith and hope is all I have now. Thanks you so much for quoting that and for the advise man, I really appreciate it.

 

And Livia, thank so much for your words too, I know I have to look at the bright side, I just don’t see any light now, I just hope and wish this can be fixed.. like when I woke up today I wished all this was just a nightmare . I’ll leave it to god now and I’ll hold on to a dream and wish it comes true. Thanks for your words dear.

 

And thank to everyone else for take your time and try to comfort me, you have no idea how much this means to me. I’m off for a walk now and sorry for this again.

[ClearAsCrystal]

I am really very glad that you are feeling better. it will be difficult to cope missing her. I know that. But you willl get through it. It may seem like you will not. But trust in yourself! i was waiting for your response ...to know how you have been and i am truly happy that you have gotten well. :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: feel good kisses from me Ren!

[*Justine*]

Relationships are terrible this way. They can be really great, but at the same time, they can tear you apart over and over again. I hope you continue to feel better Ren.

 

I recently went through a breakup from my 3 year relationship recently and I am still living the guy (long story). There are still days when I cry and wish I had it all back again. Ya, it's hard.

[ClearAsCrystal]

Oh man, memories made with a relationship are the worst, Justine. All five senses have been used in memories and encountering them can be the worst!

[Guest LiquidSky]

Thank Josce for those words, I do know why she feels like that. She’s going through something terrible and I just wanted to help her because it breaks my heart when she’s sad, I wish I could take all her sorrow away and carry it on my own but I can’t and the worse is that I’ve had some problems on my own and last time we talked I couldn’t help myself being sad because of that and she felt terrible cos she couldn’t be there for me when I was down and I know she’s pushing me away because of that among some other reasons, she thinks I deserve better and feels like she can’t never make me happy and the truth is that she makes so happy just by being there , if she only knew how lucky I felt for having her love but it doesn’t matter now cos no matter what I say she wouldn’t believe me but I can be strong because I feel she gives me strength to go on and I just hope she realizes of that. I wish I knew what to do to prove her how much I care. Thanks for the good wishes Josce, take good care

 

It is said.. That if you talk to someone that had a similar experience to the one you had (I'm talking about her) it helps a lot..because the one you are telling doesn't feel sorry for you and you don't feel sorry for the other person either.. you just feel the pain but it makes it allright now..and if you talk to someone who didn't had any experience not even near to the one that person had.. they end up feeling sorry for you. So that might help her a lot..after the talking it just kinda goes away..but it's really all on her.. :/

 

I hope everything gets better for you and take care!!! :kiss:

[MAFE]

Ren!! solo deseo lo mejor para ti y nada mas...se que es una situa dificil y muy triste...pero tu sabes lo que yo pienso al respecto y tu sabes que todo eso lo escribi porque me importas, me importa tu bienestar y me importa tu seguridad...respondeme lo mas pronto que puedas y espero poder hablar contigo mas a fondo sobre esto...tu sabes que yo te entiendo mas que nadie en este mundo...te adoro muchisimo y recuerdalo siempre! :kiss:

[Christiana]

ren, i haven't read what everyone else wrote, so if i am repeating some things, please forgive. your empathy for your friend is inspirational. it is so hard to want to help someone, and it hurts so badly when you feel like you have failed. and as hard as it is... and as much as you may want to, you can't solve another's problems. all you can do is just be there, but sometimes that doesn't help either - but it is NOT your fault. please find peace in the knowledge that you ARE a great friend, you DO care, and YOU know you have done your best. i guess what i am trying to say is don't let your gentle, loving spirit be depressed because the outcome isn't always what it should be.

 

i am talking from experience, my friend. when my husband died, i shut out everyone who loves me. i didn't want help. i didn't think there was help. i couldn't see the point of anything. to sum it up, it was a really hellish time in my life. but luckily enough, i climbed out of the hole (mainly for the sake of my son). now i find myself facing another trial in my life and i am really scared, but i am leaning on my family and friends to get me through this one. ;) i am going to be gone from here for awhile while i recover, but i just wanted to put something in this thread.

 

i know that even when a great loss has occurred, life is still worth living. there is always something else, sometimes it is just a little hard to see :/ . but don't ever stop trying. for every sorrow, there is a joy. hold on - search a little harder for the joy. sacrificing yourself is not going to help the person you love, it will only hurt the others who love you. it is a chain with no end.

 

sorry for babbling my friend :rolleyes: . i hope you understand what i am trying to say... i am really emotional tonight myself - got to start the fight of my life in the morning. and it is a fight i WILL win! and you will too!!

 

take care of yourself, please. and know that there are people here for you. this site has been such a blessing for me. i can sometimes express myself here in ways that i don't do to those in my life. so reach out - and there will be a hand there to help you up. ;) always.

 

*hugs* from your friend christi!! :)

[ClearAsCrystal]

yes Ren...please get better soon! kisses and huggles to you!

 

And to Christie: We love you and will be here when you return from recovery ... you are one of the strongest women i have encountered here...having gone through some rough patches in your shory life and staying strong..Never give up...anyone! :kiss:

[Mimixxx]

My dear choco partner Mimi' date=' thank you for your advise , you’re right I should stop feeling this way and eat something , I did today i could barely stand on my own after 2 days but I’m feeling much better now. And about the situation, is just complicated but I know why she feels like that and maybe you’re right and I just know I’ll do whatever it takes to prove my words to her , she’s probably feeling worse than I do and I wish she would let me get closer to her and help her but I don’t want to push her when she needs time to make up her mind. I just cant even consider the idea of losing her forever cos after all this time and all the thoughts we had in mind, I mean, this was going slow and serious and I liked it that way.. I pictured myself with her in 5 years from now, in 10 years from now.. if I was ever going to get married in 10 years or whatever, it would’ve been with her just to say how serious this relationship is for us cos she felt the same way. I just hate the idea that I lose her and after all this time I tried to be there for her and protect her , someone else will come into her life and treat her like a random girl and just hurt her and the only idea kills me..maybe I’m too emotional right now but I honestly don’t know how to deal with this but I know I have to put myself together and be strong and maybe I feel better after talking about this here cos probably in real life I wouldn’t tell a soul (in fact, I haven’t) I’m not used to feel this way, and I don’t want any friend of mine see me this way, I’m always the one trying to cheer up others, not the other way around ..just don’t want to go back the way I used to be when I was younger, the only idea of that scares the hell out of me. I know I’ve been a pain in the arse but thank for the words mimish thanks for put up with me, hope you’re ok.[/quote']

 

Oh Ren, no-one is "putting up" with you, we all want to help, I just don't want to see you get ill that's all. I'm glad you've eaten something though. You shouldn't feel guilty about someone cheering you up for one either, that's what friends are for! I guess if she needs time, then that's what you must give her, but let her know occasionally that you're still there for her. Feel better sweet choco Ren *bighugs*

 

:kiss:

[Best u Can]

And thanks Eric' date=' I know I should do that. Going out with friends and try to forget for a little while but I just cant for now, I need one more day to put myself together and see what happens[/quote']

That's understandable, just make sure that you do get out when you're ready. Cuz I know when I was pretty sad recently that just talking to one of my friends made a huge difference. If you have a friend you feel comfortable being sad with you should talk to them for sure. Even if it does make you break down. It makes me feel better :D

 

I'll try to do my best to make her feel less useless if she still wants me around that is.

It's not your duty to change her, so don't feel guilty if she doesn't change. I don't know if you would, but it's not your fault.

 

It's too bad you probably don't have House season one cuz that is the answer to all your problems.....

 

:uhoh: well... it is for me :P