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cant we be friends?


Petit Prince

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i met a guy about two months ago, who was very friendly but somehow we never got on well with each other. however, thats what i think. he was a workmate of mine, so i happend to see him everyday. whenever we discussed something, i disagreed with almost everything he said. hes a nice person but we really have nothing in common.

 

he kept inviting me and i went out with him one day, just in a club in the city. i danced with some guy and he got extremely jealous and angry. i somehow felt sorry for him, so we left.

 

he started arguing on the way home, said how selfish and mean i was. he called me in the morning and said that he couldnt sleep because of the things that happened the day before.

 

he once talked to me in a lunch break and asked me what he was doing wrong and why we dont get on better.

 

however, he left england to return to his country a few weeks ago and he kissed me before i left. i felt akward but i didnt say anything because many people do that with friends, just to say goodbye. i was working at a computer when he was going to leave but he never. he just stood next to me as if he expected something. he was about to kiss me again when i looked at him and he obviously realised that i dont want him to do this, so he left saying how much hes gonna miss me.

 

he keeps sending me messages since then and i really dont know how to tell him in a nice way that i dont want him to do this. i often told him that i like him as a friend but i dont want more but he dosnt want to understand this even thugh he knows, that we dont even get on well.

 

have you ever been in a similar situation?

 

how could you tell this someone in a nice way even though you told him the same thing serveral times before?:embarassed:

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Tell him you have a bf. - Blunt but hopefully he'll get the message.

 

Youve already broken his heart so to shatter his hope as well is all thats left to do.

 

He needs to move on, and hopfully you'll still be a friend to him, but yea he needs to know its impossible.

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hes a nice person, you know. and i always try to treat people like i wanna be treated but maybe i was way to nice that he doesnt really accept a no as a no. i really dont wanna hurt him but he doent seem to understand me.

 

he also says he cant wait to be back and i dont even know how long ill stay in england. id like to spend some more time here but who knows?

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Tell him you have a bf. - Blunt but hopefully he'll get the message.

 

Youve already broken his heart so to shatter his hope as well is all thats left to do.

 

He needs to move on, and hopfully you'll still be a friend to him, but yea he needs to know its impossible.

 

he probably thinks i do but still he doesnt give up. i happen to spend quite a lot of time with a flatmate and he keeps asking me about him. he once asked me if i had slept with that guy and he didnt believe me when i said i didnt.

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well youre probably right but he happens to be extremely sensitive. it even hurted him when i dance with some other guy in a club or when i didnt really speak to him after work and just asked if one of me workmates was back from town. yeah, he told me that later...

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I've never lived such situation but I can guess the way he feels. He is in love, perhaps since the first day he met you, so probably, he has never seen you as a friend and in his inner, he still have the hope that you will love him one day (well, maybe not that much, but that you'll give him the opportunity to go out together).

 

I don't think you can do sth about this issue... Concerning to what you've said, you've showed him your feelings, that you'll never see him as sth more than a friend so... I presume he needs more time for accepting this and maybe then, he'll be able to be your friend, not before. Anyway, in my opinion, it's hard to be only a friend of somenone who you love. :uhoh:

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well youre probably right but he happens to be extremely sensitive. it even hurted him when i dance with some other guy in a club or when i didnt really speak to him after work and just asked if one of me workmates was back from town. yeah, he told me that later...

 

He read things the wrong way, so it's his problem.

You're gonna have to make sure he gets the message once and for all!

Where's he from?:thinking:

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Grrr. I totally have lived this.

 

 

I was friends with this guy and he seemed to misinterpret out relationship (which was an amazing thing) (which makes me question whether you can have such a platonic relationship and STILL be friends)

Anyway. We had a blast everytime we hung out and I never hinted as to anything more than friends. I think I made sure of that, actually. Because this situation has happened more than once, unfortunately.

 

Well, I then started hearing that he felt more for me than I wanted him to. He then tried to get intimate with me when we hung out (you know, wanting to hold hands, trying to hug at me)

So I did what you should do and started seeing him less. And this completely upset him and I felt sorry for him because while I did, and I knew he did want to hang out with me and have a good time... I knew that if we saw each other he would just have stronger feelings for me.

 

Now we just have a loose friendship and he has a girlfriend, I have a boyfriend. And my current boyfriend is his ex-best friend now, because of his feelings for me.

I know he still has them, but he covered it up by dating other girls. But the first one he went out with after me...she met me later by chance and said

"So you're the girl Mike kept talking about!...I broke up with him because he always kept talking about you."

 

PND

 

He still feels the same way and the worse part is that, in the process, there were some broken friendships. What a lose.

 

Honestly, having gone through this...I have to tell you sally. .. that if the guy is hung up on you...there's not much to do but give it time. Maybe lots unless somehow the magic stars give him something and he just up and forgets about you. I would tell his guy Mike in the most blunt way to shove off, but that didn't phase him. He didn't care how mean I was he just wanted to be with me.

 

 

O vell!

 

 

Seriously. Just give it time, and stay away from him.

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thanks for your reply. sorry that i havent seen it before.

 

@ Iris so true. he keeps sending me messages and i didnt reply to all because i hoped hed realised but he never. i dont think i could have him as a friend if he acts like this. i told him that i have a boyfriend but he hasnt changed his behaviour since then.

 

@ mark hes from ghana.

 

@ crystal must be a really difficult situation, i suppose. even worse if hes in a relatioship and he still wants you. that must be really hard for his girlfriend once shell realise.

 

a friend of mine is a bit like that... hes had many relationships (which never lasted long) but he only ever seems to have feelings for one girl. shes his ex-girlfriend though but shes been going out with some other guy for more than two years now.

 

thanks for your advice. i will stay away from him at the moment because hes in africa and im switzerland, so its not that difficult. still he keeps sending me messages and he desperately wants to get in touch with me.

 

ill be back to england in a month or so and he might. (hes trying to get a visa). so well see. i might not even tell him but i kinda feel bad about it.

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he keeps sending me messages. he recently wrote that i should stop being so formal when i write emails to him because we're good friends. no, we're not. i only wrote them, because me boss told me to. i've nothing against him, he's a nice person but im not interested in him. i told him (again) that i have a boyfriend but he keeps sending me messages. its getting more and more annoying.

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he keeps sending me messages. he recently wrote that i should stop being so formal when i write emails to him because we're good friends. no' date=' we're not. i only wrote them, because me boss told me to. i've nothing against him, he's a nice person but im not interested in him. i told him (again) that i have a boyfriend but he keeps sending me messages. its getting more and more annoying.[/quote']

 

Sounds like he's getting a bit "stalky"!!:stunned:

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He might be hoping you'll take him back to Switzerland!!:P

 

no way. Why should i?

 

I mean I feel sorry for him for what happened. You should be allowed to enter a country if you do have a visa... but that doesnt justify what he does to me. thats just annoying and he knows that.

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