:bigcry::bigcry::bigcry:!!

Kyra!!!:bigcry:your so good at writing!!though lets hope this doesnt really happen :lol:

You want more liberation?

All right...we'll storm the barricades together! *picks up revolutionary flag* Down with the king! :P

 

 

 

L I B E R A T I O N

CHAPTER 3 (The one that might make you cry...maybe)

 

 

My breath caught in my throat as I saw him. His face was pale, and tubes came out of his body like worms. I was shaking so badly that Will tightened his hold on my shoulders. Jonny appeared lifeless; he really did. Unable to look at him for a moment, I turned my gaze to the rest of the stark, white room. Chris sat in the corner, his tall outline tense.

 

He stared ahead, his eyes glazed and unfocused. His mind had shut down on him; I could tell. But I knew everything would catch up with him in a few hours (maybe days) and everything would crash down on him. He didn’t move to come up to us, but Will moved unconsciously closer to his chair. I felt horrible for Chris; Jonny was his closest friend. It was torture to see him so horribly subdued. It was the same with Will, although he hid it better than Chris. And me...I loved Jonny too. But I couldn’t think about my own pathetic feelings when I was the one who caused everyone else’s pain.

 

I had to be near Jonny. I shrugged off Will’s hands and moved numbly to Jonny’s side, reaching out to take his hand. His fingers felt dry and heavy in mine, and I sat down in the chair next to the bed, rubbing his wrist with my thumb. I glanced at Chris for a moment and saw that he had never taken his eyes off Jonny once. He looked back at me then, tears glistening behind his eyes. He stood up carefully and walked the few steps to my side. I felt myself burn with guilt, and fear because of it. As Chris’s friend, I wanted to reassure him, but I couldn’t. How could I? I felt a warm tear roll down my face. Chris’s face twisted, his brows slanted into a look of pain.

 

“It wasn’t your fault.” he whispered, as if reading my mind. I looked back at Jonny, who looked utterly peaceful despite the bandages covering his body. His heart monitor beeped steadily, but my own heart was pounding. Chris took my other hand in his, holding it tightly. I supposed he didn’t think I could handle much more than that. But I didn’t mind; whatever brought comfort to him was alright by me. I felt another tear make its way down my cheek, but I ignored it. I was too absorbed by the steady anguish that was creeping its way through me like poison.

 

“It is my fault.” I whispered.

 

Chris shook his head, his shoulders trembling slightly. Will had moved up to us and placed his hand firmly on the other man’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay.” But even he didn’t sound completely convinced. I looked up at Will, suddenly reminded of Jonny’s family, which was like another knife plunging through my insides.

 

“Where’s Chloe?”

 

“On her way from New York.” Will said, his brow furrowing. Apparently, he wasn’t so keen on having to face her either. I thought for a moment of Violet. What were we supposed to tell her? I’m sorry, honey, but your daddy may or may not live, and it’s all because of me. Chris let go of my hand suddenly, and I looked sideways at him as his warmth vanished. He looked as if he were about to be sick as he turned and fled from the room. Will and I stared at the empty doorway, and then the drummer swore and went after him, leaving me alone.

 

I leaned forward on my elbows, ignoring the pain in my ribs, and rested my arms on the side of the bed. I took a loose string between my fingers and rolled it around, scraping it with my nail. I felt like I was drifting; everything was moving at an unrealistic and painful pace. I stood up, unweaving my arms from under the rail, and drifted to the bottom of the bed. I picked up his chart from the table, scanned it, and quickly put it back. I couldn’t have read it for my life. I continued forward and sat on the edge of the mattress by his shoulder, wondering what was safe to touch and what wasn’t. I winced internally as I let my gaze wander to his head. Every day I saw him without his cap, but now he seemed smaller and more vulnerable without it. I grimaced and brushed some damp hair from his forehead as if I were handling a newborn.

 

“I’m so sorry.” I murmured, my voice thickening with tears. “I’m sorry, Jon.” I sat down on a chair and leaned forward, pressing my forehead against his shoulder; the one part of him I was certain wasn’t hurt. I felt a familiar tightness in my throat and stinging in my eyes. My breaths began to shudder and catch in my chest, and I shut my eyes against the onslaught of emotion. It was too much to manage, and I couldn’t hold it back. It took every ounce of my self control not to throw myself over Jonny and hold on for dear life. Instead, I covered my head with my hands and rested against his pillow.

 

For five minutes or so, I was left alone, crying weakly into Jonny’s shoulder. It hurt like hell, but I couldn’t stop.

 

Finally, something attempted to separate us. Hushed voices flew around my head, and I protested feebly as someone tried to pull me away from my friend. “No...” I groaned. “No, no...!” I shook my head violently, struggling as I was wrestled backwards. I tried to slip away from the invading hands, but they wouldn’t let me go.

 

Another voice soon joined the jumbled fray inside my head. “What the fuck are you doing? Let go of him!” I heard Will yell. His voice was tight with alarm. “Let GO!” At his command, the hands disappeared, and I folded in on myself, trembling violently with inexplicable terror.

 

For a moment, I was alone again. Then his hands came to hold me gently at the wrists. “Guy? Are you alright?” Will whispered, tentatively moving my arms to uncover my face. “It’s okay...” he said gently. I shook my head, trying to absorb the comfort of his presence. “Calm down, just calm...” he trailed off as I began to sob once more. Tears streamed down my face, and for a moment I could see Will staring at me.

 

“’S my fault...” I told him through my gasps. “I d-did this.”

 

“No.” he whispered, wrapping me gently in his arms. I melted against his chest, sobbing myself hoarse. “N-no, Guy...”

 

No matter how many times he told me it wasn’t my fault, I couldn’t believe him. All I could do was let him hold me and hope he would never let go.

 

 

OH NO WHY :bigcry: this is so emotional omg. You write it so well, it's like I'm watching from the corner of the room or something. Well done!

FOUND IT!!!:wink3:

http://www.coldplaying.com/forum/sho...1&postcount=40

 

 

POOP!!!! It came up page not found!!!:cry:

POOP!!!! It came up page not found!!!:cry:

 

The story should be in the very early pages of the thread. Maybe in the single digits.

 

:bigcry::bigcry::bigcry:!!

 

:bigcry:

I hope it'll never happen.

POOP!!!! It came up page not found!!!:cry:

 

here you go, it was on page 3:

 

http://www.coldplaying.com/forum/showpost.php?p=2659331&postcount=40

You want more liberation?

All right...we'll storm the barricades together! *picks up revolutionary flag* Down with the king! :P

 

 

 

L I B E R A T I O N

CHAPTER 3 (The one that might make you cry...maybe)

 

 

My breath caught in my throat as I saw him. His face was pale, and tubes came out of his body like worms. I was shaking so badly that Will tightened his hold on my shoulders. Jonny appeared lifeless; he really did. Unable to look at him for a moment, I turned my gaze to the rest of the stark, white room. Chris sat in the corner, his tall outline tense.

 

He stared ahead, his eyes glazed and unfocused. His mind had shut down on him; I could tell. But I knew everything would catch up with him in a few hours (maybe days) and everything would crash down on him. He didn’t move to come up to us, but Will moved unconsciously closer to his chair. I felt horrible for Chris; Jonny was his closest friend. It was torture to see him so horribly subdued. It was the same with Will, although he hid it better than Chris. And me...I loved Jonny too. But I couldn’t think about my own pathetic feelings when I was the one who caused everyone else’s pain.

 

I had to be near Jonny. I shrugged off Will’s hands and moved numbly to Jonny’s side, reaching out to take his hand. His fingers felt dry and heavy in mine, and I sat down in the chair next to the bed, rubbing his wrist with my thumb. I glanced at Chris for a moment and saw that he had never taken his eyes off Jonny once. He looked back at me then, tears glistening behind his eyes. He stood up carefully and walked the few steps to my side. I felt myself burn with guilt, and fear because of it. As Chris’s friend, I wanted to reassure him, but I couldn’t. How could I? I felt a warm tear roll down my face. Chris’s face twisted, his brows slanted into a look of pain.

 

“It wasn’t your fault.” he whispered, as if reading my mind. I looked back at Jonny, who looked utterly peaceful despite the bandages covering his body. His heart monitor beeped steadily, but my own heart was pounding. Chris took my other hand in his, holding it tightly. I supposed he didn’t think I could handle much more than that. But I didn’t mind; whatever brought comfort to him was alright by me. I felt another tear make its way down my cheek, but I ignored it. I was too absorbed by the steady anguish that was creeping its way through me like poison.

 

“It is my fault.” I whispered.

 

Chris shook his head, his shoulders trembling slightly. Will had moved up to us and placed his hand firmly on the other man’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay.” But even he didn’t sound completely convinced. I looked up at Will, suddenly reminded of Jonny’s family, which was like another knife plunging through my insides.

 

“Where’s Chloe?”

 

“On her way from New York.” Will said, his brow furrowing. Apparently, he wasn’t so keen on having to face her either. I thought for a moment of Violet. What were we supposed to tell her? I’m sorry, honey, but your daddy may or may not live, and it’s all because of me. Chris let go of my hand suddenly, and I looked sideways at him as his warmth vanished. He looked as if he were about to be sick as he turned and fled from the room. Will and I stared at the empty doorway, and then the drummer swore and went after him, leaving me alone.

 

I leaned forward on my elbows, ignoring the pain in my ribs, and rested my arms on the side of the bed. I took a loose string between my fingers and rolled it around, scraping it with my nail. I felt like I was drifting; everything was moving at an unrealistic and painful pace. I stood up, unweaving my arms from under the rail, and drifted to the bottom of the bed. I picked up his chart from the table, scanned it, and quickly put it back. I couldn’t have read it for my life. I continued forward and sat on the edge of the mattress by his shoulder, wondering what was safe to touch and what wasn’t. I winced internally as I let my gaze wander to his head. Every day I saw him without his cap, but now he seemed smaller and more vulnerable without it. I grimaced and brushed some damp hair from his forehead as if I were handling a newborn.

 

“I’m so sorry.” I murmured, my voice thickening with tears. “I’m sorry, Jon.” I sat down on a chair and leaned forward, pressing my forehead against his shoulder; the one part of him I was certain wasn’t hurt. I felt a familiar tightness in my throat and stinging in my eyes. My breaths began to shudder and catch in my chest, and I shut my eyes against the onslaught of emotion. It was too much to manage, and I couldn’t hold it back. It took every ounce of my self control not to throw myself over Jonny and hold on for dear life. Instead, I covered my head with my hands and rested against his pillow.

 

For five minutes or so, I was left alone, crying weakly into Jonny’s shoulder. It hurt like hell, but I couldn’t stop.

 

Finally, something attempted to separate us. Hushed voices flew around my head, and I protested feebly as someone tried to pull me away from my friend. “No...” I groaned. “No, no...!” I shook my head violently, struggling as I was wrestled backwards. I tried to slip away from the invading hands, but they wouldn’t let me go.

 

Another voice soon joined the jumbled fray inside my head. “What the fuck are you doing? Let go of him!” I heard Will yell. His voice was tight with alarm. “Let GO!” At his command, the hands disappeared, and I folded in on myself, trembling violently with inexplicable terror.

 

For a moment, I was alone again. Then his hands came to hold me gently at the wrists. “Guy? Are you alright?” Will whispered, tentatively moving my arms to uncover my face. “It’s okay...” he said gently. I shook my head, trying to absorb the comfort of his presence. “Calm down, just calm...” he trailed off as I began to sob once more. Tears streamed down my face, and for a moment I could see Will staring at me.

 

“’S my fault...” I told him through my gasps. “I d-did this.”

 

“No.” he whispered, wrapping me gently in his arms. I melted against his chest, sobbing myself hoarse. “N-no, Guy...”

 

No matter how many times he told me it wasn’t my fault, I couldn’t believe him. All I could do was let him hold me and hope he would never let go.

 

 

:(i would've cried...but i'm watching spongebob-how can you NOT laugh at spongebob? :D

I know, right? Spongebob is LIFE!

I put Spongebob references in almost all my fics...:shame:

but...not in this one? :lol:

POOP!!!! It came up page not found!!!:cry:

 

:shame:Im sorry!I remember its on page 2 ,3 or 4:Dremember its by TwistedMind!im really sorry!!:worried:

Gosh, when I started writing it I never realized the story would be this long :stunned: sorry if it's dragging on and on (I still have a bit more planned :lol:) and thank you to those who take the time to read it :heart:

 

A Warning Sign

 

Chapter Ten

 

 

 

 

May – Camden, London: Jonny

 

When we get there I can tell the place is pretty packed, people filtering in and out of the doors, a group of what seem to be students smoking on the street corner, a cloud of smoke rising above them in the night air. The smell of the smoke is tempting but I had promised April I would actually give quitting a decent try this time.

 

“What first?” Guy asks, pulling a few notes from his wallet but I push his arm down.

 

“Drinks on me, remember?” he smiles widely at the comment, tucking his wallet back into his pocket and it reminds me of our days at Uni. For some reason we still got a kick out of buying drinks for one another even though we were slightly better off these days.

 

“So who’s here?” I ask, practically yelling into his ear. The pub is loud, people chatting and laughing raucously, everyone seemingly enjoying themselves.

 

“You’ve met Charlie right? That’s his fiancee next to him, Emily, and their friends Luke, Mia and Thomas.” He’s pointing to the backs of their heads and I know there’s no way I’ll ever remember them all, apart from Charlie who I’d seen at a few of Guy’s parties before.

 

“You sit down, I’ll get the drinks,” I say and he nods, heading towards the group in a large round booth in the corner of the room.

 

I groan inwardly at the crowd around the bar, I might be here a while. Suddenly I feel a tap on my shoulder.

 

“Need help?” I turn to find a pretty redhead smiling up at me.

 

“I don’t think you’ll be able to carry seven pints on your own” she laughs as we walk closer to the counter.

 

“You’re Charlie and Em’s friend right…Mia?” I ask, unsure if I had her name right, I think Guy had pointed at her.

 

“Yeah, well more of a friend of Luke, we work together at the BBC…” she says.

 

“Which one’s Luke again?” I ask glancing back at the table.

 

“The dark haired one,” she says motioning to her head, the noise in the bar making it hard to hear.

 

“Right, well nice to meet you, I’m Jonny.” I say smiling. Noticing a gap in the crowd I push my way through to order a round of drinks for us and Mia waits to help me carry them back to our table.

 

“Tada! Now that’s talent” she says when we get there, “The man just carried four pints, I believe a round of applause is in order,” she sits at the end of the round booth and I slide in across the table from her, Guy happily awaiting his beer next to me.

 

“Great job mate, I knew you were good for something,” Guy says clapping me on the back and taking a sip of his beer.

 

“So how’s the studio been treating you guys?” Charlie asks, his arm around Emily.

 

“Ah, you know, good and bad.” Guy shrugs, nearly chugging now.

 

“Today – was a disaster” I say grimacing.

 

“Can’t all be rainbows and sunshine and shit, right? I mean your bleeding rock stars, you get to fuck hot women and snort lines off piles of money, you have to take the downs with the ups” Thomas chimes in, a bit of foam still on his upper lip.

 

The table erupts into laughter and Thomas grins wildly, amused by the reaction.

 

“Yes, exactly, women and coke. Though just the coke for Jon, he’s already got a girl,” Guy says still chuckling.

 

“Are you still with that girl we met in Birmingham, Jonny? I don’t remember her name -” Emily asks.

 

“Yeah, April.” I say nodding, “She’s in California right now actually, she’s writing for a tv show.”

 

“Really? Anything we’ve heard of,” Luke asks, twirling one of the coasters in his hand. I tell them the name of the show and their eyes go wide.

 

“Fucking hell, so has she spilled what’s going to happen for the end of the series?” Charlie asks, thoroughly interested.

 

“No, that’s what they’re working on now.” I say sipping my drink. I can feel Mia’s eyes on me but when I look at her she looks away.

 

We all chat for a while, Thomas telling us fascinating stories from his time in the military as a field medic, his tales becoming more farfetched with every round of drinks.

 

I can sense the familiar warmth starting to spread as I begin to feel the effects of the beer, the sleepy cloud settling about my ears and fogging my brain. Every now and then glancing at Mia to find her smiling at me. Was she flirting? I usually had a good sense about these things but she was hard to read.

 

“I could use another -” Guy slurs and then finishes off the rest of his beer. Raising an eyebrow in my direction.

 

“I take it that means me? I ask him, downing the rest of my beer as well, not really sure what round we are even on anymore.

 

“I’ll get the next round, I’m going to the toilet anyway.” Luke says as he motions for Mia to stand so that he can get past her. She stumbles slightly but regains balance sitting back down after he’s gone.

 

“So Mia, tell us about Luke quick, while he’s gone” Emily says in a loud whisper

 

“What do you want to know?” she asks, apprehensive.

 

“Well, are you guys dating? We think he has a thing for you.” She laughs and Charlie throws her a look.

 

“No, no no -” Mia shakes her head, her wavy locks moving as she does.

 

“Nothing like that. Nope, just friends.” She blushes slightly at having everyone staring at her.

 

I take the time to look at her more carefully now, taking in her appearance. Her deep red locks fall in subtle waves past her shoulders, her fair complexion flushed pink and her blue eyes glassy from drinking.

 

We chat a bit longer, and I begin wondering where the hell Luke wandered off to and what was taking so long.

 

“How’s single life Guy?” Emily asks turning the attention to Guy now.

 

“I can’t complain.” He shrugs, looking tired. I knew he’d probably leave after the next round of drinks and I contemplate how much longer I should stay. Checking the clock on the wall I see that it’s already almost 1 am and know the bar will be closing soon.

 

“You ready after this?” Charlie asks, kissing Emily’s cheek softly.

 

“We could leave now if you want, I’m getting kind of tired.” She replies yawning.

 

“Alright you lot, thanks for the drinks and the conversation. Until next time.” Charlie says once they’re up and have got themselves ready to go.

 

“Until next time.” Guy nods.

 

“It was nice to see you again,” I say waving them off.

 

Thom, Mia , Guy and I sit at the table, Guy asking Thomas about some of his more extravagant war stories while we wait for Luke to return.

 

“I’m gonna call it a night” Thom says drunkenly, nearly knocking Mia onto the floor in his attempt to get out of the booth.

 

“Hey man, easy,” I say standing up to help her. My reactions are slower than expected and I nearly bump into Luke carrying a tray full of shots, instead knocking my head against Mia’s in the confusion.

 

“Ow,” she says softly rubbing her head where we collided.

 

“Sorry, I was trying to help,” I say rubbing my own head.

 

“S’okay, I’m fine really, not your fault,” she laughs.

 

Thomas is already through the front door of the pub, giving no sign of return and I throw an apologetic glance at Mia.

 

“I guess I should head home too.” Guy says rubbing his eyes.

 

“You’re not driving are you?” I ask him, I was sure he was in no condition to drive.

 

“Nah, wanna share a taxi?” he asks pulling out a cigarette and gives lighting it four tries before realizing he’s not supposed to be smoking inside.

 

“We live in opposite directions, mate” I say giving his shoulder a squeeze.

 

“Right, fuck. I forgot you moved.” He yawns widely, “Okay well have a good night you two, nice to meet you,” he says waving to Mia and Luke.

 

“See you tomorrow?” Guy asks, turning back to me.

 

“It’s just us tomorrow, Will’s got company coming.” I remind him.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” He nods, the unlit cigarette still dangling from the side of his mouth.

 

“See ya” he says heading for the door. I watch him leave and then turn back to the table to see Luke and Mia are still here.

 

“Shit, everyone left? Who’s going to drink these?” he says sitting back down in the seat Guy had just vacated.

 

“Will you help me out here, man? I don’t want this to go to waste.” He asks looking up at me.

 

I know I’m already drunk and will have to take a cab anyway. It means the difference between a mild hangover and a crippling migraine but I just can’t let him do it himself.

 

“Alright, three each for us and Mia can do the seventh” I say sitting down.

 

“Fine with me – Mia?” Luke glances at her expectantly.

 

“Sure, I guess” she smiles.

 

The first shot is the worst, the bitter alcohol numbing my tongue and throat. The second goes down a bit easier and by the third the room is spinning slightly.

 

The night after that is a blur. Somewhere in the haze I remember staggering into a cab but I wasn’t alone and I didn’t end up at home.

 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

When my eyes open the next morning I’m face down in an unfamiliar bed, the sheets rough against my face like those of a cheap hotel. When I glance to my left my stomach lurches and my heart starts beating rapidly. Red wavy locks are cascading over the pillow and my eyes travel down the creamy, pale skin of her back, a sheet wrapped loosely around her middle.

 

The night comes back in flashes and I press my cool fingertips to my temples groaning from the painful scene playing before me.

 

I had slept with her. A woman I didn’t even know.

 

I will myself to wake up, screaming at myself inside my head to rouse from this excruciating nightmare but it’s no use. I sit up and pull on my trousers and shirt and make my way to the bathroom as quick as my legs will carry me. The ground feels uneven and wobbly and my head swims dizzily.

 

Flicking on the fluorescent lights of the bathroom I squint at the brightness, my head throbbing painfully. Falling to my knees on the cold tile floor I lurch over the porcelain toilet, my shoulders heave but nothing comes up. I can feel my eyes streaming from the nausea or perhaps from the realization.

 

When I think things couldn’t be worse I spot the contents of the small rubbish bin next to the toilet, littered with not one but two opened condom wrappers.

 

I’m sick now, the contents of my stomach emptied, praying that this isn’t really happening.

 

No, no.

 

This can’t really be happening, I wouldn’t do this to April. Not after all this time.

 

My shoulders and hands shake wildly as I fall back against the wall of the bathroom, disbelieving.

 

I shake my head trying to clear the image of my surroundings. This was too lucid to be a dream; not even nightmares are this agonizing.

 

I’m not sure what to do but I know that I can’t be here when she wakes up, I don’t want to know the details of last night, I just want to be as far away from this place as possible.

 

I pull some money from the wallet in my trousers and place it on the sink, it should be enough to cover the cost of the hotel room and a cab ride.

 

It feels cheap, leaving the money, like she had been a prostitute or something but I didn’t have time to spare her feelings, I had to save my sanity.

 

Searching for my trainers I pull them on, making sure I have my phone and keys before fleeing the hotel room.

 

I’m not sure where we are but the cabby mumbles, “Kentish Town” when I ask, giving me a strange look in the rearview mirror. I tell him to take me to the bar from last night so that I can get my car.

 

I sink back into the worn seat of the cab hiding my face in my hands and forcing back the tears with a shaky breath.

 

“All right?’” the cabby says when we arrive, turning to look at me.

 

“Thanks” I exit the cab and lean into the passenger window, pressing the fare plus a little extra into his awaiting hand scanning the street for my car.

 

Once inside I slump onto the steering wheel, my forehead pressing against the leather as I curse myself over and over again.

 

Glancing at the clock on the dash, the numbers tell me it’s 9:23am but it means little, I feel disconnected. I know I’m in no state to go to the Bakery today, I’d rather tell them I was sick then be a wreck the whole time. I pull out my phone to send a quick email to Brian and then text Guy to let him know I wasn’t feeling well and wouldn’t be in.

 

Slowly, I put the car in drive and make my way home, wanting nothing more than to take a scalding hot shower and spend the rest of the day in the refuge of sleep. I knew April would be ringing later but for the moment she was asleep, it was nearly 1:30 am in California and she wouldn’t be up for a while. I didn’t want to think about having to take her call, what would I even say?

 

 

 

 

Bad Jonny Bad!

Thanks for the new chapter!!!:D

You want more liberation?

All right...we'll storm the barricades together! *picks up revolutionary flag* Down with the king! :P

 

 

 

L I B E R A T I O N

CHAPTER 3 (The one that might make you cry...maybe)

 

 

My breath caught in my throat as I saw him. His face was pale, and tubes came out of his body like worms. I was shaking so badly that Will tightened his hold on my shoulders. Jonny appeared lifeless; he really did. Unable to look at him for a moment, I turned my gaze to the rest of the stark, white room. Chris sat in the corner, his tall outline tense.

 

He stared ahead, his eyes glazed and unfocused. His mind had shut down on him; I could tell. But I knew everything would catch up with him in a few hours (maybe days) and everything would crash down on him. He didn’t move to come up to us, but Will moved unconsciously closer to his chair. I felt horrible for Chris; Jonny was his closest friend. It was torture to see him so horribly subdued. It was the same with Will, although he hid it better than Chris. And me...I loved Jonny too. But I couldn’t think about my own pathetic feelings when I was the one who caused everyone else’s pain.

 

I had to be near Jonny. I shrugged off Will’s hands and moved numbly to Jonny’s side, reaching out to take his hand. His fingers felt dry and heavy in mine, and I sat down in the chair next to the bed, rubbing his wrist with my thumb. I glanced at Chris for a moment and saw that he had never taken his eyes off Jonny once. He looked back at me then, tears glistening behind his eyes. He stood up carefully and walked the few steps to my side. I felt myself burn with guilt, and fear because of it. As Chris’s friend, I wanted to reassure him, but I couldn’t. How could I? I felt a warm tear roll down my face. Chris’s face twisted, his brows slanted into a look of pain.

 

“It wasn’t your fault.” he whispered, as if reading my mind. I looked back at Jonny, who looked utterly peaceful despite the bandages covering his body. His heart monitor beeped steadily, but my own heart was pounding. Chris took my other hand in his, holding it tightly. I supposed he didn’t think I could handle much more than that. But I didn’t mind; whatever brought comfort to him was alright by me. I felt another tear make its way down my cheek, but I ignored it. I was too absorbed by the steady anguish that was creeping its way through me like poison.

 

“It is my fault.” I whispered.

 

Chris shook his head, his shoulders trembling slightly. Will had moved up to us and placed his hand firmly on the other man’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay.” But even he didn’t sound completely convinced. I looked up at Will, suddenly reminded of Jonny’s family, which was like another knife plunging through my insides.

 

“Where’s Chloe?”

 

“On her way from New York.” Will said, his brow furrowing. Apparently, he wasn’t so keen on having to face her either. I thought for a moment of Violet. What were we supposed to tell her? I’m sorry, honey, but your daddy may or may not live, and it’s all because of me. Chris let go of my hand suddenly, and I looked sideways at him as his warmth vanished. He looked as if he were about to be sick as he turned and fled from the room. Will and I stared at the empty doorway, and then the drummer swore and went after him, leaving me alone.

 

I leaned forward on my elbows, ignoring the pain in my ribs, and rested my arms on the side of the bed. I took a loose string between my fingers and rolled it around, scraping it with my nail. I felt like I was drifting; everything was moving at an unrealistic and painful pace. I stood up, unweaving my arms from under the rail, and drifted to the bottom of the bed. I picked up his chart from the table, scanned it, and quickly put it back. I couldn’t have read it for my life. I continued forward and sat on the edge of the mattress by his shoulder, wondering what was safe to touch and what wasn’t. I winced internally as I let my gaze wander to his head. Every day I saw him without his cap, but now he seemed smaller and more vulnerable without it. I grimaced and brushed some damp hair from his forehead as if I were handling a newborn.

 

“I’m so sorry.” I murmured, my voice thickening with tears. “I’m sorry, Jon.” I sat down on a chair and leaned forward, pressing my forehead against his shoulder; the one part of him I was certain wasn’t hurt. I felt a familiar tightness in my throat and stinging in my eyes. My breaths began to shudder and catch in my chest, and I shut my eyes against the onslaught of emotion. It was too much to manage, and I couldn’t hold it back. It took every ounce of my self control not to throw myself over Jonny and hold on for dear life. Instead, I covered my head with my hands and rested against his pillow.

 

For five minutes or so, I was left alone, crying weakly into Jonny’s shoulder. It hurt like hell, but I couldn’t stop.

 

Finally, something attempted to separate us. Hushed voices flew around my head, and I protested feebly as someone tried to pull me away from my friend. “No...” I groaned. “No, no...!” I shook my head violently, struggling as I was wrestled backwards. I tried to slip away from the invading hands, but they wouldn’t let me go.

 

Another voice soon joined the jumbled fray inside my head. “What the fuck are you doing? Let go of him!” I heard Will yell. His voice was tight with alarm. “Let GO!” At his command, the hands disappeared, and I folded in on myself, trembling violently with inexplicable terror.

 

For a moment, I was alone again. Then his hands came to hold me gently at the wrists. “Guy? Are you alright?” Will whispered, tentatively moving my arms to uncover my face. “It’s okay...” he said gently. I shook my head, trying to absorb the comfort of his presence. “Calm down, just calm...” he trailed off as I began to sob once more. Tears streamed down my face, and for a moment I could see Will staring at me.

 

“’S my fault...” I told him through my gasps. “I d-did this.”

 

“No.” he whispered, wrapping me gently in his arms. I melted against his chest, sobbing myself hoarse. “N-no, Guy...”

 

No matter how many times he told me it wasn’t my fault, I couldn’t believe him. All I could do was let him hold me and hope he would never let go.

 

 

AMAZINGLY written!! but, so sad!! :bigcry::bigcry:!!!!

 

poor guy + jonny. and will. and chris. :(:P

Gosh, when I started writing it I never realized the story would be this long :stunned: sorry if it's dragging on and on (I still have a bit more planned :lol:) and thank you to those who take the time to read it :heart:

 

A Warning Sign

 

Chapter Ten

 

 

 

 

May – Camden, London: Jonny

 

When we get there I can tell the place is pretty packed, people filtering in and out of the doors, a group of what seem to be students smoking on the street corner, a cloud of smoke rising above them in the night air. The smell of the smoke is tempting but I had promised April I would actually give quitting a decent try this time.

 

“What first?” Guy asks, pulling a few notes from his wallet but I push his arm down.

 

“Drinks on me, remember?” he smiles widely at the comment, tucking his wallet back into his pocket and it reminds me of our days at Uni. For some reason we still got a kick out of buying drinks for one another even though we were slightly better off these days.

 

“So who’s here?” I ask, practically yelling into his ear. The pub is loud, people chatting and laughing raucously, everyone seemingly enjoying themselves.

 

“You’ve met Charlie right? That’s his fiancee next to him, Emily, and their friends Luke, Mia and Thomas.” He’s pointing to the backs of their heads and I know there’s no way I’ll ever remember them all, apart from Charlie who I’d seen at a few of Guy’s parties before.

 

“You sit down, I’ll get the drinks,” I say and he nods, heading towards the group in a large round booth in the corner of the room.

 

I groan inwardly at the crowd around the bar, I might be here a while. Suddenly I feel a tap on my shoulder.

 

“Need help?” I turn to find a pretty redhead smiling up at me.

 

“I don’t think you’ll be able to carry seven pints on your own” she laughs as we walk closer to the counter.

 

“You’re Charlie and Em’s friend right…Mia?” I ask, unsure if I had her name right, I think Guy had pointed at her.

 

“Yeah, well more of a friend of Luke, we work together at the BBC…” she says.

 

“Which one’s Luke again?” I ask glancing back at the table.

 

“The dark haired one,” she says motioning to her head, the noise in the bar making it hard to hear.

 

“Right, well nice to meet you, I’m Jonny.” I say smiling. Noticing a gap in the crowd I push my way through to order a round of drinks for us and Mia waits to help me carry them back to our table.

 

“Tada! Now that’s talent” she says when we get there, “The man just carried four pints, I believe a round of applause is in order,” she sits at the end of the round booth and I slide in across the table from her, Guy happily awaiting his beer next to me.

 

“Great job mate, I knew you were good for something,” Guy says clapping me on the back and taking a sip of his beer.

 

“So how’s the studio been treating you guys?” Charlie asks, his arm around Emily.

 

“Ah, you know, good and bad.” Guy shrugs, nearly chugging now.

 

“Today – was a disaster” I say grimacing.

 

“Can’t all be rainbows and sunshine and shit, right? I mean your bleeding rock stars, you get to fuck hot women and snort lines off piles of money, you have to take the downs with the ups” Thomas chimes in, a bit of foam still on his upper lip.

 

The table erupts into laughter and Thomas grins wildly, amused by the reaction.

 

“Yes, exactly, women and coke. Though just the coke for Jon, he’s already got a girl,” Guy says still chuckling.

 

“Are you still with that girl we met in Birmingham, Jonny? I don’t remember her name -” Emily asks.

 

“Yeah, April.” I say nodding, “She’s in California right now actually, she’s writing for a tv show.”

 

“Really? Anything we’ve heard of,” Luke asks, twirling one of the coasters in his hand. I tell them the name of the show and their eyes go wide.

 

“Fucking hell, so has she spilled what’s going to happen for the end of the series?” Charlie asks, thoroughly interested.

 

“No, that’s what they’re working on now.” I say sipping my drink. I can feel Mia’s eyes on me but when I look at her she looks away.

 

We all chat for a while, Thomas telling us fascinating stories from his time in the military as a field medic, his tales becoming more farfetched with every round of drinks.

 

I can sense the familiar warmth starting to spread as I begin to feel the effects of the beer, the sleepy cloud settling about my ears and fogging my brain. Every now and then glancing at Mia to find her smiling at me. Was she flirting? I usually had a good sense about these things but she was hard to read.

 

“I could use another -” Guy slurs and then finishes off the rest of his beer. Raising an eyebrow in my direction.

 

“I take it that means me? I ask him, downing the rest of my beer as well, not really sure what round we are even on anymore.

 

“I’ll get the next round, I’m going to the toilet anyway.” Luke says as he motions for Mia to stand so that he can get past her. She stumbles slightly but regains balance sitting back down after he’s gone.

 

“So Mia, tell us about Luke quick, while he’s gone” Emily says in a loud whisper

 

“What do you want to know?” she asks, apprehensive.

 

“Well, are you guys dating? We think he has a thing for you.” She laughs and Charlie throws her a look.

 

“No, no no -” Mia shakes her head, her wavy locks moving as she does.

 

“Nothing like that. Nope, just friends.” She blushes slightly at having everyone staring at her.

 

I take the time to look at her more carefully now, taking in her appearance. Her deep red locks fall in subtle waves past her shoulders, her fair complexion flushed pink and her blue eyes glassy from drinking.

 

We chat a bit longer, and I begin wondering where the hell Luke wandered off to and what was taking so long.

 

“How’s single life Guy?” Emily asks turning the attention to Guy now.

 

“I can’t complain.” He shrugs, looking tired. I knew he’d probably leave after the next round of drinks and I contemplate how much longer I should stay. Checking the clock on the wall I see that it’s already almost 1 am and know the bar will be closing soon.

 

“You ready after this?” Charlie asks, kissing Emily’s cheek softly.

 

“We could leave now if you want, I’m getting kind of tired.” She replies yawning.

 

“Alright you lot, thanks for the drinks and the conversation. Until next time.” Charlie says once they’re up and have got themselves ready to go.

 

“Until next time.” Guy nods.

 

“It was nice to see you again,” I say waving them off.

 

Thom, Mia , Guy and I sit at the table, Guy asking Thomas about some of his more extravagant war stories while we wait for Luke to return.

 

“I’m gonna call it a night” Thom says drunkenly, nearly knocking Mia onto the floor in his attempt to get out of the booth.

 

“Hey man, easy,” I say standing up to help her. My reactions are slower than expected and I nearly bump into Luke carrying a tray full of shots, instead knocking my head against Mia’s in the confusion.

 

“Ow,” she says softly rubbing her head where we collided.

 

“Sorry, I was trying to help,” I say rubbing my own head.

 

“S’okay, I’m fine really, not your fault,” she laughs.

 

Thomas is already through the front door of the pub, giving no sign of return and I throw an apologetic glance at Mia.

 

“I guess I should head home too.” Guy says rubbing his eyes.

 

“You’re not driving are you?” I ask him, I was sure he was in no condition to drive.

 

“Nah, wanna share a taxi?” he asks pulling out a cigarette and gives lighting it four tries before realizing he’s not supposed to be smoking inside.

 

“We live in opposite directions, mate” I say giving his shoulder a squeeze.

 

“Right, fuck. I forgot you moved.” He yawns widely, “Okay well have a good night you two, nice to meet you,” he says waving to Mia and Luke.

 

“See you tomorrow?” Guy asks, turning back to me.

 

“It’s just us tomorrow, Will’s got company coming.” I remind him.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” He nods, the unlit cigarette still dangling from the side of his mouth.

 

“See ya” he says heading for the door. I watch him leave and then turn back to the table to see Luke and Mia are still here.

 

“Shit, everyone left? Who’s going to drink these?” he says sitting back down in the seat Guy had just vacated.

 

“Will you help me out here, man? I don’t want this to go to waste.” He asks looking up at me.

 

I know I’m already drunk and will have to take a cab anyway. It means the difference between a mild hangover and a crippling migraine but I just can’t let him do it himself.

 

“Alright, three each for us and Mia can do the seventh” I say sitting down.

 

“Fine with me – Mia?” Luke glances at her expectantly.

 

“Sure, I guess” she smiles.

 

The first shot is the worst, the bitter alcohol numbing my tongue and throat. The second goes down a bit easier and by the third the room is spinning slightly.

 

The night after that is a blur. Somewhere in the haze I remember staggering into a cab but I wasn’t alone and I didn’t end up at home.

 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

When my eyes open the next morning I’m face down in an unfamiliar bed, the sheets rough against my face like those of a cheap hotel. When I glance to my left my stomach lurches and my heart starts beating rapidly. Red wavy locks are cascading over the pillow and my eyes travel down the creamy, pale skin of her back, a sheet wrapped loosely around her middle.

 

The night comes back in flashes and I press my cool fingertips to my temples groaning from the painful scene playing before me.

 

I had slept with her. A woman I didn’t even know.

 

I will myself to wake up, screaming at myself inside my head to rouse from this excruciating nightmare but it’s no use. I sit up and pull on my trousers and shirt and make my way to the bathroom as quick as my legs will carry me. The ground feels uneven and wobbly and my head swims dizzily.

 

Flicking on the fluorescent lights of the bathroom I squint at the brightness, my head throbbing painfully. Falling to my knees on the cold tile floor I lurch over the porcelain toilet, my shoulders heave but nothing comes up. I can feel my eyes streaming from the nausea or perhaps from the realization.

 

When I think things couldn’t be worse I spot the contents of the small rubbish bin next to the toilet, littered with not one but two opened condom wrappers.

 

I’m sick now, the contents of my stomach emptied, praying that this isn’t really happening.

 

No, no.

 

This can’t really be happening, I wouldn’t do this to April. Not after all this time.

 

My shoulders and hands shake wildly as I fall back against the wall of the bathroom, disbelieving.

 

I shake my head trying to clear the image of my surroundings. This was too lucid to be a dream; not even nightmares are this agonizing.

 

I’m not sure what to do but I know that I can’t be here when she wakes up, I don’t want to know the details of last night, I just want to be as far away from this place as possible.

 

I pull some money from the wallet in my trousers and place it on the sink, it should be enough to cover the cost of the hotel room and a cab ride.

 

It feels cheap, leaving the money, like she had been a prostitute or something but I didn’t have time to spare her feelings, I had to save my sanity.

 

Searching for my trainers I pull them on, making sure I have my phone and keys before fleeing the hotel room.

 

I’m not sure where we are but the cabby mumbles, “Kentish Town” when I ask, giving me a strange look in the rearview mirror. I tell him to take me to the bar from last night so that I can get my car.

 

I sink back into the worn seat of the cab hiding my face in my hands and forcing back the tears with a shaky breath.

 

“All right?’” the cabby says when we arrive, turning to look at me.

 

“Thanks” I exit the cab and lean into the passenger window, pressing the fare plus a little extra into his awaiting hand scanning the street for my car.

 

Once inside I slump onto the steering wheel, my forehead pressing against the leather as I curse myself over and over again.

 

Glancing at the clock on the dash, the numbers tell me it’s 9:23am but it means little, I feel disconnected. I know I’m in no state to go to the Bakery today, I’d rather tell them I was sick then be a wreck the whole time. I pull out my phone to send a quick email to Brian and then text Guy to let him know I wasn’t feeling well and wouldn’t be in.

 

Slowly, I put the car in drive and make my way home, wanting nothing more than to take a scalding hot shower and spend the rest of the day in the refuge of sleep. I knew April would be ringing later but for the moment she was asleep, it was nearly 1:30 am in California and she wouldn’t be up for a while. I didn’t want to think about having to take her call, what would I even say?

 

 

 

 

I was cracking up this whole chapter, because I can so see it happening. :lol: Poor Jonny.

^ :stunned: Kyra, this is no laughing matter, poor Jonny indeed!

 

 

 

 

:P

Well, this is what you get when you should be studying for your tomorrow's Social Psichology exam:thinking:

 

It just kind of came to me, it's angsty and I don't know what comes next or if anything will come from this at all.

 

######################

 

I Will Try To Fix You

 

 

It was hard seeing them everyday so happy. While their band mates had someone to rely on, someone to love and love them back, someone to comfort them when they felt a bit down.

 

Guy Berryman didn’t have this. Yes, he had his ex-wife as a dear friend but that was it. And even Joanna had a new boyfriend now. He remembered a time when they were each other’s only love. They have known each other since they were kids and grew up together, finding in the other their soul mate. That was in past now.

 

He felt depressed more often than ever before and that was scaring him. He could be calm at times, sometimes grumpy but never this depressed. The drinking had stopped with the birth of his beloved daughter, the partying followed suit. The only joy he felt these days was either the concerts or the moments he spent with his little child.

 

Also, he felt ignored. Sure, he had his friends and family but they didn’t notice anything strange in his behaviour these past few months. He only saw their smiles and their laughter but never were those expressions directed at or shared with him.

 

Today was another one of those days. Chris, Jonny and Will were out with their families, enjoying the beginning of the summer, while he was wandering the city alone, his thoughts providing him some sort of company since his daughter wasn’t arriving until the next day with her mother.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The tour was going better than ever and the band was in a great shape in every sense. They were giving everything they had to the crowds that so genuinely loved them.

He just wondered how much longer he would be able to handle everything. He didn’t sleep, he didn’t eat as much anymore, he just didn’t have the energy or the will to do anything. But he knew he had to fight through this, even if he was alone during the process, even if the only thing keeping him afloat at this point was Nico.

 

 

 

Blahh, I'm not happy with it......

aww, i really like it!! can't wait to read more!!:D!!

aww its really good x

Well, this is what you get when you should be studying for your tomorrow's Social Psichology exam:thinking:

 

It just kind of came to me, it's angsty and I don't know what comes next or if anything will come from this at all.

 

Well, you know our motto:

You post it, you finish it! :P

You want more liberation?

All right...we'll storm the barricades together! *picks up revolutionary flag* Down with the king! :P

 

 

 

L I B E R A T I O N

CHAPTER 3 (The one that might make you cry...maybe)

 

 

My breath caught in my throat as I saw him. His face was pale, and tubes came out of his body like worms. I was shaking so badly that Will tightened his hold on my shoulders. Jonny appeared lifeless; he really did. Unable to look at him for a moment, I turned my gaze to the rest of the stark, white room. Chris sat in the corner, his tall outline tense.

 

He stared ahead, his eyes glazed and unfocused. His mind had shut down on him; I could tell. But I knew everything would catch up with him in a few hours (maybe days) and everything would crash down on him. He didn’t move to come up to us, but Will moved unconsciously closer to his chair. I felt horrible for Chris; Jonny was his closest friend. It was torture to see him so horribly subdued. It was the same with Will, although he hid it better than Chris. And me...I loved Jonny too. But I couldn’t think about my own pathetic feelings when I was the one who caused everyone else’s pain.

 

I had to be near Jonny. I shrugged off Will’s hands and moved numbly to Jonny’s side, reaching out to take his hand. His fingers felt dry and heavy in mine, and I sat down in the chair next to the bed, rubbing his wrist with my thumb. I glanced at Chris for a moment and saw that he had never taken his eyes off Jonny once. He looked back at me then, tears glistening behind his eyes. He stood up carefully and walked the few steps to my side. I felt myself burn with guilt, and fear because of it. As Chris’s friend, I wanted to reassure him, but I couldn’t. How could I? I felt a warm tear roll down my face. Chris’s face twisted, his brows slanted into a look of pain.

 

“It wasn’t your fault.” he whispered, as if reading my mind. I looked back at Jonny, who looked utterly peaceful despite the bandages covering his body. His heart monitor beeped steadily, but my own heart was pounding. Chris took my other hand in his, holding it tightly. I supposed he didn’t think I could handle much more than that. But I didn’t mind; whatever brought comfort to him was alright by me. I felt another tear make its way down my cheek, but I ignored it. I was too absorbed by the steady anguish that was creeping its way through me like poison.

 

“It is my fault.” I whispered.

 

Chris shook his head, his shoulders trembling slightly. Will had moved up to us and placed his hand firmly on the other man’s shoulder. “It’s going to be okay.” But even he didn’t sound completely convinced. I looked up at Will, suddenly reminded of Jonny’s family, which was like another knife plunging through my insides.

 

“Where’s Chloe?”

 

“On her way from New York.” Will said, his brow furrowing. Apparently, he wasn’t so keen on having to face her either. I thought for a moment of Violet. What were we supposed to tell her? I’m sorry, honey, but your daddy may or may not live, and it’s all because of me. Chris let go of my hand suddenly, and I looked sideways at him as his warmth vanished. He looked as if he were about to be sick as he turned and fled from the room. Will and I stared at the empty doorway, and then the drummer swore and went after him, leaving me alone.

 

I leaned forward on my elbows, ignoring the pain in my ribs, and rested my arms on the side of the bed. I took a loose string between my fingers and rolled it around, scraping it with my nail. I felt like I was drifting; everything was moving at an unrealistic and painful pace. I stood up, unweaving my arms from under the rail, and drifted to the bottom of the bed. I picked up his chart from the table, scanned it, and quickly put it back. I couldn’t have read it for my life. I continued forward and sat on the edge of the mattress by his shoulder, wondering what was safe to touch and what wasn’t. I winced internally as I let my gaze wander to his head. Every day I saw him without his cap, but now he seemed smaller and more vulnerable without it. I grimaced and brushed some damp hair from his forehead as if I were handling a newborn.

 

“I’m so sorry.” I murmured, my voice thickening with tears. “I’m sorry, Jon.” I sat down on a chair and leaned forward, pressing my forehead against his shoulder; the one part of him I was certain wasn’t hurt. I felt a familiar tightness in my throat and stinging in my eyes. My breaths began to shudder and catch in my chest, and I shut my eyes against the onslaught of emotion. It was too much to manage, and I couldn’t hold it back. It took every ounce of my self control not to throw myself over Jonny and hold on for dear life. Instead, I covered my head with my hands and rested against his pillow.

 

For five minutes or so, I was left alone, crying weakly into Jonny’s shoulder. It hurt like hell, but I couldn’t stop.

 

Finally, something attempted to separate us. Hushed voices flew around my head, and I protested feebly as someone tried to pull me away from my friend. “No...” I groaned. “No, no...!” I shook my head violently, struggling as I was wrestled backwards. I tried to slip away from the invading hands, but they wouldn’t let me go.

 

Another voice soon joined the jumbled fray inside my head. “What the fuck are you doing? Let go of him!” I heard Will yell. His voice was tight with alarm. “Let GO!” At his command, the hands disappeared, and I folded in on myself, trembling violently with inexplicable terror.

 

For a moment, I was alone again. Then his hands came to hold me gently at the wrists. “Guy? Are you alright?” Will whispered, tentatively moving my arms to uncover my face. “It’s okay...” he said gently. I shook my head, trying to absorb the comfort of his presence. “Calm down, just calm...” he trailed off as I began to sob once more. Tears streamed down my face, and for a moment I could see Will staring at me.

 

“’S my fault...” I told him through my gasps. “I d-did this.”

 

“No.” he whispered, wrapping me gently in his arms. I melted against his chest, sobbing myself hoarse. “N-no, Guy...”

 

No matter how many times he told me it wasn’t my fault, I couldn’t believe him. All I could do was let him hold me and hope he would never let go.

 

:cry::cry:!!

 

excellent writing though!!:clap::clap:!!

Thank you so much for the reviews! It really means a lot to me:)

 

Well, about continuing, I hope I get inspired or something because I don't want to post something that no one likes. I also have a big weakness which is: English is not my first language obviously;)

 

I do love to read all fanfics in here though, so to everybody that's writing, keep giving us your wonderful stories please.

Oh, you're from Portugal? :D

I'm half Brazilian, but I don't know Portuguese. :shame:

Well, this is what you get when you should be studying for your tomorrow's Social Psichology exam:thinking:

 

It just kind of came to me, it's angsty and I don't know what comes next or if anything will come from this at all.

 

######################

 

I Will Try To Fix You

 

 

It was hard seeing them everyday so happy. While their band mates had someone to rely on, someone to love and love them back, someone to comfort them when they felt a bit down.

 

Guy Berryman didn’t have this. Yes, he had his ex-wife as a dear friend but that was it. And even Joanna had a new boyfriend now. He remembered a time when they were each other’s only love. They have known each other since they were kids and grew up together, finding in the other their soul mate. That was in past now.

 

He felt depressed more often than ever before and that was scaring him. He could be calm at times, sometimes grumpy but never this depressed. The drinking had stopped with the birth of his beloved daughter, the partying followed suit. The only joy he felt these days was either the concerts or the moments he spent with his little child.

 

Also, he felt ignored. Sure, he had his friends and family but they didn’t notice anything strange in his behaviour these past few months. He only saw their smiles and their laughter but never were those expressions directed at or shared with him.

 

Today was another one of those days. Chris, Jonny and Will were out with their families, enjoying the beginning of the summer, while he was wandering the city alone, his thoughts providing him some sort of company since his daughter wasn’t arriving until the next day with her mother.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The tour was going better than ever and the band was in a great shape in every sense. They were giving everything they had to the crowds that so genuinely loved them.

He just wondered how much longer he would be able to handle everything. He didn’t sleep, he didn’t eat as much anymore, he just didn’t have the energy or the will to do anything. But he knew he had to fight through this, even if he was alone during the process, even if the only thing keeping him afloat at this point was Nico.

 

 

 

Blahh, I'm not happy with it......

 

aww poor Guy!:heart:this story is realy really good!!:Dyes what Kyra said"YOU POST IT YOU FINISH IT!":P,cant wait to read more:dance:

Gosh, when I started writing it I never realized the story would be this long :stunned: sorry if it's dragging on and on (I still have a bit more planned :lol:) and thank you to those who take the time to read it :heart:

 

A Warning Sign

 

Chapter Ten

 

 

 

 

May – Camden, London: Jonny

 

When we get there I can tell the place is pretty packed, people filtering in and out of the doors, a group of what seem to be students smoking on the street corner, a cloud of smoke rising above them in the night air. The smell of the smoke is tempting but I had promised April I would actually give quitting a decent try this time.

 

“What first?” Guy asks, pulling a few notes from his wallet but I push his arm down.

 

“Drinks on me, remember?” he smiles widely at the comment, tucking his wallet back into his pocket and it reminds me of our days at Uni. For some reason we still got a kick out of buying drinks for one another even though we were slightly better off these days.

 

“So who’s here?” I ask, practically yelling into his ear. The pub is loud, people chatting and laughing raucously, everyone seemingly enjoying themselves.

 

“You’ve met Charlie right? That’s his fiancee next to him, Emily, and their friends Luke, Mia and Thomas.” He’s pointing to the backs of their heads and I know there’s no way I’ll ever remember them all, apart from Charlie who I’d seen at a few of Guy’s parties before.

 

“You sit down, I’ll get the drinks,” I say and he nods, heading towards the group in a large round booth in the corner of the room.

 

I groan inwardly at the crowd around the bar, I might be here a while. Suddenly I feel a tap on my shoulder.

 

“Need help?” I turn to find a pretty redhead smiling up at me.

 

“I don’t think you’ll be able to carry seven pints on your own” she laughs as we walk closer to the counter.

 

“You’re Charlie and Em’s friend right…Mia?” I ask, unsure if I had her name right, I think Guy had pointed at her.

 

“Yeah, well more of a friend of Luke, we work together at the BBC…” she says.

 

“Which one’s Luke again?” I ask glancing back at the table.

 

“The dark haired one,” she says motioning to her head, the noise in the bar making it hard to hear.

 

“Right, well nice to meet you, I’m Jonny.” I say smiling. Noticing a gap in the crowd I push my way through to order a round of drinks for us and Mia waits to help me carry them back to our table.

 

“Tada! Now that’s talent” she says when we get there, “The man just carried four pints, I believe a round of applause is in order,” she sits at the end of the round booth and I slide in across the table from her, Guy happily awaiting his beer next to me.

 

“Great job mate, I knew you were good for something,” Guy says clapping me on the back and taking a sip of his beer.

 

“So how’s the studio been treating you guys?” Charlie asks, his arm around Emily.

 

“Ah, you know, good and bad.” Guy shrugs, nearly chugging now.

 

“Today – was a disaster” I say grimacing.

 

“Can’t all be rainbows and sunshine and shit, right? I mean your bleeding rock stars, you get to fuck hot women and snort lines off piles of money, you have to take the downs with the ups” Thomas chimes in, a bit of foam still on his upper lip.

 

The table erupts into laughter and Thomas grins wildly, amused by the reaction.

 

“Yes, exactly, women and coke. Though just the coke for Jon, he’s already got a girl,” Guy says still chuckling.

 

“Are you still with that girl we met in Birmingham, Jonny? I don’t remember her name -” Emily asks.

 

“Yeah, April.” I say nodding, “She’s in California right now actually, she’s writing for a tv show.”

 

“Really? Anything we’ve heard of,” Luke asks, twirling one of the coasters in his hand. I tell them the name of the show and their eyes go wide.

 

“Fucking hell, so has she spilled what’s going to happen for the end of the series?” Charlie asks, thoroughly interested.

 

“No, that’s what they’re working on now.” I say sipping my drink. I can feel Mia’s eyes on me but when I look at her she looks away.

 

We all chat for a while, Thomas telling us fascinating stories from his time in the military as a field medic, his tales becoming more farfetched with every round of drinks.

 

I can sense the familiar warmth starting to spread as I begin to feel the effects of the beer, the sleepy cloud settling about my ears and fogging my brain. Every now and then glancing at Mia to find her smiling at me. Was she flirting? I usually had a good sense about these things but she was hard to read.

 

“I could use another -” Guy slurs and then finishes off the rest of his beer. Raising an eyebrow in my direction.

 

“I take it that means me? I ask him, downing the rest of my beer as well, not really sure what round we are even on anymore.

 

“I’ll get the next round, I’m going to the toilet anyway.” Luke says as he motions for Mia to stand so that he can get past her. She stumbles slightly but regains balance sitting back down after he’s gone.

 

“So Mia, tell us about Luke quick, while he’s gone” Emily says in a loud whisper

 

“What do you want to know?” she asks, apprehensive.

 

“Well, are you guys dating? We think he has a thing for you.” She laughs and Charlie throws her a look.

 

“No, no no -” Mia shakes her head, her wavy locks moving as she does.

 

“Nothing like that. Nope, just friends.” She blushes slightly at having everyone staring at her.

 

I take the time to look at her more carefully now, taking in her appearance. Her deep red locks fall in subtle waves past her shoulders, her fair complexion flushed pink and her blue eyes glassy from drinking.

 

We chat a bit longer, and I begin wondering where the hell Luke wandered off to and what was taking so long.

 

“How’s single life Guy?” Emily asks turning the attention to Guy now.

 

“I can’t complain.” He shrugs, looking tired. I knew he’d probably leave after the next round of drinks and I contemplate how much longer I should stay. Checking the clock on the wall I see that it’s already almost 1 am and know the bar will be closing soon.

 

“You ready after this?” Charlie asks, kissing Emily’s cheek softly.

 

“We could leave now if you want, I’m getting kind of tired.” She replies yawning.

 

“Alright you lot, thanks for the drinks and the conversation. Until next time.” Charlie says once they’re up and have got themselves ready to go.

 

“Until next time.” Guy nods.

 

“It was nice to see you again,” I say waving them off.

 

Thom, Mia , Guy and I sit at the table, Guy asking Thomas about some of his more extravagant war stories while we wait for Luke to return.

 

“I’m gonna call it a night” Thom says drunkenly, nearly knocking Mia onto the floor in his attempt to get out of the booth.

 

“Hey man, easy,” I say standing up to help her. My reactions are slower than expected and I nearly bump into Luke carrying a tray full of shots, instead knocking my head against Mia’s in the confusion.

 

“Ow,” she says softly rubbing her head where we collided.

 

“Sorry, I was trying to help,” I say rubbing my own head.

 

“S’okay, I’m fine really, not your fault,” she laughs.

 

Thomas is already through the front door of the pub, giving no sign of return and I throw an apologetic glance at Mia.

 

“I guess I should head home too.” Guy says rubbing his eyes.

 

“You’re not driving are you?” I ask him, I was sure he was in no condition to drive.

 

“Nah, wanna share a taxi?” he asks pulling out a cigarette and gives lighting it four tries before realizing he’s not supposed to be smoking inside.

 

“We live in opposite directions, mate” I say giving his shoulder a squeeze.

 

“Right, fuck. I forgot you moved.” He yawns widely, “Okay well have a good night you two, nice to meet you,” he says waving to Mia and Luke.

 

“See you tomorrow?” Guy asks, turning back to me.

 

“It’s just us tomorrow, Will’s got company coming.” I remind him.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” He nods, the unlit cigarette still dangling from the side of his mouth.

 

“See ya” he says heading for the door. I watch him leave and then turn back to the table to see Luke and Mia are still here.

 

“Shit, everyone left? Who’s going to drink these?” he says sitting back down in the seat Guy had just vacated.

 

“Will you help me out here, man? I don’t want this to go to waste.” He asks looking up at me.

 

I know I’m already drunk and will have to take a cab anyway. It means the difference between a mild hangover and a crippling migraine but I just can’t let him do it himself.

 

“Alright, three each for us and Mia can do the seventh” I say sitting down.

 

“Fine with me – Mia?” Luke glances at her expectantly.

 

“Sure, I guess” she smiles.

 

The first shot is the worst, the bitter alcohol numbing my tongue and throat. The second goes down a bit easier and by the third the room is spinning slightly.

 

The night after that is a blur. Somewhere in the haze I remember staggering into a cab but I wasn’t alone and I didn’t end up at home.

 

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

When my eyes open the next morning I’m face down in an unfamiliar bed, the sheets rough against my face like those of a cheap hotel. When I glance to my left my stomach lurches and my heart starts beating rapidly. Red wavy locks are cascading over the pillow and my eyes travel down the creamy, pale skin of her back, a sheet wrapped loosely around her middle.

 

The night comes back in flashes and I press my cool fingertips to my temples groaning from the painful scene playing before me.

 

I had slept with her. A woman I didn’t even know.

 

I will myself to wake up, screaming at myself inside my head to rouse from this excruciating nightmare but it’s no use. I sit up and pull on my trousers and shirt and make my way to the bathroom as quick as my legs will carry me. The ground feels uneven and wobbly and my head swims dizzily.

 

Flicking on the fluorescent lights of the bathroom I squint at the brightness, my head throbbing painfully. Falling to my knees on the cold tile floor I lurch over the porcelain toilet, my shoulders heave but nothing comes up. I can feel my eyes streaming from the nausea or perhaps from the realization.

 

When I think things couldn’t be worse I spot the contents of the small rubbish bin next to the toilet, littered with not one but two opened condom wrappers.

 

I’m sick now, the contents of my stomach emptied, praying that this isn’t really happening.

 

No, no.

 

This can’t really be happening, I wouldn’t do this to April. Not after all this time.

 

My shoulders and hands shake wildly as I fall back against the wall of the bathroom, disbelieving.

 

I shake my head trying to clear the image of my surroundings. This was too lucid to be a dream; not even nightmares are this agonizing.

 

I’m not sure what to do but I know that I can’t be here when she wakes up, I don’t want to know the details of last night, I just want to be as far away from this place as possible.

 

I pull some money from the wallet in my trousers and place it on the sink, it should be enough to cover the cost of the hotel room and a cab ride.

 

It feels cheap, leaving the money, like she had been a prostitute or something but I didn’t have time to spare her feelings, I had to save my sanity.

 

Searching for my trainers I pull them on, making sure I have my phone and keys before fleeing the hotel room.

 

I’m not sure where we are but the cabby mumbles, “Kentish Town” when I ask, giving me a strange look in the rearview mirror. I tell him to take me to the bar from last night so that I can get my car.

 

I sink back into the worn seat of the cab hiding my face in my hands and forcing back the tears with a shaky breath.

 

“All right?’” the cabby says when we arrive, turning to look at me.

 

“Thanks” I exit the cab and lean into the passenger window, pressing the fare plus a little extra into his awaiting hand scanning the street for my car.

 

Once inside I slump onto the steering wheel, my forehead pressing against the leather as I curse myself over and over again.

 

Glancing at the clock on the dash, the numbers tell me it’s 9:23am but it means little, I feel disconnected. I know I’m in no state to go to the Bakery today, I’d rather tell them I was sick then be a wreck the whole time. I pull out my phone to send a quick email to Brian and then text Guy to let him know I wasn’t feeling well and wouldn’t be in.

 

Slowly, I put the car in drive and make my way home, wanting nothing more than to take a scalding hot shower and spend the rest of the day in the refuge of sleep. I knew April would be ringing later but for the moment she was asleep, it was nearly 1:30 am in California and she wouldn’t be up for a while. I didn’t want to think about having to take her call, what would I even say?

 

 

 

 

bad Jonny badd:whip::lol:love the new chapter!!caint wait for more:dance:

bad Jonny badd:whip::lol:love the new chapter!!caint wait for more:dance:

 

Don't look if you haven't read the latest chapter. I'm about to use the spoiler tags for what they were intended for. Spoilers. :P

 

 

 

I'm a bit confused. Jonny has to be the most responsible member of the band. right?

 

If he wakes up next to a girl he just met, then shouldn't Guy be waking up half-naked in a tree next to a squirrel who's holding a bag of date-rape drugs in its teeth?

 

It seems quite logical to me. :P