April 28, 200620 yr Could you do this? Have you? I'm thinking about it. Theres a girl I used to date in high school, about 4 years ago, and she was definately one of the better girlfriends I've had. Shes a nice person, really cool. But- she has a kid. Her little boy is about 3 now. She dropped out of school when she got preggers, with some guy she used to go out with who was initially with her, and then kinda took off. She knows where he is, and could easily get support and annoy him but her parents are rich anyway, I think she just wants him out of her life. So I saw her with her kid this morning in a restaurant, and she invited me to eat with them and I did. It was a weird feeling, I must say. The kid's adorable. I go away for a month to England and then Im back home in Ireland, and from texting her, it sounds like she wants to meet then, sometime. I just feel like a little boy when it comes to this. I mean the point of dating is either screwing or going somewhere with that person, and I cant just screw her, so where could it lead? Me being a step dad? LIFE WAKE UP CALL Anyway, could you do it?
April 28, 200620 yr i couldn't. as lovely as the person is. i just don't think i could. i mean it's like bringing an old family into a new one. you get what i mean? i'd rather start anew. that's just the way i see it. personally i couldn't.
April 28, 200620 yr wow thats crazy... i wouldnt know what to do... so she was 15? that must've been hard...
April 28, 200620 yr wow...I never,never thought about it...and can't even imagine it...I mean...I see myself still as very young...like a child...although I'm an adult now....but i can't imagine it!
April 28, 200620 yr Author wow thats crazy... i wouldnt know what to do... so she was 15? that must've been hard... At the time we thought it might've been mine, she had just started going out with this guy a few weeks after the last time we did the naughtyness. I always kinda think, what if that kid was mine.
April 28, 200620 yr Eek. I'm fearing I feel the same way :sick: you should think about it seriously. think about if you're ready to have a child, even if it's not yours :/ hard question anyhow...
April 28, 200620 yr At the time we thought it might've been mine, she had just started going out with this guy a few weeks after the last time we did the naughtyness. I always kinda think, what if that kid was mine. Your life would have been totally different, that's for sure!!
April 28, 200620 yr Author you should think about it seriously. think about if you're ready to have a child' date=' even if it's not yours :/ hard question anyhow...[/quote'] I know, because although it may seem casual now, I could get caught up in what could develop as a relationship. The poor girl, I wonder if she ever gets out on dates now...
April 28, 200620 yr yeah even if it were in the future and i were say 24 or whatever. i just don't think i could. maybe things will change by that time? it depends how you see it reillo. if you can't see yourself just screwing around with her then can you see yourself being with her in the future? starting a family with a child in it already?
April 28, 200620 yr when I was 20 there was this girl (19) with a little kid that had a crush on me... at the time I thought I was too young for that situation even though she was really cute and sweet, I tried to avoid her all the time... didn't want to go through with that... today I wouldn't mind at all... people make mistakes and for me the past of my girlfriend doesn't matter, all I care about is present and the future as long as she's honest with me...
April 28, 200620 yr But actually i think there is a difference between men and women...I mean...most of the time the children live with their mums...so maybe that's why I can't imagine it!
April 28, 200620 yr Author Your life would have been totally different' date=' that's for sure!![/quote'] Damn skippy. Its frightening to think of sometimes.
April 28, 200620 yr Maybe I could.In future, of course and if I love this person.......But it's kinda like adoption.
April 28, 200620 yr Author Interesting Miguel ;) Yeah Julia, its harder for a girl to imagine, I realise that. Its more common in a teenage pregnancy for the kid to stay with their mother. yeah even if it were in the future and i were say 24 or whatever. i just don't think i could. maybe things will change by that time? it depends how you see it reillo. if you can't see yourself just screwing around with her then can you see yourself being with her in the future? starting a family with a child in it already? I just kind of have a bit of respect for her I guess, just screwing around with her would be a bit disrespectful... I know shes fragile, she feels lonely. Its hard to just date guys and see them when you have a kid, I know she hasnt dated much since, and if I go out with her, shes going to want to hold onto that, even if she doesnt like me a whole lot, just for someone to keep her company. Screwing around with her would be also screwing around with her head. So no, I cant really see myself stepping into a father figure role, its just what I see by default.
April 28, 200620 yr In a few years I could and would go out with a daddy. I don't see anything wrong with it, in fact, my mom started dating a guy when I was like 6 and my brother was 2, they got on really well and they were together for 9 years (he's my little bro's father)
April 28, 200620 yr I know, because although it may seem casual now, I could get caught up in what could develop as a relationship. The poor girl, I wonder if she ever gets out on dates now... yes indeed but she made a "mistake" and now she can't really choose...to have a child is great in my opinion, but in this early stage... :/ is quite hard. and where are her parents? because they really should help her :\
April 28, 200620 yr Author She lives with them, who said they arent helping her? She still needs a social life.
April 28, 200620 yr At the time we thought it might've been mine, she had just started going out with this guy a few weeks after the last time we did the naughtyness. I always kinda think, what if that kid was mine. ah yes i was thinking this. so did you pop your sweet cherry with this girl?
April 28, 200620 yr Interesting Miguel ;) Yeah Julia, its harder for a girl to imagine, I realise that. Its more common in a teenage pregnancy for the kid to stay with their mother. I just kind of have a bit of respect for her I guess, just screwing around with her would be a bit disrespectful... I know shes fragile, she feels lonely. Its hard to just date guys and see them when you have a kid, I know she hasnt dated much since, and if I go out with her, shes going to want to hold onto that, even if she doesnt like me a whole lot, just for someone to keep her company. Screwing around with her would be also screwing around with her head. So no, I cant really see myself stepping into a father figure role, its just what I see by default. that's the thing. there's no use doing the sympathy date with her if you can't see yourself staying longer and as a father figure to her child. she's obviously going to want to hold onto you more out of loneliness and not being able to freely date people because of having a child. you seem like you don't want to hurt her but if you're going to take this further i think she'd rather you left her now than if you left her after say a few months when she would want to hold on more.
Create an account or sign in to comment