April 8, 2011 - submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

 

Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

When I answer questions of a personal nature, Coldplay.com readers often get in touch with their own thoughts. Every Friday we now have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each week (with the question asker's permission) we open up a question to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I'll post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 200 words, to [email protected] before Thursday 14th April.

 

"Last May my parents decided to get a divorce, which was actually a positive thing because my dad was abusive to my mother. He's already remarried and I've never met the woman he married, nor was I invited to the wedding. I decided to cut my dad out of my life because he isn't a good person, but I still have really mixed feelings because he's my dad and I love him, and he only was bad to me a few times growing up. Anyways, ever since then I've been feeling sad non-stop, I don't want to get out of bed in the mornings, the things I used to be passionate about don't interest me anymore, and even though I'm a really good kid, I find myself doing bad things that I never would've done before. I'm afraid that I might be depressed and need some kind of help before I get worse but I don't want to tell my mom and have her make a big deal of it. What do you think I should do? Elizabeth."

 

Look forward to seeing your replies.

The Oracle

 

 

The Oracle Replies:

 

Please email your replies to [email protected]

April 8, 2011 - submitted by Ana, United States of America

 

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION - #20

I turned 20 this summer and I'm having trouble getting used to not being a teen anymore. It makes me very sad sometimes. I think its because I'm a little scared about growing up and having all these responsibilities, like finding the right career and getting a good job. For some reason I feel really old sometimes, but then I feel like I'm not mature enough for my age. I'm just so confused. Did you go through this or am I the only one?

 

Really hope you answer this one.

 

Thanks,

A

 

 

The Oracle Replies:

 

I find this interesting Ana because I myself do not recall having any feelings about leaving my teenage years behind. My twenties and thirties however...

Joking aside, in the last few years I have known two 19 year olds and they both had opposite views of turning 20. One couldn't wait to lose the word teen from the age and the other wanted to stay as a teenager and as you say, free from responsibility.

I'm a lot older than you and although I have obviously made many huge decisions regarding jobs, partners, homes etc. I promise you that I still have loads of fun acting the fool and being incredibly silly and perhaps even being immature. I'm an adult but I don't feel grown-up. It can be whatever you want it to be. There's a time and a place for it all of course but you will probably find as time goes on you will become more and more comfortable in your own skin. You will make mistakes; some you shall learn from. You may repeat mistakes but it's all part of life so don't worry too much. Try not to put pressure on yourself. Embrace your age but remember it's a number of years you have been on the earth. A birthday doesn't have to result in immediate maturity. Just be yourself and let things evolve in their own natural time. Over to you...

 

I definitely felt/feel the same, while I was even younger. Discussing politics with your friend's parents can do that (and then there's those moments where I wish I were still in Kindergarten so I could just go crazy with a set of crayons). So we've established you aren't alone, but it doesn't solve your problem. My advice: "People don't grow up, they grow old". "You are as young/old as you feel". Pursue the things that you love as long as you still can. Happy people are successful ones (in all aspects) and some I know have had three careers before settling. Love & Live! Ness.

 

What you are experiencing is totally natural! I freaked out at about 22 when I finished uni. However, now that I'm looking back, two years later, I realize that it helped me mature. It was a natural process that I had to go through in order to grow up and find my way in life. I know it is very scary right now but give it time and you'll see. These 'adult stuff' that you have to deal with are like riding a bike (such a cliche I know!) It seems difficult at first but all you have to do is climb on that bike, have someone hold you for a while and then you'll do it all by yourself and feel foolish for being scared in the first place. Good luck and I'll see you at the finish line. Good luck! Ira from Greece.

 

What a beautiful state of being Ana, if you were my sister I would hug you and congratulate you in your insight of what it is to grow and be YOUR own person in this world.

The insecurities and confusion I found, come from trying to fit into expectations that we hold on ourselves based on beliefs that we learn in our societies.

The truth I hold onto every time I feel like you, is: everything is relative, and the only point of reference that matters is your soul. Be yourself and see happiness. I have shared the feelings you experience, every time something changes and decisions need to be made. That is just life. The trick is, to know yourself and be sure not to confuse who you are with what the outside world says you are. Take good care. Monica.

Fear not, Ana..you're not alone on this for i've been having a quite similar issue. I'm 22 but i still feel like i'm supposed to be 14. Responsibilities do get bigger as we grow up, like you said, finding a right job. Honestly, I can't give you any advice on this but I've got to tell you that maturity is something that comes to you naturally as you go through this life, no matter how old you are. So, be positive and think positively about your life, do what you really want to do, if you have to get a job, then get a job that really suits you and makes you comfy because life is too short to waste on unnecessary blues. Life will shape your mind, change your way of seeing & judging things and make you a mature person. Cheers. Your friend, Denny.

 

It's natural to be fearful at times during our lives. I certainly do feel a little fearful on occasion. I'm an older adult (I'm 37) and have been through a divorce, have three children, work, etc. and I do think sometimes about how life is overwhelming when there are so many things to be responsible for.

But, when I feel this way, I face the fear by understanding how great it is that I am an adult and have choices and I look back on my life to see the accomplishments that have gotten me this far.

My teenage daughter is almost 14, and about two weeks ago, before bed, she confided in me that she was afraid of growing up.

I told her this: (with a smile:) Don't be afraid, you have your whole life ahead of you, growing up is exciting and it is a great thing! You have the freedom to choose; to be yourself, to grow and to experience life.

The best thing for young people who are growing up is that if you play your cards right, your life will be wonderful.

Be responsible, make good choices, work hard and this can be a fun adventure!

Just remember, don't let the fear get to you. Hear it when it arrives, address it briefly-discuss it with someone you trust then go back to what you were doing! I hope this helps. Amber.

 

I think everyone is scared to grow up. To be standing on their own feet and have to do it by themselves.

It's a view the general population have towards age. In the Netherlands there was a famous writer. She wrote beautiful children stories, songs, musicals, screenplays etc. On her 85th or 90th birthday they asked her in an interview how she stayed so alert, so good with her brain. Her answer? She refused to grow up. She never forgot how it was to be a child, to cherish that inner child and how it was to play.

And that's exactly the balance we have to find. To be grown up enough to make our own well thought of decisions. It doesn't mean you can't make mistakes, that's a very good way to learn. Never forget your inner child and how you can be surprised with a fresh flower, enjoy the sun, how to run threw the park and play with the wind.

Growing up, means that you're strong enough to be responsible for your own actions.

So try to think before you act, without loosing spontaneity. Stay honest, be true to your friends. Be kind to strangers. Be loving to the ones close to you.

Just be you, do your best, thats good enough. Shiatsuca

 

If I know anything for sure Ana, it's this: no one is alone in this world in anything. So, answering your question - I'm sure that you're not the only one going through something like this at your age.

Fear is a natural thing Ana and to fear the future is something almost everyone does.

You've left your teens behind and that is sad and responsibilities like career, etc. are scary but try looking at the positive side of things. When you do find the 'right' career, you will earning a living out of something you thoroughly enjoy doing. And that's pretty damned great feeling. It begins with a feeling of independence and comfort and confidence. Trust me!

I too, was terrified about the various responsibilities. As I turned twenty, everyone around me made it seem like a very important milestone in life. May be it is one. But Ana, you have nothing to worry about.

Also, the fact that you're conscious of things like maturity means that you are pretty mature yourself. TC.

 

Ana, that is what life is about. Getting older, burning each phase you're living. My advice would be to enjoy the ride, take it on a day by day basis, but always be awake and aware of where do you picture yourself in 5 or even ten years. Everyone has to start building at some point who they really want to be in this world. On the other hand, you're still very young so don't miss the fun. At your age, it is normal to feel old sometimes and very young in other occasions. I think we all have been there sometime. So really don't worry. Keep up the hard work to find the right career and job, and always remember that it is not a big problem when we make a mistake. That's how we learn. Wishing you all the best today and the rest of your days. Mariano from Caracas, Venezuela.

 

Ana you are not the only one. Most people are scared about growing up! Getting old sucks! Get yourself a job and a good man and have fun as much as you can. Do you think I like getting up for work every morning at 6 going to a job that I hate? NOOOOOO, but you know what it pays the bills. Most people don't like their job so don't worry about it. Life is short enjoy it as much as you can! Gregory.

 

No you're not the only person to be worried about growing up and what is in store for you in the future, to be honest life is full of ups and downs, trials and tribulations, but the main focus here is your own happiness and well being. You will discover that not everything you do will go according to plan, we are tested in life, sometimes for the good, but not always. You shouldn't put yourself under pressure into thinking all these things need to happen in the near future. Growing up is a long process and your final destination is a long way from this point in time. Give yourself time to find a job you love, it doesn't always happen now. I've had many jobs over the years and at 38 yrs old finally discovered a job I love. Now at 41 am thriving in life and finally feel that I have reached my peak of growing up. I am now content and happy with life. Please just take your time and truly discover who you are and where you want to be in 20 years time, enjoy your life while you can. Goodluck, Maria.

 

When you're feeling scared of growing up it's a good indication because you're in the process of growing up yourself.

It's better that you're feeling scared of growing up than just scared of growing old, those two are really far apart. All grown-up people around you also went through this stage, even grown-ups still learn how to be a grown-ups. Warna.

 

I'm 21, and I distinctly remember being in your shoes not very long ago.

I've always been a little too old for my skin, but there are times when I'd look back and wonder if I was missing something. There are also times when I can literally feel myself growing up, and yes, they are a little unnerving. But for the most part (I know this sounds cliche) as long as you're enjoying where you are in life, there's not much point in worrying about it. Rhiannon.

 

I found this to be a little crazy. My name is also Ana, and those are the exact thoughts going through my head. Don't be nervous, you're not alone.

 

I turned 20 a little over a month ago and I totally understand what you're saying. I sometimes don't feel my age either; I wish I could just be happy with it. But I've realized that fighting it won't make me feel any better. It's scary for me because this is the first time I've been made to look beyond college, almost because I'm in a new decade of my life. But I'm not going to worry-just because something is new doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be awful. Life isn't perfect, but it is great. And as I get older, I'll notice new things, learn more things, meet more people than I can imagine...it's the fear of the unknown and of change that paralyzes me, feeling so small in such a big world. But when you're paralyzed into not doing anything, all the joy is sucked out of your life. You've got to take control of it yourself, and purposefully live it. It's your world, after all-you've got to shape it, or someone else will. And it's not as big as you'd think. Lacy.

 

You're not alone Ana, I'm 19 and I already feel weird. But hey, its life. We are supposed to feel this way and worry about important things. I think it wouldn't be right not to worry and think that everything will come to us, instead of us going after our dreams. - Erica.

 

You are definitely not alone in this! I've been feeling the exact same way lately. I'm turning 19 next week and I just finished my first year of university but I almost feel like it was a waste of a year. I still don't know what direction to take my studies or where I should head next. The idea that the decisions that I'm making now set the framework for my life really freaks me out. I also feel like I'm just not mature enough to make these decisions yet. That I'm still just a kid with wild dreams and that I don't want to come around to this more adult life. Although I'm feeling really confused I turn to my friends and family to help me through. I think that maybe the fact that I still feel like such a dreamer, a little kid, tells me that maybe I should embrace it and go for that unrealistic goal that I'm always thinking of. Maybe not everyone goes through this but I am, and I hope that we both are able to work our way through. Love, Monique.

 

My name is Agata, I'm from Poland and I turned 20 in March. Believe me, you're not the only one feeling this way. I don't know what advice should I give you 'cause I have none for myself. Sometimes it's very frustrating when I can't make an important decision on my own. When I'm at the crossroads, it's always like 'Mom what should I do?!'. No self-reliance. It scares me sometimes. The best advice I can give you is to try very hard to rely on yourself in every day life situations. You need to get more self-confidence and start to trust yourself more. We won't escape adult life responsibilities, we must learn to handle them. Moreover, your loved ones will be supporting you whenever you need it. This fear of being of a mature person will die out with time. I really do believe that. We'll manage.

 

This was a very popular question and very hard to choose the answers to show but I thank you all for submitting your replies and welcome our new responders.

Click to read this week's Team Oracle question, and send us your answer.

April 11, 2011 - submitted by Stevie, Mexico

 

Q. Hello.

How likely is it for unreleased songs "Famous Old Painters" and "Don Quixote" to be on the fifth album?

 

Thanks and greetings from Mexico!!! :P

 

 

The Oracle Replies:

 

A million to one would still be far too good odds.

Not likely makes it sound like a possibility.

Not a chance, no.

They won't be. Definitely.

April 11, 2011 - submitted by Kevin, United States of America

 

Q. How long were So Sad, Vitamins, and If All Else in the setlist. Did they ever make it live in the new millennium? I apologize if you have already answered this question.

 

 

The Oracle Replies:

 

To be honest, not long at all. None of those songs lasted long enough to see it into the new millennium either. They didn't even make it to 1999 as far as I remember.

April 11, 2011 - submitted by Stevie, Mexico[/color][/b]

 

Q. Hello.

How likely is it for unreleased songs "Famous Old Painters" and "Don Quixote" to be on the fifth album?

 

Thanks and greetings from Mexico!!! :P

 

 

The Oracle Replies:

 

A million to one would still be far too good odds.

Not likely makes it sound like a possibility.

Not a chance, no.

They won't be. Definitely.

 

:lol:

 

That means all new songs, yay!

 

Sounds like she may have seen the 'official' LP5 tracklist already...

:lol:

 

That means all new songs, yay!

 

Sounds like she may have seen the 'official' LP5 tracklist already...

 

:dance:

so FOP has like a 50% chance of being on the album? yeah, thats probably about right...

so FOP has like a 50% chance of being on the album? yeah, thats probably about right...

 

Only 50%? I'm going for 75% :laugh3:

I wonder when we will have the first bit of news about LP5 -

April 12, 2011 - submitted by Sophie, Australia

 

Q. Dear Oracle,

My first boyfriend and I broke up 3 months ago. Now he's going out with someone else and I still like him a lot. I still feel terrible every day. He said he still wanted to be friends, and occassionaly we would talk, but now I never hear from him.

What is the easiest way to forget him and not care anymore? I just want to feel happy again. Please help.

Sophie.

 

The Oracle Replies:

 

The easiest way to forget is to keep yourself busy and occupy your mind as much as possible. I'm afraid there is no easy way to not care. Time is the only thing and to be honest it takes people different lengths of time so I can't predict how long it may take for you. Surround yourselves with friends and people who make you happy. Don't waste time on boys who don't deserve you.

April 12, 2011 - submitted by Lu, Chile

 

Q. Hi Oracle! here's another "meaning question".

In the 2005 Storytellers Coldplay show, Will uses a phrase when he talks about Clocks, (that at first he didn't like)... what's that idiom? I think it's something related to the word "hat"... what's the meaning of that expression?

Please answer this cause it's a bit difficult to get those phrases.

Thanks so very much!!!

 

 

The Oracle Replies:

 

In this case the idiom was "if Clocks is a hit I'll eat my hat".

The phrase means that you don't think something could happen SO much that you're prepared to do something insanely ridiculous if "it" actually happens. So strong is their belief that "it" will never happen they feel safe to say it as they're also implying they won't need to.

 

(Will wasn't keen on the song but I'm pretty sure it wasn't him who actually said those words).

^Then who did say it?:sneaky:

chris probably. or jonny, because his hats are always filled with cake...

April 13, 2011 - submitted by Oxana, France

 

Q. Hey All-Knowing Oracle,

I've just watched Eastern Promises with the great Viggo Mortensen and I'd like to know what are the Russian songs we can hear during the movie.

Thanks a lot,

Oxana

 

 

The Oracle Replies:

 

Have you tried listening [ame=http://www.amazon.com/Eastern-Promises-Original-Picture-Soundtrack/dp/B000UZ4D1C]here[/ame]?

April 13, 2011 - submitted by Ana, United States of America

 

Q. Hello wise Oracle. I only have one question for you, why is the song in the music video for Spies different than the one featured in Parachutes? I know that they had made the video originally for Spies, but the video's version started faster and had a faster beat. I was wondering if this might have been because they had originally made this video for Spies, but then changed it to Bigger Stronger. I hope to hear from you,

Ana

 

 

The Oracle Replies:

 

You must be referring to such videos as [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZtkv-GIElA&feature=player_embedded]this[/ame] where someone has taken the video from our timeline and dubbed Spies over the top.

 

For those that don't know, if you click on the TV icon between August & September 1999 you will see a video for Bigger Stronger. That video was actually made for Spies but the band changed their minds and chose to release Bigger Stronger. It was too late to shoot a new one so the original video remained.

 

The version of Spies dubbed over the video is an early version of the song and that's why it's different.

 

The eagle-eyed among you may have noticed we've added some new stuff to the timeline too...

i didnt really get what she meant be "have you tried here?" because the "here" isnt a different color just because of the link anymore...

i didnt really get what she meant be "have you tried here?" because the "here" isnt a different color just because of the link anymore...

 

Just click on here (in her answer), it's a link, just less visible because of the colour

April 14, 2011 - submitted by Patrick, United States of America

 

Q. Hello Oracle. I'm at the end of my rope so to speak. I find it kind of funny that im asking for advice from someone whom I will never meet, yet many others have done so already with problems worse than mine so I have been inspired to so as well.

 

My brother was dating a girl for over 6 years and she became like a sister to me. After they had a bad breakup, he started dating this other girl whom is the epitomy of what nobody wants in a girlfriend. She hangs with "the wrong crowd" to put it lightly and partakes in less than likeable activities, and my brother continues to be involved with her despite always seeming empty and depressed. I've lost my role model I've kept all my life and nothing my family or I does changes him. He has chosen her over happiness and I feel as though its going to cause him to continue down a bad road to a point of no return. I've never told him what I truly felt, because if I did it would result in me never feeling right talking to him again because of the loss of respect I've garnered for him. what should I do, if anything?

 

 

The Oracle Replies:

 

Oh Patrick I feel for you, I really do. Your brother has been someone you looked up to and now you feel you can't and that is hard. Role models are strange entities to me as it's a role that comes with extreme amounts of pressure that is sometimes unwittingly thrust upon them. Family members especially are put into this position usually by their age and therefore perceived wisdom and maturity, yet they are still fallible human beings at the end of the day.

They have a responsibility to themselves first and foremost but I can totally see why you feel let down. I suppose there's a few things here, the loss of a sister like figure is also affecting you but ultimately you don't like to see your brother's changed behaviour. I'm afraid that you have to accept whatever path your brother chooses for himself and let him get on with it. He may be making a mistake but right now he may feel the need to rebel against his usual behaviour in the wake of the break-up from his long term relationship. It's quite common for guys to get involved with someone soon after but all I can suggest is to be there for him and support him. Try not to judge his decisions but show concern for his welfare by all means. Why can't you ask if he's ok because you think he looks sad? It's ok to be worried about your brother but you can't change him; not back to who he was or who you want him to be. It doesn't mean he's lost forever, this could be a phase.

Try to remain aware that when you get older you may find yourself in a similar position which will make you see that it's part of life so don't be too hard on him.

Finally, I have had people in my life that I put on a pedestal and when they did something to knock them off I was so disappointed. It took a while for me to see that I had no right to put them there in the first place. If you want a role model to look up to, look no further than yourself. There is no reason your older brother can't see you as role model by the way... set an example.

April 14, 2011 - submitted by Chris K, United States of America

 

Q. I teach 4th grade in a Quantum learning classroom, and for some reason the beginning of Yellow from the Live 2003 world tour really calms them down in the morning. Is there a studio version of Yellow from the Live 2003 tour? The beginning of the song really helps them focus! It's been a great opportunity to introduce the class to Coldplay. Oracle... can you help me out here?

 

 

The Oracle Replies:

 

I take it you mean a CD studio recording of the version of Yellow from the Live 2003 DVD. The only recording of that version of Yellow is live. There is a CD as well as the DVD with 12 tracks lifted from the same shows and that does feature Yellow.

April 15, 2011 - submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

 

Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

When I answer questions of a personal nature, Coldplay.com readers often get in touch with their own thoughts. So, we now have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday (with the question asker's permission) we open up a question to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I'll post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 200 words, to [email protected] before Thursday 21st April.

 

"I have an extremely embarrassing dad who has a very weird and uncommon hobby, which requires having things stuck outside the house that don't look exactly normal. My dad doesn't realize that he embarasses me and my brother, but I don't know how to explain to him about how I feel without entirely hurting his feelings. Also, two of my neighbors are in my grade and I'm not entirely the most popular kid in the school and and I'm scared of having to explain to them. My dad has tried to get me into his hobby and whenever I have friends over, he takes his hobby all over the house and my friends look embarrassed when they ask me about it. Please help! I need some advice before I do anything! Annie."

 

Look forward to seeing your replies.

The Oracle

 

 

The Oracle Replies:

 

Please email your replies to [email protected]

April 15, 2011 - submitted by Elizabeth, United States of America

 

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION - #20

Last May my parents decided to get a divorce, which was actually a positive thing because my dad was abusive to my mother. He's already remarried and I've never met the woman he married, nor was I invited to the wedding. I decided to cut my dad out of my life because he isn't a good person, but I still have really mixed feelings because he's my dad and I love him, and he only was bad to me a few times growing up. Anyways, ever since then I've been feeling sad non-stop, I don't want to get out of bed in the mornings, the things I used to be passionate about don't interest me anymore, and even though I'm a really good kid, I find myself doing bad things that I never would've done before. I'm afraid that I might be depressed and need some kind of help before I get worse but I don't want to tell my mom and have her make a big deal of it. What do you think I should do? Elizabeth

 

 

The Oracle Replies:

 

There are two things here Elizabeth; the cause and the symptom. It's a terrible sadness to be caught in the middle of a divorce but as you say, it wasn't a bad thing. Whether or not you choose to have contact with your father is up to you. Yes he and your mum created you but you don't owe him anything. He's not exactly been there for you so don't beat yourself up about whatever decision you make regarding seeing him or not. However, the effect this is having on you is something you do need to talk to your mum about. It's interesting you assume she'll give you a hard time but she may offer her love, support, guidance and understanding as well as help. But if you really believe that to be the case, maybe talk to another family member or someone you trust but don't deal with this on your own. You're not alone, there will be so many people going through the same thing so don't be scared to share your thoughts and feelings. This very well could have triggered a depression which is understandable but I urge you to drag your self out of bed and to reclaim your happy. Those things that you were passionate about... do them anyway, spend time with good friends and stay away from the bad things that are out of character. It's easy to blame events in our life for downward spirals and dramatic changes in behaviour but all you're doing is running, hiding and blocking out the sadness by doing these things. Talking to a counsellor may help but I'm a great believer in giving yourself a good talking to yourself. The fact you came to me for help means you can do something positive as that was the first step. I KNOW you can find your way back from this because you want to. Talking is key so please find the right person to help you get the help you need. Good luck Elizabeth & hang in there as it will get easier. Over to you.

 

Since you have mixed feelings about your dad, you should try calling him or writing him a letter to let him know how you feel. Shedding light on these mixed feelings could potentially lift a huge weight off your chest, so try that first and see how you feel afterward. I know how parents can overreact and blow things out of proportion sometimes, but this situation is more on the serious side. Try talking to a close friend about what you are experiencing, then talk to your mom. She might make a big deal of it, but then again, how you feel right now IS a big deal. She will give you her support and want to help, even if she has an odd way of showing it. Blake.

 

You know what's odd Elizabeth, I went through this EXACT SAME THING (and my name is Elizabeth). My parents divorced when I was really, really little, I don't remember them ever being together. My dad wasn't physically abusive, but he can be verbally abusive and I swore up and down for most of my teenage years that when I turned 18, I would never talk to him again. But that changed for me once I gave my dad a piece of my mind. I yelled at him over the phone about how I never felt like he truly cared about me. All of my built-up anger for all of those years came out in a matter of 15 minutes, crying and shaking and all that jazz. I thought that would be the end of our relationship, but it wasn't. It made it better.

What it seems like to me is that cutting your dad out of your life has been hard on you mentally (he is your dad after all), and that's a tough fact to face. I think you need to talk to him. Not with him, TO him. Tell him how you feel and how much he's hurt you. It may not fix your relationship with him, but it could (and hopefully will) make life easier for you. I hope this helps a little bit Ellie.

 

Elizabeth, you need to get help RIGHT NOW. Don't be afraid to tell your mum about this, because she loves you and wants you to be ok. She has her own problems, but they involve you and I can tell you that she will be a thousand times worse if she sees you depressed and doing self-destructive things without knowing what happens. I'm so sure that she would prefer to know what you're going through now and will support you and help you to get out of this nightmare. Only if you are right, you'll be able to help your mother and make her feel better too. You both can be each other's support but only if you get some kind of help now. You can also lean on other people you trust and love. They can cheer you up and listen to you. Having someone to talk to, who can advise you, is what you need (and of course, some medical help).

You don't know how much I understand your feelings about your dad. It's not easy when your father cuts you out of his life and doesn't care about you. Mine did that and some days I find myself crying because of it. But someday, after thinking so much, you will be ready and have the chance and strength to confront him and tell him everything you feel and everything you think about him. I did, and it was kinda relieving although you feel wrong after that. Be strong, get some help and focus on the good things you have (like your friends, your hobbies, etc). Try not to be impulsive and don't ever expect your father to change. And don't expose yourself to situations like going to his house and facing him and her wife. Remember that your mother is not going to be fine if you are not and know that you are not alone. A hug from Argentina. Noelia.

 

I don't mean to scare you but, you may need professional help. I know it's scary to seek that kind of help because when I was just 17 years old I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I couldn't eat, sleep, or enjoy anything that I used to (not even Coldplay). Anyway, my parents noticed a difference in my behavior and I had to tell them everything. I got help, and now I'm almost 20 years old and have never been happier. I don't know what it's like to have parents who are divorced but I do know what it's like not to be happy. You have to tell your mom because all she wants is for you to be happy even if it's a scary time for all of you. Tell her and don't be scared! Hopefully with help, you can understand your feelings about your father. KP from NYC

 

One thing that you should know is parents always love their children even they are really bad kids and love of parents to their children will never stop.

Your dad was bad to you but he loves you very much.get your self out of sadness and be straight on your feet. Life has no value of spend a day in sadness. Dream Boy.

 

Thank you for your replies.

Click to read this week's Team Oracle question, and send us your answer.

April 18, 2011 - submitted by Giovanna, Brazil

 

Q. Oracle, don't you think that the world would be better if there was no racism and everyone followed the example of the panda bear, that is white, black and Asian at the same time?

 

greetings from Brazil ;D

 

p.s.: love the song The Scientist.

 

 

The Oracle Replies:

 

Ha I love that! You brought a smile to my face, thank you. I do think the world would be a better place without racism yes but I'm not sure the panda is setting an example... they're obese and don't do very much. The population would decrease pretty quickly too as they're not into the act of procreation shall we say.

Sorry, I'm joking! Bloomin' cute though too.

April 18, 2011 - submitted by KK, Australia

 

Q. Please Coldplay come and do a show in Perth! Don't make Splendour in the Grass your only show in Australia cause then I'll be sad.

 

I heart Coldplay!!

 

 

The Oracle Replies:

 

Splendour in the Grass is, as you know, a festival and as you may have noticed from the current live dates, they're all festivals. There is no tour yet so this will just be a whistle stop visit to Australia.

April 18, 2011 - submitted by Giovanna, Brazil[/color][/b]

 

Q. Oracle, don't you think that the world would be better if there was no racism and everyone followed the example of the panda bear, that is white, black and Asian at the same time?

 

greetings from Brazil ;D

 

p.s.: love the song The Scientist.

 

 

The Oracle Replies:

 

Ha I love that! You brought a smile to my face, thank you. I do think the world would be a better place without racism yes but I'm not sure the panda is setting an example... they're obese and don't do very much. The population would decrease pretty quickly too as they're not into the act of procreation shall we say.

Sorry, I'm joking! Bloomin' cute though too.

 

:thinking: Hmmph. Dear Oracle, Do you think racism is bad? Great question...

^Well she just said it was bad...