your funny horoscope:

 

ARIES

You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding

 

TAURUS

Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss.

 

GEMINI

Your star sign denotes an air of duality in your character. Simply, you're a neurotic schizophrenic. A real fucking weirdo, the type of person who'd kill them self to win a bet.

 

CANCER

You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.

 

LEO

The adventurous type, always looking for thrills and willing to try anything. In other words, stupid. You have the IQ of a garden snail and will never amount to anything. Most Leos are living on the welfare.

 

VIRGO

You like the good things in life and you know how to enjoy them. But you're prone to bullshitting and you're a cheap bastard. Virgo men are usually queers and the majority of Virgo women are whores.

 

LIBRA

You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. This makes you an asshole. For your entire life people will make a complete prick out of you. Nobody will go to your funeral.

 

SCORPIO

You are sharp, a quick thinker and good at puzzles. However these are your only good traits. You screw small animals and love picking your nose. You should become a stunt performer with no helmet.

 

SAGITTARIUS

You are the romantic mushy type, soft-hearted and a lover of the arts. You are likely to import Dutch pornography and sex toys. Men even willing to rent Sleepless In Seattle to increase your odds for a romp in the sack.

 

CAPRICORN

You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centered cunt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.

 

AQUARIUS

You are the academic type and will probably end up working in the legal system. This means you are an absolute pervert, at the least a transvestite. Your ideal sexual partner is a Labrador puppy wearing fishnet tights.

 

PISCES

You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. Most people consider you to be the greatest living moron. You will continually fail. You're a prick.

 

 

source: http://www.portalmix.com/english/horoscope.htm

 

i`m a VIRGO

CANCER

You have a businesslike attitude to life and a knack for making money. You're an unscrupulous bastard who would sell relative's limbs to buy a mobile phone. You are likely to be murdered.

 

Well! i knew it! heheheh :P

ARIES

You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding

i don't think i'd be masturbating at a wedding, doing stuff with the bridesmaid maybe :sneaky:

CAPRICORN

You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centered cunt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.

 

:stunned: What? :stunned:

:rolleyes:

lmao

 

It suggest, I'm gay haha

ARIES

You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding

 

..... wow!! thats soooooooooooooooooo me!! :laugh3:

Mine was so wicked :lol:

ARIES

You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding

 

..... wow!! thats soooooooooooooooooo me!! :laugh3:

 

 

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

CAPRICORN

You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. A mean self-centered cunt and a closet homosexual. Your best friend is probably an altar boy.

 

:lol: :lol: I knew it

We're both gay Jeff then :sneaky:

"You get on well with most people because you're bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss. "

 

Ahhh so true.

:lol: :lol:

 

these were funny and scary at the same time

FUCKIN RIGHT I MASTURBATE AT WEDDINGS!!!

woah, im a whore :o i never knew...

ARIES

You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding

 

..... wow!! thats soooooooooooooooooo me!! :laugh3:

 

you're an Aries too.......

 

wow :D

ARIES

You tend to be headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don't give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn't care less. You're the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding

 

..... wow!! thats soooooooooooooooooo me!! :laugh3:

 

you're an Aries too

 

wow......

 

But I do care about people, like my two best friends and family :/

jinkies.. you're an Aries... I need to be reborn and change that!! :laugh3:

 

 

I care about people... but the horoscope was hilarious...

I was born March 30, 1984 :smug:

I didnt know that was in the aries range.. I thought you were a Taurus... :rolleyes:

 

 

god.. 84!! Your a baby!! haha! I was in second grade when you were born!! :embarrased:

I didnt know that was in the aries range.. I thought you were a Taurus... :rolleyes:

 

 

god.. 84!! Your a baby!! haha! I was in second grade when you were born!! :embarrased:

 

oh :lol:

 

 

but I've seen your pic, you look like you're 22 or 23 :wink3:

thank you.. :blush:

you welcome

 

2005 is when Albie is nicer than ever

 

watch and see

 

The Goats will unleash the kindness within me :lol:

:stunned:

why are you shocked for ? :D