Reilly Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 http://www.landoverbaptist.org/ Thanks. Praise be the Lord. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Empily Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 "Spring Bible Crawl & Infant Sterilization Now Underway Celebrating 140-years of sterilizing demon-possessed infants to the Glory of Christ!" ....I'll think about it :thinking: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reilly Posted April 26, 2010 Author Share Posted April 26, 2010 Thinking's not an option in my church :thinking: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imke Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 :freak: Ahahahahaha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wherrwhfer Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 :sick: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reilly Posted April 26, 2010 Author Share Posted April 26, 2010 I know, Avatar is sick :freak: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imke Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 The Plan of Salvation: Special Limited Time Offer Through December 2009! If you are Unsaved, This is YOUR DAY: Now for a limited time, receive our Certification of Eternal Security. This exclusive offer gives you access to special Landover Baptist Church events on Judgment Day Evening. Please note that this offer is not good with any earlier commitment you may have made through the Landover Baptist Ministries. See below WE BLOW AWAY THE COMPETITION! Landover Baptist Church offers THE cheapest Plan of Salvation and assurance of Eternal Security, ANYWHERE on the internet! We dare you to find someone offering this package for a lower price WITHOUT ANY STRINGS ATTACHED! IT'S SIMPLE: If you are interested in getting saved, you are looking for the plan of salvation. We have the information you need. We can help you understand everything you need to know to get to Heaven and avoid Hell. For The Plan of Salvation, please send a check or money order in the amount of $439.00* to: Attn: Finance Department Landover Baptist Church Corporate Christian Offices 207 Soulwinner's Palace Dr. Freehold, IA 45587 (Be sure to include a note asking for the pamphlet "Please, Jesus. Don't Send Me To Hell.") Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmmaLouiseSmyth Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 I'm never smacking my bitch again :uhoh: I'm doing the quizzes :awesome: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0301/roleofwomen.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bright Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 hahahaaaa this quiz :bomb: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news1102/carnagequiz.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imke Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 I'm a genius. :surprised: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reilly Posted April 26, 2010 Author Share Posted April 26, 2010 "4. In God's eyes, who is worth more between women and men? B. God expressly says men are worth more, and actually provides dollar amounts proving this." Hahahaha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the_gloaming09 Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 that website sucks... way too much info on the homepage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EmmaLouiseSmyth Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 the t-shirts are quite cool :thinking: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reilly Posted April 26, 2010 Author Share Posted April 26, 2010 that website sucks... way too much info on the homepage. Are you able to dress yourself? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imke Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reilly Posted April 26, 2010 Author Share Posted April 26, 2010 If you get bored of the website there's a TON more shit in the forum: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=504746#post504746 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imke Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 I have heard big boned ladies have shorter pregnancies Pastor. To give you an idea last fall Brother Ray's daughter Baylee dropped one right in Sunday service and let me tell you young Sister Baylee is so big boned she is a "double" on a pew rentals. We figured she must have gotten knocked up by that Mexican boy only six days before (hope Hernado enjoys his stay for rape in State prison). Well at lest Baylee found this nice boy named Clint to marry her and over look the child's conception and adopted the kid as his own. :awesome: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yellowy eyes Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 yeah and of course there's the westboro babtist church... http://www.godhatesfags.com/ :/ saw the Louis Theroux's programme about the family.. pretty sick.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reilly Posted April 26, 2010 Author Share Posted April 26, 2010 ^I've seen them on that show, incredibly odd. I've also seen them on Jeremy Kyle in the UK via satellite, car crash television. They are emotionless robots. But that one is actually real, this is a parody website based on ones like godhatesfags. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megalomania Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 "The first thing we do," Landover Pastor, Deacon Fred explains, "is put a Bible on the ground. If the baby crawls away from the Bible, it immediately becomes a candidate for sterilization." The possessed child is then placed in a crib with a full grown adult swine to see if the demon will hitch a ride (Mark 5: 11-13). "We then take the pig to Landover Lake and see if it drowns itself in accordance with scripture," Deacon Fred says. "If the pig drowns, the child may stay with its parents. If the pig does not kill itself, then the malformed offspring is shipped off to the Landover Home for the Demonically Possessed in North Dakota. http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0400/sterile.html :wtf: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reilly Posted April 26, 2010 Author Share Posted April 26, 2010 ^HAHAHAHAHA! Where was that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Empily Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 I just like the picture :awesome: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yellowy eyes Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 yeah sorry didn't look at that too closely hehe. but anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pseudonym Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 secks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Megalomania Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 ^HAHAHAHAHA! Where was that? The first site you posted. Scroll down a bit from the home page, and it's above the picture of the Avatar doll thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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