Oh dear you did not just ask that....:lol:

 

But what's wrong in asking those questions,what if I want to know how a person is,and how their life is going I am going to ask those questions...

 

That's why a question like "What have you been up to?" is far better than a plain "How are you?"

Yeah I guess so,well said mark...

Hi boardies. Nice weather we're having' date=' eh?[/quote']

 

 

Henry you stole my joke...:mean:

forced by my job I must say these words hundreds of times everyday:

 

hello!!!

thank you!!!

you're welcome!!

have a nice day!!!

how have you been doing?

 

sometimes I hate it...

To be honest....

I live in a little village....and here it is usual that you at least say Hello to everybody you meet.....whether you know the person or not........

And I like it...sometimes we do this thing of small-talk aswell....

I don't know.....but in a village it is like that....and here it is cool.....just a sign of being friendly!

To be honest....

I live in a little village....and here it is usual that you at least say Hello to everybody you meet.....whether you know the person or not........

And I like it...sometimes we do this thing of small-talk aswell....

I don't know.....but in a village it is like that....and here it is cool.....just a sign of being friendly!

 

I bet you know everyone in your Kaff, and everything about them (including the village idiot)!!:P

but i cant avoid those 'hello, how are you?" things.. i cant and i dont know how.. sometimes i use invisible but it made me feel guilty a little bit.

Ok, Crystal, these formalitites can be annoying sometimes but they’re just a way for beginning a conversation – a msn one, f.e - We could be more original and think about other ways for doing it but... which ones? Tell me... what would you say instead of “hello, how are you” ??

 

(well, I think I know your answer because you told me once: “tell me your secrets” *just kidding, don’t take me seriously* but it might sound weird if you would say that – at least the first time that you’d do it)

 

you talked about our worst day of our lives and then you’ve imagined a kind of conversation we could have with some friends, right?... yes, we could say “I’m fine” to some of them but I think there’re 2 things you should have to bear in mind:

 

1) Perhaps you don’t feel like talking about these problems you’re having in that moment, what you really want to is forget them and entertain you... and then, you’ll try to find a solution.

 

2) It’s possible that you don’t trust enough the person who you are talking to for telling your worst day.

 

 

Because no one really says what's on their mind to people when they greet eachother (unless it really is the truth' date=' but most of the time..its too general to be true)[/quote']

aha, that’s true – for me -. Most of times I don’t do it or if I do, it’s only to a very few people. However, there is an explanation for not telling them what we’re really thinking about: in my case it’s ‘cause I dont trust enough the person or ‘cause I think he/she wouldn’t understand or approve my opinion, so I prefer not to tell it. Anyway, I’m one of those person who wanna listen to the others rather than saying what I feel... until arrives a day which I only wanna be listened.

 

 

 

 

And about “the lies question”...

No, I think I am not lying if I’m not telling everything that is on my mind / thoughts or facts which I’m worried about. People is not that honest, I know I’m not... because I think we CAN’T be like that.

Rick:

 

There is nothing wrong with asking questions like: "How are you?" and that.

 

 

It's just so uniteresting to hear aaall the time!

 

 

 

all I hear and mostly what I say is...I am fine, I am doing okay... I mean...what is that!?

 

It's cliché ...

 

 

But I believe if you think enough and are not too lazy in the mind, you can think of something better than: "Hey, How are you?"

 

Like, if it is someone you see alot and they have told you something interesting liek, I took up bowling, then right away..you say hey, how is the bowling going..? and kinda get to the point (the juice :cheesy: )

 

 

Or if you don't know them....you still don't have to beat around the bush with pointless small talk like : "SO....do you like...stuff?"

 

Ask them directly what things they have had interests in, or if they have any news that made them happy... something! !!!

 

 

I just feel deep down, there is something better than what almost the WHOLE world has accepted as a normalacy in conversation. I think I get frustrated just thinking about it !

 

 

I guess this whole spill was about wanting a better way to formalities, but not being so sure of how to get there. I keep trying different things to spice up converstations. I think you have to have guts sometimes in order to veer from what people are used to . .. but you have to have some tact in getting there, but not crossing lines.

this guy at work annoys the hell out of me simply because he has the same conversation with me everytime we meet at work... it goes something like this:

 

HIM: hey hows it going?, im going good today, having fun at work? work isnt that bad it can be fun...oh wel have fun.

 

haha boring!!!

 

though some people are so stuck into the routine of saying the same thing over and over again. Sometimes i find myself slipping into that at work, because im continually speaking to customers. so i try and vary it strike conversation. or when people ask how i am, id reply with oh im going absoltely fabulous today great day to be out (well maybe not soo exagerated) keeps them interested and i dont go crazy

Henry you stole my joke...:mean:

hehe, sorry mate. You probably wouldn't have executed it as skillfully as I did, though. ;p

well, that's just normal

 

perhaps people don't want to be closer to someone else and that's why they just ask those stupid questions. mhhh ... at least they're talking ...

this guy at work annoys the hell out of me simply because he has the same conversation with me everytime we meet at work... it goes something like this:

 

HIM: hey hows it going?, im going good today, having fun at work? work isnt that bad it can be fun...oh wel have fun.

 

haha boring!!!

 

though some people are so stuck into the routine of saying the same thing over and over again. Sometimes i find myself slipping into that at work, because im continually speaking to customers. so i try and vary it strike conversation. or when people ask how i am, id reply with oh im going absoltely fabulous today great day to be out (well maybe not soo exagerated) keeps them interested and i dont go crazy

 

 

 

eeeee :disappointed: at my work, that is how the whole community seems to spin, conversation clones

I dont like formalities....but I prefer them then someone simply walking by and ignoring me...:embarassed:

 

I mean, 'hello' 'how are you' and the like are normal converstion openers....what I really hate is when a conversation like this stalls....once you ask how each other are. I mean, people dont sometimes know what to say afterwards! Especially when you dont know the person too well.

stalls are the worst.

 

 

and the majority just end up filling those with comments like "I hate akward silences!" which makes things ten times worse because

 

a) you have admitted to an akward conversation

 

and

 

b) you end up having to force over a fake smile/laugh

these formalities can be really akward sometimes, when sometimes i just try to avoid people i see so that i dont have to deal with the akwardness.

 

For example, everytime i see a person in the bus that i know i have to say hi, and if there's room usually id sit next to him/her. But since we're just aquantances, the way on the bus is usually quit uncomfortable.

 

Another example, and probably the most annoying one is the gym. Everytime I go to the gym i see a person i know from some place or other. And then u feel some sort of obligation to chit chat a bit. Then what happens is it really distracts u from working out, cause everytime you're near it's like 'Should we talk?". And in aerobics lessons it's the worse cause then i feel embarassed.

 

And when u see ppl through your car window when you're standing in a traffic light. They'd call you from their car and they'd say "How r u doing?" and then you're like "Fine, you?". And then u just sit there akwardly until the light changes... god i hate that!

these formalities can be really akward sometimes, when sometimes i just try to avoid people i see so that i dont have to deal with the akwardness.

 

For example, everytime i see a person in the bus that i know i have to say hi, and if there's room usually id sit next to him/her. But since we're just aquantances, the way on the bus is usually quit uncomfortable.

 

Another example, and probably the most annoying one is the gym. Everytime I go to the gym i see a person i know from some place or other. And then u feel some sort of obligation to chit chat a bit. Then what happens is it really distracts u from working out, cause everytime you're near it's like 'Should we talk?". And in aerobics lessons it's the worse cause then i feel embarassed.

 

And when u see ppl through your car window when you're standing in a traffic light. They'd call you from their car and they'd say "How r u doing?" and then you're like "Fine, you?". And then u just sit there akwardly until the light changes... god i hate that!

 

 

 

tah! those situations are just... well everyone has them. I say people just take some steps and make things spiced up a bit...cross that line and do what it takes to make formalities a thing of the past. And I don't mean....avoid them or be rude... No. I mean, little by little do things differently. Then more people with change too. That is what I am hoping for..

 

This guy has go the right idea...

 

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