Chapter 6:"How will I know if it's working... right?"

 

 

We were interrupted by the voice over the loud speaker again. “We’ll be landing in Newark International airport in 20 minutes. Please fasten all seat belts, put up all trays and seats and throw away all garbage. The current time is one thirty nine am. The temperature is eighty two degrees. Please have all International Claims slips ready to be handed to Home Land Security when you are done unloading the plane. Thank you for flying with British Airways!”

“I don’t know how they can be so perky, with having such a long flight.” I said as I sat up.

Chris removed his arm from my shoulder and placed it back at his side quickly as Guy began waking up.

I started getting all of my things packed away and I put the arm rests back down. The cabin lights turned on and everyone starting getting up.

I looked at Chris.

Oh God was I falling for him. I mean, he’s just so perfect.

No. I can’t fall for him; he might only be looking for a friendship.

But at times he doesn’t seem like that’s what he wants; sometimes it seems like he wants more.

Why are guys so complicated?

We were on our way down.

When the plane finally landed I took a sign of relief.

“Whew! That was a nice landing though!” Chris said enthusiastically.

“Yeah, it was very nice actually.” I said as I smiled back at him.

When they opened the door everyone got up and began to walk out. I grabbed my laptop case and my bag, and followed Chris and Guy out.

Chris’s duffle bag was hanging on his shoulder. He waited for me to catch up to him and then he properly introduced me to Guy.

Guy looked really tired, so I didn’t really talk much to him. Chris and I on the other hand were wide awake and excited to finally get into the city!

We walked through customs and then out to baggage claim.

When we arrived there we were greeted by the rest of the people that were traveling with them.

I recognized them now in the light. Chris briefly introduced me to everyone, not only the band was traveling, but also some trusty techs that they decided to take along with them. Will and Jonny were excited to meet me because they were fans of my band and I they said.

I saw my bag on the turnstile and I quickly walked up to it. Chris saw and followed after me.

“Here, allow me.” He said as he swiftly lifted up my bag and placed it on the floor next to us.

Soon everyone had gotten their bags and were ready to go outside.

“I just called the taxi, they’re sending some now.” One of the techs said.

I looked down at the ground; Chris was standing in front of me.

“I guess this is goodbye then.” I said as I looked up to meet his eyes.

“What do you mean? You owe me a lunch and coffee. We will be seeing more of each other!” he said as he placed his hand on my arm.

“I have your number, and you have mine” he added.

“Yeah, I know I owe you that… I just really had a great time with you. I spent the whole day with you, and all we did was talk, it was so great. Nothing’s ever happened like that to me before.” I answered.

He was about to say something before we both heard someone say, “Taxi’s are here. Whoever’s going to the hotel get in the first one, and then whoever’s going somewhere else, go to whatever one.”

“Do you have a ride home?” He asked.

“I do, my car is outside waiting for me.”

“I’ll walk you there.” He said as he grabbed my bag from my hand and wheeled it outside and to the black car that I pointed out.

My Julia got out of the car and ran up to give me a big hug.

“ERIN!” She yelled very loudly.

“JULIA” I smiled brightly and ran up and greeted her with a giant hug.

Julia is my best friend; she stays at my house in New York. She lives there full time. So whenever I come to the city, it’s like having a big sleep over with her. I introduced her to Chris and gave her a look telling her that I’ll explain later.

I asked her if she could pop the trunk and she did as she climbed into the driver’s seat.

Chris and I both approached the trunk and he placed my luggage in the trunk.

We stood there silently, staring at each other.

 

 

Chapter 7:"If you could see it then you'd understand..."

 

 

“Well, I guess this is it.” I said.

“… Erin, can I call you later on today? I really want to see-… I mean hang out with you again.” He answered.

I smiled shyly and nodded my head.

“Yes, that would make me very happy. Goodbye Christopher.” I said as I reached up on my tippy toes to place my arms around his neck, and hug him.

He hugged me very tightly around my waist.

It seemed like we were the only ones there.

I got a fuzzy feeling in my body.

I blushed when I pulled away from him, closed the trunk and climbed into the car. I waved goodbye to him as we drove away; I saw him stand there and watch me.

He soon disappeared behind all of the other cars.

“What was that about Er?!” She said all excitedly as she drove towards the city.

“Oh, nothing, he’s just the best fucking man I’ve ever met. Other than Andrew of course…” I said as I looked out of the window.

“Look, Andrew was a tool, he treated you like shit by cheating on you. He shouldn’t have done that. And I’m happy that you’ve met Chris now, but isn’t he married to that Gwyneth woman or something?” she asked.

“You can’t tell anyone, but they’re getting divorced, it should be finalized any day now!”

“SHUT UP!” she said as she pushed me.

I laughed and explained why.

“Oh wow, that’s some deep shit. How long did you guys talk for?”

“The whole flight and even while we were just sitting on the plane waiting! It was the best conversation I’ve had in my whole life. We never stopped talking. We have so many things in common too! Ughh I swear Jule, it’s like a dream come true…” I replied.

“Just be careful with him Er, I mean he seems like a great guy. And I’m sure he is, just… be careful.” She said.

I rolled my eyes back at her.

“I have some bad news though…” she said as she played with the steering wheel.

“What...” I said as I looked at her. I knew this wasn’t going to be good.

“Andrew is in town.”

I was silent.

“FUCK” I said loudly. Julia didn’t jump, because she knew that’s what my response would be, she was anticipating it.

The rest of the way she updated me on what had been going on with Andrew. She told me how he had gone out with a lot of girls, but hadn’t settled with anyone for a long term relationship. I mean, it’s been a while since the incident, almost a year actually.

“I heard around that he’s been thinking about trying to get in touch with you again. When was the last time he tried to talk to you?”

“About three or four weeks ago I think? He called me on a number that I didn’t know, so I answered it and he was like, ‘It’s so good to hear your beautiful voice again Er…’ or something along the lines of that. I recognized his voice and then hung up on him.”

“Yeah, I remember you calling me after that actually…He hasn’t tried again since that?”

“Well you know he called back a few times after that to see if I’d answer again, but I just ignored them…”

We continued talking until we finally reached the apartment in the Village.

I stepped out of the car and grabbed my bag from the trunk. I carried it up the front stairs and walked inside after Julia opened the door.

“Look I painted the Kitchen the color that we love!” she said excitedly as she placed her car keys on the kitchen counter.

“Oh, I love this color blue!” I responded as I studied the paint job.

“Just wait until you see it during the day time, it’s so pretty with the natural light!”

I promised her that I’d see it first thing when I woke up. I told her that I was going to go to bed and sleep; I was starting to get tired.

We hugged goodnight and gave each other a kiss on the cheek and I headed off upstairs to my bedroom with my bag.

I just placed my bag next to the bed and grabbed a pair of sleep wear from one of my draws.

I got changed, brushed my teeth and climbed into bed.

I couldn’t stop thinking about Chris. Maybe this was more than a friendship. This might be able to blossom into something bigger and better.

 

 

Chapter 8:"All summer, we just hurried, so come over, just be patient and don't worry."

 

 

I soon nodded off though and before I knew it I had awoke to my cell phone ringing on the table next to me. I quickly glanced at the clock and saw that it was nine in the morning.

I got out of bed and answered it.

Oh my God, Chris was calling me.

I collected myself and answered the phone.

“Hello” I mustered out through a yawn.

“Oh, did I wake you up? I’m so sorry!” I heard Chris say on the other line.

“No, not at all, I just yawned! I usually get up around this time anyway; I have terrible sleeping patterns…” I explained.

“Yeah, I do too, especially with all of the time differences. I feel like I’m never really caught up to where I’m supposed to be. I was wondering, I remember you saying earlier that you like to go running sometimes…”

He asked me if I would like to go running with him. The truth is I used to run a lot while I was on tour, I still do, but I don’t really do it consistently.

I agreed to go with him. He asked where I lived and offered to pick me up in an hour, and then after we could go get something to eat. We said goodbye and once I hung up I called Michael, the guitarist in my band and told him to tell the others I would be at the studio by three-ish.

I knew that Danny, the drummer and Matt the Bassist wouldn’t mind. They all enjoy just playing around with instruments in the studio anyway.

I got up and took a quick shower. I put on a headband, running shorts and a tank top. I thought I had forgotten to bring my running shoes, but remembered that I left a pair in my closet here.

I jogged down the stairs to find Julia reading the paper and drinking some coffee.

She tilted the paper so that she could see me and then rolled her eyes.

“Are you seriously going to go running? I thought you only do that when you’re on to-… Wait a second, CHRIS ASKED YOU TO GO RUNNING WITH HIM DIDN’T HE!” She put her coffee cup down and got up.

I laughed and stood there staring at her.

“The color in the kitchen looks really great in the natural light, you were right!” I said nervously trying to change the subject.

She gave me a blank stare.

“…Well, I guess you could say that.” I was blushing a little now.

“Oh! Erin I’m so happy!” She ran over and hugged me.

“We’re just going running as friends!” I reassured her.

I looked over at the clock, it was five to ten.

Just then I heard a knock at the door.

“That must be him!” I whispered to Julia.

I walked over to the door and looked through the peek hole.

He was dressed in black work out pants, running shoes, a white t-shirt and a hat.

I opened up the door to reveal his bright, blue eyes staring up at me as a big smile graced his face.

“Well you look all ready to go!” He said.

“Yes I do, don’t I.” I said as I gleefully studied my workout gear.

“Julia, I’ll be back in a few hours!” I said as I waved goodbye to her and walked out of the house.

Chris and I took the train to Central park, and decided to go running there.

After we finished Chris said that he wanted to take me somewhere.

So he waved down a taxi and had them take us to 6th and 8th. It wasn’t far from my house.

We pulled up to Electric Lady Studios, by now it was about lunch time.

Chris paid the taxi driver and climbed out of the taxi, holding the door open for me to climb out also.

We walked into the studio and were greeted by a big black door. He opened it and we continued up the stairs that were behind it.

We were greeted by a hallway that had six doors; he picked the third on the right to go into.

I followed behind him, and was shocked to see Guy, Will, Jonny and Brian Eno sitting in the studio going over some new material. I looked to my left and found some techs hanging out in the lounge area.

“I’m not allowed to be here for a major part of the process. Brian says I come in with too complete songs, and it leaves no room for improvement, which is true.” He whispered to me with a smile.

“The same thing happens to my band a lot, they just tell me to go out and get coffee or something when they need to work alone.” I whispered back with a little smile too.

 

 

happy birthday, thread :awesome:

Crushed.

 

 

Jonny was sitting on his bed, his back up against the wall. He could barely keep his eyes open for longer than a few seconds at a time. The book in his lap was heavy, the text blurred as his tired eyes lost their focus. His head began to loll to the side.

 

Just then, a rather loud knock on his bedroom door woke him up with a jolt. He looked to the closed door, dazed for a few seconds, then gathered his energy and said, “Come in.”

 

The door flew open and an equally tired-looking Chris was revealed. In his hands he tightly gripped a copy of the same textbook that was taking up space in Jonny's lap. While there were dark circles under his eyes, they were wide and gave Chris and overall frazzled appearance.

 

“Jonny, we are so fucked,” he breathed, sounding absolutely horrified. He took a few frantic steps inside and towards Jonny's location on the bed. “There is no way I can remember any of this shit.”

 

“You're telling me,” Jonny said in a sort of slur. “I've been reading this thing all day and I have no idea what it says.” Chris sighed heavily and sat down at the edge of Jonny's bed. Jonny watched him for a while. “Maybe we'll get lucky and something will happen and the final will have to be postponed or something.”

 

Chris turned, his deep blue eyes landing on Jonny. He smiled. “That would be nice.” An idea flickered across his eyes, and he slowly crawled to where Jonny was sitting. “Hey, maybe if we study together, we can actually get something done.”

 

“That's a good idea,” Jonny agreed as he kept his eyes on Chris's. Chris smiled for a second, then he looked quickly around the room.

 

“I'll go make some coffee,” he said, jumping up from the bed and rushing out of the room.

 

Jonny turned back to his book and tried once again to read its dull and sleep-inducing words. He had managed to read and reread one paragraph roughly eight times before Chris returned, two steaming mugs in his hands. “Here,” Chris said, handing Jonny one of the mugs.

 

Jonny looked up and took the cup from Chris. “Thanks.” He took a sip, but it was a small one; Jonny had never really cared much for coffee. Chris sat close beside him, his knees brought up to his chest. His eyes peered over the words that Jonny had tried to comprehend in Chris's absence.

 

“Well, let's get at it, shall we?”

 

Chris grabbed his own book and flipped open to the same page as Jonny. They alternated reading paragraphs aloud for a while, then they tried to quiz each other on what they had just read. They didn't even know if any of it was going to end up being on the final, but they tried to absorb as much as they could.

 

“Jonny, what time is the final?” Chris asked as he stared down at the watch strapped around his wrist. Jonny looked over at him and thought for a few moments.

 

“I think... I think it's at ten-thirty,” Jonny replied.

 

“Oh, good,” Chris sarcastically said, his eyes still on the watch.

 

“Why?”

 

Chris lifted his eyes to Jonny and twisted up his mouth. “It's already two.” He sighed, closed his book, and stretched a little, careful not to hit Jonny with his long arms. “I think maybe we should get some rest.”

 

“Yeah, I don't really want to fall asleep during the exam,” Jonny said. He closed his book as well, tossing it off the bed and not really caring where it landed. Then he turned to stretch so that his torso was facing Chris. “Goodnight, then...”

 

“Goodnight, Jonny,” Chris said with a tiny smile, and leaned forward and kissed Jonny on the cheek. It was harmless, and he had done it a thousand times before, but suddenly everything felt different. Maybe it was the coffee, or the tiredness, or a combination of the two, but both boys felt it in equal and simultaneous amounts.

 

For a few seconds they just stared at each other, eyes locked and hearts racing. Maybe if they just waited it out, things would go back to normal. But with every second that passed the feeling only intensified, and while their minds were blank their bodies took over, leaning closer to each other without their awareness.

 

Eventually there was no more room for either to move forward, and their lips gently brushed. It was like testing the waters, and as soon as they discovered the temperature was fine, they jumped right in. Chris brought his hands up and cupped them under Jonny's jaw; he was running on instinct, only doing what he did because it was what felt right. It was the same with Jonny, whose hands slid around Chris's sides to pull him closer. The two stayed like that for a long time.

 

- - -

 

“I still don't think I'm ready for this,” Chris said as he watched Jonny shove a slice of toast into his mouth. Chris was far too anxious to eat, his acidic stomach making him feel nauseous from just the sight of food.

 

“Yeah, me neither,” Jonny agreed through a mouthful of bread. He remembered what manners were and finished chewing before he spoke again. “But think of it this way, one more exam and that's it. We're done. Then we can finally focus entirely on the band.”

 

“Yeah, the band...” Chris drew a sharp breath, and his nervousness increased. “Which... reminds me... um, I think that maybe we should talk. About what happened last night.”

 

“Oh.” Jonny looked down at his plate. Judging by Chris's tone, this talk wasn't going to be a pleasant one. “Yeah, of course.”

 

“We... we can't.” Jonny had been expecting it. And though Chris sounded exasperated, it didn't help. “We can't be together.”

 

“Right. Wouldn't want to jeopardize the band.” Jonny kept looking down, trying to hide his disappointment. It wasn't working.

 

“Well... well, yeah, but it's not just that. You know, you're my best friend, Jonny. You're the only person in the world I feel comfortable enough with to tell everything to. And so you know me better than anyone else does. You know what my dating history is like...” Chris sighed and folded his hands on the table. “Every relationship I've ever been in has ended badly, and it's always because I go and screw everything up. I don't want that to happen with us.”

 

“It doesn't have to happen,” Jonny said. He looked at Chris and tried to pull off his best persuasive tone. “Maybe it would work out fine.” Chris nodded a little, but he didn't look too convinced.

 

“I know. There's a chance that nothing will go wrong, but it seems like such a big risk to take. And I-” Chris stuttered for a few moments. He unfolded his hands and tapped his fingers on the surface of the table. “I love you, Jonny. You mean more than anything to me. So, I would much rather we just stay friends, and I won't have to worry about losing you. Even if that means always having to wonder...”

 

“Friendship doesn't always last forever, either,” Jonny quietly said, his last desperate attempt to change Chris's mind. But he knew it still wouldn't do anything. Chris looked at him with a sad expression, and he reached across the table and placed his hand over Jonny's.

 

“I wish I didn't feel this way- I wish we could be together, I mean, because I do l-love you, I really do. And we would be so perfect together, I know it.” Chris stared longingly at Jonny for a few brief moments. Then he slowly pulled his hand back. “But I'm just too afraid. I'm sorry.”

 

“It's OK,” Jonny said in a low voice, though only a tiny part of him felt that way. Eventually, he would get over it. “I think maybe we should get going now.”

 

Chris wanted to say more, wanted to apologize again and again, but Jonny stood up and left the room too quickly for him to do anything more than inhale. But that was the way it had to be, and Chris knew he could never change that.

 

 

 

Part 7

 

 

“My mum's gonna know,” Chris suddenly said. We were holding hands as we walked towards his house, and I had a feeling that his fingers were squeezed tighter than mine were. He was still rather tense. “If she doesn't already know.”

 

“You think she would already know?” I asked. Sure, his mum had seemed to be quite... intuitive, but it sounded a bit far-fetched. Chris ducked his head a little, no doubt blushing.

 

“I talked to my sister about you a few days ago,” he sheepishly replied. “She's a good kid, but she sometimes has a big mouth.” Something about the idea of Chris liking me enough to talk to someone else about it, someone he wasn't even sure he could trust entirely, made me feel very warm and I cracked a smile.

 

“If she does know, maybe it won't be so bad,” I suggested. “Because, you know, then obviously if she hasn't said anything to you there's nothing to worry about. Right?”

 

“I suppose.” I could see Chris turn his head towards me, and he just stared at me for a while. If it had been anyone else, I would have felt uncomfortable. I hate it when people stare at me. Then suddenly he smiled- beamed, actually, and I decided that I needed to see it, because his smile is just far too lovely to be missed. “I really like you, Jonny.”

 

“I really like you, too.” And neither of us said another word until we reached his house.

 

In the front yard, there was a girl standing, staring at the ground with a kickball in her hand, her long and curly hair flowing over her shoulders. She must have heard us walking, because she picked her head up and looked over in our direction. If she had kept her eyes on us long enough, I'd have probably flipped.

 

But she didn't; as soon as she saw us, her eyes lit up, and she ran towards the house at top speed, shouting, “CHRIS HAS A BOYFRIEND! CHRIS HAS A BOYFRIEND!”

 

“Anita!!” Chris shouted after her, but she ignored him and flung the front door open, still screaming. It was hard to tell whether he was angry or embarrassed, at least it was at first. When I looked at him again he was definitely more embarrassed, his cheeks bright red, but his heavy breath was starting to come back. Even through just his fingers I could feel that his pulse was a bit fast.

 

Chris started to walk away a little, but our hands were still together and so he ended up pulling me along. Once he reached the edge of the sidewalk he sat down, like I had seen him do outside of the school several times.

 

“See? I told you she has a big mouth,” he said, breathily, but he laughed as well. He brought his other hand to our interlocked ones, just holding my hand in his for a while until we heard footsteps approaching.

 

I turned around to see the most identical group of people I had ever seen in my life. There were four of them, and they all had the same light-colored, curly hair, and big eyes, all of which were pointed at Chris and myself. The tallest one was a girl, the same girl who had been standing in the yard, and she was now standing in front of us, turned to the other children and grinning smugly.

 

“I told you so!” she said to the other children, who all gasped and oohed. “Chrissy has a boyfriend!”

 

“Ooh, he is cute!” the other girl said (she couldn't have been more than eight years old), walking around to my side. I looked at Chris helplessly, and he just gave me the same look in return. Then he turned to face his brothers and sisters.

 

“Guys, does this look like a sideshow to you? Go back inside,” he commanded. The three younger children huffed, but they all did as they were told and walked away. Anita stayed behind.

 

“You can't tell me what to do, Chris, you're not my mother or anything,” she said to him. Chris rolled his eyes, and suddenly Anita looked as though she'd been hit with an idea. “Speaking of mum...”

 

She ran away again, and as I turned to Chris I thought I saw an envious look flash across his face for a few seconds. Then he nervously smiled and said, “I guess we will see what my mum thinks, huh?”

 

“Yeah,” I said. Chris bit his lip and anxiously watched his house. After a few seconds, something inside of me brought my hand up to his chin and pulled him in a bit, and I figured that I might as well keep it going and kiss him. It didn't last long, because I didn't want the same thing to happen that had happened by the lake.

 

Chris took one of his hands and curled his fingers around my neck, pressing our foreheads together. He smiled, and for a few seconds we stayed like that, until his mother stopped behind us and cleared her throat. I had expected Chris to look up at her, but he didn't; instead, he pulled back, but not too far, and as he hand released from my neck, he tapped my nose with his finger.

 

“Hi, mum,” he said, shifting only his eyes to the side.

 

“Hello, Chris,” she responded, not sounding too enthused. “Would you boys like to come inside for a few minutes?”

 

I immediately hopped to my feet, helping Chris get up as well, even if maybe he didn't really need help. We followed his mum inside the house, past various rooms, and into the kitchen. The three of us sat down at the small table in the room, Chris and I on one side and his mum on the other. She stared at us thoughtfully for a few moments before she finally spoke.

 

 

 

Part 8

 

 

“Chris, I want you to be happy,” his mother said. “All I have ever wanted was for you to be happy, and healthy.” She paused, took a deep breath. “And so I need to know that you can handle this. I personally have no problem with the two of you dating or whatever, and I'm sure your father won't mind either. I am worried about other people- people at your school, for example. You know they won't take to this kindly.”

 

Chris turned to me, looking very apprehensive. “I didn't think about that.”

 

“You think people are gonna say shit to us? Oh, sorry,” I said to his mum as I realized that I had just cursed. And, of course, I had to be the perfect gentleman and impress her, otherwise she might not be too keen to let us be together.

 

“People might do more than just say things to you,” she said. “And I don't think Chris is in a condition where he can deal with it.”

 

“We don't have to tell people,” Chris said, still looking at me. “At school, they don't have to know. Right?”

 

“Yeah. I mean, I don't really care who knows,” I replied, “but if it makes this easier... Yeah.”

 

“Well then it's settled!” Chris beamed. He threw his hands up and turned to his mother. “We're not going to tell anyone. There won't be anything to deal with.”

 

“And I certainly hope it's that easy for you,” she said to him. Clearly she was not as enthused about the idea as he was. But she seemed to agree. My eyes wandered around the room and I suddenly realized, upon gazing at the clock, that I needed to return home.

 

“Hey, Chris, I've got to go now,” I said to him. For a few seconds he looked sad, but then he quickly smiled and leaned forward a bit.

 

“I'll miss you,” he whispered, then we shared a quick kiss and I stood up.

 

“I'll miss you, too,” I said. “Tomorrow morning, I'll walk with you to school.” Chris's eyes lit up and he nodded.

 

“Sounds great.” I smiled at him, then said goodbye once more and began to leave. Chris and his mother started talking again before I reached the door, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Probably boring, family-related things. Or what they were having for dinner.

 

Then, as I walked down the side of the road, I thought about what my mum would be making, if she had even planned anything. It seemed like lately she had been too busy doing whatever else she was doing to care about home, or me. For the first time in my entire life, I felt like I was living completely on my own.

 

It made it easier to deal with everything knowing that I had Chris, even when we had been just friends. It was nice to know that I wasn't actually alone. And now that he had told me about his heart problems, it kinda put things in perspective for me. I could have had it a lot worse.

 

So my parents are unfaithful to each other and they neglect me. At least I'm alive and well.

 

I had been planning on my mother being home when I arrived. Yet, deep down I think I expected her not to be, and I was right. The house was completely silent when I walked in, and everything was turned off. I decided to make my own dinner, because I couldn't be sure when she would come home. I wasn't far from being an adult, anyway, so I figured that I should get used to doing things for myself. Of course, that was before I nearly burned the house down.

 

Luckily, I stopped the fire before it actually started spreading, and I certainly learned something from my experience; if you are boiling water and some spills over the side, it's not the end of the world, and you definitely shouldn't try drying the side of the pot off while the stove is still lit.

 

Roughly ten minutes later, I was seated at the kitchen table with a large bowl of spaghetti in front of me. Of course, I had to get up again because I had forgotten to grab a fork as well. I really hoped that I could get this stuff down in time.

 

After a few forkfuls of pasta were shoved into my mouth and down my esophagus, the door opened and my mum casually walked in. She set a few things down on the table and walked over to the stove.

 

“Sorry I was late- oh, you made dinner yourself, button?” She turned around; my mouth was still stuffed with food, so I just grunted my reply. “Well, aren't you a big boy now?”

 

“Yeah...”

 

I went back to eating, and I heard my mum sigh. Then she sat down across from me and stared. “Oh my, you really are, huh? You're going to be all grown-up soon.” She sounded like she was crying, or starting to. I didn't really feel like dealing with her.

 

“I have a boyfriend,” I told her, without looking up at all, though I could tell what her reaction was. She just sat there, her eyes opened a little wider than normal, her head tilted to the side. The look in her eyes said that she wasn't upset or anything, just a little thrown off. I quickly glanced up to see that I had been right. “His name is Chris.”

 

“Is that the boy you were telling me about the other day?” she calmly asked. “The one whose house you were at?”

 

“Yeah,” I said. “Maybe tomorrow you could meet him or something. If you come home in time.”

 

She frowned at me with sad eyes. I still felt just a little angry with her. “I would love to meet him.”

 

 

Chapter 9: "My song is love."

 

 

“Like I said before, we don’t have any of our instruments now, so we’re just listening to things that we’ve already been working on.”

Just then Guy spotted me and gave me a dirty look. I was a little shocked.

I looked away from him quickly and felt unwanted there.

Will then noticed me and cheerfully gave me a welcoming smile, as did Jonny, when Jonny looked away though, he looked a little bothered.

I felt uncomfortable.

“I’m going to go wait out in the hallway…” I said quickly as I darted out of the room.

I stood there looking at the ground.

Chris followed quickly behind me.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” He asked concerned.

I didn’t want to tell him that Guy and Jonny gave me odd looks.

Guy’s was the worst though.

I don’t know why he would have done that.

“Nothing… I’m just a little hungry. I think I’m going to head home now.”

“No! I want to be with you for a little while longer...” He pleaded with me to stay with him.

“I haven’t had this much fun in years.” He admitted to me.

I looked at him.

“Would you like to come with me to get something to eat then?” I said with a friendly smile, “I’d like it if you joined me.”

He eagerly agreed to go with and we were soon out on the street walking towards my favorite little place to get lunch in the Village.

I walked in and the girl, Maddie behind the counter, greeted me with a hug. It was a small little restaurant, but I had been going there for years, and the people all know me there. Andrew and I used to come out to lunch here almost every other day if we could…

Once we sat down, we were bought menus.

Chris opened his up and started glancing through it.

“So what do you normally get here?” he asked.

“Well I usually get the toasted pita bread sandwich with celery, carrots, tomatoes, olives, cheese, basil and chicken. Then I get a Dr.Pepper to go with it.” I explained how they made the best sandwiches in the whole city.

He tried to argue with me on it, but then said that he would have to try one to agree with me.

Soon the waitress came over and asked what we would like.

“I’ll take a Dr.Pepper, and the Salad in a sandwich with extra olives please.” I said as I looked at Chris waiting for him to order.

“Yeah, I’ll take the same thing as her, but would you be able to put American cheese in there too?” He asked with a friendly smile.

“Absolutely!” She said as she smiled, took our menus and walked away.

“Do you take a lot of people here?” He asked shyly as he took his hat off and placed it on the chair next to him.

“Well, I tell people about it, but I never really take them here. It’s kind of like my greatest kept secret.” I answered.

“Why’d you take me here then?”

Crap.

I wanted to say, “Because I like you and I wanted you to eat good food with me.”

But I couldn’t.

“I wanted to show you a good place by the studio to get lunch at!” I said instead.

“Ahhh, I see…” he said a little let down.

I think he was expecting me to say something else.

The waitress soon came back with our drinks.

I sipped mine.

Just then my phone started ringing.

Julia was calling me.

“Hello” I answered.

“ERIN!” She said a little stressed out.

“WHAT?” I was starting to get worried now.

 

 

Chapter 10: "This is a call to arms, to live, and love, and sleep together."

 

 

“ANDREW IS ON HIS WAY TO CORNELIAS”

Fuck, that’s where I am right now.

I looked around frantically.

“Shit, I’m here with Chris right now! When did you hear about this?” I said as I caught Chris giving me a concerned look.

“About a minute ago, my friend just texted me telling me that he’s headed there right now and he wants to talk to you!”

“How the hell did he find out that I was here?”

“I have no idea.”

I rested my head on my hand as I thought quickly about what to do.

“I’ll call you back soon Jule, I have to think of something.”

We said goodbye and I hung up the phone.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay? Is everything alright?” Chris said really concerned by now.

“Andrew is on his way here. I don’t want to see him; I don’t want him to see me here with you either.” I finally responded.

“Why wouldn’t you want him to see me?”

“I don’t want to see him, at all. I haven’t seen him since the day when I called it all off…” I said as I started to feel really uneasy.

He saw that I didn’t want to stay.

“Here, come on, I’ll go ask them to wrap up the food really fast, and we’ll take it back to my place and eat.” He got up and placed his hand on my shoulder and he pulled out my chair for me to get up. I got up and followed him to the counter as we got our food.

I started to get out my money, but he placed his hand on my hand and pushed it away. “I’ve got this.” He said with a comforting smile.

I said thank you and smiled back.

Once we had the bag I said goodbye and I grabbed Chris’s arm and quickly bought him with me out of the restaurant. We were half way down the street when I saw Andrew burst into Cornelia’s. I pointed it out to Chris and he gave me a shocked look.

“I thought you may have been overreacting, but damn.”

“I told you I didn’t want to be there, I don’t want to face him Chris…” I said.

“Here, let’s go back to my place. He doesn’t know where that is.” he said as he comforted me by placing his arm around me and hugging me from the side as we walked down the street towards his house.

We soon arrived there and he opened up the door and held it open for me to enter first.

I looked around. When you first walk in there’s a living room, and then a kitchen that opens up to a dining room. For a guy, he has the place decorated very well I must say.

I saw that he had some of his children’s toys spread out in the corner.

“Let’s eat these sandwiches now, I need to see if this is the best thing that I’ve ever had in my life.” He said as he opened up the bag and took them out.

“What would you like to drink?” he asked as he opened up his fridge, “I haven’t really had a chance to go shopping yet, I just went to the corner store and picked up some drinks and snacks really.”

Typical guy. I thought to myself.

“I have Coke!” he exclaimed excitedly as he turned around with a big bottle of Coke in his hands.

I laughed and said that that would be fine.

“Here, come sit at the table!” he said as he pulled out a chair for me to sit at.

He sat across from me and opened up his wrapped sandwich.

He studied it for a little while.

“Oh, would you just bite into it already!” I said as I took a big bite out of mine.

He raised his eyebrow at me a grinned.

“Here goes nothing…” He said as he took a bite out of it.

 

 

Chapter 11: "With grace in your heart, and flowers in your hair."

 

He chewed for a while, and I could see the expressions on his face change every few seconds.

Till he finally swallowed and said, “That’s the best fucking sandwich I have ever eaten.”

“YES! I told you! Damn, I should have bet you before you ate it…”

“Well, how about we do this. Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do then. As if we bet before I tasted the sandwich?” he said excitedly.

I wanted to tell him to kiss me.

But you know, that might be a little rushed.

“hmmm…” I thought aloud as I rested my elbow on the table and tapped my finger against my lips.

“Well, I’ll leave you to thinking about that while I finish eating this amazing sandwich.” He said as he took another bite into it.

We both laughed and soon were both done eating.

“That was delicious.” Chris said after a burp.

“Excuse me…” he said nervously.

I just looked at him and rolled my eyes.

I got up and started collecting all of the garbage.

“What are you doing?” he asked puzzled.

“…Errm, just cleaning up, why?” I said.

“No, you’re not; I’m going to clean up!” He said as he jumped up and took the garbage from me and went over to the kitchen to throw it out.

“Thank you cleaning up then” I said as I was still standing next to the table.

“Would you like to go for a walk now?” he asked excitedly.

Of course I wanted to go for a walk, hell, I’d go anywhere with him.

“Of course I would love to go for a walk with the lovely Mr. Christopher!” I said as I walked over towards him to put the bottle of Coke back in the fridge.

“After you Madame.” He said as he walked over to the front door and opened it.

I briskly walked out with a big smile on my face.

We walked down the street, and just walked whatever way we wanted.

We talked about a lot of things.

He finally asked something that I knew was going to be asked, but I was hoping it wasn’t…

“Why were you so nervous about seeing Andrew back there?”

I took a deep breath.

“Do you still have feelings for him…?” he added quietly.

“No, no, not at all… It’s just odd, you know, seeing someone who you thought you’d spend your whole life with, who you gave all your trust too, and cared about more than anything at one point in your life; catch them cheating on you, and then never speak to them again. It kind of ended pretty quickly between us. I could never forgive someone who cheated on me though, because I have trust issues…” I explained.

“So you were afraid of confronting him after all that time and having all of those emotions from that day come back?” he said.

I stopped walking and looked at him. He noticed and stopped too.

“That’s exactly what I mean.” I said in a whisper.

He walked closer and gave me a hug.

“It’s okay, everyone deals with things differently. I mean, one day you might have to face him, but you have to keep in mind that you’re over him, and that someday, someone will love you so much, that they’d never cheat on you or hurt you in anyway… And also I’ll be right there with you if you need me.”

I wanted to tell him that I think I need someone like himself in my life right now.

He pulled back after he noticed a photographer across the street.

“That bloody bastard had to have been following us.” He said upset.

“Let’s go this way!” I said as I quickly grabbed his arm and turned the corner.

The photographer shouted something and about six more of them followed after him.

They were running after us.

We shot down another street.

“Quick, in here!” Chris said as he pulled me into a building.

We stood behind the door as we watched the photographers run past the store.

“Well, thank God we went running this morning, eh?” Chris said with a laugh.

“I guess it does pay!” I giggled, “Where are we anyway?”

“I think it’s some sort of book store…” Chris said as he looked at the sign on the door.

I turned around and saw Ben Goldwasser sitting down reading a book.

Andrew’s best friend and other band member.

My face turned white.

Chris noticed and was silent.

“…Erin…” Ben asked as he lowered his glasses to see if it was really me.

“…Ben…” I said as I uncomfortably cleared my throat.

 

 

Chapter 12: "And the ocean, and sun are always there, to make you happy if you're feeling scared of the darkness."

 

 

I didn’t know what to do.

Ben just stared at me, like he didn’t know what to say to me either.

I haven’t seen him since the whole thing happened also.

“You changed your hair color.” He said as he got up and placed his book down on the chair.

He walked over towards me.

“Yeah…” I said as I rubbed the back on my neck.

“Who’s this?” he asked bringing his attention to Chris.

Chris extended his hand for a handshake.

“I’m Chris Martin, from Coldplay, nice to meet you… errm, Ben.” He said as Ben took his hand and shook it cautiously.

“I see… I’m Ben Goldwasser, from MGMT,” he looked at me, “Andrew is in the band too.” He stated the obvious.

I started to feel really hot and uneasy.

“Who’s Jackie?” I blurted out.

I couldn’t hold it back much longer.

Ben obviously knew what I was talking about but didn’t say anything.

“Why don’t you just ask Andrew yourself?” He asked as he looked down at his watch.

“He should be here in five minutes…”

I looked at Chris with the same uneasy worried look that I gave him back at the restaurant.

“We really should be going now.” Chris said breaking the awkward silence.

“Are you guys dating?!” Ben asked shocked.

Chris and I just looked at each other.

“Goodbye Ben. Tell Andrew I said to leave me alone.” I said to him as I turned around and quickly exited the bookstore, with Chris right behind me.

Once I got outside I started running in the opposite direction for about three blocks.

I finally stopped when I got to an ally.

I was gasping for air as I fell to the ground and started sobbing.

Chris was soon right behind me.

“Erin!” he exclaimed as he bent down to see if I was alright.

“Are you alright!?” He asked concerned.

I kept crying as I looked into his eyes.

“Oh God.” he said as he kneeled down and placed my head on his shoulder as he hugged me and petted my hair.

“I … I don’t want to see him Chris. I don’t… I … I just can’t do it.” I sobbed.

“Shhhhh, it’ll be okay” he kept saying as he pet my hair and my back.

I slowly calmed down.

I backed away from him.

He placed his hand gently on my face and wiped away the tears from my eyes.

I closed them, and just took a deep breath.

“Do you like ice cream?” He asked.

I smiled up at him and said yes.

“Let’s go get ice cream then!” He said as he stood up first and then extended his hand to help me up.

I stood up and brushed myself off.

“Was Ben always that rude and awkward towards you?” he asked as we walked in the direction of the ice cream store.

“No, never, we used to be best friends, and then the whole thing happened and he decided to stay with Andrew, which I think is fair enough, he’s known him for longer and he also is in a band with him… He just always has wanted us to be together, no matter what Andrew had done to me.” I said as I fixed my hair.

“Ahhh, I see then. I swear, one day when I meet Andrew, I’m going to give him a big piece of my mind.” Chris said with anger as he clenched his fist that was down by his side.

I couldn’t believe he actually said that.

At least I know he cares about me now.

We reached the ice cream store and I ordered a coffee, sugar cone. Chris got a chocolate cone with rainbow sprinkles. He would.

 

 

Lovely title design courtesy of Brooke :)

 

Chapter 1

 

 

Guy wiped the sweat from his brow. He removed his straw hat and ran his hands through his equally sweaty hair. These last few days in August before the harvesting were always the hardest. Out here on the endless plains of Kansas there were no trees to shade a person from the scorching heat.

 

Guy recalled a time when his younger brother had invited him over to his house for a swim. It was more of a mansion than a house, really. He was a rich business man. And his pool certainly emphasized that. It was a huge, in ground structure that even included a waterfall. Guy wished he were there now.

 

But he quickly shook those thoughts out of his head. His brother invited him over all the time. But Guy figured he was just trying to rub his riches in Guy’s face. He knew that Guy couldn’t just up and leave the farm whenever. The soybean crop needed care. At this time of year, it needed watering. Twice a day, no exceptions.

 

The second watering was what Guy had just completed, and now he could finally go back to his humble quarters and relax. As he walked up the dusty, narrow path to his home, he reflected on his life. It wasn’t his fault he was like this. No one asks to be a poor farmer barely making enough money to feed himself.

 

Guy’s brother had just gotten lucky. He happened to be in the right place at the right time. Not everyone got to be that lucky. Guy’s father had been a farmer, as had his grandfather, and Guy felt certain his great grandfather had been one as well. And he was following the same pattern.

 

Though it was harder now for Guy than it had been for any of his ancestors. The horrible, dry conditions of the past few summers had continually produced small and shriveled soybean crops for Guy. He had to work extraordinarily hard to get any harvest at all.

 

But his brother hardly had to work at all. All he had to do was show up at a few board meetings and get paid by the millions. This frustrated Guy to no end. Why should some people do all the work and get so little of the credit?

 

He had almost reached his house when he noticed a car driving down the narrow country road. The road was a good quarter of a mile out and Guy could barely make out the car. But he saw the large cloud of dust that trailed behind it. He followed the cloud with his eyes until it took a sudden sharp turn and veered off the main road and onto the narrow road that led to Guy’s home, where Guy stood watching.

 

Now Guy looked back and could see the front of the car. It was red and shiny, even through the layer of dust that now caked it. Guy stopped in the middle of the road and turned around to face the car. He crossed his arms and frowned as the car slowly came to a stop.

 

One shiny door opened to reveal two shiny black shoes. Out of the car came a man, tall in stature and dressed in an expensive gray suit. He walked with an air of importance that made Guy want to recoil in disgust.

 

The man stopped mere inches from Guy. He crossed his arms and his poise mirrored that of Guy’s. Both stood there, arms crossed, sizing up the other, with chins held high and stares that could kill. The man’s well polished shoes nearly touched Guy’s muddy working boots.

 

“What’s your business here?” Guy said. He spit out the words like he would a foul tasting meal.

 

The man gave a sneer and turned up his nose. “I’ve invested quite a bit of cash in the soybean crop this season. And I was told that yours was the best crop around. So here I am.”

 

“Well I’m glad to hear about all the money you’ll be making off of me,” Guy shot back. “But I’m sure you could’ve just sent me a letter if you wanted to brag.”

 

“What I want,” the man snarled, leaning in even closer to Guy, “is to see how your crop is doing. I’m not going to take a bunch of hillbilly farmers’ words for it, including yours.”

 

Guy could feel his cheeks turning red. They always gave him away when he was angry. Not that he had been trying to hide that at all. He wanted to smack the man silly. But he knew that with a rich snob like this man it would probably result in a lawsuit instead of a harmless fist fight. And that was one thing he certainly didn’t want.

 

So he swallowed his pride and responded between clenched teeth. “Right this way,” he said.

 

The clean cut business man followed him back down the old dirt path and to the muddy rows of soybean plants. The man clearly didn’t appreciate all of the walking and all of the dirt and mud, and Guy couldn’t help but be pleased by this. He led him to the muddiest stretch of field and stopped.

 

It wasn’t really all that muddy, though. With the lack of rain as of late, mud was a rarity. But it still seemed to bother the man enough. He kept looking at his scuffed up shoes with distaste. Guy smiled smugly.

 

“Well, here is my crop. As you can see, they are grown in the ground, and they have stems and leaves and everything.” Sarcasm dripped from his voice like a leaky faucet.

 

“They’re awfully short,” the man said.

 

Guy laughed. “They’re soybeans, what do you expect? They only get to be three feet at the most. Maybe you should learn a little about your product before you invest in it.”

 

“I know enough to see that this crop is weak and without promise. If this is the best Kansas has to offer, I think I’ll take my business elsewhere next time.”

 

Guy couldn’t stand it anymore. His face was red hot with fury. This man was the most insulting, disrespectful human being he had ever come in contact with. He turned around and punched him square in his arrogant little face.

 

 

Will, you're always wrong.

[i can't put it in spoiler, because it goes all vertical]

 

 

Part 9

 

 

The air felt cold when I walked out of my house the following morning. It was not so surprising, since it was now autumn, and that's what usually happens around this time of year. It gets colder.

 

But this morning felt a little different. I wasn't sure quite how, but something lingered around and produced an eerie sort of mood. Maybe it was that for the first time in a while, my mum hadn't left before I had. She was still sitting at the table when I set off for school.

 

“Have a great day, button,” she smiled at me as I opened the door. I stood still for a while, not sure whether or not I wanted to acknowledge her. In the distance there was some sort of alarm ringing. It wasn't something that occurred very often, and it sounded really high-pitched and frighteningly urgent.

 

“I wonder what that is,” I dully said. I heard my mum stand up and walk behind me.

 

“Sounds like sirens,” she carelessly replied. “Did you hear me, button?”

 

“Yeah. You too, mum.”

 

“And don't forget to bring back that boy of yours, yeah? I want to make sure my son is in good hands,” she added, lightly patting me on the back. I turned to her, and I found myself wishing that I was five again, that my parents were both here and smiling and giving me presents. If we could have done it over again, maybe we'd be a better family- only, then I imagine I wouldn't be with Chris. Six of one, I suppose.

 

“I don't need anyone to take care of me,” I coldly told her, and with that I left. I didn't even bother to see what her reaction was.

 

It took roughly five minutes for me to have even one thought that was not even remotely related to my mum or my dad or anything like that. It's wasn't such an important thought- I had only wondered whether or not I had gym that day. I couldn't remember.

 

Then I went back to thinking about how my mum had stayed home. For a few brief moments I wanted to believe that everything had returned to normal, and that my mum would stop sneaking around with whoever, but I knew it wasn't true. My family would never be a regular and happy one, but that was just the way things were.

 

I was watching my feet as I walked, until I suddenly realized that I was drawing closer to Chris's house, and that the strangely high-pitched alarms my mum and I had heard earlier were louder now than ever before. I looked up, and my heart immediately sank.

 

Ambulances. Of course, that's where the sirens were coming from- one ambulance, actually, parked a bit down the road from where I stood. A few people in dark blue uniforms were pushing a stretcher through the back doors, and several feet away from them stood a woman, bawling her eyes out.

 

“Mrs. Martin?” I called out, my voice shaky and cracked. She looked up at me with bloodshot eyes, and I soon found myself pulled tightly in her embrace.

 

“Jonny, Jonny,” she repeated several times. “I tried to wake him up this morning, but he wouldn't... His heart was beating so fast, and I called them... Then they lost his pulse, they lost it!! But they... paddles... and they brought it back, they brought his heartbeat back and...”

 

“Excuse me, ma'am?” one of the paramedics yelled. I pulled back and faced the man myself. “If you're coming, we're leaving now.”

 

For a few seconds she gaped at them, then quickly turned to me. “Jonny, please, promise me you'll go to school and not worry. I'll contact you later.”

 

“All right,” I croaked, and I think even she knew that I was lying. There was now way for me to not think about this, and obviously it would be impossible not to worry once I thought about it. And as for going to school, well, all I really wanted to do was run home and cry. Tears were already running down my face more readily than they ever had before in my life.

 

And then I thought that it wouldn't have been such a bad idea. I waited until the ambulance pulled away, and then waited another few minutes just in case. Chris's dad came along in his car and picked up his other four children, then quickly drove off. We might have exchanged a few words, but I couldn't remember. Everything was hazy.

 

I blinked, and suddenly I was at my own front door. I hadn't expected my mum to still be there, but I turned around to see that her car was still in the driveway. There wasn't any time to lose.

 

“MUM!” I yelled as soon as I stepped inside. Within seconds she was in the room, a worried expression strewn across her face.

 

“What is it?” she asked, walking over to me as fast as possible.

 

“I need you to take me to the hospital.”

 

“Oh my, are you all right?” Her hands rested on my shoulders, and she started scanning my face, searching for some sort of injury. “What happened?”

 

“I-It's Chris,” I told her. “Chris is in the hospital, and I need to see him.”

 

“Well, what about school?” she asked in a dreadfully motherly tone. “Jonny, you can't just miss a day, you're already failing several of your classes-”

 

“Mum, please!!!” I begged, a fresh batch of tears leaking from my eyes. “Please. I need to know he's all right.”

 

I could see the pain in my mum's eyes as she looked at me. Slowly, she nodded her head. “I'll get the keys, you put your stuff in your room and go on out to the car.”

 

Then I ran to my room as quickly as my legs would carry me, and haphazardly threw my bag through the door, not caring where it landed or what it hit. I bolted outside. My mother was already sitting in the car, and if I had been the one driving I would have taken off before I even shut the door. But she waited until I had properly sat in, buckled the seat belt and everything.

 

The car couldn't seem to move fast enough, and I found myself anxiously and impatiently tapping my foot against the carpeted floors as we crawled our way down the road.

 

 

 

Chapter 2

 

 

Time seemed to crawl by at a snail’s pace as Guy brought his arm back towards his body and uncurled his tightly clenched fist. Pain screamed out from his knuckles, as if they were his mother telling him what a foolish boy he was being, picking a fight with the playground bully.

 

The man staggered back a little, but steadied himself. Blood trickled down from his nose. He wiped it away with his left hand and then smeared it on his crisp black pants. Guy opened his mouth in shock. He now suspected that this snobbish man was quite unlike all other businessmen he had ever known. His suspicions were confirmed when the man used his right hand to return Guy’s gesture.

 

His aim was true, and there was so much force in his fist that Guy was knocked to the ground. Of course, this was partially because a returned punch was the last thing Guy had anticipated from this man. But now, temporarily removing all stereotypes from his mind, Guy thought of nothing but the fight at hand.

 

He jumped back on his feet and swiftly punched the man in the stomach. He doubled over and fell. But he was tough. Guy had been taught by his father how to be strong and fight for himself. But even Guy could admit this man was tough. He could see it in his eyes as they fought.

 

And fight they did. The man managed to drag Guy back down to the ground to get him within a good distance for a return attack. His fist connected with Guy’s jaw and Guy felt the impact of it vibrate throughout his entire head. Blindly, he swung his own fist around and made contact with the man’s broad shoulder.

 

The fight continued for some time. By the time they had finally worn themselves out, it was near dusk. They’re bodies were bruised and aching, But neither of them had any serious injuries. They were both good fighters who fought a good battle. But now, lying on the muddy ground, they just looked at each other. Neither of them could really remember what the brawl had been about in the first place.

 

Guy wiped some blood dripping from his mouth and gave the man a little smirk. The man smirked right back with a bright twinkle in his deep green eyes.

Suddenly feeling awkward, Guy stood, but far too quickly.

 

He stumbled backwards and almost blacked out. He reminded himself that he wasn’t a teenager anymore. His body, while fit and muscular, still couldn’t handle nearly the same things as it had once been able to.

 

Still feeling uncomfortable, he habitually shifted his eyes around, something he always did when he was feeling out of sorts. Tentatively, he reached out his hand to help the man up off the ground where he still lay. But he grunted in refusal and slowly lifted himself up to a standing position without assistance.

 

“Well, well, well,” the man said. “You fight well, I must admit. I don’t know where you learned some of those moves way out here, but they are impressive.”

 

“My dad taught me,” Guy replied coolly. He was slowly remembering why he had punched the man in the first place.

 

“Oh. Sorry, I just didn’t know. I was curious.”

 

Guy shrugged, not really desiring a conversation. He just wanted to go home and crawl into bed and pray he wouldn’t be too sore to work tomorrow.

 

“I may not look it, but I do enjoy a good fight. And I think you’ve seen that I can hold my own pretty nicely, although you were a worthy opponent.”

 

“Well…thanks,” Guy mumbled. He wasn’t accustomed to having real conversations with others. It’s not as if the soybean fields were brimming with people eager for a chat. The only time Guy ever had any contact with other humans was during his monthly trips to town, or when his brother called to invite him to do things he well knew Guy couldn’t participate in.

 

“My name is James.”

 

“Why are you telling me that?”

 

“I’d like it if we could see each other as equals. Just people with names and faces and lives.”

 

“That’s a different tune than you were singing before,” Guy remarked, pulling out a cigarette from the back pocket of his jeans and lighting up.

 

“Did you ever consider that I might be just as awkward around other people as you are?” He shot Guy a hard stare and Guy turned away to avoid it.

 

There was no point in denying it. But he still tried anyways. “What makes you think that?” he questioned harshly.

 

James just laughed. “I can tell by your rude greeting just how you are with others. I am the same way. Which is why I responded back just as rudely. The only way people like us know how to communicate is with harsh words and senseless violence.”

 

Guy surprised himself by chuckling. This James was quite the character, he thought. “Maybe that is true. But I know there’s one thing that makes us different. Our lifestyles. Habits too. You’re no smoker, I’ll guess. I bet you’ve never even gotten near a cigarette.”

 

“Not a smoker? Are you kidding? I go through two packs a day.”

 

“Really?” Guy was honestly shocked. He just couldn’t believe that this man from such a high class society would smoke cigarettes.

 

“Sure. It’s the only thing that gets me through each day. I’m under a lot of stress from a lot of people. Cigarettes keep me sane.”

 

Guy pulled out another one from his pocket, lit it, and then handed it to James. “Here…calm your nerves. You talk too damn much.”

 

James laughed and took a long drag on the cigarette.

 

“Don’t people look down on things like that where you come from?”

 

“Absolutely,” James replied, grinning.

 

“Well,” Guy said awkwardly, “I’m Guy. Want a beer?”

 

“Sure, I’d love one. It’s fucking hot out here.”

 

“Yeah…it is,” Guy replied absentmindedly. He kept thinking how different James was from all the other rich people he had ever known. And now he was reluctantly beginning to question his long held beliefs on the human race.

 

 

 

Part 10

 

 

Chris's mum seemed to have forgotten what she asked me to do, because as soon as she saw me all she did was hug me again and tell me that she was glad I came. Maybe she had lost all sense of time and thought it was much later than it actually was. Either way, she didn't make a fuss of it.

 

“They admitted him,” she said to me and, to a lesser extent, my mum. “His brothers and sisters are in the room to see him now, but they'll be off to school soon. He's stable for now, that's what they said. But, um... he hasn't woken yet, and so... they told us that he has probably slipped into a coma.”

 

“Coma? How long will that last?” I asked her, and she shook her head.

 

“No idea. The doctors said he could be out of it in a few hours, or it could last weeks, even months.” Her voice cracked a little, and it looked like she was really struggling to fight back tears. She took a few steps back and sat down in the nearest chair.

 

“But he's OK?” I quickly turned to see my mum. She was staring back at me, her expression half worried and half reassuring. “He'll be OK...”

 

My mum put her hand on my shoulder, and Chris's mum spoke up again. “You can go see him next. Maybe if you talk to him he'll come out if it quicker,” she quietly laughed.

 

I smiled along with her, though we both knew neither of us felt the least bit happy. It did help a little. For another minute or two the three of us stood and waited. Then Chris's siblings walked up and said goodbye to their mother. Chris's father came up and hugged his wife, said hi to me and my mum. I wondered if he knew about me and Chris yet.

 

I walked away slowly towards Chris's room. I could hear my mum and his talking behind me. I don't know what they were talking about.

 

Through the glass in the door, I could see a tiny portion of his body, though it was mostly just his feet. It took me several moments to prepare myself before I felt anywhere near ready to open the door. I wanted to see Chris, I really did, but knowing that there wouldn't be much of an interaction between the two of us was quite heartbreaking. Not to mention, of course, that he almost...

 

I forced myself to push the door open. As soon as I stepped into the room I could see all of Chris. Unsurprisingly, he was laying on his back, his eyes closed. A lot of different machines beeped around him, all attached somehow to his body by one wire or another.

 

It made me feel a little better to see his chest steadily rising and falling. I began to make my way towards the upper half of his body. I could feel my palms becoming sweatier by the second, and the back of my neck felt a little moist as well.

 

For a few minutes, I just stood and stared at him. It was hard to believe less than twenty-four hours before, Chris had been perfectly fine. Now he was in the hospital and I felt like crying.

 

“Chris...” My voice was shaky, as was my hand when I reached out and brushed back some of his mini-curls. “I-I-I'm so glad that you're OK... but I am still really worried about you. I don't want anything to happen to you. I don't know what I would do if something worse did happen...”

 

I paused for a moment as I became aware of several tears dripping down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away with the back of my hand.

 

“I wish you could say something to me right now. As silly as it sounds, I miss hearing your voice. You know, you can wake up anytime,” I said, a bit hopeful that somehow it would work, and Chris would open his eyes and smile at me. I thought I saw his mouth twitch a little, like he was trying to smile.

 

I moved a little closer to the bed, and then I figured I might as well just sit. So I sat down, careful not to hit Chris's arm or anything. He looked so beautiful, even though I had never thought of any guy as being beautiful before. There was just no other way to describe him.

 

“I don't know what else to say. Maybe there isn't anything else to say. Maybe I should just go back out and have my mum bring me to school late or whatever. Although, I'd much rather stay here with you. But you aren't going to wake up anytime soon, are you?

 

“I've heard before that coma patients can actually hear what's going on around them. I don't know how true that is, but I guess you can tell me when you come back. Or maybe you won't be able to remember. I would think that comas mess with your brain a bit, huh? You probably won't remember.”

 

I stared at Chris for another few minutes before I heard the door creak open. Then it closed again, and whoever had walked through was now making their way towards the bed.

 

“How are you doing, Jonny?”

 

“I'm all right,” I quietly said. I couldn't look away from Chris. My mum put her hand on my shoulder again. “Although this isn't really how I pictured you'd meet Chris.”

 

“Well, he seems very nice,” she said with a tiny bit of a laugh. “He certainly is a handsome boy. And his mother is nice, too. I was just having a chat with her, and she gave me the name of this place that does great Italian food. I know how you like pasta so much.”

 

“Yeah,” I pointlessly agreed.

 

“Maybe one day you and Chris could go there,” she suggested.

 

“Yeah.” I let my hand fall to my side, and I tried to stealthily grab Chris's hand. I didn't think I could take much more of staring at him. “One day.”

 

 

The Best Years Of Your Life

Chapter Thirty One: Wishing You A Safe Journey Home.

 

 

 

 

Chris, respecting his boyfriend, slowly rolled Jonny, in his wheelchair, up the slope at the front of the school. Making his way through school- Chris looked around at the classrooms, at the paintings on the walls, at the smaller children staring at him and Jonny- at the life, he was leaving behind. He was growing up. And so was Jonny.

 

Turning left into the school hall, the couple were met with the noise of instruments playing, people singing and even the squeaking of the wheel on a unicycle. Yes- it was the school's annual Talent competition. Almost straight away, Phil ran up to Chris and Jonny, shaking both of their hands.

 

"This is it" Phil said, smirking. "We'll just do a quick rehearsal of the songs and then...it's show time! Are you nervous?"

 

"A little" Chris replied, already feeling butterflies in his stomach. Phil smiled at Chris.

 

"What about you Jonny?" Phil asked, his eyebrows raised and his smile turned sympathetically.

 

"To be honest" Jonny said. "I can't wait until it is all over- I'm bricking it!"

 

Phil burst out laughing. "You were always the funny one, Jonny!"

 

Looking around, Jonny noticed Sophie who was practising her cheer leading with a few other girls including Jane, who seemed to be walking up to Chris.

 

"Y'alright, Chris?" Jane asked.

 

"I'm fine thanks, I'm guessing you heard?" Chris asked.

 

"Heard what?" Jane replied, puzzled.

 

"Has Sophie told you anything?" Chris asked.

 

"I don't really talk to Sophie, I'm not too keen on her actually" Jane said, chuckling, taking Chris to one side. "It's a shame that me and you didn't work out!"

 

"Yeah it is" Chris replied, feeling uncomfortable.

 

As Jane clutched Chris' hand, Jonny looked on. "It's not too late" she said.

 

Letting go of Jane's hand, politely Chris rejected her offer and they both walked away on good terms.

 

"Thank you" Jonny said as Chris walked back towards him.

 

"No problem, now let's get some practice done!" Chris said, pushing Jonny's wheelchair towards the band set-up.

 

-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-

 

Chris' PoV

 

The audience started to assemble. I noticed Mum, Al and Paul assembling straight away, sitting near the back, acknowledging me and Jonny. I smiled back at them as I started tuning my guitar.

 

"Good luck" Will said, shaking my hand. "I'm sorry" he said.

 

"What for?" I replied, already knowing, sort of, what the answer would be.

 

"For not accepting you and Jonny- I realise now that I was wrong" Will said. "Are we still buds?"

 

"Of course" I answered, very happy.

 

Out the corner of my eye I noticed my Dad walking in. I tried not to look as I saw Jonny's mum following him in. They were there- together.

 

"Look...Chris" Jonny said, angry.

 

"I know" I replied, sighing. "I know"

 

"What should we do? Should I say something?" Jonny asked.

 

"No" I replied. "Just forget them, let's just...play"

 

I just hugged Jonny and I can honestly say- it was the best hug I had ever had.

 

Our head teacher, Mr Parry walked on to the stage and started to introduce the contest, I was so nervous but with Jonny by my side- I felt like I could do anything.

 

|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|

 

Jonny's PoV

 

And it started...the contest had started. I was so nervous, and it kept building, we were last on. I had to contend with watching my ex-girlfriend's cheer leading and some terrible singers and a comedian who didn't even know the meaning of the word. It was all rather cringe-worthy, and there was nothing which seemed threatening to us. If Chris could pull it off- we would win.

 

I held Chris' hand, and, slyly, without anyone looking- I kissed him, quickly- on the lips.

 

The time flew by after that, as I started thinking about Chris. I couldn't stop thinking about him as I got wheeled up onto the stage.

 

Will sat at the drums. Guy got hold of his bass guitar, Chris got at his keyboard with a guitar ready and I just grabbed my guitar and stared at it for a moment- waiting for Chris' command.

 

And off we went...

 

|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|-|

 

And they won.

 

Walking (and wheeling) back onto the stage to the sound of rapturous applause- Mr Parry asked them to sing it again.

 

"Well done, boys!" Mr Parry announced, clapping. "Now, introduce yourselves before you go into another rendition of that brilliant song of yours!"

 

Smiling, and looking to Jonny, Chris grabbed hold of Jonny and wheeled him up to the microphone.

 

"I'm Chris Martin" Chris announced.

 

"And I am Jonny Buckland" Jonny said, chuckling into the microphone.

 

Chris grabbed hold of Jonny's hand and they looked into each others eyes for a few moments before staring into the audience and proclaiming;

 

"And we...we are gay"

 

 

WISHING YOU A SAFE JOURNEY HOME.

 

 

3

 

 

 

 

Chris looked above him, past the dirty walls to the small window. Standing on the toilet, Chris slowly opened the window, trying to make as little noise as possible, and, best he could- he tried to squeeze out of the window. He managed to do it and fell to the ground below, back in the alley- he was alone.

 

He just ran, down the alley and around the corner, he walked into a small, tacky looking newsagents. His hood up, he walked down the aisle and started to look at the magazines. A man was stood next to him.

 

"Cheers" He said.

 

"No problem" Chris replied, shaking the man's hand. The man walked out of the shop, also with his hood up before, a few moments later, Chris followed.

 

"Champ" Chris said.

 

The man turned to Chris.

 

"I love you, man" Chris said, grinning, his face barely visible behind his hood.

 

"So..." Champ said, walking down the street with a fair distance between himself and Chris. "What did he say exactly?"

 

"Just that he was gonna' kill you with his bare hands" Chris said, sighing.

 

"Oh...okay" Champ replied, smirking.

 

"So...have we got a place to stay?" Chris asked as Champ led him down a back street.

 

"Yep" Champ replied. "And this is it"

 

Chris and Champ were stood outside a very dingy looking flat which looked like it could collapse any second.

 

"This place...is it safe?" Chris asked.

 

"Of course it is" Champ replied. "I would never take you somewhere which wasn't safe.

 

Chris stared at Champ and slowly walked towards him, putting his hood down and kissing him.

 

 

 

 

Part 11

 

 

I was laying on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling in boredom, when suddenly the phone rang. My mum was home, but she was outside doing some yard work, so it was my duty to answer it. I checked the caller ID, and as soon as I recognized the number as Chris's mum's, my heart started to race.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Jonny, I'm so sorry to bother you,” Chris's mum began, “but I just thought you might want to know that... well, Chris just came out of the coma a few minutes ago. The doctor's in with him now, along with a few nurses. They're just doing some routine stuff, so whenever you want, you can come down and see him. I'm sure he would love it if you did.”

 

My heart continued to beat faster, but I could feel a sort of weight lift from my shoulders. I actually felt like jumping up and down. “Of course. Um... let me just go see if my mum can bring me. This is so great!”

 

“It really is. I hope you can make it. If you want, give me a call when you find out. Maybe I could come pick you up if your mother can't bring you.”

 

“That would be awesome, thank you. So, I guess I'll talk to you later, then.”

 

“Bye, Jonny.” I hung up the phone, my hand trembling, the excitement coursing through my veins. After one entire week, one agonizingly slow week, I was finally going to be able to talk to Chris, and he would be able to talk back.

 

I flew out of the house so fast that my mum probably thought I was being chased by something. She looked up alertly as I skidded to a halt in front of her.

 

“Chris is awake,” I breathed as quickly as possible. She smiled at me, and I felt as though her excitement just wasn't enough. “Can you please take me to see him?”

 

“All right, button. Give me a few minutes,” she said. I ran back inside and grabbed the car keys, and before she could even move from her spot, I was bolting towards the car. “Slow down, kid, he's not going anywhere.”

 

“You don't know that!” I almost literally hopped into the car, and waited for another five minutes or so for my mum to come back out. As it had done the first time my mum drove me to the hospital, time crawled by extraordinarily slow. It felt like hours before we finally got there.

 

And then the hallways in the hospital seemed endless. I didn't remember Chris's room being so many floors up. And so many doors down. There were hundreds of each, I swear.

 

I didn't hesitate to go into the room like I did last time. I was far too excited and I actually didn't even realized I had opened the door until I walked in and saw Chris. He was sitting up, and his youngest brother was sitting on the bed with him. His brother was chatting away, and Chris was staring at his legs but listening intently. I was so overwhelmed that I just stood and stared for a few minutes. I may have stopped breathing at some point.

 

Then his one sister, who I think was called Anita, leaned over and whispered something to him. His eyes bugged and he slowly lifted his head up. As soon as his eyes connected with mine, he smiled widely and I smiled right back.

 

“Hey, Jon,” he softly said. His brother seemed it a fit time to get off the bed, and he quickly moved to the side of the room by his mother.

 

“Hi, Chris,” I said, surprised to find that my voice was rather stable. I wasn't sure what to do next, so I just stood and stared some more.

 

“Kids, why don't we give these boys some privacy?” Chris's mum suggested. They all began to file out, one by one, and as Anita passed by she stopped in front of me for a few seconds.

 

“You two better not start kissing while we're gone,” she said. “Chris needs his rest, you know.”

 

I didn't get a chance to reply before she stalked off, but it wasn't as though I had anything to say anyway. Once they had all left, I realized that what I should have done next was walk up to Chris. So I did.

 

“So, how are you?” he asked me. I shrugged.

 

“I'm all right. It's hard to think right now, to be honest.” I stood a few feet away from the edge of the bed, but I tried to make myself take a step closer to Chris. A part of me was afraid that this was all just a dream, and once I got close enough to him, once I reached out and touched him, I would wake up.

 

“You're telling me,” he droned. He frowned a bit, then looked over at me. “Jonny, the doctor was talking to me earlier. He said while I was out, they did a few tests... He told me that I need a new heart.”

 

Chris's face seemed to have paled a bit. I finally found the courage to stand closer to him. Then I grabbed his hand and sat down beside him.

 

“You do, huh?” I asked in a gentle voice. Chris nodded.

 

“It's gonna be weird,” he quietly said. He lifted his free hand to his chest and kept it there for a bit. “I wonder if I'll feel different. I wonder...” He looked at me again, his eyes wrought with sadness, and he lowered his voice to a near whisper. “Jonny, what if it changes me?”

 

“Do you really think that's possible?” I asked.

 

“I hope not,” he said. “But I don't really know. I mean, if I get a new heart, I could be able to do a lot of things I've never done before. Maybe I'll end up becoming a different person.” He blinked hard, and as he did so a single tear dropped down his cheek. “I just don't want it to harm our relationship. I don't want you to hate me if I do change.”

 

It was painful to see Chris this way, almost as painful as watching him lay unconscious in a hospital bed, and I wondered just a little if he was this worried about how anyone else would think of him. I squeezed his hand tighter and leaned in a bit.

 

“Chris, I will never hate you,” I told him. “Even if you get a new heart, your soul will be the same. It will be just as beautiful as it is now. And you can't change that.”

 

 

 

Chapter 3

 

 

“So this is really your life, huh?” James leaned back in the old armchair which sat in the main room and took a long drink from his bottle. It was dark inside the house. The only light came from the adjoining kitchen, where Guy stood leaning against the counter.

 

He was afraid to get any closer than the thirty feet or so between them. He didn’t know how to act around people. It had been so long since he’d been around anyone. And people around his own age were always particularly frightening to him.

 

As odd as it sounded, he didn’t know how to relate to them. And if he was being honest with himself, they intimidated him. What conversational piece did he have to offer them? The ideal growing conditions for soybeans? And James was particularly intimidating. He was successful.

 

Guy thought James would be bored with anything he said. Surely his upper class business life full of money and parties and probably women would make a far more interesting tale.

 

“Yes,” Guy responded carefully, after a long pause. “This is my life, I suppose.” He paused for another long moment. “Why do you sound so surprised?” he added.

 

“Because it’s so much more similar to my own life than I ever would have expected it to be.”

 

Guy laughed and the sound, while musical, held a slight hint of scorn. “How’s that?”

 

“All day you’re under a great deal of stress and then all you have to return to at the end of the day is a comfortable armchair in a lonely house.”

 

Guy thought about denying it all. He thought he could easily lie to this man, tell him he was happy and just fine. But he didn’t know what it was, maybe the alcohol, but he didn’t much care that this stranger was analyzing him, and doing a good job of it too.

 

And he couldn’t help but note the word “lonely” in what James had said. “You don’t have anyone to come home to, either? I don’t believe that. You’re powerful, successful, everything a woman wants, right?”

 

James scoffed. His dark eyes got even darker. “Yeah, I guess I am. But maybe they’re not everything I want. Or anything I want for that matter.” But he mumbled the last part, and Guy didn’t hear.

 

“Never found the right one then?”

 

“Nope.”

 

There was a low rumble in the distance. Guy lazily lifted his head up and uncrossed his arms. “A storm’s coming,” he said.

 

As if on cue, there was a flash of lighting followed by another rumble of thunder, this one much louder. James shifted position in the chair and grinned like a little boy. “It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten to enjoy a good Kansas thunderstorm.”

 

“Then you’re in luck, because I sense this is going to be a big one.” He turned his nose up and sniffed at the air. “It sure does smell like rain.”

 

James shot Guy a quizzical look. His eyes lightened and laughed at Guy playfully. “I wasn’t aware rain had a smell.”

 

“Well, a city boy like you wouldn’t know,” Guy joked. James laughed heartily. Guy admired his lack of sensitivity towards innocent jokes. He had a tendency to take playful little jabs too seriously, and he knew it.

 

James seemed to have started realizing that too, because he didn’t have any smart replies referring to Guy’s country-born nature. He just sat there, his beer cupped between his two hands, with his eyes laughing and dancing until Guy felt as though he was caught up in some sort of trance.

 

He quickly turned his head away from James’ gaze. He closed his eyes. He prayed for rain. And the heavens happened to be listening. There was a sudden whooshing noise, and all of a sudden Guy could hear the pattering of raindrops beating furiously against the roof.

 

Guy turned around to look out the small glass pained window above the kitchen sink. He stared intently at the rainfall. He hoped it wouldn’t last too long. The soybeans might get damaged. He heard a slight creak, and then a light padding on the tiled floor. Then James' head was next to his, looking out the window.

 

Guy felt like his stomach was going to jump out of his body. His heart stopped and he didn’t dare breathe. He knew he was acting ridiculously. But it had just been so long since he had been in the same room as anyone else, much less mere inches apart.

 

He took a step back and tried to regain some normalcy. “Shouldn’t you be getting back now? It’s getting kind of late.” He hadn’t meant for it to sound rude but the words just spilled out. He couldn’t help it, he was antisocial by nature and lately he had been taking every precaution he could to keep away from all human contact. But James didn't seem to be affected at all.

 

He just stared intently at the heavy rain. Then he said "I could go, if you want me too. But I am not sure how I'll make it back. I wouldn't be able to see a single thing. I'd probably just end up in a ditch somewhere."

 

Guy had an urge to reply "probably" and then send him on his way. But he knew that wouldn't be right. And he had already been through quite a bit with James. A little more time wouldn't make much difference, even to someone like Guy.

 

"Stay the night," he told James.

 

James turned to him and his eyes smiled in a special way that made Guy feel like he needed to stare. "Thanks. I do appreciate it." His eyebrows suddenly knitted together in a frown. "Oh dear. I just remembered that I left the top down on my convertible."

 

Guy tried to look as horrified as possible. Surely this was a big deal. It had looked like an expensive car. And now Guy felt bad for starting the fight and inviting James into his home in the first place. But James didn’t seem to mind at all. In fact, when he looked at Guy’s expression he laughed loudly.

 

“Don’t look so stricken. I was kidding. I don’t give a shit what happens to that car.”

 

“But…..isn’t it…valuable or something?”

 

James laughed even louder, and nearly doubled over with the effort. “Maybe to some people. But not to me.”

 

He took a deep breath to calm down, then spoke in a much more subdued tone. “Listen, Guy. I have about as much interest in cars as you do. We are so much more alike than you think. In fact, you’d probably be shocked to hear how my life was growing up.”

 

“I’m sure you were well-off,” Guy responded nonchalantly.

 

“That’s where you’re wrong,” James replied. “I will tell you a little thing or two about my life.” His dark eyes shone brightly and, leaning against the counter beside Guy, he began to tell his story.

 

 

Part 12

 

 

I was walking to Chris's house. He had been out of the hospital for a few days, but I had been kinda too busy with schoolwork to see him. It felt like I was actually starting to improve in my classes. I understood a lot more, and for some reason I felt the need to do more of the work I was given.

 

But now it was the weekend and I really, really wanted to see Chris. He had actually called and invited me over, so I gladly accepted and left as quickly as possible. I managed to make it there in about ten minutes.

 

His mum let me in, told me he was in his room, and I thanked her and headed off once more. I slowly stepped through the doorway to his bedroom. Chris was on his bed, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling, but he must have heard me coming because he turned his head and smiled at me.

 

“Hey, Jonny,” he softly said. He gently turned on his side and patted down the empty space in front of him. “Come lay down with me.”

 

I walked over to his bed and joined him, resting my head on his pillow and my hand on his arm. “I've missed you,” I told him.

 

“I've missed you, too,” he whispered, bringing his hand to my cheek. His touch made me shiver a little. “My mum won't let me do much of anything around here. Since I've been back, I've just laid in here and... well, nothing, really. Just kinda stared around all day.”

 

“I'm sorry I didn't come over sooner,” I said. Chris slightly raised his eyebrows. “I had a bunch of school stuff I was doing and-”

 

“It's OK,” Chris said with a smile. “I'd much rather you pass your classes than come see me be a bore.” Then we just stared at each other for a while. Chris sighed a little. “Are you and your mum getting on all right?”

 

“Well... I guess.” I diverted my gaze, staring down at his chest. I could see his shirt ruffle as he breathed and his pulse lightly shook the thin fabric. For some reason, it gave me an odd, warm sort of feeling. “She definitely knows that I don't... But it's like I can't be mad at her, you know, because of everything she's done for me. I can't be mad at her for very long, anyway.”

 

“That's kinda sweet, isn't it?” Chris asked. I looked up again at his big, blue eyes, softened with what seemed like adoration. “Most teenagers- at least, it seems- would just take everything for granted and forget that it takes a lot to take care of even just one kid. Then they resent their parents for things that they shouldn't be mad about in the first place. But I think that's just the way the world works. People don't appreciate what they should.”

 

I felt sorry for Chris, as he appeared to be speaking with a great passion about this sort of thing. Probably because of the limits he'd had set on him his entire life. And even though I realized that he was saying I was above that, I still felt a little guilty hearing him say it.

 

“So, when are you getting that new heart, huh?” I casually asked him.

 

“Well, I'm on a waiting list. So, as soon as they tell me that they've got one.” He smiled a little, but for the most part he looked sad. I brought my hand down from his arm and I covered the area of his chest that I was sure contained his heart. Then I could feel it beating.

 

“I'd give you mine if I could,” I quietly said. He smiled for real this time, and placed his hand over mine.

 

“I think that might be a bit counter-productive,” he replied. “But thank you. In the meantime, I'm not supposed to do anything that could get my heart rate up. Even though they put me on meds- more meds- that are supposed to prevent that from happening. And if it does happen again, they gave my mum this thing and taught her how to use it. They taught my dad, too, but it's more likely that my mum would be the one using it.”

 

“Thing... like, um... like a defibrillator or something?”

 

“Yeah, exactly.” Chris nodded slightly, then his sadness seemed to reappear. He frowned, took a deep breath, and spoke again. “Jonny, you know when people are dying, when they know they're dying, but they don't know when it'll happen... they go out and live their lives like they've always wanted to. They do the things they were afraid to do before, since they don't know when it'll all be over. Those people are lucky.”

 

Something about Chris mentioning dying scared me a little. But I tried not to show it. “How are they lucky?”

 

Chris thought for a few moments. “Well, I think most people would say they're lucky because they've forgotten what fear is. Or they just ignore it. Because now there's no reason for them to be afraid. There's nothing to lose.” He took a short pause, and it was then I noticed that he was inching himself closer to me. “But really, they're lucky because they can do those things. They aren't being held back like some of the other people are.”

 

“Oh, geez, Chris-” Before I could move my arm, he buried his head in my chest. I heard a few sniffles, and Chris started shaking under my hand.

 

“Jonny, I don't mean to scare you,” he sobbed, “but no one knows what could happen. It could happen again b-before- and m-maybe this time it won't work out so well.” He took his hand off mine and tightly grabbed around my back. “But whether or not it does, there's nothing I can do but just sit around and wait.”

 

“Hey, you've made it this far,” I quietly said into his ear. “I know you can make it, Chris. You're strong enough.”

 

Chris lifted his head a little and looked at me, though it must have been hard to see through all those tears. “I hope so.”

 

 

 

Chapter 4

 

 

“I grew up as the third of eight children. All of us along with my parents lived in a tiny little apartment in the heart of the worst part of Kansas City. We had nothing but the necessities. Sometimes we didn’t even have that.”

 

Guy nodded, understanding well the feeling of have nothing but basic provisions in his own home. James didn’t even notice the movement. He was too caught up in his tale. His eyes shone brightly and he moved his arms around in an animated way as he spoke.

 

Guy found it difficult to focus on James’ actual words when all of those exaggerated moments were capturing his eye. But when James began to speak about his father Guy found his hearing again and listened closely to every word.

 

“My father was a good man, though. He took care of our needs. He was a businessman. He always told us that someday he would make it big in the business world. He never did. He died as poor as he had been the day he was born. But yet, he died with satisfaction.”

 

James paused for a moment and looked out the window, reminiscing about old times. Guy wanted to say something. He thought he might want to tell James that he was right, they really were similar, that even their fathers were similar. Because this story was reminding him quite clearly of his own father.

 

But he didn’t want to dim the enthusiasm and passion of James. He seemed to be a natural storyteller. Guy knew he could never speak like that. So he kept his mouth closed and waited for James to continue.

 

“He always taught my siblings and me the importance of trying our best. He told us if we did, we would be successful in life. All of my siblings and I followed these guidelines religiously. We all had an enormous amount of respect for our father. But I was the only one who gained much out of it. Or so everyone says.”

 

He paused to look Guy in the eyes, as if to say that this was the most important part of the narrative. Guy looked at him briefly and noticed the fiery passion in his expression. And then Guy felt he knew what was coming next. Because he felt the same passion when thinking of his own ideals.

 

“Basically what happened is I got lucky. I made a good investment at the right time and before I knew it I was basically a millionaire. I got myself a nice house and some nice cars and a bunch of useless gadgets I told myself I was doing it because it would make my father proud. But I knew he would be proud of me no matter what I did. And then I realized how unhappy I was living like that.”

 

“How could you be unhappy?” Guy questioned. He hadn’t meant to say anything but the question just came out.

 

James shot him an incredulous look. “Guy you know as well as I do that a bunch of material possessions won’t make you happy. I can tell that you would be miserable without work to do. And that is what I missed out on. I felt like I was doing nothing and getting everything in return. So now…..”

 

He drifted off for a moment, thinking of the right thing to say. “Now,” he continued, “I simply don’t care. I let my things fall into disrepair. I ignore the invitations I get to fancy high lass parties. I leave my open convertible out in the rain.” He winked and Guy laughed.

 

“So you see, we are incredibly similar to each other. Both of us want to work for a living, and we know what truly matters in this crazy world.” He gave Guy a long stare. “You are the first person I have met in all my years of being wealthy who understands what true value is.”

 

Guy gave James an awkward little smile. He rubbed the back of his head nervously. He didn’t know what to say. It almost sounded like James held some sort of admiration for him. Guy didn’t think that could possibly be the case. He was just a lowly worker. He was a loner. He purposely hid from people. What could be admirable about that?

 

James was still staring at Guy. His dark eyes flashed as he thought of something new to say. “Let me tell you a little secret. I didn’t come down here because I care about my stupid fucking investment in soybeans. I drove all the way out to the middle of nowhere because I was hoping that I might find someone who shared my principles. Someone I could talk to, someone I found interesting. And guess what? I did. I am talking to him right now.”

 

Guy blushed a little despite himself. He averted his eyes from James’ gaze and stared at the floor. This was too much. James really did admire him. It seemed impossible. It was impossible. But somehow, it was true.

 

James never seemed to mind Guy’s silence. He continued right on. “My dad always said that average, everyday workers were the heart of this country. And now I am realizing just how true that is. Seeing the way you carry yourself, hearing the way you talk, taking in the conditions which you live under, it all combines to accredit that statement my father made so often.”

 

Guy felt overwhelmed by all of this. Here there was this prominent businessman in a more than nice suit, albeit now a bit stained with blood and dirt, telling him that he was admirable. Maybe not in those exact words, but it was the general impression Guy got from all of it.

 

Not knowing what to do, he just looked back up at James and smiled. He hoped it was an appreciative smile, and that it didn’t look too fake. He wasn’t accustomed to smiling; it had been a while since he had smiled at all. But James smiled back, so he figured he must be doing it right.

 

Feeling awkward once more after a few seconds of that, Guy turned back to the window. The storm was picking up. It was raining even harder than before. There was a blinding flash of lightning. The contrasting light against the darkness of the sky made Guy realize how late it was getting. Thunder boomed loudly. Guy decided it was late enough for sleeping.

 

“Listen….I’ll take the couch and you can have my bed, okay?”

 

James smiled. He seemed to know that Guy was grateful for his words of admiration, though Guy never said anything about it. “No way, I am the guest here. I will take the couch.”

 

“No,” Guy responded firmly. “I want to sleep on the couch.”

 

“Okay fine, have it your way,” James relented. “See you in the morning, then.” He winked again.

 

Guy sighed with relief. He was thankful James didn’t know the real reason for his aversion to sleeping in his own bed.

 

 

 

Part 13

 

 

As I was walking home that evening, it occurred to me that there had been several times in the past week that I had comforted Chris while he was laying in some sort of bed. I didn't know if that meant anything, but it was just something I noticed.

 

What Chris had said did scare me quite a bit, though he had said he didn't mean for it to. I found it easiest to get over those emotions by ignoring them, and pretending that I really was as strong as I acted for Chris. Eventually, I fooled myself so well that it actually became true. I did believe that everything was going to work out in the end.

 

For the following seven or so months, Chris did what he referred to as “sitting around and waiting.” Not being able to even really leave his room, let alone his house, his parents pulled him out of school and his mother home-schooled him. I tried to stop by almost every day to see him, and I would stay for a few hours.

 

About halfway through that time, Chris took up painting and other sorts of artsy things. Pastels and watercolors or something like that. He was pretty good at it. One day I watched him paint a stuffed tiger that belonged to his youngest brother. It was almost spot-on.

 

Then one quiet afternoon, the phone rang. It was Chris, calling to inform me that he had just received a call from the hospital, and that within a week or two he would be going into surgery. He sounded so happy that I couldn't help smiling along (he was no doubt smiling, from the excitement in his voice he was probably grinning wider than what was ever thought humanly possible).

 

“I told you you'd make it,” I said.

 

“Oh, Jonny, you and your need to be right,” Chris sighed, then laughed a little. “But I'm glad you were right.”

 

“I'm glad, too.”

 

“I would invite you over to celebrate, but maybe we should wait until after I'm not limited to just sitting around, eh?” he said in a deep voice.

 

“Sounds good to me,” I replied in what I thought was a similar voice. Then my mum came into the room and I thought it might be awkward to keep talking like that with Chris while she was able to listen, and so I told Chris that I would see him the next day and then I let him get on with whatever he and his family were doing.

 

For some reason I didn't visit Chris so much that week. Only once or twice. I guess I figured that it would be best for him to get a break from me or something, even though that explanation didn't make so much sense. He was obviously busy with other things, anyway, because he never called and demanded that I see him. But he did invite me over for dinner the night before he was scheduled to go into surgery.

 

It had never exactly hit me just how big his family was until we were all sitting at the dinner table. With both of Chris's parents there (normally his dad would have still been at work, but he had taken a few days off, so he had been home all day), all four of his brothers and sisters, myself, and, of course, Chris, it was a wonder that we all even fit in the room.

 

The meal was great, and once mostly everyone had finished eating, the younger kids went off into the other room to play, and Chris and I stayed at the table with his parents. Chris asked me loads of questions, about how I was doing in school and how my mum and I were doing at home. They were all questions that he asked me every time we saw each other, and the answers never really changed.

 

After I was done telling him about how I still hated my maths teacher, Chris excused himself from the table and went to fetch something from his room. He came back a few minutes later carrying a large stack of papers, which he proceeded to shove in front of me.

 

“Here, Jonny, I want you to have these,” he said, smiling at me in an almost frightening way. I took the papers from him and slowly looked at them.

 

Every single one was either a painting or drawing of me. They looked fantastic, though I can't say that I really enjoyed looking at myself thirty times in a row. As I flipped through the last few, I noticed that Chris was still standing behind me. He must have noticed, too, and he quickly sat down.

 

“I drew them, you know, over the last few months. Whenever I was feeling a bit down, and you weren't here, I just drew a picture of you and it helped.” Chris's head was down a bit, like he was embarrassed of what he had done. “I didn't hang them up with the rest, because I thought it might be just a bit weird, so I... I kept them under my bed.” Chris laughed shortly. “I guess that's not much less creepy.”

 

“These are really nice, Chris,” I told him. And if I hadn't been so strong by that point, I might have been worried that he seemed so intent on giving me the drawings before he had his surgery. It did hurt just a little, though.

 

I didn't stay for much longer, mostly because Chris's mum made him lie down and get some rest, so it was obviously time for me to leave. He went to get ready for bed, promising me that he would come back and say goodbye and so I had better not leave just yet, and I stayed in the kitchen and talked to his mum.

 

“Jonny, I'm sorry about Chris,” she vaguely said to me, though I had an idea of what she meant.

 

I looked up at her, and I knew then that even though before I wasn't sure if I should or not, there was something that I felt I needed to ask, and now seemed to be an appropriate time. “He, um... he doesn't think this'll work, does he?” I asked her. She looked at me for a while, her tired eyes giving enough of an answer by themselves.

 

“Last week we brought him to the doctor, and they explained all the risks and possible complications,” she began, “and... I don't think that he's convinced it won't work, he just wants to... be prepared.” She winced a little, then sighed, her exhaustion even more apparent. “He is killing me, I swear.”

 

“He's been doing stuff like this ever since, huh?” I asked, gently lifting up the drawings I was still holding. She nodded.

 

“For the past week, he's made sure that every night he does at least one thing with each of his brothers and sisters,” she said. “It's nice, and I'm glad that he gets along with them so well- because God knows they don't get on with each other very often- but it's just... I've had this perpetual headache all week.”

 

She lifted her hands and rubbed her temples, closing her eyes and sighing once more. “He'll be fine,” I said.

 

“I know he will. Everything that he's ever been through, I've been through with him, and I know that he can pull through just fine.” She opened her eyes again, but covered them with her hand. “It's just that I can't handle the thought of... of...”

 

I stepped forward to hug her, but she put her hand up in protest. “No, I can't let this get to me,” she said. “I appreciate your concern, but I just have to think of something else. I might as well get these dishes done now...”

 

She quickly turned around and switched her focus to the sink. I stepped back, and at that moment Chris walked into the room. He smiled as he put his arms around me.

 

“Goodbye, Jonny, I'll see you in a few days, yeah?” he said, then he softly kissed me and rested his head on my shoulder. I held him as tightly as I could without squeezing him to death, and I felt him move a little and quite suddenly his breath was on my ear. “I love you, Jonny,” he whispered.

 

At first I wasn't sure that I had heard him correctly, then I remembered Chris's behavior and knew that it had to be right. Rather than worrying, though, I just smiled and whispered back, “I love you, too, Chris.”

 

 

 

Part 14

 

 

Chris stared down at the piece of paper in his hand for quite some time, his eyes unfocused as his mind was hard at work. Then suddenly he jumped a little, and quickly scribbled something down. When he had finished writing, he stared again, twisting his mouth in several different ways.

 

“Well, I think that's it,” he quietly said, perhaps more to himself, and he turned to me and smiled. “I finished my list!”

 

“Great,” I replied. A short pause. “What's it a list of?”

 

Chris smiled some more and held the list out in front of me. “It's a list of all the things I can do now. Well, you know, once the stitches come out.” He daintily lifted his other hand to his chest, and his fingers brushed over the thread that was holding his skin together.

 

“Oh, that's cool.” Chris nodded and took the paper back, letting it rest on his lap.

 

“I want you to do them with me,” he excitedly said, his eyes lighting up. “If you want, of course.”

 

“I'd love to,” I said. I watched as Chris looked over the list again, though he didn't appear to be thinking of anything to add to it. After a while I could see his eyes slowly slide over to discreetly look at me. Then Chris turned his entire head.

 

“What?” he asked, paranoid and laughing nervously.

 

“Nothing.” Chris narrowed his eyes at me. “I love you,” I told him.

 

He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head slightly to the side. “I love you, too,” he said, “and, you know, there are a few things we could do together that I didn't write down.”

 

“Chris!” He looked at me questioningly, at which point I nodded to the other side of the room. He turned to look, and almost instantly realized what my problem was.

 

“Hey, mum,” he slowly said, the nervous laughter returning but in a much greater volume. “I see you're still in the room.”

 

“I certainly am,” his mum replied. She looked like she was torn between giving Chris some sort of stern talk, and just pretending she hadn't heard anything. There were a few moments of total and really awkward silence, then Chris shrugged.

 

“Whatever, I'm almost an adult,” he said.

 

“Jonny's not,” she retorted. Chris brought his hands up in the air, and rolled his eyes.

 

“Yeah, but Jonny... Jonny is a September baby. And everyone knows September babies are... mature for... their... age.” Chris quickly brought his hand to his face and scratched his nose a few times. He coughed a little. His mother looked at him as though he had six heads. I might have had that expression as well.

 

“What are you even talking about?”

 

“I don't know!” he defensively replied. “Geez, I've just had a heart transplant and now they've got me on God knows how many drugs... you could cut me some slack.”

 

“Chris, you aren't on anything except immunosuppressants.” Chris threw his hands up once more, then he laid back against the pillows and looked at me.

 

“Jonny, you'll cut me some slack, won't you?” he asked so quietly and with such a serious face that I couldn't help laughing.

 

“Yeah.” He smiled, and reached his arm out to grab my hand. For a few minutes we sat like that in silence. Chris's mum stood up and walked towards the door.

 

“Chris, I'm going to get a drink. Would you like anything?” she asked.

 

“No, thank you,” he said.

 

“Jonny?”

 

“Uh, no, I'm fine,” I said. “Thanks.”

 

She nodded, then left the room. Less than a minute after she was gone, Chris sighed very loudly. “You know, Jonny,” he began, his voice hoarse, “it's not all over. Things could still... They put me on the immunosuppressants so that there'll be less of a chance that my body will reject it. But it's not a guarantee or anything.”

 

“What happens if your body does reject it?” I asked. Chris just stared at me, his eyes steadily becoming teary, and I had my answer. “Oh.”

 

I stared down at the floor, unable to look at him for much longer. I imagined that it was probably close to what his mother had felt; just the mere thought of this beautiful creature not being there... it was a lot to handle.

 

“I'm sorry, Jonny,” Chris said in a cracked voice. “I didn't mean to... I just... I'm just a-afraid.” Chris's hand, which was still in mine, started to tremble, and without thinking I looked up. Chris had his head tilted back facing the ceiling, but his eyes were closed.

 

“There's nothing to be afraid of, Chris,” I quietly told him. He kept his eyes shut. “I'll be here for you no matter what, and so will your family, and you're going to be fine.”

 

“Thank you, Jonny.” Chris finally looked at me again. He took his hand away from mine and brought it up to my cheek. “I don't know what I would do without you... I mean, I have my family, like you said, but now it just feels like you're included with them, you know? Not that you're family, because that would just be weird-” Chris's eyes bulged and I laughed a bit- “but, you know... I need you as much as I need them.”

 

“That's sweet.” Chris smiled, and he waved his hand as if to tell me to come closer. So I did. I inched forward a bit, but seeing that it wasn't enough, I stood up and leaned over Chris. He grabbed onto my shirt and pulled me down even further, then he kissed me.

 

When I pulled away, Chris had a rather devious glint in his eye, and for a few seconds it seemed as though he was going to pull me down again. But then he shook his head.

 

“No, no. No. No, I should not make out with you right now,” he said. “No, that would be a bad idea. Bad idea.” After he was done repeating his words a hundred times, he smiled at me again. “Ah, but don't fret, Jonny, it will be first on the list on things to do once I'm finally healthy enough.”

 

“Good,” I laughed, and Chris winked. Then this look came over his face, a look I had never seen before, an intense wondrous look that made Chris appear like a small child.

 

“Jonny, will you take me to the overlook?” he asked in a dazed voice. I had to think for a few moments; it had been so long since I went there that I had almost forgotten it existed. But I agreed once I had remembered, and Chris immediately wrote down a line on the top of his list: Go to the overlook with Jonny♥.

 

 

Chapter 2

-good things take time-

 

 

The little fan was blowing hot air around the tiny guard shack and the static on the radio was becoming over bearing. Will tensed his hand and swung hitting the radio, knocking it to the ground and sending pieces of it across the floor. “Shit.” Will sat still breathing deeply in and out through his nose trying to calm down. “Fuck this.” The muscular man reached his hands to the little opening in the stand and launched his body through the opening. A dull thud let anyone around now that he had landed on the sand.

 

Will looked up and noticed that on the horizon dark clouds were forming and that the air was becoming increasingly stale and eerily calm. A storm was on its way in, Will felt the power coursing through his veins. It was electrifying and cleansing at the same time. It had been a while since a good storm had come through here and he was excited. He wasn’t the only one who noticed it either, the beach was empty, and his usual following of old hags had gone home to their little blue pill popping husbands. It was an almost peaceful sight. Rolling waves and golden sand beaches lay before him and not a sole could be seen.

 

He quickly judged the ominous clouds and determined that their threat would not happen today, but maybe early tomorrow morning. The waves were beginning to grow, Will knew that tomorrow he would see a few crazies out to surf it, he just hopped that they were smart and were able to judge it, but most likely that wouldn’t happen. Deciding that there would be no other guests at the beach, Will decided to collect the flags and go home.

 

 

 

The wind was starting to pick up and was causing the shutters on the windows to bang the sides of the house creating an awful sound. Will cringed as he thought of the imminent damage that was occurring. He had underestimated this storm and it was quickly turning into a storm of hurricane proportions. Will walked into his kitchen to find his sister setting out a pot to catch the water droppings that were leaking from the ceiling.

 

“Right uh the roof needs to be replaced, but in due time eh?” Will said as he received a death glare from Savannah.

 

“Oh cheer up, at least it doesn’t rain all the time here. Anyway I’m going to make you a famous Georgia Peach Pie. That should make up for the constant shower.”

 

“Will you can actually bake?” Savannah questioned in a teasing manner.

 

“Mhhmm, and it includes a side of ultimate death!” Will said as he nodded his head.

 

“Well this I have to taste, better yet see.” Savannah replied as she sat down at one of the stools that sat by the kitchen counter.

Will let out a great bellow of laughter as he whisked around the kitchen gathering up supplies to create his pie. He was extra careful to accidently spill some flour on Savannahs head. But then the flour was returned in the form of a face full of egg. Before long Savannah and Will were having a battle in the kitchen. Finally after his kitchen was coated in a fine layer of white dust and runny yellow yoke, he decided to crack down and make his pie.

 

In a short hour Will had finished mixing, and whisking and had a pie to show for it. Savannah gave will a teasing round of clapping while Will bowed.

 

“And now it bakes.” Will announced with a grin.

“And now it gets neglected and burns!” Savannah shouted as she ran out of the room to avoid the towel that was tossed in her direction.

 

Will smiled and placed the pie into the oven and set to cleaning up his kitchen. When he was done he still had a good 30 min before the pie needed to be taken out. A quick glance out the window showed that the storm outside had lessened to a mild pitter patter of rain and Will decided to go for a walk in the rain along the beach. He let Savannah know, and told her when to take the pie out.

 

Upon stepping out side Will took a deep breath and let his lungs fill with the fresh air. The smell in the air was luxurious; it had the sweat scent that lingers after a heavy down pour mixed with the salt from the sea. Will set out at quick pace enjoying the feeling the rain left as it fell on his skin. The dark waters churned and left bubbles in their wake. When Will stood still and closed his eyes he could hear the bubbles pop and it sent chills of bliss down his spine. Everything about the rain and weather was making him giddy, like it was the first day of school when you’re six.

 

Will was glancing out at the waves when he noticed and dark figure out on the waves surfing. They were getting dangerously close to the outcropping of rocks. Will had seen many surfers get tangled up in choker wave and seen them get driven into the rocks. Most didn’t survive. Holding his breath he watched in what felt like slow motion a surprise wave come up from behind the lone surfer. One second they were on top of the wave and the next they were swallowed and thrown deep into the pounding cavern of the waves underbelly.

 

Will’s pulse speed up like stomping on the throttle of a car’s gas, he ran and dove into the menacing ocean trying desperately to fight his way out to the surfer. Wave after wave pounded on him, trying to thwart his efforts, but will persevered and kept swimming. Kick. Stroke. Kick. Stroke. Through salt burning eyes he could see a figure tossed onto the rocks and pieces of a surfboard scattered around. Will mustered up a great amount of stamina and propelled himself directly to the rocks.

 

Blood was rolling down the side of the head of the surfer. Will scooted his body right next to the surfer. He brushed the hair to the side that was strewn in the face of the surfer and looked into the face of the most stunning woman he had ever scene.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 5

 

 

“It’s the third room on the left,” Guy called out as James turned the corner and headed down the narrow hall. He then sat on the all too familiar couch which had been his bed for months now. He started to lay his head down but sat up again as he felt a pang of guilt.

 

He couldn’t leave his guest without some provisions. He didn’t know what the bed had now. It probably didn’t have a decent blanket or even any pillows. He hadn’t slept there for so long it was hard to remember just what was there. He hadn’t even stepped into the actual room in weeks.

 

So he stood up to check on James. He turned down the hallway and stopped dead in his tracks. The third door on the left was open, and James stood there, his hand on the doorknob, looking in. Guy didn’t know what to do. He never suspected this might happen. So he lashed out.

 

“What do you think you’re doing!?” he growled. “I thought I told you it was the third room on the left.”

 

“But...I thought it was the third room…but then when I looked inside it didn’t seem right so I got confused….I’m sorry.”

 

He looked genuinely apologetic, even though he couldn’t possibly have known what it was he had done to produce such a harsh reaction from Guy. He immediately removed his hand from the doorknob, his face full of shame.

 

Seeing his expression, Guy realized how ridiculous he was being. He grabbed James’ hand abruptly. “Listen,” he blurted out, “don’t be sorry. It’s my fault. I should have warned you, the first door doesn’t lead to a room. It’s just a closet.”

 

“Oh, I see. Well, I’m sorry for the trouble regardless.” James pointed to the next door. “So it’s this one then?”

 

Guy nodded. He considered leaving it like that, no further explanations. But when James started to leave he got this feeling that he should tell him something more. He followed him into the room and stood in the doorway.

 

He watched James’ tall frame standing erect for a moment, just looking around. Then he saw him sit on the edge of the bed, a small smile playing on the corners of his lips as he admired the craftsmanship of the headboard. Then Guy knew for sure that James deserved the full truth.

 

He leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed, not quite knowing how to begin. He didn’t have any exciting opening words to make his story seem interesting. He didn’t know where to start. So he just told it like it was.

 

“There’s a reason I wanted to sleep on the couch.”

 

James turned his head towards the sound of Guy’s voice and his eyes lit up when he saw him standing there. The smile got a little more noticeable.

 

“I’ve been sleeping there for months now. Because I couldn’t bear to sleep in here, in that bed.” He nodded to it with disdain. “I was married once. It was young love. Perhaps we rushed into it. Maybe it wasn’t the right decision for her. But I loved her, very much.”

 

He entered the room and sat beside James on the bed. He put his hands on his knees and let the words flow off his tongue. “We had a kid together. A little boy named Malcolm. He’s six years old now, and seven soon.”

 

“So that’s the room I saw,” James said quietly.

 

“Yes, that is it. It hasn’t been used in a while though. Not since my wife left me.”

 

James’ eyes grew wide. He couldn’t fathom why anyone would leave such an astounding man. “What happened?” he inquired curiously. “Why on earth would she do that?”

 

Guy chuckled at his impatience. “I was getting to that.”

 

“Sorry, sorry,” James replied. “Go on.”

 

“I wasn’t successful enough for her. The harvestable crop had been lessening every year, and last year, a little before she left, there had hardly been one at all. We just barely scraped by on my earnings.”

 

James sighed almost as if he was annoyed. “Of course. Success means the world, doesn’t it?” His tone was surprisingly bitter, even to James himself. But the thought of Guy suffering this way just because of some financial difficulties stirred up some long buried anger inside him.

 

"It wasn’t like that. She had every right to be upset. I couldn’t provide her what she needed. So one day she packed up her and Malcolm’s things, left a note on the table, and left. I haven’t spoken with either her or Malcolm since.”

 

“How long did you say it’s been?” James asked.

 

“About six months now. Divorced for two. I remember the day I got those papers in the mail. I guess I had kind of thought she would come back at some point. But when I read the letter I finally accepted the reality.”

 

For a moment he paused, finding the next part extremely difficult to say.

 

“But there was more than divorce papers in that envelope. There was another paper too, stating that my wife had been granted full custody of Malcolm. The letter said I hadn’t showed up for the court hearing. Allegedly, my wife told me about the hearing. But I never knew anything of it until I got that letter.”

 

“I’m sorry,” James said. “That is a terrible thing. No one should have to go through that.”

 

Guy stared off into space. “That’s why I am trying so hard this season. I need to produce good crops. I’ve got to make a decent income. I want to get Malcolm back. I at least want partial custody. I have to prove to a judge that I am a responsible father.”

 

James looked at Guy with large, sympathetic eyes. “I can tell you are a very good father, and a good husband. Anyone who can’t see that, well, they are honestly just complete bastards. I don’t mean to be so blunt, but in just a few hours with you I can see the kind of person you are. You’re honest, hardworking, and loyal. Those are great qualities.”

 

“Thank you,” Guy whispered. “You know…I don’t think I realized until now how much anger I have built up inside towards Julie, that’s her name. My wife…well ex-wife now.” He glanced forlornly up at the headboard. “I built this bed you know. It took me hours. I made it as a wedding gift. It was all I could afford.”

 

James’ eyes registered understanding. “So that’s what those initials on the headboard stand for. That ‘J & G.’ ”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Damn,” James joked. “I was hoping it stood for James and Guy.”

 

Guy laughed heartily. “Sorry, you’re out of luck there.”

 

“Yes, I really am,” James replied. He looked into Guy’s large brown eyes and wished Guy could hear the underlying meaning of his words.