Your mom's so fat she had to be baptized in seaworld!

i have tons more but dont feel like writing them down

anymore jokes

it doesn't matter if they are uh rudes?

it doesn't matter if they are uh rudes?

 

sorry ricardo im a little slow today. i didnt get what you said

uh well having some rude words and pervy stuff

This thread is a joke:rolleyes:

 

JK

 

 

Your mom's so fat, when she was born your grandma couldn't get a C-section, she had the get the whole alphabet!

what do you call a road with no name? A NAMELESS ROAD!!! HAHAHAHAHAHOHOHOHOHO...

I hate your mom jokes.. so unoriginal.

 

 

 

 

 

*what did the fish say when it swam into the wall?????

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DAMN*get it haha beaver DAM!* i know pathetic:(

I think it's time for a "classic".

 

What do you call a fly with no wings??

 

A WALK!!:rolleyes:

I think it's time for a "classic".

 

What do you call a fly with no wings??

 

A WALK!!:rolleyes:

:dozey:

 

So old

 

 

Patient: Doctor, doctor! I have only 59 seconds left to live!

Doctor: Okay. Sit over there and I'll be with you in a minute.

I heard that on Creature Comforts. :laugh4:

You wanna know who's really behind the world's recession?

 

It must be Garfield... I mean I did hear analysts saying it was all the fault of greedy corporate fat cats anyway!:rolleyes:

:dozey:

 

So old

 

 

Patient: Doctor, doctor! I have only 59 seconds left to live!

Doctor: Okay. Sit over there and I'll be with you in a minute.

 

Well that one's so old it's decomposed!!:rolleyes:

who are the only decent people in a hospital?

 

the "ultra-sound" people :rolleyes:

"A man boarded a plane at Sydney airport and, taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the aircraft.

 

He realised she was heading straight towards his seat, and bingo! She took the seat right beside him.

 

Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out: "Business trip or holiday?"

 

She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniac Convention in the United States ."

 

The man swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs!

 

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked,

 

"What's your business role at this convention?"

 

"Lecturer", she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality."

 

Really?" he smiled, "What myths are those?"

 

"Well", she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are Scottish."

 

Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed.

 

"I'm sorry", she said. I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!"

 

"Tonto", the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos but all my friends call me Hamish."

 

lmao!

jk jk jk lololol i heart your fucking makeup oh my god i love your hair is that a new tattoo? did that piercing fucking hurt? no jk jk jk lololol.

:dozey:

 

So old

 

 

Patient: Doctor, doctor! I have only 59 seconds left to live!

Doctor: Okay. Sit over there and I'll be with you in a minute.

 

Best one i've heard so far.

A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.

 

The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "What the hell are doing, taking all your jammies off?" The wife replied, "You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for

something a bit heavier".

 

The husband said, "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.

 

:p

That is bloody terrible. :laugh3:

If 4/5 of people suffer from diarhiera does that mean the other 1/5 enjoy it?