i've asked new eyes for Xmas :lol: :lol: :lol:

Photo in CNN headline news...

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

awwwww :lol:

 

i dun even know how your eyes look... blue? still no pictures of Lea...

it depends ... :lol:

hey Twinforlife...cool to see u liked that one! :-)

 

Lea...gotta see your pic now! :cool: :P

there are blue/green/grew :D

a guy goes to the doctor b/c he feels sick. the doctor tells him that he will have to give him some medicine' date=' only that he would have to insert it up his butt. so the guy gets the medicine and the goes home to his wife who asks him how it went, so he tells her. then the guy suddenly says "oh shit" and his wife asks what? he says "i just realized that the doctors hands were on my shoulders when he was giving me the medicine. "[/quote']

 

lol, that was funny, i was tellin my sis it, but in the middle of it i burst out laughing, haha. :lol:

just some fun things u can do during ur finals, lol

 

FUN FOR FINALS

 

hey why not try these? if you think your gonna fail anyways....

 

1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15

minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.

 

2. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.

 

3. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

 

4. Bring cheerleaders.

 

5. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

 

6. On the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

 

7. Bring pets.

 

8. Fifteen minutes into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.

 

9. Do the exam with crayons, paint, or fluorescent markers.

 

10. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

 

11. Come down with a BAD case of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

 

12. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams, try using Roman numerals.

 

13. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

 

14. Every five minutes, stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

 

15. Turn in the exam approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

 

16. Do the entire exam as if it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc..).

 

17. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

 

18. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

 

19. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.

 

20. Come in wearing a full knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.

 

21. Bring a friend to give you a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed, because you have bad circulation.

 

22. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

 

23. When you walk in, complain about the heat. Strip.

 

24. Try to get people in the room to do the wave.

 

25. Play Frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.

 

26. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

 

27. Get deliveries of candy, flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc... sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.

 

28. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

Four Jewish brothers left home for college, and they became successful

doctors and lawyers and prospered.

 

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They

discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother

who lived far away in another city.

 

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

 

The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."

 

The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her an S600 with a chauffeur."

 

The fourth said, "Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading

the Torah and you know she can't read it anymore because she can't see very

well. I met this Rabbi who told me about a parrot that can recite the

entire Torah. It took twenty rabbis 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge

to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the temple, but it was

worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

 

The other brothers were impressed. After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote:

 

"Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I

have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway.

 

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries

delivered, so I never use the Mercedes... and the driver you hired is a

Nazi. The thought was good. Thanks.

 

"Menachim, you give me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could

hold 50 people, but all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm

nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same.

 

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a

little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."

 

:stunned:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Pearls of Wisdom:

 

While in Boston I had to use the pay toilet down by the dock area. As I entered and the automatic door closed I noticed a scrawl on the wall.What I read sort of brings out the times that we lose in lifes game. "Here I sit, broken hearted, I payed my dollar but only farted.

 

Mr. X, Westfield, New Jersey

Pearls of wisdom, continued!

 

Never marry for money,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

but it's okay to hang around rich girls till you fall in love.

:lol:

woman's perspecting! :D

 

Coffee, chocolate, men...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

some things are just better rich.

:lol:

Question: What does the sign say over the fax machine at the Eastman School of Music?

Answer: If it ain't Baroque, don't fax it!

What did the over-eager coffin salesman say to the reluctant customer?

"We also have a nice selection of urns if you would like to think outside of the box."

NON OF THIS/THOSE JOKES 'LAFED' MY HEART OUT! :P

Thanks, Sternly! :stunned:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:P

:lol: Very corny jokes, but funny :)

Thanks' date=' Sternly! :stunned: [/quote']

 

 

YOU'RE WELCOME! :lol: :D :P

Jess, you should add some of your jokes too! :P

even if corny!

:D

 

meaty...corny...i'll take anY! :wink3:

Why did the Chicken cross the road?

 

 

Some famous people answer:

 

 

 

 

Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard working American.

 

Ernest Hemmingway: To die! In the rain.

 

Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

 

Louis Farrakhan: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

 

Bill Gates: I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook; and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

 

Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

 

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

 

Freud: The fact that you all are concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

 

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

 

Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

 

:sneaky:

THAT ONE MADE ME LAUGH! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Blonde Jokes:

 

Why was the blonde so proud of herself when she finished the jigsaw puzzle in six months?

Because the box said 2-4 years

 

 

Why did the Blond bring a ladder to the bar?

She heard that drinks were on the house.

 

 

A blonde, redhead, and brunette are sitting in a cabin and feeling hungry. So the brunette goes out to catch some food. She comes back with a deer. The blonde and redhead are amazed. "How did you do it?" they ask. "I found the tracks, followed the tracks, and killed the deer," she says. So the redhead decides she'll go out. She comes back with a bear. The blonde is amazed. "How'd you do it?" she asks. "Same as the brunette," she replies. So the blonde sees if she can do this. When she comes back, she's all bandaged up and in a wheelchair. The redhead and brunette ask what happened. The blonde says, "I found the tracks, followed the tracks, and got hit by the train."

 

:wink3: :smug:

:lol: :lol:

the worth is that i'm blond

you are? I didn't think you would be blond.

 

hmmm

:thinking:

 

So when do I get to see your picture? :/