"Knock knock..."

 

"Who's there?"

 

"Interrupting cow."

 

"Inturrupt...."

 

"MOO!"

Boo!!:dozey:

That's still not good. :laugh3:

 

 

"Interrupting starfish" is better...

 

Knock knock!

Who's there?

Interrupting starfish!

Interrupting--

*palm to face*

A man walked into a bar...ouch. :rolleyes::dozey:

Have you met my "friend" rocket launcher?

why did the ant not eat the sugar?

because it was diabetic.

 

 

now that is such a bad joke :dozey: :laugh4:

in the right company, jokes this stupid are hilarious.

Hahahahaha :lol: so funny!!!!

A man walked into a bar...ouch. :rolleyes::dozey:

 

 

 

Oh God, this joke made me laugh so hard! I'm still laughing actually :rolleyes: . Darn, I must be mad :P

two balls are going around a corner......

 

my friend's favourite joke....haha

What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen

What do you call a Chinese woman with one leg? Irene

 

:freak:

Why did the Spanish king put concrete on his arm?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To make his arm-'arder :wacky:

how can you escape math?

add 1/2 and 1/2 together and climb out the whole.

 

:square:

how can you escape math?

add 1/2 and 1/2 together and climb out the whole.

 

:square:

 

Ha...ha... :shy::uhoh: That made me think of this thing I am always tempted to write on invitations...

 

be there or be the product of a number multiplied by itself! :square:

A man walked into a bar...ouch. :rolleyes::dozey:

 

I was going to say that one... :dozey::lol: Though it got old for me about 15 years ago... :stunned:

The most stupid joke I've ever heard.

 

 

Two man were walking down the alley.

A brick fall of the building, knocked one out.

And the other one's name was Mate.

:thinking:

^hahahahaha.....:laugh4:

 

I must admit I find that one funny.....:embarassed:

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply.

 

The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"

 

"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.

 

The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."

 

"Of course," replies the second man.

 

I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?"

 

"Dublin," comes the reply.

 

"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."

 

"Of course," replies the second man.

 

Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"

 

"Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62."

 

"This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"

 

About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender.

 

"Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

 

__________________________________________________________

 

 

 

Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"

 

So the first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell -- but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."

 

"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.

 

The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.

 

"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."

 

Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.

 

The third man came to the front of the line, and again Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.

 

"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding inside a refrigerator..."

A duck walks into a bar, and says to the bartender,

"Do you have any lipgloss?"

Bartender says "Yes, what do you want it for?"

Ducks says, "I dunno, just put it on my bill"

 

Baaaaaaad.

Two High Buildings are talking. The first one says "I'm going in the cellar to make some pullovers", the second one says "But tomorrow it's christmas!"

"So? I'm not going anyway..."

 

Okay, that one sort of sucked.

 

Says one tree to another "What a shame trees can't speak"

 

 

and I got one about sharks that only works in German...

Two High Buildings are talking. The first one says "I'm going in the cellar to make some pullovers", the second one says "But tomorrow it's christmas!"

"So? I'm not going anyway..."

 

Okay, that one sort of sucked.

 

Says one tree to another "What a shame trees can't speak"

 

 

and I got one about sharks that only works in German...

 

Is it the one about the Japanese guy??:rolleyes:

Two High Buildings are talking. The first one says "I'm going in the cellar to make some pullovers", the second one says "But tomorrow it's christmas!"

"So? I'm not going anyway..."

 

Okay, that one sort of sucked.

 

Says one tree to another "What a shame trees can't speak"

 

 

and I got one about sharks that only works in German...

 

 

You mean "H(a)i!" "Wo?"------???

You mean "H(a)i!" "Wo?"------???

 

So I take it your computer's working now??:rolleyes:

A duck walks into a bar, and says to the bartender,

"Do you have any lipgloss?"

Bartender says "Yes, what do you want it for?"

Ducks says, "I dunno, just put it on my bill"

 

Baaaaaaad.

 

Are you kidding? This one is fantastic! :laugh3: :laugh3: :laugh3:

 

This one is terrible:

Little Jon came into the bakery and said: hey, I want a lasagna!

The man replied: oh no, we don't have lasagnas here, all we have is bread...

Jon: ok, give me one then...

 

 

:freak: x 94255!

"What sits in a tree, is round and orange and keeps yelling: I'm an orange, I'm an orange, I'm an orange ?

 

A mandarin very full of himself.:P"

 

 

Now the first time I heard this I laughed to extremely hard. Oh boy. :laugh4:

One of the oldest, corniest jokes of all time:

 

Man goes into chemist's.

 

Woman at counter: How can I help you, sir?

Man: I'd like 99 condoms please......................

Woman (shocked): 99? F*ck me!!

Man: You'd better make that a hundred, then!!

 

:rolleyes: