Unless your a woman, I really don't think that circumstance is going to come up of your partner not being, "good." Trust me. Maybe, yes, if unexperienced, but trust me it will get a lot better.

I remember this quote someone said that why would you save sex until married, you wouldn't buy a car without test driving. I can kind of agree there, sex is obviously a big part of a relationship, what if that person you waited for doesn't end up being any good?

 

Agreed. This isn't to say Sex should be cheap, and you should be a floozy. Quite the contrary.

 

But just because you wait until your wedding night to have sex doesn't mean you've accomplished anything of real significance. 50% of marriages end in divorce now anyway. So the fact you've "pleased the tribe" by waiting only gives you a temporary psychic satisfaction.

Unless your a woman, I really don't think that circumstance is going to come up of your partner not being, "good." Trust me. Maybe, yes, if unexperienced, but trust me it will get a lot better.

 

Im not concerned at all:wink3:

 

 

Agreed. This isn't to say Sex should be cheap, and you should be a floozy. Quite the contrary.

 

But just because you wait until your wedding night to have sex doesn't mean you've accomplished anything of real significance. 50% of marriages end in divorce now anyway. So the fact you've "pleased the tribe" by waiting only gives you a temporary psychic satisfaction.

 

Or its for the purpose of making your partner happy...did you ever think of that benefit? For whatever reason if they want to wait, you should think of their happiness.

Or its for the purpose of making your partner happy...did you ever think of that benefit? For whatever reason if they want to wait, you should think of their happiness.

 

I could easily reverse this: Maybe your partner should think of your happiness and have sex with you!

I could easily reverse this: Maybe your partner should think of your happiness and have sex with you!

 

Yeah but my happiness is satisfied just being with the person, thats more important to me than sex right away.

Yeah but my happiness is satisfied just being with the person, thats more important to me than sex right away.

 

But you'd still admit it's an arbitrary decision on her part to withhold sex from you.

 

The "purity" issue for girls is something I suspect bubbles up again later on after marriage in the form of "I've got a headache" or whatever. Women often underestimate how important sex is in a relationship with a man.

But you'd still admit it's an arbitrary decision on her part to withhold sex from you.

 

The "purity" issue for girls is something I suspect bubbles up again later on after marriage in the form of "I've got a headache" or whatever. Women often underestimate how important sex is in a relationship with a man.

 

Call me "whipped" if you want but I wouldnt care if it was an arbitrary decision. Whatever she wants I will honor. Dont get me wrong, Id love to (:rolleyes::):dozey::wink3:) before marriage as much as the next guy, but if she wants to wait, what am I gonna do?

Call me "whipped" if you want but I wouldnt care if it was an arbitrary decision. Whatever she wants I will honor. Dont get me wrong, Id love to (:rolleyes::):dozey::wink3:) before marriage as much as the next guy, but if she wants to wait, what am I gonna do?

 

lol, don't take me very seriously, I'm just talking philosophically. I'm sure she's a great girl, she's just been misled by society.

 

Next thing you know she'll want a diamond ring or something! :rolleyes: (hint: it's a shiny rock that's not worth the space it inhabits, and De Beers makes a fortune off making people think they're rare - they're not.)

But society tells her to do the exact opposite and put it all out there.

 

Sorry to jump in. :uhoh:

 

Im thinking of waiting until marriage, I know that seems like a cliche and dated idea in today's society, but I don't want to do it with just anyone, and it just feels like the right thing to do. But all my guy [and girl] friends think that it's some kind of torture method, or that I want to string guys along, which isn't the case.

I'm not one of those religious freaks that thinks that everyone should wait, that's just my choice. You should do it when you're comfortable and want to- not just to satisfy your significant other.

lol, don't take me very seriously, I'm just talking philosophically. I'm sure she's a great girl, she's just been misled by society.

 

Next thing you know she'll want a diamond ring or something! :rolleyes: (hint: it's a shiny rock that's not worth the space it inhabits, and De Beers makes a fortune off making people think they're rare - they're not.)

 

 

Hey, not to be too defensive, but she is not misled by society, everything she does is her own choice. And shes not some girl who will take advantage of how much she means to me and demand a diamond ring or something. She too would just be happy with a great relationship (which Im hoping is her relationship with me)

 

DOnt take me too seriously either, its just this is the first Ive talked about her on this forum, so Im a little, I dont know, apprehensive I guess.

 

But society tells her to do the exact opposite and put it all out there.

 

Sorry to jump in. :uhoh:

 

Im thinking of waiting until marriage, I know that seems like a cliche and dated idea in today's society, but I don't want to do it with just anyone, and it just feels like the right thing to do. But all my guy [and girl] friends think that it's some kind of torture method, or that I want to string guys along, which isn't the case.

I'm not one of those religious freaks that thinks that everyone should wait, that's just my choice. You should do it when you're comfortable and want to- not just to satisfy your significant other.

 

Good, you should do what you want and dont let anyone make you do anything. Way to stand up for your beliefs!

You're right, Jenika, society tells us to be profligate and conservative, but nothing in between.

 

I'm saying there's room for people who are independent-minded and don't need a ceremony and government documents to let them know when it's "okay" to have sex. Like I said, that doesn't mean you have sex with all your girlfriends/boyfriends. It just means you treat sex like it should be treated - as a personal matter of high emotional importance.

 

It annoys me when people say they're "waiting until marriage" because then it sounds like you've gotta get dressed up and eat a cake and dance before you can have sex. The correct answer should be "I'm waiting until I'm sure this person won't emotionally harm me". I suspect the marriage thing is tossed in there to abdicate her from having to admit she doesn't fully trust you yet!

You're right, Jenika, society tells us to be profligate and conservative, but nothing in between.

 

I'm saying there's room for people who are independent-minded and don't need a ceremony and government documents to let them know when it's "okay" to have sex. Like I said, that doesn't mean you have sex with all your girlfriends/boyfriends. It just means you treat sex like it should be treated - as a personal matter of high emotional importance.

 

It annoys me when people say they're "waiting until marriage" because then it sounds like you've gotta get dressed up and eat a cake and dance before you can have sex. The correct answer should be "I'm waiting until I'm sure this person won't emotionally harm me". I suspect the marriage thing is tossed in there to abdicate her from having to admit she doesn't fully trust you yet!

 

I get what you're saying. And hey, the girl Im thinking of hasnt necessarily said the word "marriage", she probably just wants to make sure the relationship will last. But if marriage is her own line that needs to be crossed, Im okay with it.

 

Sorry if I seem a little defensive, Saffire. I respect your differing opinions;)

Aha! Perfect. Since she never said marriage, then she's likely just holding off till she's sure she really loves you. I can totally respect that.

Yes, and it's Ok to be somewhere in between. :) It's actually pretty normal.

In our society there are a lot of extremes. Either you have sex with all of your significant others and are a slut, or you wait and everyone thinks you're stringing that person along.

And it's not like I'm not going to wait until my honeymoon to sex, I just want to find the right person that I feel comfortable sharing everything with, including sex. Some people see marriage as binding, they want someone in it for the long haul, not just sex or whatever else.

Aha! Perfect. Since she never said marriage, then she's likely just holding off till she's sure she really loves you. I can totally respect that.

 

Please dont use the "L" word. Although I feel that way, Im very superstitious and kind of believe if you say it too much it wont come true and she wont feel that way too. I know that must sound dumb but I dont want to "jinx" it.

Yes, and it's Ok to be somewhere in between. :) It's actually pretty normal.

In our society there are a lot of extremes. Either you have sex with all of your significant others and are a slut, or you wait and everyone thinks you're stringing that person along.

And it's not like I'm not going to wait until my honeymoon to sex, I just want to find the right person that I feel comfortable sharing everything with, including sex. Some people see marriage as binding, they want someone in it for the long haul, not just sex or whatever else.

 

I personally believe in only having sex with someone you want to be with forever, but I understand why other people feel different.

Please dont use the "L" word. Although I feel that way, Im very superstitious and kind of believe if you say it too much it wont come true and she wont feel that way too. I know that must sound dumb but I dont want to "jinx" it.

 

The L word? L...Lesbians? (j/k, lol)

 

But I actually agree with you 2732. In my ideal world I'd only have sex with who I'll be with forever...

God, this really must be the friendliest place in the world. In the real world (lol) I always get made fun of and called gay when I say things like these. All the guys around me believe in having as much sex as possilbe with only "hot girls". And when I talk about "the L word" they say its only for gays and that I dont deserve to have sex. that's why I dont share my opinions around most people, but I "love" how this forum is so accepting. Thank you Saffire and blackchickintheback, youve made my day.

I think sex has become too physical and not emotional anymore. To be emo and quote Thursday "they stole the love from our lives to put the sex on the radio."

God, this really must be the friendliest place in the world. In the real world (lol) I always get made fun of and called gay when I say things like these. All the guys around me believe in having as much sex as possilbe with only "hot girls". And when I talk about "the L word" they say its only for gays and that I dont deserve to have sex. that's why I dont share my opinions around most people, but I "love" how this forum is so accepting. Thank you Saffire and blackchickintheback, youve made my day.

 

lol that's because you're 16 going on 25. Other guys your age are more interested in bragging about all the sex they've had (which probably isn't much, and it if is, it was probably intensely boring and clumsy).

I think sex has become too physical and not emotional anymore. To be emo and quote Thursday "they stole the love from our lives to put the sex on the radio."

 

Exactly. This is part of the reason I hate "Sex and the City" with a passion, even if I've never seen it. It just commoditizes sex and makes it something to laugh about and discuss with your friends.

I know plenty of older dude's in their mid to late 20's who only care about sex. I get crap ALL the time from my friends for being a virgin. Always trying to get me to hook up with women at the party.

The other day my friend called Gainesville a "Huge Orgy" because everyone's sleeping with everyone, its so hollow.

Sex should be something meaningful. I shouldn't say "should be", you can do what you want. Do whatever makes you happy, but you shouldn't make people feel bad for NOT having sex and choosing to wait.

 

Aw, and I liked Sex and the City. :P Not for the sex talks, they talked about real relationship issues too.

lol that's because you're 16 going on 25. Other guys your age are more interested in bragging about all the sex they've had (which probably isn't much, and it if is, it was probably intensely boring and clumsy).

 

Yeah, Ive been told Im 16 going on 60 before as well. But whatever, if I end up happy, I dont care what they say.