Lost

or

Incomplete

Chapter One

 

 

“Guy... Guy...”

 

Chris waved his hand in front of Guy's face. His eyes were glazed and unfocused. A few moments later he seemed to have snapped out of his trance-like state. He looked at Chris with a bit of confusion. Chris stood up, his hands on his hips.

 

“Guy, it's closing time. You can go home now.”

 

“Oh...” Guy stood up as well. He looked around a bit and rubbed the back of his neck. “I-I didn't realize...”

 

“It's fine,” Chris told him, holding up his hand. “Just, next time, make sure you don't space out like that. Because I'm not always gonna realize you're still here, and one day you're gonna end up stuck in here overnight.”

 

“Yes, sir.” Guy kept his eyes down. Chris always intimidated him. “I-I'll see you tomorrow...”

 

“Oh, right. I'm opening late tomorrow. Liz is having guests over in the evening and she needs me to fix... well, something or other. You know.” Chris threw his hand carelessly in the air to show his apathy. He began to walk toward a toolbox opened and resting on a work bench. As his back was turned to Guy, he raised his voice. “So, come in around ten or so. And I thought I told you to cut it out with that 'sir' nonsense. I haven't been knighted, you know.”

 

He slowly put a few discarded tools inside the box. Guy cautiously walked up beside him. “Sorry, boss,” Guy said. Chris looked at him, examined him for a while with a blank expression.

 

“Goodnight, Guy,” he conclusively said. Guy drew a nervous breath before finally following Chris's instruction. He walked out of the garage, into the cold and dark night. He could see his breath a little every time he exhaled. The walk to his car felt as long as the Great Wall.

 

Guy sat inside, his hands gripping the steering wheel. He had spaced out again, as he often did. But it wasn't as though he was thinking of anything in particular. He was just staring out of the windshield for a while.

 

Then slowly his eyes trailed down. He started the car and gripped the steering wheel tighter. He didn't really want to go home; something he would never have told anyone was that he would love to be stuck there as Chris had warned him about. He thought it would have been nice.

 

But the rational portion of his brain took over and he began to drive away from the auto shop. He had on several occasions thought about what would happen if he spaced while driving home. It wasn't such an uncommon thing for a person to go about a routine without thinking about it, but with driving there was always the possibility that he could end up in an accident.

 

If he was laying damaged in a hospital bed, would anyone visit him?

 

Guy never surrounded himself with people. His only friend- the only person he considered to be his friend, anyway- was his roommate, Will. He didn't like people very much. But he wanted to.

 

“You left the, uh, toaster plugged in this morning,” Will said from the comfort of the living room sofa. Guy blinked at him a few times.

 

“Oh.” Guy didn't even remember making toast at any point that day. “I must have... forgotten...”

 

“Well, I unplugged it. So.”

 

Guy nodded shortly. He walked into the kitchen to grab something to drink. He took a swig from the carton of orange juice on the first shelf. Will wouldn't mind. He closed the fridge and stared at the counter where the toaster was.

 

There was nothing good on TV. There never was. Guy watched from the kitchen as Will flicked through the channels without stopping even once. When all the channels had been gone through, he started over. Guy walked to his room.

 

Some insomniac people count sheep to lull them into unconsciousness. Guy counted ceiling tiles. He never got past five before his mind drifted and he began wondering if anyone really did count sheep.

 

He could hear Will in the other room. It sounded as though he was speaking to someone on the phone. His girlfriend, perhaps. He couldn't make out what Will was saying.

 

Guy thought about what work he had for the next day. Then he remembered that he didn't know. Any cars he had been working on had been finished up that day, so only time would tell what was next.

 

He wondered if he could sleep with his eyes open. He wondered if he did. It seemed to be a highly conceivable concept.

 

Will's voice was growing louder. He was approaching Guy's door. He knocked firmly three times.

 

“Come in,” Guy yelled. Will held the phone against his shoulder and popped his head in through the doorway.

 

“I'm going out for a bit,” he said. Guy looked at the alarm clock set by his bed. It was already eleven o'clock.

 

“All right.”

 

“Don't forget to gas up the car tomorrow. I think it's almost out.” Will turned and closed the door behind him. He talked on the phone again, his voice slowly disappearing into the distance. Guy started counting ceiling tiles again.

 

Why sheep? What happened when the sheep ran out and the people were still awake? But eventually ceiling tiles would run out, too. Did people start over when they finished?

 

The clock said it was one in the morning. Guy couldn't tell if he had been asleep. It certainly didn't feel like it. Guy stood up and paced the floor. He stared down at his feet. He thought about counting his toes, but he already knew how many there were. It felt pointless. He didn't think he could sleep while walking, either.

 

A door clicked. Guy continued pacing. He heard Will stumble down the hallway into his room. He wasn't drunk, just tired. Will had the tendency to act like a zombie if he was even the least bit exhausted. He probably didn't need to count anything to fall asleep.

 

 

 

Chapter 14

 

 

James took several deep breaths. He tried to regain his composure. He tried to stop the ache that was spreading from his heart to the rest of his body.

 

"It's okay you know," Guy told him.

 

"How can you even say that?" James asked. "It is not okay. I can't be. Or you wouldn't be..." he couldn't finish his sentence.

 

He kneeled down in front of the bed, and placed his hands on the mattress, his chin resting on top of them. Guy's face was, presumably, mere inches away, though neither of them could really see in the darkness.

 

"Please just tell me what is wrong," he whispered. "I can't even function knowing you are so upset."

 

Guy sighed. "I would rather not say it. It's ridiculous and trivial. And it would make you feel bad. I don't want that. I don't want that spark to leave your eyes."

 

"Are you completely ignorant?" James whispered harshly. "That spark is only there as long as you are happy. If you're not happy, then I certainly never could be. Don't you see that? Everything I have done in the past month has been for you. Everything."

 

"I know," Guy replied quietly. "I know it has. And that's why it's so hard to tell you...."

 

He drifted off and James sighed angrily. "I don't care how painful it is. I want to know Guy. I have to know. Just..." he drifted off for a moment, gathering his composure to speak in a softer tone. "Just please tell me. Tell me so I can fix it. Tell me so I will never do it again. Tell me so I can leave. Whatever the outcome has to be, just tell me what is wrong."

 

For a while Guy didn't say anything. Eventually he shifted so that he was lying on his back, his hand behind his head.

 

"I hate this city." He paused, allowing the words to sink in. "No, that's only part of it," he added after some thought. "I don't just hate this city. I hate all cities. They are loud and crowded and yet even with so many people bustling around they feel like the loneliest places on Earth."

 

He rolled over again to face James, his head no more than a couple of inches from James'. James couldn't really see, but he could tell because he could hear Guy's breath in his ears and feel the warmth of it on his face as he continued to speak.

 

"I was just lying here, and all of a sudden everything came crashing down on me. I had put up such a good effort to control my thoughts and keep my emotions I check. But for some reason...I just...couldn't do it anymore. I'm sorry. I know how much this means to you. I didn't want to hurt you. I tried so hard..."

 

His voice cracked a little and he took a deep breath to try and calm down. "I just..I wanted to show you I appreciated what you were doing. I thought humoring you might do that. But I'm sorry, I can't."

 

He stopped talking after that and even though he heard nothing, James got the sense that Guy was crying again. He stood up and brought his hands to Guy's face. He had been right. He took Guy's head in his hands and lifted it up just a bit. Guy sat up, trying to turn his head away. But James wouldn't let him.

 

"No," he said. "Don't try and hide it again. I don't want you to." Guy pushed James' hands away. But he didn't turn his head again.

 

"You were right. This hurts me. It hurts me a lot. But it only hurts so badly because I know I was wrong. I shouldn't have pushed you to come here. I thought it would be the best thing for you, but I was wrong. Deep down, I knew I was. But I....I just had to do something. I couldn't just sit back and watch you suffer. But I guess you are still suffering, maybe even more than before. And I am sincerely sorry for that."

 

"Thank you," Guy said, his voice quivering. "Thank you for caring enough to try and do something to help. No one else would have done that for me."

 

James laughed in a bitter way. "Well I wouldn't be thanking me because clearly I fucked this up pretty badly."

 

"At least you care about me," Guy said quietly. "Nobody else really does. I've never been a social butterfly. But I had some friends, and I have some family. None of them ever attempted to help me out at all." He sighed. "I've been going downhill for a while now. Ever since-"

 

"I know," James interrupted. "I know." He sat on the edge of the bed. "Don't feel bad okay? I am glad you told me how you feel. And I will have you know that I will always care about you, even if no one else does." He spoke with a certain conviction that made Guy curious.

 

"Hey....what are you planning?" Guy asked suspiciously. James was already back in his own bed.

 

"Don't worry about it," James told him.

 

"What a stupid thing to say," Guy mumbled to himself. Of course he was going to worry. He worried about James every moment he was conscious, and probably when he was asleep too. "Or at least explain why you left so quickly."

 

"Well, I have to sleep eventually."

 

Guy mustered up all the boldness he could manage. "But it is kind of lonely over here, without you."

 

James felt his throat tighten with love for the man across the room. He got out of the bed again. He stood above Guy. "Okay. From now we do things your way," he whispered. Guy smiled, though he did not yet know the full meaning behind the statement. Quietly James walked around to the other side of the bed and climbed into it, curling up next to Guy. "Is this alright with you?"

 

Guy turned so that he was facing James. Their knees touched. Their faces were a mere hair's width apart. He brought one hand to James' face and stroked it gently. "This is more than alright with me."

 

They fell asleep to the rhythmic sound of the other's breathing.

 

 

Lost

or

Incomplete

Chapter Two

 

The auto shop was right next to Chris's house. He owned both of them, so it made sense. It seemed like Guy always pulled up as soon as Chris stepped outside. Even when the shop opened later in the morning.

 

Guy got out of his car. He looked over at where Chris was standing, talking to his wife. He started to walk towards the shop.

 

“Well, if it isn't my spacey worker,” Chris said as he walked through the small parking lot to the side of the building. Guy looked up at him. “Sleep well, Guy?”

 

“Yeah.” Guy had gotten a full five hours of sleep. That was more than most nights, even some nights combined.

 

“Good. And it's Friday, right? Even better.” Chris gave a little wink. “Friday's definitely my favorite day of the week.”

 

Together, he and Chris walked into the shop. They were the first ones there. Within the next five minutes, two of the other men showed up.

 

Guy was working on a car. It was his job. He didn't particularly enjoy getting dirty and greasy every day, but it paid well enough. And mechanics was the one thing he really understood. Some people were into music or film or literature. They used those things to help them cope. No one can deal with the world alone. The world is far too big a place.

 

Music and film and literature only ever made things worse for Guy. They confused him even more, made him comprehend even less. He couldn't connect with them. He couldn't interpret his own meanings.

 

Mechanics was a very straightforward subject. It was relatively simple. There was usually only one way to fix a problem. Everything was there. There weren't any hidden meanings in the cars and their designs. It all made perfect sense to Guy.

 

And even when a certain car was more challenging to fix, such as the one he was currently working on, it was still easier than anything else Guy had ever done. Sometimes he didn't even have to think while he was working.

 

Guy decided that the wrench he was using wasn't going to cut it anymore. He needed a different tool. He slid out from underneath the car and grabbed his toolbox. He walked over to the nearest work bench.

 

He laid the tools out on the table. He knew which one he wanted, he just didn't know where it was. In fact, it seemed to be missing. There was a chance that someone else had borrowed it and had yet to put it back.

 

He looked around the shop. One of his coworkers, Paul, was doing something with the engine of another car. Maybe he had taken it. Guy went back to his tools. He kept looking even if it was probably gone.

 

It was getting late. The shop wouldn't be open for much longer, an hour or two at most. By the time he found the tool he needed, he might not have been able to use it anyway. He thought about asking Paul if he knew where it was. Suddenly as his eyes ran over the tools before him, Guy could hear low voices conversing nearby. He tuned his ears and listened carefully. One of the voices belonged to Chris.

 

“It's all finished now,” Chris was saying. “Well, it's been finished for a few hours, but, you know...”

 

“I hope you didn't screw anything up,” another male voice playfully replied. “Otherwise, I'll make sure you don't receive proper payment.”

 

“Oh, that's not very nice.” Guy lifted his eyes. He could see Chris and this other man standing behind one of the giant toolboxes. There was almost no space in between their bodies. “And anyway, I made sure that it's perfect. Triple-checked, even.”

 

The other man smiled. “Then I guess you'll be fully rewarded, huh?”

 

“Ooh, I can hardly wait,” Chris breathed. He moved impossibly closer to the other man. “What do you say we go for a drive? Where are your keys?”

 

“They're in my pocket.” Chris's hand slid into the front pocket of the man's jeans. He drew in a sharp breath. “Other pocket,” he said.

 

“Oops,” Chris said with a laugh. He didn't remove his hand, but a few moments later the keys appeared in his other hand. The other man closed in eyes and took another deep breath. Chris leaned forward, and Guy saw his tongue flash, dancing across the top row of the man's teeth. “Come on, let's go,” he said.

 

He withdrew his hand and gave the man his keys back. Then he walked around, and both he and the man came out from behind the toolbox. Guy couldn't see them anymore.

 

“Hey, Paul,” Chris yelled across the shop, “if Liz comes 'round, tell her I went out for a bit.”

 

“Sure thing, boss,” Paul yelled back. Guy looked down at his tools. His cheeks felt hot. He had stumbled upon something he neither should or wanted to see. He felt weighed down by the new knowledge. The only solution seemed to be going back to work. He wasn't sure he could get the image out of his head.

 

The tool he had been looking for was on the floor, resting by his feet. He picked it up and stared into space. The other man looked familiar. He had been around before.

 

Then Guy remembered. He was surprised he had even forgotten. For the past few months, the man was in the shop every week. It was definitely suspicious now that he thought about it. He hadn't thought about it before. But that man was there every week, and Chris was the only one who ever worked on his car.

 

His name was Jonny. Guy distinctly recalled one day looking at the list of cars that needed to be worked on. Chris had snapped a little and demanded that no one take that car. He wasn't aggressive about it. But he was definitely possessive. The reason was apparent now.

 

 

 

Chapter 15

 

 

The minute Guy awoke he opened his eyes, expecting to see James' form beside him. But he was in the bed alone. He sat up and squinted as bright morning sunlight entered his vision. And then James was magically standing before him.

 

"Good morning," he said with a wide grin.

 

Guy frowned. Something was going on, and he wanted to know what it was. "What time is it?"

 

James shrugged. "About ten or so."

 

"In the morning!?"

 

James chuckled at the ridiculousness of the question. "Yes, in the morning. Are you alright?" he asked playfully shoving him.

 

"Yes, I am fine," he grouched. "Are you alright? Why didn't you wake me up? I can't even remember the last time I woke after the sunrise."

 

"See? That's why. I thought you needed the extra rest. And besides," he added lovingly, "you look so lovely when you are asleep."

 

Guy looked at him carefully for a long time. "That's not the real reason is it?"

 

"Well...there is something else," James admitted. "But it's a surprise. So I had to do it without you."

 

"Do what?"

 

"I can't tell you. Not yet."

 

"Screw you," Guy retorted, but a small smile played at his lips. "Sit down," he told him, and grabbed his hand.

 

James sat beside him. "I am actually a bit nervous about this," he confessed. "What if you don't like this plan either?"

 

Guy arched one eyebrow. "A plan? Interesting."

 

James frowned and nervously fingered his curls. "Maybe I'll just call the whole thing off."

 

He started to get up, but Guy stopped him. "No...it's okay. As long as it doesn't involve any cities."

 

James shook his head. "No, of course not. It's...I really thought about this one."

 

Guy moved in a bit closer to James. "I have a secret to tell you," he whispered. "Not everything about this trip was bad."

 

Now it was James' turn to raise an eyebrow. "Oh?"

 

"It's true," Guy confirmed. "I really didn't want to stay at that farm. I just didn't know what else to do. I'm glad someone finally convinced me to leave. And I'm especially glad that it was you."

 

"You don't know how happy that makes me."

 

Guy looked into James' eyes for the first time since they left the farm. "You don't know how happy you make me."

 

James leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. "I do now...thank you," he whispered.

 

"I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner. But I realized it last night. Looking at you next to me...it was like being reborn. Something washed over me and cleared away all of the dirty past that has been a part of me for so long."

 

"It's okay," James told him. "Everyone moves at their own pace. You're not as quick to take immediate action as some people are." He moved so that they were huddled up next to each other. "And I like that about you. I mean, look where immediate action got us? A smelly city, and a miserable feeling in your case."

 

His eyes roved around the room and he sighed. "You know, I never much enjoyed cities either. They're obnoxious. I can never get any peace to think." He fixed his dark eyes back on Guy. "And all that noise and chaos would keep me from being able to really appreciate you. It's happened before, with others."

 

Guy's face fell. "So I'm not your first love then?" he asked sadly.

 

James' eyes widened. "Well...no...but...it's...well they...I never felt the same about any of them as I feel about you! I-" He stopped short as he noted a change in Guy's expression. He was smiling. No, grinning. James frowned. "What?" he asked suspiciously.

 

Guy laughed. A good, hearty laugh which James had never heard before. "I was only kidding," he said, the smile widening into a broad grin.

 

"You ass," James said, giving him the finger.

 

"Bite me," Guy said with a wink.

 

James just stuck his tongue out at him. Guy stared at him. James raised an eyebrow again. "What are you thinking?" he questioned.

 

Guy smirked, but his eyes still held the stare. "But I thought you always knew what I was thinking. My eyes give me away, right?"

 

"Not this time," James told him. he frowned, deep in thought. "This time the tint of your eyes is indecipherable." He gave Guy a more scrutinizing glance. "I've never seen that particular shade before."

 

Guy crossed his arms. "I would guess not," he told James. "I am normally such a strong-willed person. I don't think twice about what I do, and no one can change my mind. But right now, half my brain has a different view than the other."

 

"What do you mean?" James asked, a confused expression on his face.

 

"I mean....I am trying to decide what to do about you right now. "

 

James laughed. "You mean like whether you should stab me or strangle me?"

 

"No. More like whether I should jump you right now or leave the room and try to preserve some of my sanity." He frowned and somehow managed to stare at James even more intently than before. "But the trouble is, that is really all up to you."

 

"It's all up to me?" James asked, feigning surprise. He stuck his tongue out again. 'I don't know if I'm ready to take the next step Guy."

 

Guy grabbed James' shoulders. "Well I know I am. And I no longer value your opinion. That tongue of yours will taunt me no longer." Then he kissed James with more passion than even he knew he had.

 

For a split second, Guy felt a twinge of worry. Maybe James really didn't want this. He could certainly understand why not. But he had a much harder time understanding why. Guy often wondered what James saw in him. He was just the gruff and moody farmer. And just because he was having a brief relapse in his unattractive personality didn't mean James would want him any more than usual.

 

And yet, while Guy considered the odds to be highly against him, in the next moment James had grabbed his waist and pulled him closer. They kissed until they both felt dizzy and were forced to take a break.

 

James stroked Guy's chest. "Why do you look so surprised?"

 

"I didn't imagine you'd actually..." he drifted off, still trying to catch his breath, and feeling generally amazed by the entire situation.

 

"You didn't imagine I'd want you?" James said for him. Guy nodded sheepishly.

 

"That's ridiculous." He grabbed Guy by the shoulders him and pulled him into his lap, cradling his head in his hands. "Can't you see?" he whispered, "I've wanted you ever since I first saw you. Obviously more than you knew. I'm surprised. I didn't think I was doing such a great job at hiding it."

 

"It's possible I just couldn't fathom it in my own head," Guy admitted. "I put on this act, where I'm self-assured, and in part it's true. I do know what I want and when I believe in something I think I'm right. But just because I know what I want, doesn't mean I think I will get it. Honestly James, for a while now I have been thinking there must be something terribly wrong with me. Ever since she left."

 

"No," James responded with conviction. "Don't think that anymore Guy. There is nothing wrong with you. I love everything about you and I want you just the way you are."

 

"Then have me, please," he replied, looking up at James with large, innocent looking eyes.

 

"You don't need to beg," James told him. "I am more than willing." Then he leaned down and kissed Guy again, all his intentions made known through his lips, and all of Guy's willingness to oblige made through his own.

 

 

Lost

or

Incomplete

Chapter Three

 

 

 

“Guy.”

 

Guy rolled his eyes over to see Will standing beside him. Will was always a rather intimidating person. Standing and towering over other people didn't help.

 

“Did you hear me?” he asked.

 

“Yeah,” Guy said. He was lying. It wasn't as though he would have remembered what Will told him anyway.

 

Will shot him a knowing glance, a hand resting on his hip. He sighed. “All right. I'll see you in a few hours, then.”

 

“Yeah.” Guy went back to staring at the wall. He heard Will walk away. The door opened, then almost immediately closed. Guy went back to his thoughts.

 

Hands. A man's hands. And another man's body. Guy didn't know why he was still thinking about it now, two days later. It was obvious what was going on between them. Chris was married. But it wasn't any of Guy's business. Even if Chris was having an affair, it shouldn't have mattered. It was Chris's life, not Guy's. Guy couldn't help feeling let down, though. Chris had always seemed like a good person. He was certainly a nice boss. Guy didn't know what to think anymore.

 

All day long he watched Chris go about his work. He imagined things that he never wanted to imagine. But the images just wouldn't go away. To make it worse, he and Chris were the only ones in the shop that day. The other man scheduled to work had called in sick. It wasn't such a big deal. It was a rather slow day anyway.

 

Guy did try to work every now and then. Luckily for him, the car he was fixing didn't require hard work so much as tedious work. Chris didn't seem to mind that it took Guy all day to do one simple job. He was in a rather good mood.

 

“Did you have a good weekend, Guy?” Chris asked out of nowhere. The sun was steadily going down, but the day was still far from over. But this sounded more like a chat to have in the morning, not towards the end of the day. It was just a little weird to Guy.

 

“It was good,” Guy meekly replied. Chris stared at him. He was wiping his hands off on a dark blue rag. He nodded slowly.

 

“Mine was good, too,” he said. Guy looked up at him. Chris laughed shortly. “I'm already looking forward to the next one. I guess that's just life. Live for the days you don't have to do anything at all.”

 

Guy thought for a few moments. “Sounds about right.” Chris threw his rag on top of his discarded tools. He examined his hands to make sure they were at least halfway clean. Guy stood still.

 

“I have to run to the store real quick,” Chris said. He eyes were still on his hands. “Do you think you can handle watching the shop while I'm gone?”

 

“Yes, sir.” Chris raised an eyebrow. Guy sighed. “Yes, it'll be fine... Chris.” It almost made him uncomfortable to say the name, not only because of what he had witnessed. He wasn't too keen on being so formal with people. But it seemed to please Chris. He didn't want to upset his boss.

 

“I thought so.” Chris turned around. As he walked out of the shop, he yelled over his shoulder, “I'll try to be back as soon as I can.” Then there were no more signs of his presence.

 

Guy worked in the silence. He was nearly finished. Another hour of work and he should be done. He still had trouble focusing. He always had trouble focusing, though. His mind became more blank as it had been before. And then she came along.

 

“Excuse me,” a soft voice called into the shop. Guy almost didn't hear it at first. But he did, and it sounded like nothing he had ever heard. He looked up to where the door was.

 

A woman was standing in the doorway. She had dark curly hair down past her shoulders. Her eyes were big, brown to match her hair. She wasn't exactly skinny. She seemed to be rather curvy. Guy knew who she was. He had never seen her this close before. He thought she looked beautiful.

 

“Yes?” he croaked. He cringed a little; it hadn't sounded as polite as he would have liked. Liz took a cautious step forward and looked around.

 

“Is Chris around here somewhere?” she asked. Guy stared at her for a few seconds. She continued to search for her husband.

 

“He went to the store,” Guy answered. Liz turned to him. “But he should be back soon.”

 

“Oh.” The disappointment in her voice was heartbreaking. It brought back all the pictures Guy thought had faded away. He actually felt a little angry. Liz fiddled with her hands. “Well, when he gets back, do you think you could let him know that dinner is ready?”

 

“Of course.” Liz smiled kindly at him.

 

“Thank you,” she softly said. She turned to leave. Guy didn't want that. He acted without thinking.

 

“I'm Guy,” he nearly shouted. Then as she looked back to him, he quietly added, “by the way.”

 

“Thank you, Guy,” she said, flashing another smile. It was radiant. He nodded and went back to work. Liz left the shop.

 

Guy fulfilled his promise upon Chris's return. Chris thanked him as well. Guy watched as Chris walked out again. He felt a little sick. There Chris was, walking home to his beautiful wife, and yet it didn't seem to be enough for him. All Guy had to look forward to was Will's incessant nagging. Not that Will didn't have a reason. It just became old after a while.

 

But Guy told himself again that it wasn't his business. He tried to go back to his work. If he and Chris had actually been friends, then maybe it would have been a different story. Chris might have thought he and Guy were friends. Guy didn't think of him as anything more than an employer.

 

He looked back at the doorway where Liz had been not long ago. Pushing his thoughts away hadn't worked in the slightest. He wondered what the hell was wrong with Chris.

 

 

 

Chapter 16

 

 

"Now what's this surprise? I think I have a right to know." Guy laid next to James and turned to look at him for probably the thousandth time in the past few hours. His eyes were immediately met with a pair of glowing green ones.

 

"It's a surprise. No one has the right to know, except me of course."

 

"And what makes you so special?"

 

James grinned smugly. "You tell me."

 

Guy laughed a little. "I wouldn't even know where to begin," he said softly. His eyes wandered up and down the bed, taking in James' form. Most of it was now covered by thin white sheets, but that somehow seemed to emphasize his best features even more. Guy sighed to himself. There were so many, he knew he could never choose just one to describe.

 

James took the sigh to mean something different entirely. "Don't worry Guy, you'll find out what it is soon enough."

 

Guy just rolled his eyes and decided to play along with James' apparent ignorance. He winked at him. "Aww, come on. Don't you think I've earned the right to know?"

 

Subsequently James let out a sigh of his own, for much the same reasons as Guy had. he reached out to ruffle Guy's already unkempt hair. "Fine. I suppose now is as good a time as any."

 

He got out of bed and began to dress himself. Guy watched him. He felt guilty doing so, despite all they had been through. But he couldn't help himself. It was a precious opportunity that couldn't be wasted.

 

James turned around and met his gaze. Guy blushed. James smiled slyly. "Okay....your turn," he said. he climbed back into the bed and laid his head against Guy's naked chest, looking up at him as sweetly as he knew how.

"You're funny when you make that shocked face of yours." He turned his head to bury his face in Guy's chest. "I don't put on free shows you know," he joked. "If you get to watch me, I get to watch you. It's a fair tradeoff. Please?" He grazed Guy with one finger, drawing a path down his chest.

 

Guy scowled down at him, though he could never seriously be angry with James. "Fine," he said. "But I'll have to kindly ask you to get off me first."

 

James breathed in deeply. "On second thought, I like you better without any clothes on."

 

Guy rolled his eyes and pushed James' head away so he could get up. He tried to do so as quickly as possible, knowing that James would be watching him too. He kept on thinking that James would finally see that he was nothing special, and that scared him. Because he could feel the attachment he had to James growing stronger every day. And after this day, Guy didn't think he would have the strength to handle it if James ever did leave him.

 

"What's the rush? I promise you, the surprise isn't going anywhere."

 

Guy sighed with frustration. "James, I haven't even thought about that. I was only joking around before. Do you really think..." He sighed again, and sat down on the bed. "Do you honestly believe that mind has housed thoughts of anything but you in these past few hours?"

 

"Then why all that sighing?"

 

"Because I keep thinking about how much I need you now, and how little I would be able to handle myself if you were to leave me."

 

"I would never leave you," James said seriously, a bright flash of color lighting up his eyes.

 

"You will once you realize how dull I am," he quietly replied.

 

"You're being ridiculous Guy. Must I really explain how devoted I am to you?" He sat upright, an idea in his eyes. He grabbed Guy's hand and pulled him off the bed. "You know what? I don't need to explain. I can just show you."

 

- - - - - - - -

 

"Where are we going?" Guy asked. "And does it really need to involve more driving?

 

"It does if you want to get there before dark." He laid his hand on Guy's as a gesture of encouragement. "I know you hate cars. But at the end of this trip lies your little surprise. And hopefully it will emphasize just how much you mean to me."

 

"Okay," Guy said, because he didn't know what else to say. He wanted to take James' word for it, but his low self-esteem made that a terribly difficult thing to do. And his stubbornness made it seem impossible that James wouldn't get bored of him at some point. He had long ago convinced himself that he was boring and worthless. But he didn't want to upset James with these thoughts, so he kept silent.

 

To Guy's relief, they drove until they were well out of the city. Eventually all that could be seen was an occasional picket or barbed wire fence marking bounders between property which surely belonged to various farmers, and possible a house or a barn the size of a dot off in the distance.

 

Guy could feel a sense of inner calm returning to him as they continued to drive through the countryside. He had no idea what James was up to, but whatever it was, he knew he would be happy with it. As long as he and James were together and there wasn't a city building in sight, he would be content.

 

But as he thought of everything that had happened so far that day, he realized that even in a city he could learn to be happy as long as James was by his side. And he didn't think he could ever learn to be happy even in the most wide open stretch of land if James was not right there with him. The urge to speak suddenly filled him.

 

"James, I hope you know that I could be happy anywhere that you are. Even a city. And I didn't mean to make such a big deal out of that before. I was just scared that I'd be all the way out in the city, and you'd leave me. And then I'd just....I'd lose it or something."

 

"Don't even mention that anymore Guy. It's all in the past now." He turned abruptly onto a dirt road that Guy hadn't even noticed was there. "You don't have to think about cities ever again, because you will be here."

 

He drove up a small hill, then stopped the car. Guy peered over the hill and subsequently forgot how to breathe. He gasped and tears filled his eyes.

 

"I hope you can find it in your heart to believe me now when I tell you of my devotion to you," James told him.

 

 

a special story for a special birthday lady

TogetherAgain

a story written by Brooke and Katie, with love (and some difficulty... perhaps you'll see why :P)

 

um... NSFW and don't read this if you're under 18 or whatever (hahahha, says the 17-year-old who wrote it, along with a 16-year-old :rolleyes::P)

 

 

 

 

The train was quiet. The night was dark. The moon was absent from the starry sky. Only one man was awake. His passionate blue eyes were staring out the window at the passing scenery.

 

There were only twenty minutes left. Then he would finally be home. It had been a long year, but the past twelve hours spent on the train seemed to pass by even more slowly.

 

With nothing better to do, he thought about what it would be like once he could see Jonny's face again. He had carried a picture around with him while he was away, but it didn't do the real thing justice. And he really missed hearing Jonny's voice.

 

Twenty minutes left on the train, then he would have to take a cab to get back to his apartment. It would be another ten minutes, hopefully. Half an hour. He wondered if Jonny would even be awake. Maybe he would walk into the apartment and Jonny would be waiting for him. That would be nice, though he wasn't expecting it. It had to be at least one in the morning by now.

 

He took out the picture, whose corners had been slightly bent during its stay in the front pocket of his shirt. Yes, he wore shirts with pockets. He liked them, and that was all that mattered. He didn't care what anyone else thought.

 

It was a picture that had been taken the day before he left. He had taken it himself, while Jonny wasn't actually looking, because he wanted a candid picture of Jonny. That was when he loved him the best, when Jonny wasn't putting on a show for anyone. In fact, he was almost sure that Jonny still didn't know it had been taken.

 

He must have lost himself staring at the picture, because the next thing he knew the train was stopped and people were shuffling around him. He took a deep, joyous breath as he stashed the picture away and stood up to gather his bags. Ten minutes.

 

As he stepped off the train, a fear slowly crept its way inside his bones. What if something had changed? What if nothing was the same as it was when he left it? What if he had changed, and for the worse? What if he returned home, and Jonny no longer loved him?

 

He swallowed his anxiety and walked out of the train station. There was no way that Jonny couldn't love him- right? He didn't feel any different, anyway. Walking down the sidewalk past all the storefronts he had known for years, it seemed like it was only yesterday that he was here last. Things were still the same.

 

He hailed a cab. He rambled off the address like it was nothing. It felt good to be home. Nearly home. The driver was talking to him, asking a bunch of questions. He answered them absentmindedly as he looked out onto the town he had dearly missed.

 

When they came to the final street, he felt like his heart was going to leap out of his chest. He was so excited that he nearly left his possessions behind as he stepped out of the car. Luckily he remembered at the last second, and made sure to grab them before the car even stopped so that he definitely would not forget. He lugged the bags up two flights of stairs to the top floor of the apartment building. It wasn't a hassle; the bags weren't too heavy to begin with, and the adrenaline pumping through his veins gave him plenty of strength anyway.

 

He stopped at the door to the apartment. He paused for a moment and soaked in the brilliance of being back. Then he took out his keys and was just about to locate the correct one when he thought he heard a noise. He frantically looked around, but saw nothing. He quickly unlocked the door and walked inside.

 

He set his bags down, light on and door closed behind him, and he started to take his coat off when suddenly he was pushed up against the door. He nearly had a heart attack, and seeing the pale green eyes trying to pierce his soul did nothing to calm him down. But he felt so much better.

 

“I missed you so much,” he breathed, and he barely finished his sentence before Jonny kissed him furiously. His arms were pinned to the wall by Jonny's hands, but were mobile from his elbows down. He slid his hands under the hem of Jonny's shirt and upwards; at the same moment, Jonny leaned into him, pressed his body harder against the door.

 

Jonny's mouth left his and traveled down to his collarbone. While he enjoyed the feel of Jonny's lips- and, occasionally, his teeth- along the edge of his chest, his hands wandered to Jonny's back. He tried to lift up the other man's shirt and bring it over his head, but he ran into some trouble when the shirt approached Jonny's arms.

 

Jonny paused, laughing lightly. “Oh, Chris, always with the shirts,” he quietly said.

 

He took a tiny step backwards so Chris could remove the shirt. He did so quickly, and once the fabric was discarded, tossed carelessly halfway across the room, Jonny went back to kissing the small bit where Chris's neck met his shoulder.

 

Jonny's hands were no longer keeping Chris bound to the door; instead, one was resting limply on his chest, and the other was making its way into the small space in between his thighs. Even through the denim of his jeans the touch made him quiver. He closed his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh, though he knew that this was only just the beginning.

 

Chris didn't have much time left for more sighs, as Jonny lifted his head and pressed their mouths together once again. It was less rough than before, though; Jonny's lips just barely grazed his, as Jonny found it more fitting to use his tongue. He met Jonny with an equal passion- and an equal use of tongue. Jonny's hand began to gently massage the inner part of Chris's thigh.

 

Chris took his tongue back as a moan escaped from his lips. He let his head fall back against the wood of the door, and he tightened his grip on Jonny's shoulders. Then, after what felt like too short of a time, Jonny pulled his hand back. Chris was suddenly very aware of how tight his pants were, particularly in the fly area, where both of Jonny's hands were currently hard at work undoing the stubborn button that even had Chris stumped sometimes (which was awful whenever his bladder was overfilled and he didn't have a lot of time left).

 

Jonny finally got it, and once the zipper was unzipped he jerked the pants down, letting the fabric gather somewhere around Chris's knees. Jonny took one last glimpse at Chris- eyes closed, head tossed back, chest heaving- before he dropped to his own knees. Chris thought it was becoming impossibly hot in the apartment, when he realized that he was still wearing his jacket. He didn't feel like he had enough control now to do anything about it.

 

Jonny had raised a bit of Chris's shirt in the front, up to Chris's belly button, and was now touching his lips to the area around the trail of hair that led from the middle of Chris's abdomen down. Meanwhile, his hand had gone back, the tips of his fingers underneath the bottom of Chris's slightly loose-fitting boxers. He listened to Chris's helpless and tortured moans, still only the beginning, as his fingers caressed upwards, then back down. When he finally got tired of all the teasing, he peeled back the waistband of Chris's boxers and let them follow the same fate as his jeans.

 

Chris bit his lip to prevent himself from screaming into the really early morning as he felt Jonny's mouth come into contact with the most sensitive organ he possessed (not, as some would argue, his metaphorical heart), and his hands clamped even firmer around Jonny's shoulders. It was pain and pleasure all at once, and he suffered and loved it for what felt like years before the final release. He was definitely glad to be back.

 

Suddenly, Jonny was standing with him again, his breath hitting Chris's ear. “Welcome home,” he whispered. Chris smiled and laughed as he panted. He opened his eyes a little and pressed his lips to Jonny's ear.

 

"You sure know how to give a welcome," Chris whispered between deep breaths. He could still feel Jonny's touch on his body. It left a tingling sensation almost like a burning, but in a good way. He knew he'd never forget this night. And he didn't want Jonny to forget it either.

 

"I think," Chris murmured, finally regaining a more regular breathing pattern, "that I can top that."

 

Jonny's eyes expressed playful amusement. "Oh?" he asked, with a raise of one lovely blond eyebrow.

 

"Yes," Chris growled, excited to show Jonny just what he could do.

 

"Well," Jonny told him, pushing him up against the door again, "do you worst."

 

Chris grinned. That was all the encouragement he needed. In a sudden burst of strength, he pushed Jonny back, turning him so it was suddenly he who was against the hard wooden door instead of Chris. The breath was knocked out of Jonny, and looking into the lustful blue eyes of the man who had him pinned wasn't helping things much.

 

He managed a sly smile though. "You been working out?"

 

"Yeah," Chris said. "I've been waiting for this night for a long time. A very long time indeed...."

His voice drifted off, for his mouth was now preoccupied with kissing Jonny's skin. He began with the top of his neck, pausing briefly to nibble on his ear. Jonny sighed, and Chris smiled because he knew what Jonny liked.

 

As his lips worked their way down, now reaching the well sculpted edges of Jonny's collarbone and traveling further to his well muscled chest, he began to press harder. Harder against Jonny, and harder with his lips on Jonny's sweaty skin. "You taste amazing," he whispered, as he removed both hands from Jonny's forearms where he had had him pinned and placed them further on Jonny's hips.

 

Jonny did not respond. He was too focused on trying to breathe. In and out, in and out, he told himself. Breathe, damn it. It didn't feel as though any oxygen had made its way into his lungs during all of this, but somehow he did not pass out. He figured it was Chris's touch alone that was keeping him alive. Chris's heart beating as one with his that kept his beating strong.

 

"You're thinking," Chris said, aggressively pulling down Jonny's pants and boxers simultaneously, the sound of a button hitting the floor filling the hallway. "I can tell."

 

"So?" Jonny managed to whisper.

 

"So that won't do at all. I don't want you to think. I want you to feel." And with those final words he gripped Jonny tightly with his left hand, and used his right to grab Jonny between the legs, still kissing his abdomen with lustful abandon.

 

Jonny let out a yelp. He never could predict the exact moment when Chris would touch him there. Chris, on the other hand, had this all planned out. He caressed Jonny's delicate parts with a gentle kind of force, making sure he would remember the tingling sensation in his fingertips as much as Jonny would remember the tingling between his thighs.

 

His lips began to quiver at the hair of Jonny's lower abdomen and he could no longer resist the rising temptation to bring them down further. Stealthily he brought his lips down in between Jonny's legs, placing his right hand where his lips had once been. He had already been bending down, but this time he full-on kneeled before Jonny.

 

But he was still in control, and Jonny knew that. He shivered as Chris's lips kissed the delicate skin and moaned with uncapped pleasure as Chris opened his mouth wide to accommodate all of Jonny's most tender skin at once. Chris sucked for a while, but he still had other things in mind.

 

He stood up suddenly and removed his hands from Jonny's skin. "Turn around," he ordered. His head filled with nothing but the thoughts of how Chris felt, Jonny obeyed immediately. He closed his eyes and prepared for what was to come. But nothing could have prepared him for the sheer gratification he felt as Chris entered him from behind. There was pain at first, but Chris found his rhythm quickly and soon it was nothing but pleasure.

 

Jonny moaned and made such sounds that he didn't really realize he was making. They got progressively louder as Chris grew more bold, and right as he reached the climax Jonny was screaming Chris's name amongst other unintelligible things. When Chris finally made his exit they were both dripping with sweat and giddy with delight.

 

Jonny turned around, resting his hands on his knees and trying to get his bearings, or at least breathe once or twice. "How...was that?" Chris asked, panting.

 

Jonny looked into his eyes, so blue and so proud of what he had done. "That was perfection," he whispered, then threw his arms around him, knocking them both to the ground. They kissed, but this time it wasn't a lustful kiss, it was a loving kiss."I really did miss you," Chris told him. "If you couldn't tell."

 

"Well if I had my doubts before I certainly don't now," Jonny assured him. "You are amazing Chris. Completely amazing. Everything about you is like speeding down a highway at hundred miles per hour surrounded by the most beautiful landscape you've ever seen. It just takes your breath away."

 

"I may have taken your breath Jonny, but you have stolen my heart."

 

Jonny laughed. "You're such a hopeless romantic Chris," he said, caressing his cheek lovingly.

 

"No," Chris corrected, “I was a hopeless romantic. But once you came along, I was a hopeful romantic."

 

They both laughed at that, their sweaty stomachs moving up and down in perfect rhythm. Chris gazed up at Jonny and gently ran his fingers down his chest. "We should get cleaned up," he said.

 

"Yeah..." Jonny said, staring back at him. He stood up in a daze, allowing Chris to stand as well.

 

"I think I'll take a shower now," Chris said slowly.

 

"Okay," Jonny whispered.

 

"I think I'll take a shower with you," Chris clarified.

 

"No, it's alright. I'll just-"

 

"Jonny," Chris said, "I have been taking showers alone for a year now. And I'm not about to take another one that way."

 

"I'm glad," Jonny replied. "Because the thought of spending any time without you right now is something I can hardly even fathom."

 

Chris grabbed Jonny's hand and led him into the bathroom where they would conclude the night that neither of them would ever forget. All the while, Chris and Jonny both felt the external and internal warmth of their touching hands. The external warmth of skin on skin as well as the internal warmth that came from the knowledge that they were finally together again.

 

 

 

vudiahvjkdlajfdacsbea time to post some stories now that the board is backkkk :wacky:

 

Lost

or

Incomplete

Chapter Four

 

The door opened. The sound didn't hinder Guy in the least. As it was every Friday, Paul was in the shop as well. It was safe to assume that Paul was the one using the door. Or maybe Chris was back from his escapades. Either way, Guy didn't find it important.

 

Until, of course, the only slightly familiar feminine voice spoke to him. “Hello.” She sounded timid. Guy jumped, as he hadn't been expecting her. He let his tool-carrying hand fall to his side as he turned to her. His blood started to tingle as his heart rapidly pumped it through his body. “Oh, I'm sorry to bother you,” she quickly said, placing a hand over her chest.

 

“Chris isn't here right now,” he told her. She nodded slowly.

 

“I know.” She began to walk around the side of the car, closer to Guy. She stopped a few feet away from him. Her hand ran along the hood of the car. “I was just a bit lonely in the house. I was... was going to ask if you wouldn't mind... if I just sit here and watch you for a while. I won't say anything or be an annoyance, I promise. I was just lonely.”

 

“That's fine,” Guy quietly said, almost just breathing out the words. Liz turned her deep brown eyes and locked them with his. “I can't... This stuff isn't very entertaining. You might get bored.”

 

“The way I see it,” Liz began, her voice loud, the shyness completely gone as she walked over to the nearest chair and plopped herself down, “bored is better than lonely. Right?”

 

Guy stared at her. He didn't tell her that to him, they were the same thing. He didn't say that all he had ever wanted was someone to love. He didn't describe his sleepless nights spent dreaming of an occupied bed and a full heart. He just nodded and went back to work.

 

But he was very aware of her eyes on him thereafter. He could see her face though his gaze was on the engine before him. He could see in his mind the smile that might have lingered on her lips. Why did she smile? With everything the way it was, how could she be happy?

 

Guy reasoned that it must be because she didn't know. Ignorance is bliss. If she knew, then there was no way for her to be happy. It didn't seem possible. Then he wondered why she would smile now, at a time like this. And why had she chosen to come watch him work? Was she never lonely any other day? She hadn't come to see Chris.

 

He was so engrossed in these ceaseless questions that he nearly forgot what he was doing. He shook his head and tried to focus. Despite knowing it wouldn't work, he tried to forget that Liz was there. Or he tried to think that she had left while he wasn't looking. It only made him more mindful of her presence.

 

The door opened again. Liz was still behind him, though she was no longer sitting. Guy stood up straight and watched as his boss greeted his wife.

 

“Hey, honey,” Chris said, taking Liz into his arms and kissing her forehead. Guy felt sick. “What are you doing out here?”

 

“I just wanted to get out of the house for a bit,” she replied. “I did so much cleaning yesterday that I had nothing to do today. Not one single thing. So I came out here for some company.” She turned and gestured to Guy. “I've just been watching Guy fix that car. He seems to be a pretty good mechanic.”

 

“One of the best,” Chris added, looking straight at Guy. There was something in his eyes that was different. It was almost like he knew what Guy was thinking. He knew that Guy was aware of more about his life than he should have been. Guy thought he might have been staring back at Chris in such a manner that he gave himself away. Guy averted his eyes.

 

“Oh, well, I don't really know much about cars, but, you know, he's...” Liz leaned forward a little, lowering her voice, “he's a lot better than those other guys you hired. Sometimes I think they don't know much about cars either. Or maybe that I actually know more than they do.”

 

“You wanna work here, then?” Chris asked with a bit of a laugh. Liz giggled and stood up on her toes so she could reach Chris's lips.

 

“No, I think I'll leave it to you.” She patted his chest twice and she started to head off in the direction of the door. Guy felt sad to see her leave. Chris walked over to where Guy stood.

 

“Maybe I should promote you,” he said. “If I had anything to promote you to, that is. Sous-mechanic? Does that even exist?”

 

“It could exist if you wanted it to,” Guy replied. “You are the boss.” Chris laughed and nodded.

 

“It doesn't roll off the tongue, though. I think it should be something that rolls off the tongue...” Chris was silent for a few moments, then he shrugged. “Well, I'll think of something. Oh, wait, this means I have to pay you more, doesn't it?”

 

“You don't have to pay me more,” Guy told him. He already had more money than he felt he needed.

 

“All right then,” Chris said with a smile. He started to step away. “You get back to being the best now, I'll just be over here thinking of a title for you.”

 

“I thought you said I was only one of the best, sir,” Guy stated.

 

“So I did. But I also told you not to call me sir.” Chris shook his head. “There's always that one thing that ruins perfection, huh?” He laughed shortly, and suddenly Guy felt uncomfortable. He had taken Chris's words into a different context, and he didn't find it very suitable.

 

Guy did as he was told with no fuss. He went back to working on the car, which was nearly finished anyway. Except this time he was trying to pretend that Liz was still watching him.

 

^ Here here!

Chapter 4

 

‘It’s incredible how the morning after a fierce storm like last night can be so beautiful’, Will thought to himself as he stood on the porch. The sun was rising over the ocean casting vibrant orange streaks across the water.

 

Upstairs Peaches was admiring not the morning sunrise, but the man that stood watching it, with just a pair of jeans that hung low and showed of his tan body. He had broad shoulders and a toned stomach. He was no model, but he had rugged looks that could kill. He was standing so strong and steady, never wavering. Peaches placed her hand on the window frame and traced his outline.

 

“He is even better up close you know.”

 

Peaches jumped and turned around to see a girl who was a carbon female copy of Will standing in the doorway holding some clothes in her arms.

 

“Sorry? I uh, who are you?” Peaches asked.

 

“I’m Savannah, Will’s sister. He said you were about my size and asked me to let you borrow some of my clothes, so here I am.” Savannah chimed.

 

Peaches glanced down at her clothes, she was still wearing her wetsuit, but it was torn, stained and had an awful smell rising from it. Blushing Peaches looked back up at Savannah and half smiled half grimaced. “Yeah.. Thanks. I look like such a mess.”

 

“You look like you just had a battle with the ocean, it’s alright. You just need a warm shower and then you will feel better. When your done Will and I will have breakfast ready and you can join us.”

 

Peaches nodded her head and graciously took the clothes from Savannah.

 

“I’m Peaches by the way.”

“Peaches? That’s really your name?”

“No, but that’s the name that Will gave me last night.”

“Oh.. Okay, well that’s new.” “By the way, you’re the first to have a nickname.” Savannah said with a wink and walked off.

 

Peaches soaked in the last phrase that Savannah had said as she took a shower. ‘I’m the first to have a nickname? I don’t even know what my real name is let alone, what does that girl mean?’

 

-Downstairs-

 

“So you and Peaches eh? You sly dog! You’ve only known her for about 7 hours and she already has a nickname?” Savannah said as she gave a playful punch to Will’s shoulder.

 

“Ouch, that hurt.” Will sarcastically said as he pretended to rub and care for his ‘hurt’ arm. “Well she kind of can’t remember her name, so I gave her a name.

 

“My my dear willy, you sure know how to pick them.” Savannah said with a wink.

 

“Oh shut it, she’s just.. she’s.. she’s the one.”

 

“The one? How can you know? It’s only been a few hours, you don’t even know her!”

 

“That’s the thing, I don’t need to know her, I feel like I already do. She has come into my life unexpectedly and is moving the earth all around me, and I just know it. She is my everything.”

 

There was a silence in the kitchen after Will had spoken, Savannah walked over to Will’s side and stood there next to him for awhile. They stood there and watched the sun coat every surface in its warm glow and then slowly returned back to the real world.

 

“Okay. Don’t lose her.”

 

“I won’t. I won’t. Now let’s get this breakfast together before she comes down.”

 

 

Chapter 5

 

-: 2 Months has passed since they met:-

 

“Come on a bike ride with me!” Will pleaded

 

“How do I know if I can even ride a bike? Peaches teased

 

“Hmm, if you can’t ride a bike then I suppose you just might have to ride on my handlebars.” Will said as he tossed Peaches on his shoulders with a grin and kicked open the screen door. He casually strolled over to his bike and gently set Peaches down upon the handlebar. Peaches give Will a dirty look, crossed her arms, and put on her best pouty face.

 

Will gave her a wink and quick peck on the lips and then swung his body onto the bike and began to peddle. For first little while there was no mingling between the two, just the steady beat of will peddling and the sound of will’s breathing. The silence was broken when Will decided to stretch his fingertips and tickle Peaches backside. Sweet sounds of laughter erupted and continued for sometime.

 

“William Champion, I am going to fall off if you don’t stop!” Peaches yelled between fits of giggles.

 

“My dear Peaches, I would never let you fall off, unless..”

 

“Will! Stop tickling me to death, I’m going to pee my pants from laughing so much!”

 

Will grinned and slowly stopped the amusing torture and continued peddling. They rode the bike out of the city into the charming rolling hills of the Georgia Countryside. Soon the hills turned into tree filled forests where exhilarating colors exploded in their faces and incredible plants blossomed.

Turning the bike off the path he rode a bit into the grass and then stopped. He offered his hand to Peaches and began to lead her through the waste high swaying grass and the knot encrusted willow trees. A walking for just a while longer, Will lead Peaches into a tiny clearing where a dreamy lake sat beside and the sun shone directly into the clearing like a beacon of hope.

 

Peaches cast her eyes around the peaceful hollow taking in its beauty. Sitting in the middle of the clearing was a red-checkered blanket with a picket basket sitting on top. A warm arm wrapped it’s way around her waist and guided her forward toward the blanket. Peaches sat next to Will and leaned into his strong body. She rested her head on his chest and took in his sweet aroma that seemed to radiate from him.

 

The two of them sat together and enjoyed each other’s company and the simple meal that was inside the basket. It wasn’t the sweet gesture that Will had done that made Peaches fall for Will, it was the feeling that she had while sitting there in his arms. For the first time in a long time she felt safe.

 

While Peaches was wrapped up in her comfort, Will got up and began walking toward the small lake. Ever so casually he began to take off his shirt and discard it on the ground. A smile began to form on his lips and he proceeded to take off his shorts. Peaches looked up and laughed.

 

“Hmm you seem to have misplaced your clothes my dear Will.”

 

Have I now? Hmm perhaps if I remove these boxers I will find my clothes?”

 

“Oh I think you stand a very good chance with that.”

 

‘Is that so? Let’s see.” Will slowly and tantalizingly stripped off his boxers.

 

“Hmm I don’t see your clothes anywhere!”

 

“Really? Damn… What am I to do now?”

 

“Ha ha, you tell me?”

 

Will grinned a cocky little smile and then turned a ran into the lake, causing a great deal of water to splash everywhere including upon Peaches.

 

“WILLIAM CHAMPION! Look what your gallivanting has done! I am soaked!”

 

“Oh darn, what a shame. Hmm Perhaps you should take your clothes off and let them dry?”

 

“And what am I to do while they are drying?”

 

Will smiled casually and pretended to think. “Well I guess I can let you come swim with me.”

 

Peaches laughed. “Alright, but turn around.”

 

“Hold up, I let you see all of me, I think It’s only fair.”

 

“Uh uh, you choose to give me that little show, I choose not to, not yet at least.”

 

“Fine fine, I’m turning around.” Will playfully splashed the water around while he waited until he felt hands on his shoulders.

 

“Hey there.”

 

Will turned around and stared into the vivid green eyes that stared right back at him.

 

“Incredible.”

 

“What’s incredible?” Peaches asked.

 

“It’s incredible that you can still look so stunningly beautiful with mud on your face!”

 

“What?”

 

Will smashed a fist full of mud on her face and tried to swim away. Peaches grabbed a handful of mud from the bottom and chucked it at the back of Will’s head. Will retaliated in pushing Peaches under and soon the two were covered in mud and laughing so hard they were crying. Will looked up and saw a spark in her eyes, she was so full of life, so exhilarating, so dynamic. Will knew he had found her and so he let his heart take control.

 

Weaving his fingers in hers he pulled her close, he brushed his lips against hers and felt her lips part. Tenderly he bit her lip, pulling her closer each time. He reached his hands up a placed them on the sides of her face. His lips formed to hers and they moved in synch together. No fireworks were shot, no electricity felt, it was better. They felt complete, like they were missing a puzzle piece to their hearts and it was finally found and put in place. They felt the fire within each other truly light.

 

 

 

-

Lost

or

Incomplete

Chapter Five

 

He dreamed about her. He didn't mean to. He was surprised he even dreamed at all. He was surprised he even slept at all.

 

There was a room, empty save for Guy and Liz. She stood against one wall, he against the one opposite. The room was not large by any means. She was so close, and yet so unattainable. She just stared at him, smiling. He reached out to touch her.

 

The room grew. The ceiling remained at the same height, but the room stretched lengthwise, increasing the distance between Guy and Liz. His hand did not reach.

 

Liz continued to smile at him. He took a step forward. Nothing happened. Often people might have dreams where the further they walk, the farther away their desired object becomes. This wasn't like that. It was more like he was walking on a treadmill. Not one thing changed, no matter how many steps he took.

 

Then a figure appeared out of the shadows. Liz turned away from Guy. Her smile was directed at Chris now. He took her in his unfaithful arms, laying his hand on her cheek as if she was the only one for him. Guy stopped moving, and consequently the treadmill he was on brought him backwards until the image of Chris and Liz was just a blurry spot in the distance.

 

Eventually they faded completely. Guy realized then that he was awake, staring up at the ceiling that was blackened by the night. He stared until the ceiling turned white with day, and it was time for him to get ready for work.

 

Liz came out to the garage several more times in the following two weeks. Some of the times, Chris was there and she would stay by him. The rest, she talked to Guy. To, not with. Guy didn't have much to say in return. But he didn't mind listening to her speak. It made his already facile job even easier to hear her soothing voice being directed at him.

 

At first she hadn't wanted to be a bother, but Guy didn't seem to mind her presence. She spoke tentatively. Then for some reason, Guy asked her a question. He asked her why she didn't go out anywhere when she felt lonely, rather than coming to the shop. It wasn't meant to be rude, and it wasn't taken as such either. She smiled and explained to him that she just didn't feel comfortable around people most of the time. She would go grocery shopping when needed, but other than that she stayed at home.

 

It was a Friday again, and again Chris was out for an ambiguous test drive with the man called Jonny. Guy saw Liz's shoes appear out of the corner of his eye. He smiled to himself and stood up.

 

“Hey, Guy,” she said. He was a little surprised that she was waiting at the door still. She fiddled with her hands a bit, ducking her head. “You... you're pretty good with tools, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Guy said with a tiny shrug.

 

“Do you think you could help me with something? Inside the house?” she asked. She looked up at Guy. Her eyes seemed a bit frightened. “I wouldn't ask, only I think it's a bit of an emergency...”

 

“Yeah, sure,” he said. She nervously smiled and led Guy back to the house. They walked into the kitchen. Almost immediately, Liz's problem was apparent.

 

“I think I broke the sink,” Liz said, then she put her hands together and held them up to her mouth waiting for Guy's reaction. The faucet, while apparently not actually on, was spouting water out of its base. Guy walked over to get a closer look. “I know you're not a plumber or anything, but I figured that maybe you might just be able to work your magic with a wrench or something and at least make it stop for now.”

 

Guy said nothing. He examined the faucet. When he was done examining, he told Liz that he would be right back with what he needed. Liz nodded and told him she'd be waiting. Guy ran back to the garage as quickly as he could. He grabbed his tools and went back to Liz.

 

Liz had a plate of some sort in her hands that she was transporting to the kitchen table as Guy walked in. Neither acknowledged the other's existence. Liz set the plate down on the table. Guy fixed the faucet.

 

“Well, it seems to have stopped,” Guy said, standing back to admire his handiwork.

 

“Oh, thank you so much,” Liz said with a breath of relief. She put her hand on Guy's arm. He tightened his jaw a little.

 

“I would recommend getting someone to look at it, though. Or buy a new faucet.”

 

“Yes, I was planning on doing that tomorrow or something. Although, tomorrow is Saturday...” Liz paused for a while. Then she shook her head. “Anyway, thank you so, so much. I was honestly quite afraid that it wouldn't stop and it would flood the house eventually and... well, thank you for fixing it. At least for the moment.”

 

“Of course.” Guy took his chances. He turned to see Liz, whose hand was still on his arm, whose flesh was still touching his own. She was already looking at him.

 

“Would you like something to eat? Or to drink, maybe?” she asked. “I made some muffins earlier. Chris and I aren't going to eat them all by ourselves. You're welcome to stay for a while and have a chat, if you like. I can make some tea.”

 

“Tea... would be nice,” Guy managed to say. Liz smiled, then removed her hand. She pulled out a chair from the table.

 

“Here, take a seat. I'll make the tea,” she said. He sat down as Liz walked to the counter. “And please, help yourself to those muffins. I promise they don't taste horrendous.”

 

“I'm not really big on muffins, but thank you,” he replied. Liz sat down at the other side of the table. For a while they just stared at each other. Then Liz said something Guy would never have expected her to say.

 

“Chris is having an affair.”

 

 

Chapter 17

 

 

Guy didn't answer. He opened the car door and stepped out on wobbly legs. He stumbled down the hill a little ways before stopping just to stare. To stare at how much James apparently cared about him. He could hardly believe his eyes. He kept rubbing them, sure that he would clear his mind of this hallucination any time now.

 

But every time he did so, the view still remained. If anything, it got better every time. The sun was slowly sinking on the horizon. It cast rays at such an angle that seemed to enhance the charm of the place to an endless degree.

 

There was a house, and a tool shed a little ways away from it. It was a little house, but it looked like a home to Guy right away. It had a red thatched roof and a red brick chimney. The siding was pure white, despite the dust storms that frequented the area. The front door was painted a bright red. And there was a wooden porch in the front, with two chairs.

 

That quaint house sat in the middle of the largest piece of land Guy had ever seen. It was a beautiful field, and Guy could tell just by looking at it that it had the capacity to grow storing and healthy crops. He could barely make out a fence off in the distance.

 

The tears spilled out of his eyes now. He shook with the effort of trying and failing to keep them at bay. He had no words to describe his feelings. But as waves of emotion sent shivers through him, he realized that he did know of some words that could.

 

And as if on cue, James was beside him, wrapping one long arm around him and bringing him in close, almost as if he knew Guy had something to say.

 

Guy turned immediately so that their chests were nearly touching. He took a few deep breaths to try and calm down. It didn't really do much to stabilize him. But that wouldn't stop him from saying what needed to be said.

 

"I love you James," he sobbed through his tears. "I love you, I love you, and I have for a while now. I should've gotten the courage to say it when you did, but I just couldn't do it. I'm so sorry for that. But I hope it doesn't matter, and I hope you're not hurting because of it...because...I just....I love you."

 

He buried his face in James's chest and continued to sob. James hugged him tight, rubbing his back and whispering to him. "How could I be hurting?" he asked. "Every moment with you is a moment of joy for me." Guy lifted his head up. James loosened his grip and let his hands slide down to Guy's waist. "I hope you're ready to start kissing me now," he joked.

 

"If I could, I would never stop," Guy told him.

 

Their lips met, and for the first time in a long time Guy felt like he had a purpose in this world. He was no longer just a vague presence; a shadow of a man who lived just because he thought he had to. He now lived for this.

 

He knew he would open his eyes and get out of bed each morning not out of habit, but for this. So he could hear that lovely voice again. So he could look into those green eyes again. So he could feel those strong arms around him again. So he could feel these soft lips on his time and time again.

 

For the first time in their relatively short history together, James was the first to pull away. "Come on, I'll show you the inside of the house."

 

Guy was even more stunned by the house's interior. It had floors and walls of beautiful wood in a rich chestnut color. There was a small kitchen, and a small living room with a fireplace whose mantle was composed of a beautiful stone.

"It's so beautiful," Guy breathed. "How did you-"

 

"I just went to the nearest real estate agency and bought the first thing I knew you'd love."

 

"You didn't have to-"

 

"Of course I didn't have to. But I wanted to."

 

"But the money...."

 

"The money was no object. It was actually a good deal. But I would have spent every last dime I had for your sake. And that look on your face right now is how I know that it was all worth it."

 

"Thank you, thank you so much. I don't know what else I can say."

 

James squeezed his hand. "You don't need to say anything. Like I said, it's all in your face."

 

"Well it's certainly in my eyes," Guy mused. "I can't seem to stop crying now." He wiped a few tears that were still trickling down his face.

 

James smiled. "I feel privileged to be one of the few people who has ever seen your sensitive side."

 

"What are you talking about?" Guy joked. "I cry in front of everybody."

They shared a laugh and it echoed through the little home in a way that sounded beautiful to Guy.

 

"I can see us living here," he told James. "I can see it clearly."

 

"So you don't think I'll pack up and go then?" James said, a playful smile on his face.

 

"No, not anymore," Guy replied seriously. "I'll never make that mistake again."

 

"Good," James responded. "Now come on, there's still a bit more to the house."

 

He led Guy down a narrow hallway, and stopped at a door. "Look inside," he told him. "I thought this would be a good room for Malcolm to stay in."

 

"Wh-what?" Guy said, as he peered into the room.

 

"Guy, you can't seriously be surprised by this. I want to be a part of your life in every way. And Malcolm is definitely a part of that."

 

"Thank you," Guy said, lacking the emotional strength for any more words than those.

 

"Let's go see the other bedroom," James said. They continued down the hall to the last room. "Here it," James told him. "I hope you'll like it."

 

Guy stepped inside immediately. The brightly polished floors squeaked under his feet. The large window on one wall was open and let in a breeze that gently moved the white curtains back, revealing a beautiful view of the fields.

 

"I thought you might like to be able to observe your crops from here," James said.

 

"I love it," Guy said instantly. And he meant it. He could picture quiet evenings in here, making small talk. He could picture waking up here every day, with James beside him.

 

"But," James said slyly, "there is something missing in here."

 

Guy raised his eyebrows, but after looking around again realized what it was. "There's no bed."

 

"Not yet there isn't. But I figured you might to like to do that part."

 

Guy's eyes widened with the realization. "You want me to build the bed?"

 

"Only if you want to."

 

Guy walked over to James and kissed him on the cheek. "Of course I want to," he told him. "And it's going to be engraved with our initials, as a sign of my devotion to you."

 

 

Lost

or

Incomplete

Chapter Six

 

 

 

Guy didn't know what to say. So he said nothing. It quite often worked for him. He wasn't sure that Liz wanted him to say anything, anyway. She didn't look at him. Her gaze was on the table now.

 

“He thinks I don't know,” she said. “But I'm not an idiot. It's fairly obvious. Every single Friday... at the same time, for the same amount of time, with the same person...”

 

She rubbed a hand over the back of her neck. Had her distress not already been apparent, it was made more so by the audible breath she exhaled. Guy wanted to say something now, but he still didn't know what. He let Liz continue of her own accord.

 

“It's been going on for two, maybe three months. I swear, he's done everything he can to that car. But every week, that man's back in there again. It's never completely fixed.” Her hand fell and landed on the table. She curled her fingers into her palm, just enough so that she could feel her fingernails dig into the skin. Just enough to hold in her emotions for now.

 

He's a loser. He's a complete loser. Anyone would be lucky to have you. You should leave him. You deserve so much better. He should feel like absolute shit for doing this to you. How could anyone do anything like that to such a beautiful woman? You deserve to be happy. He deserves to be hit by a truck.

 

These were a few of the vast amount of phrases that popped into Guy's head. But he still couldn't make a choice. He didn't know what would be right to say, what would be appropriate to tell her. She kept her eyes on her hand.

 

“There's a, uh... a motel not too far from here,” she continued. Guy winced. He wished he didn't have to hear it. He wished she didn't have to say it. But maybe she needed to say it, and he wanted to be there to listen, to give her someone to say it to. To be of some help. “I pass it on the way to the grocery store. So, I know exactly how long it takes to get there. And... I know exactly how long it takes Chris to get there.”

 

Guy would have cracked a smile had it not been such a serious moment. If anything, it made him frown deeper. He felt the anger start to rise in his body. It was like his insides had started to shake, and soon he would show outward signs. He tried to control it, just as Liz was trying not to break down.

 

“You know, when Chris first started up the business, there wasn't much help. I did the bookkeeping for a while. A few years, actually. I know how much everything costs. I know how much money he should be bringing in for that work. And I know how much he's not bringing in now.”

 

“It's a big difference, huh?” Guy had hardly realized that the words came from his own mouth. He didn't understand why his brain had chosen those words to speak. Liz didn't answer him, not directly at least. There was a silence that lasted a few minutes. Guy hoped that he hadn't upset her further. That was the last thing he wanted to do.

 

“But as far as payment goes... well, that's it, isn't it?” She laughed, shortly, pained. The corners of her mouth began to twitch. “Chris services his car... and he services Chris.”

 

“I'm so sorry,” Guy whispered. She finally looked up at him. The deep brown of her eyes was clouded by tears.

 

“Did you know?” she asked, her voice broken. Guy froze. His heart beat faster as he decided whether or not to tell her the truth. “I won't be mad or anything. I would never expect anyone to tell me. Did you know?”

 

Guy stared for another few seconds. He nodded. Oddly, Liz smiled at his response. It was a sad sort of smile, but a smile nonetheless. Her tears stayed in their bubble.

 

“We married young,” she said after a long silence. “I guess most couples who marry young don't last very long. They think it will all be so easy, then they're completely surprised to find that they have to actually work at a relationship to make it last. But, fifteen years... I thought we'd made it. I thought it had worked out for us.”

 

A single tear rolled down her cheek. Guy couldn't just sit there anymore. Seeing Liz hurting like this was more than he could take. He knew it was a bad idea. He knew that he might regret it in the possibly near future. But he couldn't stop himself.

 

Guy walked around the table and took the seat right next to Liz. She turned to face him as he sat down. It was like she knew what he intended to do. She leaned towards him, leaned into him as he wrapped his arms around her. She cried for a while, her head buried in his chest. He rubbed his hand across her back, rested his chin on top of her head.

 

It felt so right. It felt right, except for Liz's crying. If everything had been the way Guy perceived it should have been, she wouldn't have been crying. At least not out of sadness. Maybe they would be tears of joy. Tears of joy, because their life had turned out so perfectly. She and Guy were so happy together.

 

“M-maybe you should go back now,” Liz quietly said as she lifted her head ever so slightly. “Chris should be back soon. I don't think he'd be happy to see you're not there.”

 

Guy had forgotten that he was supposed to be working. It didn't seem to matter to him. That feeling that maybe he could have found what he'd always been longing for had taken over him quite suddenly. He gently brushed back some of Liz's dark brown curls. “Why don't you tell him?” he replied in an equally soft voice. “Why don't you let him know how much he's hurting you?”

 

He half expected her to tell him that she couldn't. He would have understood, even though he thought it was only fair for her to tell Chris. Even if she didn't want to be with Guy afterward. At least she could be happier.

 

But when she fully lifted her head and locked her eyes with his, he saw that there was a sort of light behind them. She was actually considering it.

 

 

Running to Stand Still

 

 

Chapter 1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He looked up at the night sky, seeing the darkness let in the light of the shinning North Star. All alone in the middle of little dots of yellow around. But she was a vibrant diamond that shone above all. Yes, she, for in his mind she was a Lady.

 

And he wanted nothing more than be the Lord of Her domain.

 

The air was chilly as he was used to in Kenilworth Castle. Where he had first seen the stars in the sky above him. He heard the voice of Katherine Swynford calling his name in the distance. Looking in the direction of the sound, he saw the most beautiful woman he could think of. Red hair framing beautiful features that no one could avoid. Her feminine posture mixed with her strength made Katherine seem like the most dangerous, yet docile panther. She was quite simply astonishing.

 

He ran in her direction, as fast as his legs would allow him, and when he was right next to her he put his arms in the air and let her grab him and hold him like the most precious person there ever was. His mother was definitely the woman he loved the most. He was still a kid but he knew he loved her, even if he couldn’t comprehend what love was.

 

He was born John. John Henry Guy Beaufort. He could never remember his entire name. He didn’t care for it either. He cared about running around the large fields his family owned. He cared about getting into fights with his brother Henry. He cared about being with his sisters, especially Phillipa.

 

“What are you doing out here when you should be up in your room, little, sneaky boy?” She asked him, amused at his wide-eyed expression.

 

He giggled as most children did: in a way that showed he was happy with his sly behavior. He put his arms around her neck and buried his face in her soft, long hair. A red curtain he liked to call “the torch of Kenilworth”. It was definitely his torch. The light that guided him through the grand castle he still got lost in, the narrow halls and the cold floors turning his life into a continuous search for the right way to go.

 

Katherine took him inside, getting him in his bed as soon as they entered his room. His nanny was there, looking sternly at him. But she couldn’t stay mad for too long. He would smile widely and everyone would start smiling along with him, forgetting they were ever annoyed with his behavior in the first place.

 

The little boy was three years old, celebrated in the previous month with great excitement. He had a charm that melted everyone’s hearts, even if times were tough sometimes, in the midst of wars and battles, amongst conspiracy and angered enemies. His father, John of Gaunt, was the responsible for most of those instability problems, to be honest. He was the one that could be a threat to the throne of England. He was the one that had a mistress that people now hated with a passion. He was the one that provoked others with his belligerent, fearless nature.

 

In his little hands, he grasped his mother’s hair. In spite of people calling him by his first name, his mother called him Guy. He didn’t know why but it was what she had always called him in private. To be completely honest, that was the only time he truly felt himself. He could recognize himself with that name, so he forgot sometimes about his first name. The name that indicated who his father was.

 

“Do you love me more than anyone else in the world?” He asked his mother, suddenly. She stopped in her tracks and looked back at him.

 

She silently asked the nanny to step outside and sat on top of Guy’s bed, next to the wide-eyed child that nervously fidgeted with the hem of the comforter.

 

“You know, I wondered about that all the time… and I never asked my mother.” Katherine replied, gently. “And you know what? I found the answer when you were born. I found the answer when each of your siblings were born.”

 

Guy smiled. It was a typical answer from his mother. She had to be the most delicate, warm-hearted person he knew. The person he loved the most in the world.

 

“You don’t have to worry, sweetheart. There is no one in the world that can take away a mother’s love.” Katherine assured him.

 

Guy decided it was enough for him. Knowing that he was loved so much and by so many people was enough to keep him hopeful about the future. Even if he knew he was a bastard. A Beaufort bastard, as people called him and his little brothers and his baby sister. Henry, Thomas and Joan. The fruits of Katherine and John’s relationship.

 

Being an illegitimate child was nothing extraordinary in the 14th century but he knew that people didn’t accept them as equals. Things wouldn’t be easy for them and he was glad he was prepared to fight for his place in the Kingdom that was now on Richard II’s hands.

 

“Now, it’s time to sleep. Tomorrow, there’s a whole new day waiting for you.” Katherine winked at him, ruffling his hair. She was glad she was able to have such a close relationship with her children, unlike many ladies in the King’s court. She was happy to shelter her children, even if for a few years, from the plots and schemes of the men and women that only dreamed of reaching for higher places, of getting new titles and properties.

 

“And for you.” He replied. Katherine looked at him, shaking her head from her daydreaming, smiling at the sharpness of her first-born.

 

 

 

 

 

Running to Stand Still

 

 

Chapter 2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Get out of the way!” Guy yelled at his sister Joan.

 

“I want to go too.” She demanded, quite too annoyingly for his liking.

 

“You’ll go when you’re not a kid.” He replied.

 

“I’m not a kid. I’m ten years old.” Joan said, her nose high up in the air, her tone exuding confidence in herself.

 

Guy couldn’t help laughing at his sister. She was lively and nice most of the time, which made him completely love her, but she could be a bit obnoxious. Right now, she was a bit like that. “Yes, and because of that, I don’t allow you to go with me. Or with anyone else for that matter.”

 

She fumed with frustration. Putting her foot down, she turned around, surely searching for their mother. Guy simply shrugged his shoulders and turned around to find Henry waiting for him. “What do you want?”

 

“I want to go with you.” Henry told him, a brave smile on his face.

 

Guy rolled his eyes. “What is it with you people today?” He asked out loud and sighed. “Fine, you can come with me. But come on, hurry up because I am already late.”

 

Henry smiled, patting his brother on the back, like he had seen his father doing. “You’re the best.”

 

Guy chuckled as his brother disappeared for a few moments. Once he returned, the two boys set off to Lord Hayworth’s castle a few miles from their own castle.

 

 

The sun was still fairly warm on their faces as they rode through the forested area that led them to one of the richest properties of the North of England.

 

A party was about to take place. Just a gathering of people celebrating someone’s birthday. Guy didn’t even know whose birthday it was. For all he cared, it could be the King’s. He had developed a careless nature over the years to some extent. Outwardly, he was indeed a gentlemen like he was supposed to be at the age of sixteen but he wasn’t that interested on gossip like everyone seemed to be in the society he lived in. He preferred his quiet life, where only fights and battles interrupted the natural course of his days. He lived for that rush of feelings that took his breath away.

 

“Guy!” His brother was calling him. “Where did you go?”

 

He smiled, vacantly. “Nowhere.”

 

“So, have you ever seen Mary?” Henry asked him, in a manner he was used to. Men were just like women when it came to prying for that kind of information.

 

“As a matter of fact, I have, my brother.” Guy replied, enjoying the widening of Henry’s eyes.

 

“What is she like?” Henry asked.

 

Mary was the daughter of Lord Hayworth. She was fourteen years old, just like Henry, and she was just as beautiful as his brother could dream of. Blonde hair and green eyes brightened every room she set her foot in. Guy had to admit she was no ordinary beauty though. She had a touch of royalty to her. He liked the appearance but she was not his type at all. Far too talkative. He knew Henry would like her though.

 

Upon their arrival at the desired destination, Guy and Henry left their horses near the entrance, where they handed the muscled, strong animals to a couple of servants.

 

“So many people are already here… This seems to be a big deal.” Guy said, in a low voice to his brother.

 

“Of course it is. Lord Hayworth’s birthday is kind of a major celebration, Guy.” Henry told him, quite serious.

 

Guy had to laugh at his tone. His brother was younger than him and he already knew so much more about the meanders of the kind of life they led more than Guy would ever know. Or care to know, for that matter. “I suppose it is, my dear Henry.” Guy smiled and put an arm around his brother’s shoulder in laughter.

 

However, his eye landed on a lone figure by the large hall’s window.

 

A young woman in a dark dress. He couldn’t tell if it was dark blue or dark grey. He decided he had to find out, and the only way to do that would be by getting closer to her. She was different from the other girls in the ample room they were in. While others had a fair complexion and were quite gaily in conversation, she had dark brown hair like his own and her plump lips were closed as she gazed out the window.

 

“I… I am going to see if I can find George around here…” Guy said, distractedly, to Henry. George was a friend of the family and he was supposed to be there. But now, he was the only way to get away from his brother side, without seeming suspicious.

 

Henry simply nodded, too busy looking for Mary to notice his brother’s antics.

 

Guy headed over to the other side of the room, managing to avoid most ladies and gentlemen that could start a conversation with him.

 

“Good evening, my lady.” He said, bowing a little as he got near the beautiful brunette that now looked at him, taking her hand and softly kissing it.

 

She looked down at him, lowering her frame a bit to greet him, just like he did a few seconds before. “Good evening, sir.”

 

“I have never seen you around these parts.” He said, not knowing what else to say to this mysterious lady in front of him.

 

“Quite normal, since I moved here from London just this last week. So, I am new to the neighborhood.” She explained, her silky, low voice sending shivers up his spine.

 

He felt silly and very much like a girl would feel, he thought to himself. He nodded his head anyway. “Very well. I am hoping you’ll like the area. It might be a little bit colder than what you’re used to but we have our own… qualities…” He finished, a faint smile on his lips.

 

Her presence intimidated him, she could tell, by his behavior. For some reason, she found it quite exhilarating. Her life, as he would soon realize, was quite dull, she thought to herself. She had nothing that could interest a man that she could see was full of life inside and, to be honest with herself, the most beautiful man she had ever seen. “I am sure of that, sir.”

 

Guy smiled as she treated him like a true knight, when he still had yet to be given such a privilege. “My name is Guy.” He said, without hesitation, then he realized he had given her his family name. He always presented himself with the name John. What are you doing?

 

“My name is Elisabeth. Elisabeth of the House of Sutton.” She told him.

 

“Elisabeth… lady Elisabeth, I shall say.” Guy smiled, once again. He felt this need to smile more than he would in these occasions, which made him feel perplexed at his own attitude. “Quite a beautiful name.”

 

“Why thank you.” She nodded her head to acknowledge his compliment.

 

And then silence descended upon them. He had no idea what he could say to her and she seemed to be in the same position. He wanted to tell her how her eyes reminded him of the way land looked like when the cereals were cropped at the end of the Summer. He wanted to tell her how her fair skin seemed like porcelain. In the end, he told her nothing.

 

Elisabeth looked once again out the window. “How do you know Lord Hayworth?” She asked.

 

Guy had to clear his mind, in order to respond properly. “Uh… like everybody else knows.”

 

“How does everybody else know then?” She asked him.

 

“Through these silly parties and tournaments… Occasions like that.” He replied.

 

She looked at him. “I’m glad you find these parties silly, because I have no interest in staying here.” As she said this, she grabbed his hand and led him outside.

 

The sun was about to set and they had nothing but miles of land ahead of them. They looked at each other and a silent deal was made. They smiled and looking away into the distance, they both started running with all their might.

 

They ran and ran until their breaths couldn’t handle it anymore.

 

Laughingly, Guy let his finest clothes get dirty from the soil as he took Elisabeth by the waist and they both stumbled and fell. Elisabeth was laughing uncontrollably as well. Her hair was no longer groomed as it was when she set foot in the property. Her cheeks were now flushed and her eyes were smiling with contentment.

 

Guy looked intently at her and their laughter subsided. As their smiles faded, Guy’s heartbeat increased considerably. He had never kissed a girl before, in spite of his sixteen years of age. He knew that most young men around his age had already kissed girls, even more than that, but he never had felt it was the right time or the right girl. He was never betrothed and there didn’t seem to be any plans in that direction for him right now.

 

This time, though, he risked it. He slowly leaned in and grazed his lips against hers. He felt her tremble under his fingers as he let his hands rest on her waist, feeling his nerves surface.

 

She responded at first, her closed eyes and open mouth savoring his feel next to her. But she put a hand on his chest, stopping him from further kissing her, and raised from the ground, followed by a blushing Guy.

 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you…” He said, hurriedly.

 

“Well, you did.” She said, suddenly angry. Angry at him for initiating. Angry at herself for letting her guard down next to him. Angry at her parents for having done what they had done the week before. “You shall never do that again. Do you understand me, sir?”

 

Guy frowned at her tone. “Sir? Why are you calling me that now?” He felt his stomach starting to ache.

 

“Because this is the way I should have treated you all along.” She shook her head, looking away. “I can’t… I can’t respond to what you just did.”

 

“You already responded. I felt it.” Guy pointed out.

 

Elisabeth looked at him, tears clouding her eyes. Her beautiful, brown eyes. “I am already promised to someone else. It’s rather inappropriate for me to be here alone with you as it is. So, please, will you forget this ever happened?”

 

“Will you?” Guy asked, afraid of what her answer would be.

 

She looked straight at him and sighed. “Yes, I will.”

 

Guy felt the pain in his chest quite vividly. He wouldn’t let her see that, though. “Very well. Then I shall leave you alone… Although, I guess you won’t be alone, huh?”

 

She looked down and nodded. “That’s right.” She didn’t her tears fall down her face in front of him. Instead, she ran away from him back to the hall where music could be heard at that moment.

 

People laughed and cheered in a very unrestrained manner, Guy noticed from afar. In his head, there was no place for that kind of humor right now. He didn’t feel like laughing. He sure as hell felt like drinking but he didn’t have the heart to go back in there and face Elisabeth.

 

Elisabeth. She even had the name of one of his half-sisters. He sighed, brushing a hand across his face in a frustrated way.

 

She was going to get married.

 

When he thought God would finally find a woman for him and place her on his path, she was about to get married.

 

Serves you right for waiting for someone, for waiting for love, when that is the one thing you won’t marry someone for.

 

 

 

 

 

Running to Stand Still

 

 

Chapter 3

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The days passed slower and slower for him.

 

Everyone in the castle noticed the change in his behavior. He was quiet sometimes, sure, but this was a whole new level.

 

Katherine asked his brothers to take care of him and try to find out what was happening with the eldest of the bunch. Henry and Thomas tried to find out indeed what bothered their older brother but they had no luck doing it.

 

One day, as the three young men rode their horses to the center of the tiny village, they met one of their longtime friends: young William of the house of Champions.

 

“Hello, Beauforts!” He called out, as soon as he saw them.

 

“Hello, William!” Was the response from the three brothers.

 

“What are you doing over here in town? We thought you were with Henry of Lancaster’s troops.” Thomas asked, his tone not betraying his twelve years of age.

 

“Well, young Tamkin, I am here because I have family affairs to attend to. Seems that my father has some sort of news to tell me and I asked Henry to come for a few days before joining him again.” William replied.

 

Thomas and Henry engaged in a pleasant conversation with the other man, while Guy let his eyes wander around. In his mind, he knew he was looking for her. Amidst the thin layer of fog, he searched for her face. But he saw nothing but women in their thirties or men in their twenties. He was tired of looking for someone who wouldn’t certainly be there among the commoners, when William took him out of his trance.

 

“Guy!” He called, for what could be the second or third time.

 

“What?” Guy asked, still distracted.

 

“I was asking your brothers if you’re coming to the party my father is throwing next Saturday.” William told him.

 

“Uh… I don’t know.” He looked at his brothers, unsure of what his response would be.

 

“Yes, he is.” Henry replied for him. “And he’ll be in much better spirits, Lord Champion, I assure you.”

 

William smiled. “I am hoping he will. We have a lot to catch up on, Guy.” With that, he patted the other man on the shoulder, both men still on top of their horses that now grazed their heads against each other.

 

Guy smiled, in spite of his state. “Certainly.”

 

 

 

Three days later, when Saturday came along, a cloudy day right from the start, Guy stayed in bed longer than he expected to.

 

Katherine came in to find him still beneath the quilt she always made sure was in his bed when the maids made the beds in the morning. She looked worriedly at her son and sat on the edge of the bed, stroking his hair to wake him up.

 

Guy turned to the other side but halfway through the movement, she put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “Guy.” She said, softly.

 

He heard her voice in the dizziness of his sleep. “Mom?” He murmured.

 

His voice was low and laced with sleep but, to Katherine’s alarm, it was also full of vulnerability. She knew he was a soft boy inside but he always looked so brave and sure of himself that it made her heart ache to hear him like that. She thought of John of Gaunt, the love of her life and father of the young man that now showed how fragile he was. She thought of the way people misinterpreted his arrogance and didn’t see the sensitive man he was.

 

Her little boy was just like his father in that sense.

 

“It’s me, son. Wake up.” She told him, gently.

 

He put a hand to his face and yawned, his eyes still aching for more sleep. “Good morning, mother. What time is it?”

 

“It’s about time to start our first meal.” She told him, trying to bring him to life.

 

“Hmm…” He mumbled. “Okay, I will get ready and go downstairs in a few minutes.” Guy added.

 

“Son, are you okay?” She asked him.

 

He looked at her, his eyes as big and brown as ever. “Yes, mother, I am. I will be downstairs as soon as I get dressed.”

 

She eyed him, still unsure of his answer. Sighing, she nodded her head and left the bedroom.

 

Guy put his head on his hands and massaged his temples, trying to get rid of the headache that constantly pained him day after day, due to the lack of sleep he had been getting.

 

He let his feet touch the cold tiles and slowly grabbed the clothes he would be wearing to have his morning class with his tutor. Then, in the afternoon, he was supposed to take his sister on a ride with the new horse that arrived for her. And, finally, the dreadful party.

 

If William wasn’t such a dear friend, he would simply make an excuse but he had sent a note from one of his bondsmen to make sure he would be going, because now he knew what his father was going to announce at the party. And he had insisted he wanted Guy to be there next to him. To celebrate.

 

It was the last thing Guy felt like doing. But he had replied affirmatively anyway.

 

 

 

The daze he was in made the day seem longer than it was in fact.

 

It was now time to go with Joan for a horse ride. The little girl was already on the tip of her toes, jumping up and down next to the horse that she decided to call Sir Geoffrey of Kenilworth, which made him laugh, in spite of his depressed state. The only Geoffrey Joan was familiar with was her own tutor, a bright man that had more patience with her than he should have. However, Guy understood. It was hard to resist the little girl’s charming ways.

 

“Come, come, Guy!” She yelled as soon as she saw him in his riding boots. “The longer we stay here, staring at the horses, the longer it’ll take you to come back because I am not getting out of this horse so soon.”

 

Guy chuckled at his sister’s antics. “Alright, madam.”

 

She giggled, amused at the way he treated her. It was nice to see him this way. “Sir, I beg your pardon, but you will have to interrupt what you’re doing because I need your assistance.”

 

She held her hands up, as if to tell him to pick her up and help her climb up the horse. He made his way to her side and shaking his head, Guy made sure she was safely on top of the horse.

 

“Now, let’s see who wins this race!” She yelled to him, smirking in a challenging manner. With that, she set off to gallop into the woods that surrounded the castle.

 

Guy felt a rush of energy spread through his body and quickly got himself on top of his horse, chasing his sister laughingly.

 

“I’ll get you, you sneaky girl!” Guy yelled after her.

 

 

 

 

 

Lost

or

Incomplete

Chapter Seven

 

Chris closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was still a bit short of air. He felt the bed move as Jonny scooted closer.

 

“What are you doing?” he whispered. Chris kept his eyes closed.

 

“Just resting.”

 

“Well, come on, we have to go,” Jonny urgently told him. Chris peeked through one eye, wrapped both arms around Jonny and pulled him close. He settled his head against the pillow. “Chris!”

 

“Five minutes,” Chris mumbled. “Just five minutes. Please?”

 

There was a pause, but Chris knew he had won. Jonny sighed. “OK. Five minutes.” He closed his eyes as well, against his better judgment. He did like this feeling, the feeling of being in Chris's arms, he just wanted to make sure he could continue to feel it in the future. He was probably even more anxious about getting caught than Chris was.

 

As Chris laid there, breathing in as much of Jonny's scent as he could every time he inhaled, he became more and more convinced that something had gone wrong in his life. At some point, he had messed up and chosen the wrong path, but maybe now he was being given a second chance. He felt at peace with everything right then.

 

Jonny slowly opened his eyes. Something was off. He felt disoriented, which could only have meant one thing; he had fallen asleep. And judging by his steady breathing, so had Chris. As best as he could without waking Chris, Jonny turned to find the clock. His eyes bulged in panic, and he returned his focus to Chris.

 

“Chris,” he quietly said, nudging Chris's arm. “Chris, wake up.”

 

Chris stirred a little. He leaned even closer to Jonny. “Five minutes,” he muttered, nearly unintelligibly. He was starting to slip back into unconsciousness.

 

“Chris, we've been here for two hours,” Jonny said, much louder this time. “Shit.”

 

It took a moment for the information to register, but as soon as Chris realized what Jonny had said, his reaction was very much the same. His eyes flew open, and he immediately let go of Jonny and sat up. Jonny stood up from the bed and started to dress himself. Chris did the same, but he appeared to be in less of a hurry.

 

“I knew that was a bad idea,” Jonny said, almost to himself, but loud enough for Chris to hear. “Your wife is gonna know-”

 

“So what if Liz knows?” Chris interrupted without thinking first. But he couldn't stop there. He didn't want to stop there. He slid his shirt over his head, then turned to Jonny. “What is she gonna do? And… well, I was thinking about leaving her, anyway.”

 

“Why?” Chris saw that Jonny looked rather frightened by Chris's statement, which made him feel confused, hurt, and even a little angry all at once.

 

“Why?” he quietly repeated. He walked around the bed to where Jonny stood. “This isn't just about the sex, Jon. Sometimes what I really want is to just sit here with you and talk. I want to hear your stories. I want to tell you mine. Or to lay down and enjoy each other's company.” Chris looked at the now empty bed, longing to be back under its safe blankets. Then he looked at Jonny again. “I think I'm in love with you.”

 

Chris could see in Jonny's eyes that he felt the same, but he didn't intend on letting Chris know that. Not right away. “I'm moving,” he bluntly told Chris.

 

“Uh... where are you moving to?” Chris slowly asked, blinking more rapidly than normal. He was having difficulty thinking. It felt like someone had smashed his brains with a sledgehammer. He responded, but he felt like he couldn't fully process what Jonny said.

 

“New York,” Jonny replied.

 

“New York? Why are you moving to New York?”

 

“I'm being transferred. The place I work at has several locations in America, and apparently they want me in New York.” Jonny watched as Chris stared at the ground. For several long moments, they were both silent. Chris felt something in his mind click, and finally he was able to think clearly. At least, it seemed clear to him.

 

“This is perfect,” he said, looking up at Jonny with a grin. Now it was Jonny's turn to be confused. He raised his eyebrows about as far as they would go.

 

“How is this perfect?”

 

“Because,” Chris said, speaking with his hands, and he took another step forward, “it can all work out. I'll leave Liz, I'll give her the business if she wants it, and you and I can move to New York. We can start our own life without having to worry about any of this here. We can start over. Doesn't that sound perfect to you?”

 

Jonny thought about it. It was certainly one way to ensure their future together. And moving to another country would be much less scary with someone he knew by his side. And he did love Chris, or he did feel as close to love as he had ever come before. He felt himself nodding, the beginnings of a smile making their way onto his face.

 

Chris laughed joyously, threw his arms around Jonny's shoulders, and kissed him square on the mouth. “This is gonna be amazing,” he breathed, his eyes lighting up like 150-watt light bulbs. He stared at Jonny wondrously for a few more seconds, then grabbed his hand and started for the door. “Well, come on, then, let's go!”

 

Jonny laughed at Chris's excitation as they walked out of the room. Fifteen minutes later, Jonny pulled into the garage's parking lot. Before Chris got out, he started to speak. “Listen, Chris, if anything happens, if you need a place to stay tonight, you've got my number. Give me a call, and I'll come pick you up.”

 

“Thank you,” Chris said with a smile. He would have leaned over and kissed Jonny, but out of habit he made sure not to do anything like that when he was sure that they could be seen. And even though they had stayed at the motel for an excessive two hours, he was certain that his employees would still be in the shop. Guy would be, at least.

 

Lost

or

Incomplete

Chapter Eight

 

The men in the garage stepped outside and gathered in a very small crowd as Chris slid out of Jonny's car. There was an excitement in the air, a sense that something was about to happen. As Jonny pulled away and drove down the road, the men noticed Liz standing on the front porch of the house.

 

It was like watching a movie. The men stood back, but they witnessed everything. Chris was headed for the garage, but he stopped once he saw that his employees were staring off to the side. Then he saw Liz as well, and his path changed towards the house. No time like the present.

 

“Liz,” he said as he approached the stairs. Liz walked down and stared at him, coldly.

 

“Let me guess, did the car break down?” she snidely asked, her arms folded across her chest. Even in the lack of light, the wet trails down her cheeks were visible. “You're going to have to fix it again, right? Because obviously there's no better mechanic around here, but not even you can get a car to work correctly.”

 

Guy's advice had apparently worked, though Liz hadn't even followed it exactly. But Chris could already see that she was in so much pain. It was going to be much more difficult than he thought to say what he had to.

 

“Liz, there's something I have to tell you-” Chris began, before he was once again cut off.

 

“I already know about you two, Chris. Don't you think it's pretty easy to see?” Liz inhaled shakily, trying to hold back more tears. She wasn't entirely sure that there were more tears for her to cry, though, as she now felt dry and empty. Liz stole a glance over her shoulder at the crowded men. She could just barely see Guy, standing against the wall and not appearing as entertained as the others.

 

“I didn't want you to get hurt,” Chris quietly said. It felt like the words were coming from someone else's mouth, originating in someone else's mind. He didn't even know what he was saying. “I never wanted you to get hurt.”

 

“Well, you did a fantastic job,” Liz retorted, and she began to walk down the pavement leading from their house to the dark street. After a few steps, she paused and turned around. “I feel great right now.”

 

“How long have you known?” Chris asked her.

 

“How long have you been sneaking around? Or trying to sneak around.”

 

Chris looked at her with sadness. He ducked his head and stared at the ground beneath his feet. “You could have said something, if you knew for so long. You could have let me know...”

 

“Would that have changed anything? Would that have stopped you from doing it?” Liz took a step closer to her husband. She looked at him for a long time. Despite the rough and intense emotions she had experienced, particularly in that night alone, she still loved him. Despite her anger, she still longed to be close to him. But the distance between them was growing, and she didn't know that there was any way to stop it.

 

“Maybe...” Chris looked up at her. He felt awful seeing his wife like this, but he couldn't bring himself to actually think that what he had done was wrong. Because it never felt wrong. “Maybe things could have ended better.”

 

Liz put a hand over her chest. She found herself involuntarily walking backwards, her breath speeding to near hyperventilation. “What do you mean, 'ended'?” she cried. She was certain that she understood what Chris had meant, she had just hoped with every single fiber of her being that this would not happen. She had almost expected Chris to beg for forgiveness, pleading for her to understand that he could never love anyone as he loved her. And that from then on, things would be all right.

 

But now her fears were actualizing. Chris took a deep breath, standing in the same spot as Liz backed away from him. “Liz, I'm-” He still felt it nearly impossible to say the words. “I'm sorry.” And while it was an apology, it was in no way what Liz had wanted.

 

Perhaps the reason Liz was so devastated was not that she still wanted to be with Chris, but that she was hit with the same revelation Chris had- her life had turned out all wrong. Unlike Chris, though, this was not a happy epiphany for her. Now she felt as though she had wasted a good portion of her life, a time that she would never get back.

 

“We should never have gotten married,” she mused, though even she was unclear if she was speaking to Chris or just thinking aloud. Chris shook his head.

 

“It probably wasn't the right thing to do,” he quietly agreed. She laughed with a bone-shattering shriek. The men observing were no longer amused by the spectacle. There was dead silence for a few moments. Even the nature around them seemed to quiet.

 

“It was a mistake,” she said with a condescending smile, “is that what you're saying? It was a mistake to marry me.”

 

“Well, you don't have to say it like that-”

 

“It was a mistake for me to marry you,” she told him, no trace of her feigned happiness on her face. Her voice was colder and darker than the night air. “It's a good thing we never had children. But how could I have known? How could I have known back then? When you're young like that, and this wonderful boy tells you he loves you, you're not going to suspect that's he's a homosexual.”

 

Chris's eyes widened, and his face gave the impression that he was completely taken aback. “You think that-”

 

“Please, Chris!!” she shouted, her voice beginning to crack. “For fifteen years, I've watched hundreds of girls flirt with you, and you never even bat an eye. I was foolish enough to think that it was because you actually loved me.”

 

For what seemed like hours, Chris was speechless. This was much more complicated than he had expected it to be. But now he felt the time was finally right to say it. It was basically implied, anyway. “Liz,” he slowly and conclusively began, “I'm leaving... I'm leaving you.”

 

He thought she would scream. He thought she would fall down to her knees and burst out in tears. He thought she would tell him to go, to find somewhere else to stay for the night. All she did was turn and slowly start to walk away. Very slowly. Her steps were less than an inch apart.

 

“Where are you going?” he called after her. He knew that if she stayed, there was no way to work things out between them, but he at least wanted some sort of closure. Her departure sort of left things open.

 

“I'm going for a walk,” she said, looking over her shoulder at him. Her eyes searched for Guy once more, who was the only friend she had now. But she could just barely see his face through her blurry vision. “I just need to...”

 

Then she lost it, and the rest of the pavement was cleared in a sprint towards the street. It seemed like she was trying to make it to the other side of the road, but she couldn't quite get there.

 

But how did it happen? Guy stood in horror and watched as Chris ran after her. One of the men moved beside him and ran inside to make a phone call. Was the street really that dark? Even without any streetlights nearby- what about the headlights? How had no one heard it coming? They had all been so engrossed in the argument that they failed to hear the truck speeding down the road.

 

At least, Guy could only hope that Liz hadn't known it was coming.

 

Good luck Pennies

-Dedicated to someone I lost many years ago today-

 

 

 

Barren. That’s all I think about was how barren it was. I would have thought that in the time that has passed they would have put something here, but nothing. All they have managed to do is bicker about what should go there. I don’t think anything they put there will ever really matter to me, it won’t change anything, it will always remain a reminder of the anger I felt, the devastation, and the hopelessness. I feel a warm hand squeeze mine and realize that it is time to go. I place the penny on the ground and turn around and walk away.

 

-9 years prior-

 

Out of the corner of his eye he watched as the gray metal door hit the frame and let out the tinny clang announcing that it had closed. He held his breath and watched as the willowy figure made her way across the hall toward him. He began to countdown in his head her imminent arrival. ‘5..4..3..2..’ “Hi Guy!”

 

‘Guy cringed inwardly as the rainbow’s and bubble gum voice hit his ear drum. “Oh hi Whitney.” He mumbled under his breath and looked straight ahead at his locker, deciding whether he should make up and excuse to try and escape or stand there and listen to her mindless dribble.

 

“So I missed you last night! I thought you were going to be at Sammy’s last night, but I didn’t see you. Where were you?” Whitney asked as she smacked her gum in Guy’s ear.

 

Guy thought back to what he was doing the night prior, he was at home watching his younger brother while his mom and dad attended a gala at the MET. “Yeah I was uh busy.” He replied as he grabbed a book out of his locker and shut it.

 

“Oh that’s like so bad. It was a really good party and like I would have had more fun if you were like there.” Whitney whined.

 

Guy was trying to remember why he hadn’t just closed his locker on his head while he had the chance. “Yeah, too bad.” He half-heartedly said.

 

“Yeah, well you’ll just have to come to the next party. Well anyway I need to go to Mr. Gunther’s class or else I’ll get like another tardy slip or something.”

 

“Well you better go then.”

 

“Okay, bye Guy.” Whitney said as she waved her fingers at him and bashed her eyes in an attempt to look ‘sexy’

 

“What are we going to do with you? I leave you alone for 5 seconds and hyenas move in?”

 

Guy looked down and saw Katie standing next to him with her hand on her hip and her I don’t give a shit attitude. He cracked a smile for the first time and that day. “ Katie, your timing is terrible, I swear you and I need to start dating just so that Whitney and her apes can leave me alone.”

 

“Aww well if you insist I guess I can be your girlfriend. Now carry my shit and tell me about your day.” The feisty little brunette demanded.

 

Guy saluted her in a drill sergeant manor and said, “Yes ma’am” as he took her black backpack and slung on his back in an effortless manor. “So besides Whitney bombarding me with her stupidity I had a fairly decent day, ran cross country this morning. I watched my little brother last night while my parents went to the Mayors election party at the Met last night.”

 

“Well you live quite the exciting life! We live in one of the most sought after cities in the world and that is all you did.”

 

“Geez! Sorry little miss, I can’t just leave my little brother home alone, and it was only a Sunday night! I suppose I need to hang out with you, Amanda, and Hailey more. Oh wait, then everyone will think I’m gay.”

 

“No one will think you gay, if Whitney still chases you.” Katie said as she gave Guy a wink. “Besides we go to a performing arts school, half the men here are gay!”

 

“Mhhm. So shall I meet you guys tonight at the same spot?” Guy asked.

 

“Hmm I think so, i’ll send you a text if we decided to change it up. Bye boyfriend.”

 

“I think we should break up!” Guy called after Katie.

 

“In your dreams!” Katie yelled back.

 

Guy grinned and turned around and took off in the opposite direction heading home.

 

-^V*V^-

 

There was a note on the counter when Guy got home telling him to pick up his little brother from school. Guy sighed and tossed his backpack onto the marble counter top, if his mother were home she would have yelled at him and chastised him from being lazy and not walking down the hall and putting his bag in his room. But she wasn’t here and he was thirsty. Guy meandered over to the fridge and found a can of coke. Propping himself up on the counter Guy drank the coke slowly savoring the crisp taste. Guy glanced around the apartment; it was a mix of modern concrete and southern charm. His mother was from the deep south of Louisiana while his dad was from the city.

 

Somewhere along the way the two of them had met and now here they were. His mother was a real-estate agent here in the city, she often dealt with celebrity clients and so she catered to their every need and met with them when it was ideal to them. His dad was the CEO of a major marketing firm and worked heavily with big companies.

 

Due to both of his parents career’s they lived in an expensive apartment that over looked the city and harbor. His mother would have preferred an apartment that overlooked central park, but his father worked in the financial district and so they chose to live closer to his work.

 

Guy glanced up at the clock on the microwave and realized that he was going to be late picking up his brother. “Shit!” Guy chugged the rest of the coke and then crushed the can and tossed it into the garbage can. Grabbing his keys he left the apartment and hopped in the elevator.

 

-^V*V^-

 

“Your late!” A little boy about 8 said as Guy approached.

 

“I’m sorry Charlie! I really am. I was daydreaming.” Guy said as he waved to one of Charlie’s teachers and they walked off.

 

“Well Guy your not as late as mom or dad would be, so I guess I can forgive, but just this once.” Charlie said with a wicked grin.

 

“Thanks little man, so how was school? Any cute girls?”

 

“Well today during art I sat next to Autumn, and I asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend.”

 

“Oh really? What did she say?”

 

“She said only if I would hold her hand and open doors for her.”

 

Guy looked down at his little brother and laughed. “Well done little man! Did you kiss her?”

 

“Yeah, I had to sneak it in at recess. She tastes like cherry. I think it was her chap-stick. Oh I gave her my penny that you gave me, I hope that’s okay.”

 

“Charlie, I will just have to give you another lucky penny then, I mean that one seems to have already brought you good luck with Autumn it seems.”

 

Charlie smiled and hugged his older brother.

 

“Alright! So are you excited about your field trip tomorrow?” Guy questioned?

 

“Mmm I guess. I’ve been there a load of times before you know with dad, but this time I get to go with Autumn!” Charlie said excitedly

 

Guy grinned and high fived his little brother.

 

“So mom and dad are working late do you want to come to the park with me and my friends tonight? We can grab a hot dog on the way.” Guy asked.

 

“Yeah! That sounds so cool!”

 

“Alright little man! Sounds good!”

 

-^V*V^-

 

“I’m impressed with how long he lasted.” Hailey said in her soft melodic tone

 

Guy looked down at his brother as he carried him in his arms home. “Yeah, me too. He loves coming with me. You guys are great to deal with him.” Guy whispered back.

 

Hailey smiled. “If we didn’t we wouldn’t ever see you outside of the florescent lights of our school.”

 

“Well I’m just glad he’s a good sport about it. In a couple of years he won’t be.”

 

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that, your such a good brother to him. Honestly Guy, your going to be an amazing father.”

 

“Thanks, Hailey. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you next year when you go off to school in California and I stay here. I’ll be so lost.”

 

“Guy, stop being so overdramatic. I swear you’re like a girl sometimes. Now kiss me goodnight cause this is where I leave you.”

 

Guy bent down and gently placed a soft kiss on Hailey’s lips.

 

“We need to come out about our relationship, I can’t take anymore of Whitney.”

 

“I good time we will, but we can’t come out after our siblings just got together, what will the people think?”

 

“Alright miss, but I give these two a week and then were out. I’m going to yell it on the rooftops if I have to.”

 

“Oh Mr. Berryman you are so incorrigible, but that’s why I love you. Now goodnight.”

 

-^V*V^-

 

“So here is your lunch, I made it this morning so it’s only got the good stuff in it. Now I hope you have a good time on your field trip, it looks like it’s going to be a really nice day.” Guy said to Charlie as he was dropping him off for school.

 

“Thanks Guy! You’re the best.” Charlie said as he gave his brother a quick hug.

 

“I’ll pick you up after school again, I’ll try not to be late again.”

 

“Okay! Oh wait Guy! I need a new luck penny!” Charlie called out as Guy began to leave.

 

Guy paused and quickly thought, “I need to make one lucky for you, so today when I pick you I’ll have one for you then. Sound good?”

 

“Can I have your lucky penny?”

 

Guy reached in his pocket and felt the tiny round object and thought back to why it was lucky to him. He had just picked it up off the ground when he met Hailey. He didn’t want to give this penny away. “Charlie this one is special to me, I promise thought that when I pick you up today I will have a penny waiting for you, okay?” Guy called back to Charlie.

 

“Okay. Thanks Guy! I’ll see you later!” Charlie ran off into the school leaving Guy to walk off to his.

 

-^V*V^-

 

It’s been 9 years. 9 years since everything changed. 9 years since mom has smiled. 9 years since dad has really looked at me. 9 years since I have felt his warm body beating against mine. That was the last time I saw him. I regret everyday not giving him my penny. It might have been that penny that saved his life. I’m told that he saved his friends that day. His ‘girlfriend’ told me that he saw it happening and pushed them out of the way. I believe her because that is the kind of thing Charlie would do. He was a selfless little boy, who didn’t deserve to die that day, he had so much left to do here on earth, but as my wife Hailey reminds me everyday the Lord need him more than we did. So Charlie every year on September 11th I place a good luck penny at the towers, and I hope that somehow you get that.

 

 

Lost

or

Incomplete

Chapter Nine

 

 

“Guy?”

 

Guy looked up to see Chris standing beside him. His face was worn, his eyelids and cheeks drooping, dark circles accentuating his grief. Guy didn't say anything.

 

“You didn't have to come in today,” Chris told him.

 

“I wanted to,” Guy said. But he kept it to himself that he only came because it made him feel closer to Liz. It was the only way for him to experience that now. Chris looked around the empty garage.

 

“Well, I don't have anything for you to do.” Chris ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Would you... Well, Jon and I were going to visit the... cemetery... Do you want to come with us?”

 

Guy stared at Chris. He didn't hate him like he should have. But that was most likely because he didn't feel much of anything at all. He hadn't felt anything in weeks. “Sure,” he answered. Chris tried to smile.

 

Then there were a few moments of silence. It was a little awkward. “Jonny should be here soon... another ten minutes or so.”

 

“All right.”

 

The two men were completely silent after that, until Jonny arrived. Even if there had been something to say between them, neither would have said it.

 

In the car, Jonny spoke quietly with Chris. Guy sat in the back seat and stared out the window. He preferred it that way. He could hear Chris and Jonny conversing, but he tried not to listen. If he had listened, he would have had to think about what they were saying, and at that particular moment he was in no mood to think. So he watched the trees go by until the car stopped.

 

The men stood quietly gathered around the grave, all staring at the tombstone. After a while, some sniffing came from Chris's direction. Before long, he was burying his head in Jonny's shoulder. Jonny placed his arms around Chris and rubbed his back a bit. Guy watched them, then stared at Liz's grave once more.

 

It was hard for him to understand how life could go on after something like this. Chris had a right to be upset. But he also had someone there to comfort him. He had someone to be with still. Guy had no one. He didn't even feel entitled to react as Chris had.

 

He couldn't seem to control himself entirely, though, and a few tears fell down his cheeks. Chris must have lifted his head at some point and was now watching Guy.

 

“You talked to her, didn't you?” Chris asked him, innocently. “You were her friend.”

 

Guy looked up at him. He nodded slightly. “I-I talked to her sometimes. About as often as you did.” Standing at Liz's grave had changed something for him; for the first time in as long as he could remember, he actually felt something other than numbness. It would have been nice to feel a positive emotion (though he had never truly known what happiness was like), but at this moment he looked at Chris with anger flashing in his eyes.

 

Chris looked hurt, still being held in Jonny's arms. He frowned deeper. “You know, I did love her-”

 

“Funny way of showing it,” Guy said, a sudden strength in his voice. Chris shook his head.

 

“No, not like that,” he said. “I loved her like friend. She was my friend. My best friend.”

 

“Is that how you treat all of your friends? You lie to them and leave them with no one else while you go off and have your fun.” Chris scrunched up his eyebrows. He was apparently confused by Guy's attitude. He backed away from Jonny and turned fully to Guy.

 

“Why are you saying this?” he quietly asked. “You don't know what any of that was like. You don't know what we were like.”

 

“I know how she felt before...” Guy couldn't finish. He clenched and unclenched his fists. “I know how hurt she was. Even when you weren't with him. She told me. She told me about all the nights she would lay in bed alone and cry herself to sleep because you were too busy working.”

 

“It wasn't how I wanted it to be. It wasn't how I thought it would be... But things were complicated.” Chris's offense was slowly turning into aggression. “You can't fully understand that.”

 

“And you can't just run away from your problems and into someone else's arms because you can't handle reality,” Guy retorted. “Not everyone gets that chance, to share that sort of bond, and it seems like you've had more chances than you deserve.”

 

“It's not like I slept around or anything,” Chris shouted. “I've only ever been with two people my entire life. And what gives you the right to talk about running away from reality? You're always spacing, off in some other world, and why is that? Because you like the way your life has turned out? You're not perfect either.”

 

“I know I'm not perfect, but at least I would have treated her better!” Guy took a few deep breaths and looked at the rectangle of overturned dirt. “And maybe then she'd be...”

 

“Is that what this is about, then?” Chris asked, his gaze still on Guy. “You blame me.” After a few seconds of tense silence, Guy steadily moved his eyes upon Chris once more. He thought his expression was enough of an answer, but he was apparently wrong. “Say it, then. Go on, say it to my face.”

 

Chris was a little unsure of why he was becoming so angry. But deep down, he knew it was directed at himself, because he too felt it was his fault. He strongly wanted Guy to act like he always did and keep his mouth shut. Maybe that would mean that he wasn't entirely to blame. Guy continued to stare at him.

 

It didn't work. Chris's guilt didn't subside in the least, and before he knew it he was shouting once more, louder and more infuriated than he had ever been. “SAY IT, GUY! JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW IS TRUE- THAT LIZ IS DEAD AND IT'S BECAUSE OF ME. IT'S MY FAULT, AND WITHOUT ME SHE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE-”

 

Guy silenced Chris with a firm meeting between his fist and Chris's jaw. At first, Chris was actually glad. He thought he deserved it, until Guy hit him again. And again. It all happened so quickly; after only a few seconds, Chris could no longer tell exactly where the blood running down his face was coming from.

 

Guy felt a pair of hands tightly grip his shoulders. In the heat of the moment, he had forgotten that Jonny was even there. Jonny pushed him back, yelling, “Get off of him!!” and the force of his shove caused Guy to fall and land on his back. He laid on the ground for a fraction of a second before he sat up and watched as Jonny tended to Chris.

 

And that was it. After all that had happened, nothing had really changed. This was just always how it was going to be. Chris was given attention, love he didn't deserve, and Guy was all alone.

 

Running to Stand Still

 

 

Chapter 4

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taking off the boots, Guy had to fall back against the bed. He was tired from the ride that afternoon. Joan had insisted on challenging time after time and he was relieved she did it because he wanted to. He wanted to feel free; the wind was the only thing he could feel as he let his eyes close in pure joy and satisfaction. And every step of the horse was a jolt to his system. Finally, he felt alive again. If only for a couple of seconds.

 

Guy took his daily bath alone. Usually, he had his servants’ help but he insisted a few months ago that he was very well capable of doing it alone. Everyone had raised their eyebrows in surprise and he had to admit he enjoyed being a little bit unpredictable, but above all, independent.

 

The water felt refreshing as ever but it was warmer that day. Which resulted in him falling asleep for a little while, his head supported against the wooden surface. Luckily he didn’t change positions or else he could have been found in a much more precarious state.

 

“Guy!” Someone banged at the door. “Guy!”

 

Since he didn’t wake up, for he had finally fallen in what felt like an eternity, the caller decided to enter the room.

 

Guy felt someone shake him. “Guy!” Henry’s voice woke him up.

 

“What?” Guy asked, startled.

 

“We have to go! We’re already late.” His brother urged him to get up and get ready.

 

“Oh my God! I’m so sorry, I fell asleep.” He rushed out of the tub and dried himself as fast as he could, putting on his clothes in a distressed way. “How do I look?” He asked, his hair still untamed, his growing beard a bit longer than usual.

 

Henry frowned but he knew he couldn’t afford wasting more time. “Presentable enough. Let’s go!”

 

 

 

The three boys came through the doors of the manor house and the first thing they noticed was the food.

 

Plates and stew pots were placed upon two long tables that almost took the entire space. Bread was everywhere and they could see knives for everyone. It was not common for a Lord to have that kind of extravagance. In most of these parties, where food was served this way, guests were expected to bring their own knives. It was indeed a special occasion, Guy noticed.

 

Pork, mutton and lamb could be smelled from afar and the scent of cider was a relief to Guy’s sensitive nose. He was already overwhelmed with the reception they experienced right away.

 

Upon seeing them at the entrance, William greeted them with a smile that made Guy a bit surprised.

 

“Hello, boys!” Was the first thing he said.

 

“Hello!” Once again, they replied in unison.

 

“You seem very jolly.” Guy said, as soon as his brothers left their side to go to their places at one of the tables.

 

“I am indeed, my friend, and you will find out why before this evening is finished.” William replied.

 

Guy nodded his head. “As you wish.”

 

William pointed a seat to his friend, next to his own place at the top of the table. Guy sat down and only when he raised his head did he see her.

 

His blood vanished from his face and felt like his heart dropped to the floor. There she was in all her glory, sitting next to a man he presumed was her father. What if it is her fiancé? Or worse, her husband?

 

He was about to ask his friend if he knew her and if he could give him some more information, when William’s father stood up and raised his voice to gain everyone’s attention.

 

“I’m sorry to interrupt this supper but I have an important announcement to make and I can’t delay it or else I might burst with anxiety.” A few laughs were heard and the old man smiled affectionately at his son. “As you can all see, my son, William, has reached a certain age where men are no longer boys. Which means he has gained the right to his own land, his own responsibilities… his own wife!”

 

A roar of talking voices raised among the lords and the ladies present, but Guy kept looking at Elisabeth, who in turn stared down at her hands. Her dark, brown hair was pulled back in a braid and Guy could see her visibly pale with each word. What was she afraid of?

 

“… that’s correct. And if I may introduce you to his fiancé, soon to be wife… here’s Elisabeth Sutton! My future daughter-in-law.”

 

And just like that, Guy felt his world stop.

 

Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion: Elisabeth standing up, shyly smiling; William making his way to her side, taking her hand and kissing it, as he kneeled in front of her…

 

Just like that, Guy could see his love taken away from him. And there was nothing he could do to stop it.

 

 

The party continued, much to Guy’s misfortune.

 

He couldn’t keep his eyes off Elisabeth, even if she refused to look at him. He saw her talk to her parents and then to William’s mother. And, finally, he saw her stand up and leave the room.

 

He waited a couple of minutes and decided he couldn’t take it anymore. He excused himself from the table, leaving William talking with other two gentlemen and went after her.

 

Luckily, he didn’t have to search for to long.

 

She was sitting on the steps that led to the garden away from the constant movement of the house. He went in her direction, her eyes following his movements all the way.

 

“So, you’re marrying one of my best friends.” He said, straight away, sitting beside her.

 

She looked at him, trying to see what he was feeling. “I didn’t know he was one of your best friends… I guess we’ll see you around the house, then…”

 

Guy glared at her. “No, you won’t.”

 

“Why not?” She asked.

 

“If you think I would willingly go to your house to see how you’re with some other man… for all I care, I would never see your face again.” He looked away as he uttered the last words.

 

Her expression fell with every word he said. “I don’t want that…” She said, softly, daring her eyes to look into his. “Even if I can’t be with you…” She admitted.

 

Guy closed his eyes and put his head in his hands. “Why are you doing this to me?” He mumbled. “Why did you show up now? Why did you have to enter my life like this?”

 

Elisabeth remained silent. She wondered herself about that same problem. She wondered why he came into her life like that, so suddenly and ready to shake her entire foundation. She was safely built on top of good values and never wavered in her principles. She was steady, firm and completely fine, until he showed up and turned her into a frazzled version of her former self. She felt distracted and all over the place.

 

“I am thinking of joining my father’s troops really soon, so I guess you won’t be seeing my face so soon anyway… Just get married and let’s forget we ever kissed.” Guy sighed.

 

“Can you forget that?” Elisabeth asked.

 

“I have no choice.” Guy said, looking at her.”Unless I go behind my friend’s back and cheat on him.”

 

The silence that grew between them seemed to last an eternity when Elisabeth stood up and looked up, watching the moon get brighter and brighter in the darkened sky. “I will write you… I will sign with another name… And you’ll reply to my real name.”

 

With that she left. Nothing else needed to be said. It was mutually agreed that would be their pact, even if no other words were exchanged.

 

He simply watched her as she gracefully walked across the dusty ground, stopping at the entrance, finding the courage to enter a chapter of her life where she was somebody else’s property.

 

Where she was somebody’s wife.

 

 

 

 

 

Running to Stand Still

 

 

Chapter 5

 

 

 

 

 

 

Guy only heard one of the maids quietly entering his room, leaving an envelope and getting out quickly and silently.

 

He opened his sleepy eyes and eyed his night table. Slowly, he extended a hand and picked up the beige-colored envelope, his name on the front of it.

 

Taking the piece of paper out of the envelope, he smelled her perfume. It was not intense and it was almost a gentle breeze that passed by but it was enough to make him long for her presence. Why did he feel like this when he had been twice with that woman? Why was he so suddenly changed from his old ways?

 

 

London, September 24th 1389

 

Dear Guy,

 

Please, firstly, allow me to treat you as an old friend as I write you. Because I can’t tell you my most intimate stories and thoughts if I think of you as someone distant from me. Most of all, I can’t bear to think of you as a mere figment of my imagination.

 

The streets of London feel too crowded for me and I see no familiar faces or even pleasant faces I can share common ground with.

 

I discovered that my husband is going to purchase a new manor house for us to live in, as the one we are currently staying in seems to have some unfortunate malfunctions. I came to know that I will now have a music room for me. I can honestly tell you it’s the most joyful piece of information I’ve had in a long time. Probably since I last saw you in May.

 

Forgive me for the boldness, but I would like to know how your life has been since our last encounter, when you were informed of my impending marriage to Lord Champion.

 

I can’t say what my heart is telling me to right now, for I know it would only make it that much harder for both of us. The only thing I will say is that I miss you and I hope you are well as I write you this.

 

Your friend,

 

Rose Moore

 

 

Guy sighed as he put the paper back inside the envelope. His cheeks got a warm, liquid sensation as his eyes no longer held back his tears. He wanted to reply to her right away. However, he prevented himself from doing it.

 

He waited and waited.

 

His day was spent like every other day. Classes and horse riding occupied his mind even if it was only for a while. His brain was filled with what he wanted to say to Elisabeth.

 

Finally, he found the right time to do it.

 

He knew he couldn’t sign it with his name either, so as not to incriminate either of them. Ever. Might as well invent characters that couldn’t ever be tracked down.

 

Kenilworth Castle, September 29th 1389

 

Dear Elisabeth,

 

I can’t write to you without telling you I haven’t thought in anything else ever since your engagement announcement party other than you. Your eyes, your face, your hands. Your voice.

 

I don’t care if you’re married because I don’t know if I will ever see you as somebody’s spouse. To me, you’re just that girl who would run for miles in a sunny afternoon, not caring about anything else but the rush through your veins and the wind on your face.

 

I haven’t been the same since you left and I think my family is noticing something is deeply wrong with me. I wouldn’t say this to you if it wasn’t for the fact that I can’t keep this inside any longer.

 

And because you are the very first and only person I’ve ever loved. The first and only person I’ve ever kissed. And the one person I won’t be able to stay with because we don’t marry the ones we love. Because we have endless affairs everybody knows about but that won’t ever be legitimate, since it goes against our “Christian” values.

 

I will be better next time and tell you about my days but the lethargic state I’ve been in isn’t such a great tale to bore you with, my dear.

 

I’ll be waiting for your response with an eager spirit.

 

Love,

 

Richard Moore

 

 

Eyeing the paper in front of him, Guy held it up to his mouth and softly kissed her name, put it inside the envelope and handed it to one of the delivery boys of the castle.

 

He sighed and closed his eyes.

 

Please come back soon… he whispered, though nobody heard his plea.

 

 

 

 

Lost

or

Incomplete

Chapter Ten

 

 

Guy never told Will any of what had occurred. He was just his usual self, flighty and distant, and so Will didn't think anything was even wrong. Their daily routine was seemingly unchanged, though Guy was hardly the same as he was before, but he tried his best to hide it. For some reason he felt that telling Will about his life would just create more problems.

 

The shop was sold to an older gentleman by the name of Frank Botterman a mere week after it was put up for sale. Chris had informed the employees of the change, and that they should be able to keep their jobs with the same pay if they pleased. The other workers were happy with that, but Guy wasn't sure if he did want to go back. He didn't care much for Chris, but it wouldn't feel right working there for someone else. And with his personality, Guy was sure to be sacked within days.

 

Chris had left with Jonny for New York as quickly as possible. It seemed that he was itching to put everything behind him and start fresh in a new country. Guy thought it was cowardly of him, but he also wished that he had the ability to do that. Even if he did move to another country, he would not be able to get over Liz's death. It was all he could think about.

 

Ultimately, Guy chose to stay at the garage. This way he knew he would at least have a job for a few weeks. He tried his hardest to be a more prolific worker so that he could continue to work there. And it wasn't even that bad; whenever he felt himself drifting off or slowing down, he would pretend that Liz came into the garage and sat down to watch him. As he worked, he could feel her gaze on his body.

 

It may have been torture to anyone else- to Chris, for example. Chris wouldn't have been able to handle being around there, where Liz had so often existed, knowing that she could never be there again. It would have given him a pain he had never felt before, one that couldn't be erased without leaving everything else behind.

 

But to Guy, it was simple. Every morning as he pulled into the parking lot, he saw Liz smiling at him from the porch of her and Chris's house. It made him feel better.

 

And she often came into the shop to watch him. They never spoke to each other, because there was no need. They could communicate telepathically; as soon as one thought of something, the other knew about it instantly. Guy liked it that way.

 

Then, once his work was finished for the day, he took a drive into town. He would buy a single flower from the florist, then he would go down to the cemetery. He laid the flower on the bare patch of dirt everyday, and as he stood back up he felt Liz's reassuring hand on his shoulder. It was his ritual, but after a relative span of time he wasn't even sure whose grave he was visiting. It was some part of him that had apparently died, but when he felt that touch from Liz he felt complete. What was there to be missing?

 

When he was home alone he daydreamed, picturing the life he and Liz could have had. They wouldn't have married young like she and Chris, but maybe they had met when they were young. High school, even. Maybe they had been good friends, then realized one day that they could be so much more.

 

After a few years of marriage they decided to have children. The first was a beautiful baby girl named Lila, followed by twin boys. Liz wasn't entirely thrilled about having two boys at once, but luckily they were both mild-mannered.

 

They lived in the countryside, making a living by raising livestock. Guy wasn't sure why he had chosen that career path, since it didn't particularly interest him, but it gave them enough money to live a healthy lifestyle.

 

During the warm summer nights, the family dined in the backyard. There was a picnic table set up not far from the porch that they gathered at. Of course, Max and Simon, the twins, had to be set up in high chairs since they were so small. Lila was just barely big enough herself.

 

After dinner, they watched the sunset. Simon liked it the most. He would clap every single time the sky went black. Simon's enthusiasm greatly amused Liz.

 

In the winter, they were confined to the cozy living room. They lit a fire in the fireplace and watched it burn for hours. This time, Max was most entertained.

 

“Maybe we should keep an eye on him later on,” Guy suggested to Liz. Liz tossed back her head and laughed.

 

“Yeah, he might end up as an arsonist or something!” Max laughed, too, though he didn't understand. Lila scrunched up her nose in a skeptical manner.

 

“What does that mean?” she bitterly asked. Lila hated not knowing things. It wasn't really that she had a thirst for knowledge, though, she just didn't like to feel left out. Her sour expression faded as Liz told her the meaning of the word, and after that she had little interest in the rest of the conversation.

 

Guy could not have pictured a more perfect life than this. Sure, there were imperfections that existed, as there should be, but they were minimal compared to those of other possible versions of his life. He had a beautiful wife, three spectacular children, and he was able to make enough money to provide for them, enough to satisfy all of their needs. They never wanted anything, because they had everything they could want.

 

When he went to bed at night, Liz was nearly always already asleep. He would make sure to get there early enough so that he could just lie for a while and watch her. It may have been slightly creepy, but he couldn't help it. He would try to close his eyes and drift off, but there was a tiny fear inside of him that when he woke up it would all be gone, merely a hopeful dream that ended too soon. If he stayed awake just a little longer, he could hold onto his happiness.

 

The End

 

 

Chapter 18

 

 

James was warm. Almost too warm. Frowning, he slowly wiggled his arms free from the confines of the thick red quilt and pulled it down from his shoulders so that it lay haphazardly on his bare stomach. He sighed with relief as the cool air of the room wrapped itself around his newly exposed skin.

 

He opened his eyes for the first time that morning to a bright glare from the single window. That explained the heat. But in the back of his mind he recognized that this was no ordinary sunrise. The sun seemed to pack a greater intensity than it had all winter long. Squinting, he rolled over with difficulty under the heavy blanket to face Guy, something he did every morning without question. But this morning, Guy was not there.

 

James frowned, more deeply this time. That was unlike him. He always followed a specific schedule. And James was also surprised at himself for not noticing Guy's missing presence. He jumped out of bed in a hurry.He could really feel the air on him now, more cold than cool for sure.

 

He quickly dressed in the warmest clothes he could find then headed outside. He was fairly certain Guy wasn't in the house; he hadn't heard any activity. No shuffling of boots on hardwood floors, no clinking of breakfast dishes, and no kettle whistling.

 

But since James was now beginning to doubt his hearing, seeing as Guy had snuck off unnoticed, he truly had just made the decision to check outside based on intuition alone. He just had a feeling Guy would be out there.

 

He trekked through the snow. It wasn't long before his suspicions were confirmed. He noticed another set of footprints and he followed them until he saw Guy. He was sitting in the middle of one of the fields, so far out James could barely make out his form.

 

He quickened his pace and soon Guy was a distinct image in his vision. After what felt like an eternity he reached speaking distance.

 

"What are you doing out here so early?" he asked, panting with the combination of the thin winter air and the rushed pace of his steps.

 

Guy turned to him, slightly surprised. But deep down he knew James would know where to find him, and so he smiled a knowing smile. "Enjoying the scenery," he replied. But his eyes said something more.

 

James sat beside him. "Hah, you always say that. You don't fool me Berryman, I see that twinkle in your eyes. What's so special about this morning?"

 

Guy couldn't help himself. He grinned like a little boy. "Alright fine, you caught me red-handed. I was enjoying," he paused for dramatic effect, "the first signs of spring!" He spread one arm out, gesturing towards the patch of grass that they sat upon.

 

James knew what it was then. He felt embarrassed for having not realized earlier. "Oh.....there's grass!" he exclaimed, genuinely excited by this fact, mainly because he knew Guy was.

 

"Yes, green grass!" Guy exclaimed. "Patches of it all around."

 

They both shared a look then, and burst out laughing, falling back in the newly exposed grass. Neither of them knew the cause of their laughter. Some days were just like this. Unfocused and unplanned and absolutely blithe.

Today they chose to blame it on the coming spring. "We've caught the fever," Guy joked, in higher spirits than James had seen in a while.

 

"It would appear so," James laughed. "Here we are on the ground laughing, without even a morning cup of tea in our systems." He propped himself up on one elbow and feigned a serious frown. "I don't know how much longer I can go on without my daily dose of caffeine."

 

"I'll get right on that," Guy remarked. He laughed again, and the sound rung out like sleigh bells in the frosty air.

 

"On second thought," James replied, "I think I need my daily dose of you first."

He fell on top of him, kissing him hard. "I'm sorry," he whispered between kisses, "but your laughter is the most beautiful sound in all the world. I had to let your lips know, so that they won't ever hesitate to let it out."

 

Guy stared at him with soulful brown eyes. "You are so sweet." He brushed James's unkempt hair out of his face. "But I think I should start on that tea now. Otherwise your stare is going to take all my clothes right off of me."

 

"Would that really be so bad?" James asked, winking.

 

"It would unless you enjoy frostbite. It's still awfully cold out here. Now come on, I could really use a cup."

 

Once inside, Guy filled the kettle and attempted to begin breakfast. But James had something else in mind. "Sit down," he told Guy. "I am going to cook today."

 

Guy frowned and crossed his arms in the thoughtful way that secretly made James weak with desire. "You can cook?" he inquired.

 

"Yes," James replied, "Now sit. And tell me what it is you're thinking about this morning."

 

Guy sat at the small table. "You always know don't you?" he said, with love rather than annoyance. He sighed. "As you can see, spring is just around the corner. And....I want to grow crops again."

 

"Of course you do. You want to raise healthy soybean plants to sell in order to prove to a judge that you can care for Malcolm."

 

Guy smiled at how well James knew him. "Well, you are mostly correct. But...I don't think I want to grow soybeans anymore."

 

"Oh?" James turned around, questions in his eyes. This was one thing he had not expected.

 

"Yeah. I was kind of thinking a great way to make a new start here would be to try my hand at a new type of crop. And I'd have you to help me of course."

 

"That sounds like a lovely idea," James said, pouring the tea just as the whistling of the kettle started up.

 

"You really think so?" Guy asked, unsure. "I thought it might be kind of futile."

 

James rolled his eyes and set a large mug of steaming tea in front of Guy. "Drink your tea," James told him. "Then we can discuss what crop you want to plant."

 

Smiling, Guy wrapped his hands around the mug to warm them, and thought of the way James was just like this mug. So full of warmth and strength which Guy was lucky enough to take in on occasion to give him the energy he needed so desperately.

 

 

-