i'm in first year at uni. when i went to school i used to know pretty much everyone and now that i'm at uni it feels like going into a room of strangers.

 

it's the one thing i hate about uni. some people on my course seem to be really nice but we're in different groups in every module which makes it very hard to get to know each other. i wouldn't even know the names of most people i've spoken to quite a few times.

 

i've got my friends here so i don't rely on making friends at uni, still i'd like to get to know the people on my course better.

 

i've just discussed this with someone, who said something similar and i'm wondering how other students feel about it.

 

i thought that it just takes time to get to know everyone and that it's probably a first year thing. however, i heard people who finished uni saying the same.

I can sorta relate to that. In my next year of high school, there are heaps of new kid, tons...and it reminds me of year 6 and year 7, both those year the amount of kids nearly tripled...

 

And I was like freaking out because I thought I wouldn't have an friends but it turns out that both those time there were new people, I met some of my closest friends....

 

But I imagine Uni must be a lot bigger...

I can sorta relate to that. In my next year of high school, there are heaps of new kid, tons...and it reminds me of year 6 and year 7, both those year the amount of kids nearly tripled...

 

And I was like freaking out because I thought I wouldn't have an friends but it turns out that both those time there were new people, I met some of my closest friends....

 

But I imagine Uni must be a lot bigger...

 

i imagine i'm gonna make friends at some point because as i said some people on my course seem to be really nice people.

 

but the fact that people, who finished with uni say exactly the same scares me.

 

i never thought i was gonna say that but i miss school. there was always someone to talk to. the same goes for work...

A few years ago, my brother took me to his the University where his partner went, it was a little strange because I was 13 and I got a lot of strange looks from some of the students...

Sally, I know what you mean. I've just finished school, and I already miss it.

Its kinda sad knowing that you're not gonna see your friends on a day-to-day basis anymore.

 

But I'm sure that the first few weeks will be a bit lonely/awkward, but you'll make friends soon enough - like you said.

so true! that's how i felt last year when i was in a gap year and everyone else moved away.

 

i've moved away myself now... i'm quite happy with my life at the moment and i made some great friends. i just feel lonely at uni.

I'm taking a gap year! I'm kinda apprehensive about it, cos a lot of my friends are going straight into uni. But I still reckon it's worth having a gap year.

 

Is it??

it wasn't worth it in my case but many of my friends who did it feel different about it.

 

the most important thing is that you plan what you wanna do. if you wanna relax after finshing school that's fair enough but you should know what you wanna do afterwards.

yeah. well, i plan to go overseas in my gap year. And I'm fairly sure what I want to do at uni, but the gap year gives me an extra year to think it over.

i guess it's a good idea then! where are you planning to go?

 

i spent most of the year working and i absolutely hated my job :uhoh:

Yeh, I have to work, so I have enough money to go.

Um, Im planning to go to Europe, mainly England though.

(im from australia).

i see, most people do. all i meant is that it's no good if you've got big plans and you end up working all year.

 

cool! i'm studying in england and loads of people over here wanna go to australia!

wow, i was going to start a similar thread in like a week or so!!

 

i start college (what we generally call uni in america) in 2.5 weeks for the first time because i took a gap semester and i'm totally freaked out, not because of the academic differences, but because i've got to break into a pre-defined social scene and have to MEET people for the first time (i went to the same school from the time i was 4 to last june and have had generally the same group of friends since kindergarten).

 

i already know exactly what you mean about old friends, though. even though i havent gone and made new ones yet, i already feel a huge disconnect with my old friends because my life of having a job and doing whatever i wanted is worlds different than their college lives (which seem kind of mundane to me now that i've been living like an adult for 8 months). i hung out with them today, and the difference in us all was tragic. i feel like i cant relate to them anymore.

 

so does anyone have any advice for all of us that need to meet people? i'm open for anything.

Ah Sally you're from Liverpool like moi! If you need a Coldplay friend I'd be happy to help out lol. I agree making friends at uni can be a nightmare. Ending up with people you don't really like and feeling obliged to sit by them in lectures is soul destroying, for me anyway.

wow, i was going to start a similar thread in like a week or so!!

 

i start college (what we generally call uni in america) in 2.5 weeks for the first time because i took a gap semester and i'm totally freaked out, not because of the academic differences, but because i've got to break into a pre-defined social scene and have to MEET people for the first time (i went to the same school from the time i was 4 to last june and have had generally the same group of friends since kindergarten).

 

i already know exactly what you mean about old friends, though. even though i havent gone and made new ones yet, i already feel a huge disconnect with my old friends because my life of having a job and doing whatever i wanted is worlds different than their college lives (which seem kind of mundane to me now that i've been living like an adult for 8 months). i hung out with them today, and the difference in us all was tragic. i feel like i cant relate to them anymore.

 

so does anyone have any advice for all of us that need to meet people? i'm open for anything.

 

yeh, i can relate to that. its sad when you catch up with old friends and you realise how much you've all changed.

As sad as I am from leaving friends, I'm also semi-excited about meeting new people.

But like I said earlier, I gotta wait a year with my gap year. Which will suck, cos I'll get to Uni and some of my friends will be in 2nd year, while ill only be starting 1st year. hmm.

the university world

 

wow, i was going to start a similar thread in like a week or so!!

 

i start college (what we generally call uni in america) in 2.5 weeks for the first time because i took a gap semester and i'm totally freaked out, not because of the academic differences, but because i've got to break into a pre-defined social scene and have to MEET people for the first time (i went to the same school from the time i was 4 to last june and have had generally the same group of friends since kindergarten).

 

i already know exactly what you mean about old friends, though. even though i havent gone and made new ones yet, i already feel a huge disconnect with my old friends because my life of having a job and doing whatever i wanted is worlds different than their college lives (which seem kind of mundane to me now that i've been living like an adult for 8 months). i hung out with them today, and the difference in us all was tragic. i feel like i cant relate to them anymore.

 

so does anyone have any advice for all of us that need to meet people? i'm open for anything.

Hmm.. College is a study & then party atmosphere. You'll have to readjust to being like a kid again!!:laugh3: I think it's easy to make friends - just be open to new people; remember to have fun on occasion; and everyone's in the same boat pretty much (unless you're wealthy).. Just relax, and it'll all be fine..:thumbsup:

Well what I can tell you from my own experience is that for me it was quite easy to make friends at uni BUT I have to add here that we had some special "getting to know each other " days...I think if the "Fachschaft" wouldn't have organised this I would feel rather like you about this.....so I was really lucky there....and now I'm happy about those friends I made...:D

well. i know how you feel. i've been at uni since October, and it was hard for first months. now i have people to hang out with ... i don't know ... if you want to attend an event, just ask people if anyone's going too and offer them to go with them. usually works. :) and go to parties ... you'll surely meet new people.

 

but these academic things are scary :uhoh:

i already know exactly what you mean about old friends, though. even though i havent gone and made new ones yet, i already feel a huge disconnect with my old friends because my life of having a job and doing whatever i wanted is worlds different than their college lives (which seem kind of mundane to me now that i've been living like an adult for 8 months). i hung out with them today, and the difference in us all was tragic. i feel like i cant relate to them anymore.

 

so does anyone have any advice for all of us that need to meet people? i'm open for anything.

 

i felt similar last year. especially because i went to different country and most of my friends stayed here we don't have a lot in common anymore. i've still got some great friends from school but i lost touch with quite a few people when i lived abroad. i however, am still in touch with the people whom i'd call 'real' friends.

 

Ah Sally you're from Liverpool like moi! If you need a Coldplay friend I'd be happy to help out lol. I agree making friends at uni can be a nightmare. Ending up with people you don't really like and feeling obliged to sit by them in lectures is soul destroying, for me anyway.

 

i'm not actually from there, i lived there a year ago. i then went back home and returned to liverpool when i started with uni. i like the city a lot and most people are very friendly.

 

i don't even feel obliged to sit next to some people because i really don't know them well enough. but i imagine it might be even worse.

 

at which uni are you?

 

Well what I can tell you from my own experience is that for me it was quite easy to make friends at uni BUT I have to add here that we had some special "getting to know each other " days...I think if the "Fachschaft" wouldn't have organised this I would feel rather like you about this.....so I was really lucky there....and now I'm happy about those friends I made...:D

 

that's cool! we didn't really have that. there was freshers' fair where we got loads of free stuff and that's about it. there were many parties of course but i just went with the people i already knew...

 

well. i know how you feel. i've been at uni since October, and it was hard for first months. now i have people to hang out with ... i don't know ... if you want to attend an event, just ask people if anyone's going too and offer them to go with them. usually works. :) and go to parties ... you'll surely meet new people.

 

but these academic things are scary :uhoh:

 

i do have people to hang out with, they just don't happen to be at my uni. i got to know quite a few people through my housemates who are at a different uni as well. i also go to parties... maybe i really should ask them if they are going to a party/ an event, it just feels kinda weird because i really don't know them.

yeah it's strange, i know. i can say that i can invite those i hang around with to parties etc., but it's strange... we all have different backgrounds and only uni is the thing we have in common. at least at the beginning.

I'm in my second year of University. Last year I made a total of zero new friends, while this year I made 2 or 3 friends. That may not seem like alot, but it does make a big difference when you have a good friend in all of your classes.

 

I guess this year I was more intentional about trying to get to know a few more people than last year.

 

See for me it isn't really necessary to make new friends at University because the majority of my friends from high school go to the same University as me. And even better my 2 best friends who went to different high schools than me are at the same university...and a couple other friends from out of town are there too.

 

I think if you live in residence it is easier to make more friends just because you are around the same people all the time. If you're like me and live at home, you just go in in the morning/afternoon, and leave later on that afternoon/night and have other friends you can hang out with.

 

I don't know, last year I found University to be the biggest challange I've faced in life, but with a new attitude this year, things have been much better.

well, you already know what I think about this, Sal.

 

I just wanted to add that I find it quite important the fact of making new friends at the beginning, the first days that you're going to uni, because I have realised that in most cases these will be your "permament" friends.

 

I think if you live in residence it is easier to make more friends just because you are around the same people all the time. If you're like me and live at home, you just go in in the morning/afternoon, and leave later on that afternoon/night and have other friends you can hang out with.

 

I second that.

 

People who live in residence make friends much earlier than the ones who just go to uni and afterwards go back home (it's my case, as well). I think this happens because they spend the entire week (or almost) living there and since they are alone, they have the need to make friends so as to not feel that alone and I bet they're more open to new people...

i don't live in halls [they are way too expensive] i live in a shared flat with other students. i imagine it's far harder to make friends if you live in a different town, like many people who live with their parents do. my flatmates mainly got to know each other and their friends in the city when they lived in halls. most people don't seem to make many friends at uni.

most people don't seem to make many friends at uni.

 

this is really sad because people sell the idea that you'll make loads of friends at uni, that you're gonna spend the time of your life with them and this is not necessarily true.

i dont know, i think ill be able to meet people that will become my friends, people that i like at least a little, but i'm pretty pessimistic about finding really GREAT friends. the sorts of friends i have for a lifetime and invite to my wedding and value highly. all of my friends that i have now i've known for at least 10 years, and i just think that time has a lot to do with friendship.

and i dont know, i just relate a LOT better to adults--i always have. i value their friendship more. it was easy to have lots of adult friends at my old school (it was very very small and the teachers were also our friends), but i think there will be much less opportunity to have these sorts of friends at uni.