How do you deal with it?

 

The last funeral I was at was of a friend who committed suicide, and I was so close to breaking down and crying that Im not sure how I held it in. For some reason I was really calm when I looked at other peoples shoes, just the part infront of the laces, where most people had a shine coming off of.

 

And then I realised that I do that at every funeral, its a weird way of dealing with the actual funeral process.

 

After that, I guess I just think about it but dont talk about it. It's something I feel I can understand better if I think it through in my own mind, instead of talking to people. The typical medicine is to get someone close to you and talk it out with them, but sometimes I see it as a distraction to comforting myself.

I have dealt with death every single day of my life in one way or another. I grew up an old family, so I experienced it a lot more than the average child/teen. My own mother died of breast cancer when I was 10, so death has been a huge part of my life. At such a young age, it was easier to deal with. I was not a "crier" so I would just internalize it and be strong for everyone else...maybe not the best idea.

 

Regardless of what is going on my life, I think about death constantly. I worry about who will die next and when it will happen. I have been dreading the death of my great uncle (who is like a father to me) ever since I was a little, little girl. Every single day. I think about it. It's maddening.

...I am dealing with death, right at this moment. This thread is incredibly ironic... How'd you know, Reilly?

 

It may not be a major death to some people, but this morning we put my dog that we've had for 12 years to sleep. He was probably about 15 or 16 years old, and definately lived a good, hardy life. But thinking about that doesn't make it any easier. He was like a brother to me. It's really like losing a major part of my family.

 

At the moment, I'm sort of numb to it. When I think about him actually being dead, I don't cry. But when I think about how he used to be, and the things he used to do, well... Then I do start to cry. So I'm pushing all that out of my mind and just not confronting it.

 

So I guess the way I'm dealing with death is ignoring it.

 

I can't ignore it for too long, though. Everytime I look at our other dog (a much younger one, but she and Timmy were definately in love) I start to cry. She just looks so confused and lost, a lot like how I might feel if I lost my actual brother. Poor thing.... It's hard to think about it, I wish he had gone naturally, in his sleep. But dogs hardly ever do that. I keep thinking, did we make the right decision? Which I'm sure we did. But something about that induced death just won't get off my mind.

 

 

Great. Now I'm getting upset again. So I'm going to forget about it and listen to my music... :(

...I am dealing with death, right at this moment. This thread is incredibly ironic... How'd you know, Reilly?

 

Sometimes I genuinely scare people with this kind of coincidence!

 

But dealing with a dog's death must be incredibly painful, because it's also a confusing time when you probably just arent sure what to make of it all.

 

If I lost my little dog back home in Ireland, I'd be really, really sad for a long amount of time. And its hard to explain why, hes just a friend that hangs around my house who I just love to see there.

 

I cant possibly hate him in any way like I can with my best friends, girlfriends, or family, and this is a unique relationship and a bond.

 

I hope you feel better Danielle.

God...animals break my heart. :(

Thanks Reilly :(

 

It sort of feels like losing a little piece of my childhood... Every memory I think back to, he's around. I don't know how to react to this. I didn't exactly see it coming. Like, we weren't all "Ok, next Wednesday at 12:30 pm we're putting Timmy to sleep!" instead it was just this morning my mom woke up and he couldn't walk, was going to the bathroom on himself, etc etc. He'd been like this for a few days now, and I guess we just knew it was time...

 

Sorry about blabbing about this, but I guess blabbing might be a good way to deal with it. Maybe the reality will hit me in a week or so when I really realize that he's not going to be greeting me at the door anymore.

 

*sigh*

Two weeks ago I was on my granny's funeral.I didnt even cry,dont know why,but all adults were crying,though she was old enough.

Sometimes I genuinely scare people with this kind of coincidence!

 

But dealing with a dog's death must be incredibly painful, because it's also a confusing time when you probably just arent sure what to make of it all.

 

If I lost my little dog back home in Ireland, I'd be really, really sad for a long amount of time. And its hard to explain why, hes just a friend that hangs around my house who I just love to see there.

 

I cant possibly hate him in any way like I can with my best friends, girlfriends, or family, and this is a unique relationship and a bond.

 

I hope you feel better Danielle.

I so know what you mean, dont know how i'm going to deal with the pain when my doggy dies.. he's 15 years old now and been there like forever so i'm used to see him everyday..hm dont even want to think about it , like you said its like a special bond. As for people in general, i dont know how to deal with pain when i lost someone close to me, most of the time i try to keep those feelings for myself and dont talk about it with anyone, apparently people see me as 'cold' cos i never let myself being seen crying.. but then again when i'm all alone i just break down and sob for hrs and feel pretty much like i'm dying cos the pain can be too much.. that's how i take it... dont ever bealive that bullshit that boys dont cry, gah... but so sorry to hear that about your friend reillo, hope you're ok.

Hehe thanks Ren, but I'm fine with it now.

...I am dealing with death, right at this moment. This thread is incredibly ironic... How'd you know, Reilly?

 

It may not be a major death to some people, but this morning we put my dog that we've had for 12 years to sleep. He was probably about 15 or 16 years old, and definately lived a good, hardy life.

 

I feel for you:( My 16 year old dog, lucky died a week ago today:( It is really difficult, but both of us obviously did something right for our pets to be with us for so long.

 

Death is a terribly sad, frightening, and in some ways stressful part of life:( I've had much more experience of it in my life than I thought I could ever deal with. When we lose someone close to us it takes a long time to recover - if ever. The most we can do is appreciate those we have in our lives each day, and not be afraid to let people know how much we care. Every second counts - cherish them and those you love.

Lil'eskimo, thank you. It means a lot to me to know other people understand. I'm sorry for the loss of your dog as well... :(

 

All I can say to the second half of your reply is "Amen".

"Death is merely the temporary end of a temporary phenomenon."

I suppose knowing that everything in life is impermanent helps as well.

"So sure is the death of his victory that grants us the whole life of advantage "...

 

For me the death is not the end.

I am a religious man,so the dead don't scare me much.

I don't want to die,but I am not afraid

"Death is merely the temporary end of a temporary phenomenon."

I suppose knowing that everything in life is impermanent helps as well.

 

Yeah but thinking like this hurts me so much during the actual dealing of death.

 

I think like this and then I hold back the sadness for about 2 or 3 MOMENTS and then I break down even worse.

Well.......I never know exactly how to deal with it....

 

When my uncle died 8 years ago very sudden because of a heart attack at the age of 47.....I first was just shocked....my mum and sister were crying....I just sat there without saying anything.....I didn't want to cry.....I somehow didn't allow myself to cry.....don't know why.....

at the funeral I had to bring the cross to the grave....in church almost everybody was crying....it was a very sad funeral.....even my dad cried a bit.....but I didn't......

I was 10 then........some years later I thought "Ok you didn't cry,because you were just to young to handle the whole situation!"

 

4 years later his daughter who was 24 then died because of drugs......

I didn't cry....I couldn't.........I was again very quiet in these days......just thought about it......I even went to the music club rehearsal that day!:undecided:

At the funeral which was really sad because the priest telled her short life story.......so many people were crying.......except me again......I was near tears....but i didn't allow myself again......

 

I don't know why........I think it is because I maybe want to show that I have a strong character and that I can deal with it.....maybe it was again I was too young....

 

I don't know how I would deal with it today......

 

I also don't know how to behave towards people who are realtions of people who died.....

Because everybody deals with it in a different way.....

 

some years ago the brother of a girl from my class died because of a car accident......

and I hoped that she wouldn#t come to school directly after it....because I didn't kjnow how to behave,......

but she came to school just some days after it......she stood on the school yard and cried.....teachers went to her and gave her their hand. and said sorry........all my friends went to her and gave her a hug......except me....I didn't know what to do.....i hope she understood and didn't think that i don't care.......

 

Some friends of mine said that we should all go to the funeral.....but I said no.......I didn#t even know the boy....wasn#t that close to the girl of my class......and the others weren't too.......it would just have been hypocritical and I don't like it if people go to funerals just to show that they are there......and just because they don#t want other people to talk about them in a bad way......

 

and now I think i wrote much....hehe.....