:uhoh: Bad title.

 

 

 

 

Okay. So this idea sprung up in the messy rooms thread.

 

 

 

I am almost positive that parents disagreed with the things we disagree with now.

 

 

I am sure they hated cleaning their rooms, I am sure they would have liked to stay out later, I am sure they wanted to do this and that at an earlier age than they were being allowed to.

 

 

So then these same parents of ours became what they must have complained about as viciously as we do now.

 

 

I don't know if I could ever be ready for that parent role that changes you from the complainey kid now, to the domineering parent.

 

Cuz now, I always say: "That rule is SO going out of my book..when I have kids.

 

 

But obviously that changes when you see how much parents were just trying to protect you...i guess.

 

 

I just wish I could tie in a firm hand AND get rid of rediculous rules. I want to be able to know where the lines are....BEFORE my kid feels like he's getting screwed over...the way most of us feel now.

 

 

Crystal

i really have no idia what kind of parent i'm gonna be like

because when i'm mad at my mom...i always tell myself that i'm not gonna do something like this to my child

but overall my parents are great...they love complaining about everything but they still great :smug:

I dont hate the way my parents are :uhoh:

I dont hate the way my parents are :uhoh:

 

 

a large part do hate/dislike their parents motives, ideas, and ways.

 

 

you are a shiney star indeed! :wacko:

I hate the way mine have such old fashioned ideas. I'm barely allowed out of the house anymore and whenever I do go out with friends my parents always have to know a bit about their families. They should just trust that I wouldn't be friends with murderers etc. I'm certain I won't be like that when I'm older!

It can be a scary world full of scary ppl. I can understand why parents are annoyingly protective and want to know where you are and who you're with. My mom did, and If I had a teen-aged daughter, I'd want to as well. But I would never entarrogate my kid the way my mom did. If you had my mom, and you went to say a Coldplay concert, she'd phone the venue at 11pm and make the staff track you down...if she let you go at all. There has to be a happy medium!

 

Mine also believed in spanking...something which I will NEVER do to any child of mine.

 

But...mine also believe in being conservative with heat, water and light...in a way, she was ahead of her time with that, and it's something I would raise kids with...they'd hate me for nagging them about turning off the lights when they leave the room...lol!

 

We learn what to do and what not to do from our parents and then try to put it all together in today's world...and noone ever gets it right!!!

 

But I think if you act with love in your kids' best interests, they'll forgive you when you screw up.

No. :bigcry:

 

no no no no no :bigcry:

No. :bigcry:

 

no no no no no :bigcry:

I'm guessing from reading your posts on this subject on other threads, you're way too cool to ever turn into your mom!!

I'm guessing from reading your posts on this subject on other threads' date=' you're way too cool to ever turn into your mom!![/quote']

 

:D that's assuring. :nice:

All I mean is that you have a bit of a psycho-mom...only from what you've said...and that rather than make judgements on others, you tend to talk it through...like you do on the board. I hope I wasn't being hurtful. From what you've said, I can't imagine you and your mom turning out to be the same!

oo, did you think i was being sarcastic? cuz, i wasn't... at all, heh. just so you know. :)

 

it's seriously reassuring to hear from someone else that they don't think i would turn into my mom. all i hear is "oh, you'll say 'when i'm a parent i won't do this...' and you'll end up doing it yourself without knowing it"--i dread that all the time. :cry:

 

and when I talk to my friends about how I don't want to be like my mom, they say "oh, you're mom seems nice, why not?"

 

anyway. :)

I'm guessing from reading your posts on this subject on other threads' date=' you're way too cool to ever turn into your mom!![/quote']

 

So you are saying her mum isn't cool?

I dont hate the way my parents are :uhoh:

 

Same with me....

 

there is no thing I hate about my parents way in bringing me up...they do a good job..:D

I know one thing, i will NOT be like my parents. i love them, but they have no clue how to parent, given they provide well for me and all but they still dont understand how to do it.

I think my parents have done a good job and all they just need to get with the times.

So you are saying her mum isn't cool?

Don't worry. She isn't. :smug:

Same with me....

 

there is no thing I hate about my parents way in bringing me up...they do a good job..:D

 

yay! :blush:

i don't like how my parents act towards me, at least in some regards. i've already promised to myself that i'll try to be a better parent, because they way it is now, i can't really be happy with it.:thinking:

i dont hate the way my parents are actually.

they are not strict like my friends parents are......i get on with both well

I would like to be like my parents are because I like how they are parents. Because they don't want to be my friends, they just want to have a good relation with me.

I just wish I could tie in a firm hand AND get rid of rediculous rules. I want to be able to know where the lines are....BEFORE my kid feels like he's getting screwed over...the way most of us feel now.

 

 

Crystal

that's a good goal to have... having a clean room isn't going to make someone great. Having a positive personality will. If we can avoid confrontation with stupid issues like cleaning then we should be able to work on the important things like being friendly, trustworthy, etc

overall I agree with the way my parents have trained me and everything was their choice. I don't regret anything they did and they shouldn't either. But for my kids if I have any I hope I won't force them to do unimportant things. The important thing is doing the right thing for one's self, for others, and God. And cleaning their room has little to do with any of those things

...I mean, I hate walking into those houses where you have to watch your step...

 

It all ties into the messy-messy, neat-neat concept:

 

When a room is perfectly clean, you tend not to want to be the person to make the first mess..and you feel so uncomfortable..you watch your step to not make a mess. BUT if its kinda messy, you don't mind so much to make a mess ...

 

 

so i like it a little ragg-ed.

this makes perfect sense.. totally true crystal

 

oops.... I triple posted... well I didn't want to bump the other thread

oo, did you think i was being sarcastic? cuz, i wasn't... at all, heh. just so you know. :)

 

it's seriously reassuring to hear from someone else that they don't think i would turn into my mom. all i hear is "oh, you'll say 'when i'm a parent i won't do this...' and you'll end up doing it yourself without knowing it"--i dread that all the time. :cry:

 

and when I talk to my friends about how I don't want to be like my mom, they say "oh, you're mom seems nice, why not?"

 

anyway. :)

 

 

^^ same boat! same boat!

 

 

my friends say that my mom seems nice..and she can do this well, and she supported FOUR kids on her own until she got remarries "what a hero" is all I say.

 

I will forever be grateful that she did raise us and didnt put us up for adoption.

 

BUT what my friends SEE is not what i LIVE ...of course, most parents are pretty secret in a crowd of the things they say..but when its just in the family...they become like ..monsters or something... well, speaking for me personally.

 

 

There are many things I would want to be done differently, and like you said, lyssa... I dread even THINKING that I might be an ounce like her.

overall I agree with the way my parents have trained me and everything was their choice. I don't regret anything they did and they shouldn't either. But for my kids if I have any I hope I won't force them to do unimportant things. The important thing is doing the right thing for one's self' date=' for others, and God. And cleaning their room has little to do with any of those things[/quote']

 

 

YES!

 

I don't think that messy rooms are bad until it like, stinks in there. Then that means they're DIRTY. That is where I draw the line. Like if there is long time unwashed clothes, and dust everywhere..that is a no no in my book.

 

BUT if its like .. a some clothes that is clean, or some art stuff...or cords everywhere.. okay. Its not DIRTY.

 

 

But my parents are the fanatically bibilical kind type that say '" if you are going to be good in the big things, then be good in the small things too." (a verse in the bible, in my own words) so they said if I wanted to consider myself a good person, I had to make sure even the littlest things were done well. That meant to them cleaning my room.

 

BUT I don't think (like you said Eric) having a messy room puts your character in jeapordy... if its DIRTY then yes.

Because I do want my kid to be clean.

Because cleanliness is a good character trait (specially as a christian)

 

:wink: