January 11, 2013 - submitted by Helena, Sweden

 

Q. TEAM ORACLE QUESTION #102

I have recently split up with my boyfriend. I thought he loved me and I think/thought I loved him too. We had made so many plans together for our lives and we said that we would always be there for each other, no matter what would happen to us. That meant a lot to me and I will never forget it. It made a mark in to my heart. I am still in that place every time I think about him. But I am now like nothing to him. I do not know what happened, or really why or when and where. All I know is that one day, all of a sudden, he decided that he didn't love me anymore. I was shocked.

 

He has also stopped all contact with me so I didn't even get the chance to talk to him about what happened. I am air to him.

This, was all so all of a sudden for me, and I am still in that place when he love me. And I him.

How will I get my heart unbroken and my spirit and soul back together again?

I am an 21 year old artist/model and he is a 24 year old musician. Love, Helena, Sweden.

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

A relationship break up is like a bereavement and hurts like hell. There is no quick fix and I can't tell you any secret to mending your heart/spirit/soul.

All I can say to you is you're not the first person to feel that way and you won't be the last so you can take support from people who know what you're going through.

There is no point dwelling on the promises he made because although he meant them at the time, sadly he doesn't now. It's so tough when somebody you love cuts you out and breaks all contact - you're left wanting answers that may never come.

Time will help but it could take a lot of it so in the meantime, surround yourself with friends and family and do all the things you enjoy doing. Don't let your life come to a standstill, pause by all means but keep moving forward. Some things aren't meant to last forever and it sounds like the time you were with him was time well spent. It's come to an end now and hopefully you will be able to look back at it and be happy for your time together. The heart is very fragile but it does mend so worry not, keep the faith and try not to let your unanswered questions torment you. We cannot make anyone talk, explain or (dare I say) confess things so we need to let go.

If we simply accept that things can happen without any rhyme or reason, we would probably heal a little quicker. That said, don't rush it and give yourself time to grieve the loss of your relationship. I have been in the exact same situation so I will also add that advice is one thing but strap yourself in, it's going to be a very bumpy ride.

One day in the future you will appreciate that this happened but right now I bet that feels impossible. Hang in there.

Over to you.

 

First of all, I really feel for you... this is a time that is hard to cope with for sure, you will cry and feel sad for a bit. Let that happen and don't rush it or rush into the arms of another person. You need time to figure out what went wrong, not who was to blame but what made it happen, you need to do this so your next relationship can be healthy and happy. You say he won't talk to you, some people do not like uncomfortable conversations, and will avoid them so write him a letter or paint him a picture and get your anger and sadness out. Whether he gets it or not is not the point, it's about healing you. Find something you are passionate about and do it, do what makes you happy and focus on that. I know from experience this storm will pass in time, and you will learn how strong you are, and how able you are to be happy without him, take care, Laurie.

 

This is such an enchanted time in your life. I realize you may not feel this way now, but just wait and then wait some more. Before you know it you will be 52 years young and reminiscing about the wonderful loves you have had. Your heart will heal and your soul will again glow. This young man may be in need of healing too. One of the greatest gifts is heartbreak. Once you move through the darkness & pain you will have peace and a new outlook. "The gift" is knowing that you have loved & been loved. Many are not so fortunate. You will love again. It is up to you. I envy you. Stacie, WA State.

 

It’s hard when you realized that a person, who at some point of your life meant everything to you, makes you feel just like another girl. You know very well that what you need to move on, leave the past behind and go on with your life. I know it’s not as easy as it sounds but you will. Start again. Don’t start thinking about what you think you did wrong, don’t regret anything. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. You’ll find somebody else that loves you as much as you will love him. Don’t lose hope in love. Don’t lose your time on a guy that doesn’t deserve you. Love yourself more than you could love anyone. Smile, laugh, enjoy, take risks, be free, be stronger, and be smarter… just live as much as you can.

Have a beautiful life, Lyssete, Peru.

 

First of all there 0.0001% probability that you love someone but that person doesn't love you and there are hard times when you feel all is lost and gone. It's painful but the thing that keeps a relation true and great is HOLDING ON. You have to hold on for the good times. You should personally meet him and ask him clear and direct. Love is the greatest gift in the world and you shouldn't let it go. Another thing you can listen to Shiver by Coldplay (meanwhile) until things go cooler. Anon.

 

You didn't tell how long you have been together or you are split now, that could help to answer. There’s an information regarding your ages and jobs - all I can say about that is both of you are individual forceful personalities with ideas of an own career. Just one assumption: maybe making so many plans for a life together was asked too much of you both so soon and your boyfriend felt out of his depth suddenly.

The way he broke it off is very rough and shocking, certainly you want to know the reasons why. Otherwise would an explanation really improve the fact? Explanations in such cases often get close to blaming. Obviously he doesn’t blame you, possibly he can’t explain it for himself. Then his reaction might be more honest as going on in a relationship without having true feelings anymore. An end after a long time of fighting and arguing would not be less painful.

Be prepared for the future, consider how to react if he ever would want to return one day. Though it is hard for you now, don’t suffer from this situation too long: step out with friends, have fun! You have all chances to find your “Mr. Right”. Best of luck! L. Q.

 

I am sorry to hear that you're being put through this situation. You had strong genuine feelings for this guy, and you learned that he didn't share them very suddenly. It hurts to let love go, but in this case, you don't have much of a choice. It's okay to take your time to collect yourself, it will be difficult, so don't try to rush into things you aren't ready for. I know it doesn't seem like there is any light to be found in this situation, but there is. You said you were a model, so I can that tell you are very beautiful on the outside; but the fact that you have developed such strong feelings to someone show that you are just as beautiful on the inside. One day, someone's going to come along, and he's going to make you feel the same feelings you felt, and he will feel them in return.

Be strong, Bradley H.

 

I am sorry to hear you are having a bad time at present. I am sure you feel your world has ended but I assure you - you will look back on this a stronger person. If possible talk this out to a counsellor, friend or whoever will listen and after a while you will make sense of this and realise that it wasn't to be. I am a strong believer that what will be will be. However, we make our opportunities happen so if possible take up a new interest and keep busy. The worst thing to take away from this is bitterness, that will just eat away at you. All our experiences are there for a reason. So if you are meant to get together in the future you will if not well let him go - he is not worth it.

all the best and as you are on the cold play website what better way of relieving our sorrow - put on a Coldplay track. All the best Mary.

 

I think if you really love him search for him and talk to him to understand what happened.

Look for answers, I'm sure there must be a reason, and if you cannot find them, then just let it go.

Remember that your happiness does not depend on anyone but yourself and sometimes it is better to give up something you love before it ends hurting you more. Love yourself; this is just a comma, not a full stop. From now on try to avoid all those things that remind you of him, clear your mind and you'll see how your wounds slowly heal. I’d like to end with a deep phrase from the band:

"But if you never try you'll never know just what you're worth".

Maybe this is a new beginning. Naxalia.

 

We can't control the hearts and minds of other people, and everyone changes over time. Just remember that you're part of what made that relationship what it was, and that you're worth missing as well. The most you can do is accept change and that things like this happen. Although I do think you deserve closure, you shouldn't wait around for someone who's already moving on with their life. Besides, he might not be ready to talk now. Just as Chris sings "start again a little higher"(UWTB). Happiness and love are everywhere, just look in different places. Pick up the broken pieces. You're really the only one that can put yourself back together and are stronger than you think. Love, Darem.

 

Thanks to all those who replied to this week’s question. Remember, Team Oracle is open to anyone so if you fancy replying, click to read this week's, and send us your answer.

January 14, 2013 - submitted by Ethan, United Kingdom

 

Q. Hey Oracle!:)

I was just curious if the guys wore makeup during the shows? I used to do plays and I too had to wear makeup for lighting purposes. Do they as well?

Thank you,

Ethan (Coldplay 4 Life:D)

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Although in musical, dramatic theatre and sometimes television performances make up is worn, no, the band don't wear it. Just imagine how much it would run down Chris & Will's faces with the amount of energy they expel.

January 14, 2013 - submitted by Noah, United States of America

 

Q. Hey Oracle, what type of vocal warm ups do Chris and the boys do before showtime and how close to showtime do they tend to warm their voices up? I'm a singer and it would really help me! Thanks!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Jonny, Will & Guy sit in the dressing room with a pre-recorded warm-up session that takes them through various techniques. Chris goes into a warm-up room with a steam machine to practice vocal acrobatics to get his voice prepared. This tends to happen within an hour of show time before they get dressed into stage gear.

January 14, 2013 - submitted by Ethan, United Kingdom[/color][/b]

 

Q. Hey Oracle!:)

I was just curious if the guys wore makeup during the shows? I used to do plays and I too had to wear makeup for lighting purposes. Do they as well?

Thank you,

Ethan (Coldplay 4 Life:D)

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Although in musical, dramatic theatre and sometimes television performances make up is worn, no, the band don't wear it. Just imagine how much it would run down Chris & Will's faces with the amount of energy they expel.

 

Chris would sweat it off in one song :P

Chris would sweat it off in one song :P

 

That's what I was going to say too.

 

Then my silly mind wandered to what Jonny and Guy might look like with a little rouge and some nice purple mascarra,lol.

January 15, 2013 - submitted by Rowan , United States of America

 

Q. Dearest Oracle,

 

Does Will ever get bored sitting behind his drum set? Chris runs freely around the stage and interacts with the crowd. Guy and Johnny move occasionally. I just wanted to know if Will ever yearns to work the stage a little. Cheers!

 

RJ

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

It's not like many other bands where the drummer stays in the one spot behind his kit for the entire show so, no. Will gets to move to the front, X Stage, C stage (or whatever variation they've had on previous tours).

I'm sure he wouldn't be a drummer if he wasn't happy with the idea of being at the back. Or he could have chosen to stand up like the drummer in

.

January 15, 2013 - submitted by Ambar, Puerto Rico

 

Q. Hello Oracle!

 

I just have COLDPLAY LIVE 2012 CD and DVD I was wondering why it has a RED NUMBER ON THE BOTTOM LEFT of the artwork cover????

 

Mine is 15 what does it mean??

 

Thanks in advance!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

That's the parental guidance age.

Age restrictions are in place to determine suitability.

January 15, 2013 - submitted by Amelia, United Kingdom

 

Q. Phil Harvey is always referred to as the 'fifth member of Coldplay' but do you know if he regrets not ever becoming an actual member of Coldplay, as in an onstage member?

Thanks, and Happy Christmas!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

There was never a time that Phil was considering that position, so no, he doesn't.

He's as much part of the band as Chris, Jonny, Will & Guy but it's always been behind the scenes. Phil has appeared in videos and onstage as Elvis during Christmas Lights but Phil has never been in the band as a playing musician.

He is musical though which is why his input is such an integral part of the role of 5th member.

January 15, 2013 - submitted by Rowan , United States of America[/color][/b]

 

Q. Dearest Oracle,

 

Does Will ever get bored sitting behind his drum set? Chris runs freely around the stage and interacts with the crowd. Guy and Johnny move occasionally. I just wanted to know if Will ever yearns to work the stage a little. Cheers!

 

RJ

who is this Johnny :huh:

who is this Johnny :huh:

 

That's what I was going to say!:lol::smug:

 

It still makes me laugh that Coldplay need an age restriction number. Sweet innocent Chris?? :wink3:

January 16, 2013 - submitted by Ida, Denmark

 

Q. Hey Oracle!

I read in a Danish music magazine that Chris has tried to sell one night with Guy for one million dollars for charity. Is this true or is it just another one of Chris' hilarious jokes?

Love from Denmark!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

It's absolutely a joke. I've had a couple of people asking for more details on that auction but of course it's not happening. Chris was making a reference to Guy's good looks. They're all good looking - obviously.

January 16, 2013 - submitted by Theron, United States of America

 

Q. Is this the address is should use to send a letter for coldplay:

Coldplay

EMI Records UK

EMI House

43 Brook Green

London, W6 7EF

UK

 

Or should I use this:

c/o PO Box 246

Cheadle

SK8 9AF

 

I would be so grateful to know, thanks!!!!!

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Neither. EMI moved and the PO Box was closed 4 years ago.

We don't have a postal address for physical mail; we prefer to receive electronic messages.

It reduces the impact on the environment plus we don't have the resources to receive and house letters etc.

There's a contact button on the site...

January 16, 2013 - submitted by Michele, Italy

 

Q. Did Coldplay ever been opening act for someone in early days?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Yes, they opened for a few people including Muse, U2, Embrace and smaller bands such as Mercedes as well as a joint headline tour with Terris.

They're all good looking - obviously.

:lol: so cute that she said that

They're all good looking - obviously.

 

i like this because you can't really tell if she means, "obviously, they're all good-looking, have you seen them???" or "obviously, they're all good-looking, they pay my bills" :P

i like this because you can't really tell if she means, "obviously, they're all good-looking, have you seen them???" or "obviously, they're all good-looking, they pay my bills" :P

 

 

Or both.

January 17, 2013 - submitted by Margaret, United States of America

 

Q. I know on one of Faultline's albums, Chris sang in Your Love Means Everything pt.2, and Where is my Boy? So, I was questioning whether David Kosten wrote the song + lyrics, or did CPlay?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

They're Faultline tracks with Chris featuring as a vocalist only rather than a songwriting collaboration, so no, Chris didn't write the lyrics.

January 17, 2013 - submitted by Rhys, Canada

 

Q. I know Coldplay used to be called Starfish, but did they have any other names before that?

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

They had plenty of names but none that they gigged or recorded under. Starfish was the one they settled on from a selection of equally terrible suggestions - sorry guys!

The only other name that they ever used live was Pectorlaz but that wasn't serious - it was a jokey side project that didn't last, though one of their songs (Call Me) was recorded by an EMI artist some years later after they themselves were signed as Coldplay (obviously).

Starfish was the one they settled on from a selection of equally terrible suggestions - sorry guys!

 

:lol:

The only other name that they ever used live was Pectorlaz but that wasn't serious - it was a jokey side project that didn't last, though one of their songs (Call Me) was recorded by an EMI artist some years later after they themselves were signed as Coldplay (obviously).

waaaaat :wideeyed:

Call Me

 

edit: OK, that doesn't work :\ Search for Work ID 331693217

Found it! It's weird, it says the writers are Chris, but also Hamlet Luton and Sara Garvey :thinking:

Sara Garvey and Hamlet Luton are known as Phoenix Pearle and they probably rewrote (part of) the song. But I can't find anything when I search for Phoenix Pearle and Call Me :confused:

^:surprised: Oooh

January 18, 2013 - submitted by The Oracle, United Kingdom

 

Q. WHO'D LIKE TO JOIN TEAM ORACLE?

When I answer questions of a personal nature, Coldplay.com readers often get in touch with their own thoughts. So, we have a weekly feature, Team Oracle, whereby each Friday (with the question asker's permission) we open up a question to all of you to answer too. Then, the following Friday, I'll post a selection of the best answers, alongside my own reply.

ANYONE can join in so, if you'd like to, please email your response to the following question, in no more than 250 words, to [email protected] before midnight Thursday 24th January.

 

I'm young and have been dating the same guy for almost two years (which is a long time when you're young as you know). We've been so close but lately I've been thinking about things, things that for so long I have overlooked-his obscene and inappropriate jokes, his moodiness, his anger which he directs towards me. I've always been a comfort to him, as he has to me (he can be very sweet and romantic) but I'm tired of his inability to be a true gentleman through and through. I know you should stick with someone and accept them as a whole, but he can be more of a jerk than the sweet guy I once knew, and I don't ever want to settle for someone who's only good for me half the time. How could I have overlooked this for so long? And how can I change things? Can things be fixed? Elise, USA.

 

Look forward to seeing your replies.

The Oracle

 

 

The Oracle replies:

 

Please email your replies to [email protected]