There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the

world.

 

However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or

Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for

Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million according to the

population reference bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children

per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in each.

Different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical), this works out to 967.7 visits per second.

This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa

has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around

the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the

purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per

household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops

or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second,

3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest

man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

 

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized lego set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them. Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch!!).

 

600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air

resistance. This would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a

spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer

would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short,

they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from

a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to

acceleration forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems

ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015

pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

 

Therefore, even if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

 

QED... and Baa Humbug!!! :rolleyes: :)

:lol:

:lol: :o *brain explodes*

:stunned: Santa doesn't exist?!!! :cry: :lol: :dozey:

oh yeah, wise guy?

 

explain all the presents that appeared under our tree for all those years. OH!

....Santa doesnt exist?! :stunned: :rolleyes:

 

:P :lol:

....Santa doesnt exist?! :stunned: :rolleyes:

 

:P :lol:

He uses magic you big dumb-dumb!!!

 

:P

:lol: lmao! That's the funniest thing ever! I love it! :D

oh yeah, wise guy?

 

explain all the presents that appeared under our tree for all those years. OH!

 

you give me hope again Tom! :lol:

:lol:

explain all the presents that appeared under our tree for all those years. OH!

reverse-burglars?

and there goes the hope.... :stunned: :/

with todays gun laws, someone probably shot him when he came down the chimney, and since they didnt want santa to sue, they shot to kill :D

:stunned: :stunned:

thatll teach santa to give me coal!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i mean santa is nice :wideeyed:

LMAO! that smiley scared the shit out of me! LOL!!!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

reverse-burglars?

you gotta watch out for those...

That's why here in Spain we have the magic kings... M-A-G-I-C kings!! :D

lol, sounds like a basketball team

:wideeyed:

 

:lol: :lol: :lol:

isn't that smiley the scariest thing ever?

Lol I read your post and scrolled up and I didn't quite see it so i looked right at it and I yelled and jumped backward and started laughing.

:lol: kinda like this -> :o :lol:

That thing is funny and freaky at the same time :wideeyed:

It is! hahah..