My Chance - Original Song

[dms120]

So i made another song and i want to hear some opinions, it could be better recorded and perfomed, i could do better i know, but tell me if it has potencial. :)

 

Thanks

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3xho0otdGg

 

Lyrics:

 

Can i say that this time, i got it right?

because in the others i had no clue,

but now i have a clean sight

i know that is you.

 

Is your mind, really open?

for the words, i'm trying to say,

can you tell me the specific order?

i wanna say them in the right way.

 

Try to unlock, your heart

will it worth, the fight?

or it will end how it started?

with me in the shadow of your light.

 

But i will try,

maybe i will fall,

but i won't quit,

even if i have to crawl,

 

cause this is my chance for being yours,

this is my chance for being yours.

[dms120]

No opinions? I'm starting to cry :(

[MosesTheMarshmallow]

Don't cry. :p

 

I enjoyed it - your voice is pleasant both in the low and high range, and the guitar arpeggiation is pretty (not the rhythm is not perfect). The only thing I'd say is that the overall package seems somewhat repetitive, so you might want to think about how to produce the song in a way that moves it forward. For example, having more instrumentation as the song goes on (or more at the beginning and peeling it back).

 

If you have a chance, I'd appreciate if you could check out my band here:

[dms120]

I'm just kidding, but looks like crying works :D

 

So thanks, this song was recorded at first take, i know it's far from perfect, i just want to know if it has potential :)

 

But i know its a little repetitive, if i try recorded it with some other instruments i know it can change a little, but yeah i know it's too singular the melodie...

 

I have this song, my attenpt to have a true record, recorded by me xD

 

But about your band, i really thing have potential, Marco Polo has really nice lyrics and a very very enjoyable melodie, i see a little bit ok Queen in some parts, maybe REM in others, i liked it, really great.

 

And others piano instrumental are very pleasent too, i can imagine great songs in them :D

[MosesTheMarshmallow]

Wow I really like Easy Fall. It reminds me of Life is For Living (the album version) or something on Yellow House by Grizzly Bear. The guitars and synths all work together really well. The drums are good too. It's a very good balance between unique sounding and catchy. The instrumental at the end is really cool! The guitar solo and the synth are perfect there.

 

I think My Chance certainly has potential too. I listened to it again and it's got a really pleasant guitar-voice melody combo. Are you solo at this point?

 

Thanks for the kind words about our music..it's especially interesting to hear the comparisons because yours have followed the pattern of not actually reflecting who we were "trying" to sound like (Queen, REM).

[dms120]

Thanks, but i know thnat song is a little repetite too... it needs more power on some parts... but making music alone is very hard -.- so yes, i'm solo, i just do it for fun, i had a joy division cover band once, i was the guitarist, but i had to left because of the college.

 

Hearing the song again maybe i was mistaken about Queen comparision (maybe some backvocals) but i still see some REM sound alike on the voice and some arrangements, you've got to compare with some joyful songs of them, but of course its a little bit just, maybe more Arcade Fire becuase of the folk alike x) and of course a little bit of Happy Coldplay Era :D