:P

 

Woman's insult to men:

 

 

I wanted to be a flight attendant because it's a chance to meet men. When they're strapped down.

Lea, here's one for you, since you're into biology and all that stuff... :sneaky:

 

 

Sex is hereditary. If your parents didn't have it, chances are you won't either!

sex is not hereditary...stupidity is...

plus i've got an genetic exam tomorrow... :confused:

ummm i don't think u got the joke. sorry :dozey:

 

good luck for your exams!

ok these aint jokes but I like some of them! :P

 

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is

that considered a hostage situation?

 

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

 

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

 

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting

OUT of the water?

 

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

 

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

 

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

 

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the

Special Olympics?

 

When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a

woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.

 

If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

 

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

 

Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people

appear bright until you hear them speak?

 

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

 

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice

as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

 

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the

battery is dead?

 

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw

hamburgers?

 

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished?

Shouldn't they be called builts?

 

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

 

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

 

When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near

miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!!

 

Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?

 

Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in

charge of everything outdoors?

 

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

 

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is

open, it's not a door?

 

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe

you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

 

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always

ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

 

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of

progress?

 

Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients,

but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

 

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

 

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a

suitcase?

 

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

 

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

 

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have

monkeys and apes?

 

Do married people live longer than single people, or does it

just SEEM longer?

 

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the

self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the

purpose.

 

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are

they all still working?

 

Isn't the best way to save face to keep the lower part shut?

 

War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.

 

 

can you tell I'm bored?? :dozey: :dozey:

yes i've got it...

if you could see my genetic exercices...you would not laugh right now

:(

awww those are wonderful!! :-) keep 'em coming!! and no, you're not bored! :D

and if you could see right now..i'm sure you would have a very hard laugh :dozey:

omg :lol: :lol: :lol: see u got talent! :D :P

 

here's one from the 21st century!

 

 

Son, I think it's time we talked about sex.

Sure, Dad. What do you want to know?

 

:lol: :stunned: :lol: :P

okay, i hit a big one with that, didn't i!? :lol: :cool:

 

sorry Lea. Well...I dunno what to say now.... :/

mmm

post a joke

you want a joke, lady. Here's one!

 

another insult joke for the guys....(from womens' perspective!)

 

 

Men are like fine wine.

They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd like to have dinner with.

 

 

 

 

:P

:lol:

this is a good joke (not bad/adult kinda...)

 

 

Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, good-looking, and tasteful?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because those men already have boyfriends!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

:P

:lol: :lol: :lol: Holy Fuck!!!! LMFAO!!! :lol: :lol:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:lol: :stunned:

:lol: :lol: :lol: omg I love them!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

The guiness one :lol: :lol:

Fifi you reached 10000 congrats. :)

:blush: thank you :kiss:

Your welcome :blush:

heyyyyyyy!!! Busybeeburns, that was kick-ass, man!!!

 

Two thumbs up!! Way up!

 

:-)

 

:lol: :lol: :cool:

Did you know there are female hormones in beer?

-There are!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When you drink beer, you talk too much, you don't make sense, you cry, and you can't drive a car!