Aw thanks guys, glad you enjoyed it! :nice:

 

And keep an eye out for Chelsea's (ApproximatelyInfinite)... that should be awesome! :smiley:

Aw thanks guys, glad you enjoyed it! :nice:

 

And keep an eye out for Chelsea's (ApproximatelyInfinite)... that should be awesome! :smiley:

 

:rolleyes: not as awesome as yours, sem...mine's less epic :P and it's kind of an explanitory scenario rather than a cool mini-story with a beginning middle and end...

 

(but i went to the library today and got my paper done in an HOUR...it's amazing how fast i can get things done once i physically remove myself from coldplaying...)

 

anyway, yes, it might even be up tomorrow.

wohooo! i'm excited :dance:

Phil: 90%! Mwahahaha!

 

 

Sounds like me when a download is done:thinking::D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Zemy your story is epic :lol:

:rolleyes: not as awesome as yours, sem...mine's less epic :P and it's kind of an explanitory scenario rather than a cool mini-story with a beginning middle and end...

 

(but i went to the library today and got my paper done in an HOUR...it's amazing how fast i can get things done once i physically remove myself from coldplaying...)

 

anyway, yes, it might even be up tomorrow.

Oooh an hour? :dance: I'm sure you're glad thats out of the way.

 

wohooo! i'm excited :dance:

So am I! :dance:

Zemy your story is epic :lol:

Thanks! :nice:

I wanna make one now!!

yes! make one! it can't just be me and semy providing the entertainment around here. even though i mess up threads and semy makes awesome pringles-related threads in the lounge like they're our jobs.

 

more people need to get in on the fun!

^Haha, but we both make awesome threads, you made that smiley one remember? And we just happen to mess them up too.

 

Yes I agree, you have to make one ravrat. The more the merrier.

Oooohkay, here’s my story. I’m putting it in spoilers because it’s pretty long (like 7 pages in Microsoft Word!), but yeah. It’s not as epic as Semy’s, and it has less of a plot, but it serves more as an explanatory sort of story for what happened on 3/17, the day we found the new site screencaps. It was inspired by this post of mine in the “BIG SCOOP” thread created on that day:

THEY KNOW WE KNOW!!! :dance:

 

they're either tearing their hair out over the mistake, or they're laughing their asses off that it took so long for us to find. but i like that they know we know

 

HIII, whoever from the coldplay camp is reading this!!! :D

 

ooh, boy, i'm punchy! :cheesy:

 

And there are a couple of jokes/references in there that some might not get if they don’t hang in the lounge much, but if you really feel the need to know, check out “the Official *Pringles* Thread” by the superawesome Zemy101 and the “Holy Muffins!” thread created by the lovely Mimixxx in the Lounge. It might also be good to look at the “Big Scoop: NEW COLDPLAY SITE—PROBABLE ALBUM TITLE: FAMOUS OLD PAINTERS” thread here in the Coldplay section, created by the now legendary and godly Coldpatrix, since that’s the basis for all this anyway. In Microsoft Word, it’s in the nice, official industry screenplay format (I write screenplays, and this is NOT one of my finest works :rolleyes:), but I can’t get that here, so blah.

 

Basically, I just went a bit crazy while procrastinating schoolwork. I don’t actually think Chris is an emotional wreck or that Guy is a drunk. It’s satire, I guess. Well, that term doesn’t fit exactly right. Anyway.

 

SOMEONE ELSE WRITE ONE!! IT’S REALLY FUN!!

 

 

 

 

17 March 2008, around 4PM GMT

 

FADE IN:

 

 

 

CHRIS MARTIN, a skinny, slightly neurotic musician with curly blond hair, and JONNY BUCKLAND, a tall guitarist with a newly pornstache-free face, sit at a mixing desk in a dim recording studio, slaving over a song playing through the speakers by twiddling levers and pushing buttons. CHRIS suddenly groans in frustration and throws up his arms.

 

CHRIS: It’s no use! We’re never going to get “42” right!

 

CHRIS throws his head down on the desk.

 

JONNY: Ah, it’s alright, Chris. Let’s just have a break for a bit and then we’ll go back to it. [Aside] Not that it needs fixing...

 

CHRIS: But we haven’t got the time! The album’s already late as it is!

 

JONNY: We can afford a little rest. You can even go on coldplaying.com if you’d like.

 

CHRIS: [brightening] Really?

 

JONNY: Really really.

 

CHRIS perks up and rolls his chair over to the mac computer across the room, eagerly signing on. JONNY rolls his eyes and pops open a beer from the mini fridge.

GUY BERRYMAN, a short but dark and handsome bass player, and WILL CHAMPION, a bald but nevertheless appealing and kind-looking drummer, swagger into the room.

 

CHRIS: Where have you lot been?!

 

GUY: Don’t pop a blood vessel, Chris, we’ve been laying down the beats for “Lost!”

 

CHRIS: You better have kept the hip-hop vibe!

 

GUY: [obviously lying] Erm...yeah, of course we did, Chris.

 

WILL: [whispering to Jonny] We didn’t. It was horrid. We’re not the ones that did the collaborations with bloody Kanye and Jay-Z. If Chris wants it, he can do it himself.

 

Satisfied, Chris turns back to the computer, where the “Coldplaying.com Messageboard” main page is visible.

 

WILL: So what have you lads been working on?

 

JONNY: Still hacking away at “42.”

 

WILL: For God’s sake! It’s FINE. It doesn’t need anything else! Just leave it. We built our sound on Radiohead anyway. Might as well continue down that road.

 

JONNY: [mumbling] That’s what I said.

 

CHRIS: Oooh! Look! More pictures of me in the “Post pictures of the gorgeous Chris” thread!

 

No one listens to him.

 

GUY: [eyeing Jonny’s beer] Where’d you get that?

 

JONNY: Fridge. But we’re fresh out.

 

GUY: Agh! This is a nightmare! I’ve got to run out to the shop for more.

 

WILL: [reclining in a chair] Would you pick up some Pringles while you’re at it? I love those symmetrical, beautiful sinosidic crisps.

 

CHRIS: Ooh, there’s pictures of you too, Jonny.

 

Jonny throws a casual glance at the screen, but does a double-take.

 

JONNY: Oh my God!

 

CHRIS: I know, that one’s rather good, isn’t it?

 

JONNY: No! Look!

 

He frantically points at a thread entitled “BIG SCOOP: NEW COLDPLAY SITE—PROBABLE ALBUM TITLE: FAMOUS OLD PAINTERS.”

 

Chris’s eyes bug out of his head like this: :freak:. He opens the thread to see the screenshots of the new Coldplay.com. The four gather around the computer screen with shocked faces.

 

WILL: Bloody hell! How did this coldpatrix guy get ahold of this?!

 

GUY: Fucking hell. This isn’t good.

 

CHRIS: Oh God! Oh God oh God oh God!

 

JONNY: Well, it can’t be as bad as it seems.

 

CHRIS: [exploding] What do you mean it can’t be as bad as it seems? They’ve got the bloody screencaps that Slender Fungus did for us! They know everything!

 

WILL: Well, they can’t know everything. The links don’t work, see?

 

CHRIS: [ignoring him] Oh God, this is terrible! How did this happen?!

 

WILL: It looks like they were under the Slender Fungus link at the bottom of the page! How did they get there?

 

CHRIS: Agh! What professional webdesigner puts the potential site layouts somewhere that’s PUBLICALLY AVAILABLE?!

 

WILL: Maybe we should fire them.

 

JONNY: Too bad their layouts are kick-ass.

 

GUY: [mumbling] I should have run out for beers earlier.I’m never going to get a chance now.

 

JONNY: Heh, it looks like they think the title is going to be “Famous Old Painters.”

 

WILL: Ha! Look at that! I guess you’d guess that, looking at the style and all.

 

GUY: [mumbling] Well, it should be the title. “Viva La Vida or Death and All his Friends...” we’re going to be mocked for years for that one.

 

CHRIS: Holy muffins! What do we do?!

 

Guy, Jonny, and Will freeze and look at Chris like he’s got two heads.

 

WILL: Holy muffins? Who says THAT?

 

CHRIS: [waving his hand and brushing it off] that ApproximatelyInfinite girl on Coldplaying uses it. But never mind that: what do we DO?!

 

GUY: We stop saying “holy muffins,” that’s what we do. You sound like a twat.

 

JONNY: First, we take down those screencaps.

 

WILL: Ah, what’s the point now? They’re all over the forum. They’re all freaking out! Look at all the e-screams!

 

JONNY: This is pretty hysterical. Look at them all going crazy! They’re using that dancing smiley a lot.

 

CHRIS: It’s not hysterical! It’s an absolute disaster.

 

JONNY: Come off it, Chris, it’s really not so bad. They don’t really know anything, see? They haven’t even guessed the title right. They’re just excited because it’s something new.

 

CHRIS ignores him and puts his head in his hands.

 

JONNY: Alright, alright, we’ll call Slender Fungus and get them to take down the screencaps.

CHRIS nods with his face covered by his hands.

 

GUY: Ooh! I’ll go do that!

 

GUY bolts from the room very quickly.

 

FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER...

 

WILL and JONNY are sitting at the computer, laughing and having a grand old time reading the “BIG SCOOP” thread. Chris is sitting underneath the desk in the fetal position.

 

JONNY: This is brilliant!

 

WILL: It’s got to be the fastest-growing thread since X&Y came out! Y’know, we should come here more often. I kind of see why Chris is on it all the time: it’s hysterical!

 

JONNY: They’re actually trying to decipher the lyrics from the layout in Chris’s chickenscratch handwriting!

 

CHRIS gives an anguished moan from beneath the desk.

 

WILL: I can’t believe they’re getting as far as they are with it! After 10 years I still have no idea what the hell he’s writing.

 

JONNY: That Zemy one even edited the picture in photoshop to make it easier to read. That’s dedication.

 

WILL: They’re even changing their signatures and avatars now to show the new site art. God, they’re obsessed.

 

GUY comes back to the room, laden with four six-packs of Stella beer. The other three look at him expectantly.

 

JONNY: Well?!

 

GUY: Well the shop was having a two-for-one on Stella, so I got four.

 

The other three smack their foreheads.

 

WILL: Did you get me my Pringles, at least?

 

GUY: Oh yeah, here they are.

 

GUY tosses WILL a tube of paprika-flavored Pringles.

 

WILL: Aww, don’t you know that original flavor is the best? Whatever, any sort of Pringles are superior to all other non-stackable crisps. Though I wish you’d gotten the low-fat kind. These are going to make me excessively pudgy.

 

CHRIS: WELL?! Did you ring Slender Fungus or not?!

 

GUY: Erm...

 

JONNY: Oh, hell.

 

JONNY whips out his cell phone and dials.

 

GUY cracks open a beer and settles into a chair, looking quite satisfied. WILL happily munches on Pringles. They both offer some of their respective foods to CHRIS, but he’s too worried to bother. JONNY chatters on the phone in the background.

 

WILL: I eat nothing but Pringles! Well, not really. But still. Those Lays STAX are imposters. People are loyal to the Pringle.

 

CHRIS: How are you lot not freaking out?!

 

GUY: Eh, what’s done is done. I just think it’s a shame that this discovery’s ruined our surprise site-launch next week. That had the potential to be pretty kick-ass.

 

JONNY closes his phone with a snap and turns to the other three.

 

JONNY: Ok, the screencaps are down. I gave them an earful about what morons they are, but whatever. It’s not like those dates up there were even accurate, so no harm’s done.

 

CHRIS makes a spluttering coughing noise, indicating he thinks otherwise.

 

JONNY: Alright, alright, I have a plan. This is what I think we should do: rather than just launching the fully-functional site next week like we planned, I think we should just let a little information leak out every day for the rest of the week to give these kids something to be excited about. A bit of a Coldplay Hanukkah, if you will.

 

WILL: Coldplay Hanukkah? What do you mean?

 

JONNY: Like tomorrow we let Rolling Stone publish the title and release date online. And then we get Phil to write another note for Wednesday when we’re in Maine telling them that we’re hammering out the tracklist. And then on Thursday we let Rolling Stone publish that “In the Studio” article they wrote back in February. And Friday, Phil puts up another note with the tracklisting and album art and “Violet Hill.” Simple.

 

GUY: Pheh! Like Phil will EVER get those things up on time! We’ve got to badger him for days every time we need him to post something.

 

WILL: Well, tell him to write the Wednesday one NOW. By that time it’ll be ready.

 

The other three look at him like they know better. (like this: :dozey:)

 

WILL: Alright, perhaps not. But get him to do it all the same.

 

JONNY: Does that sound better, Chris? In that way we make the fans go crazy with excitement still. They’ll love us for giving them the best week ever.

 

CHRIS: I guess it does. But it’s not like we can rely on Phil to get those posts up on time. Especially not that second one. He always gets so excited by our progress that he can’t manage to write a good entry for the site!

 

GUY: Well it’s worth a shot anyway. Let Coldplay Hanukkah commence!

 

WILL: I’ll make the calls.

 

The four guys break up and go into separate rooms in the studio, We see them all getting ready to put things in order for the rest of the week, but each one of them gets a guilty, devilish look like this :sneaky: and sits down at their respective computers. We see them each signing on to the coldplaying.com messageboard as very well-known and loved users that we see here every day and have seen for years that we would never expect to actually be Jonny, Chris, Guy and Will.

 

SPLIT SCREEN:

 

ALL FOUR IN UNISON: Ahh, hello coldplaying!!

 

FADE OUT

 

 

 

And that, my friends, is how we got the best week ever starting on March 17. And it’s also why we haven’t gotten that second Prospekt entry yet: Prospekt’s too excited, and the boys are on a certain website too much to bother posting it.

Sounds totally epic already Cheslea! I'm going to read it now.

ahhhh great story chelsea! and i love how you workded all the coldplaying jokes in there!

 

 

 

i'll post mine some time this week

:dance: i can't wait to read more!

CHELSEA, THIS IS COMPLETELY BRILLIANT.

 

The whole thing is just brilliantly written. And its just hilariously funny. And the references to the lounge threads and users... its just pure genius.

This completely blows mine out the water Chelsea!

 

I'm going to have to go back and read it again to quote my favourite parts. But the whole this is outstanding.

And you're too kind with the "superawesome Zemy101" comment, haha :blush: And that reference to me in your story was just hilarious.

 

So yeah, basically, this is probably your best post ever.

Maybe I should start calling you Superawesome Chelsea from now on.

:blush: aww, thanks! i had a hell of a lot of fun writing it. i just hope it makes sense to people that don't haunt the lounge as we do.

 

and come on, that pringles thread is one of my favorites ever. along with mimixxx's "holy muffins" and coldpatrix's "big scoop" of course. you all get credit for the story!

 

:kiss:

 

EDIT: briggs too, of course. lots of those pringles quotes are from him!

My favourite bits, but man. There's so many. You've just captured their personalities so well Chelsea.

 

----------------

CHRIS: You better have kept the hip-hop vibe!

WILL: [whispering to Jonny] We didn’t. It was horrid. We’re not the ones that did the collaborations with bloody Kanye and Jay-Z. If Chris wants it, he can do it himself.

GUY: [obviously lying] Erm...yeah, of course we did, Chris.

-------------

(Love the hip hop reference, and Will whispering part, brilliant.)

-------------

 

CHRIS: Oooh! Look! More pictures of me in the “Post pictures of the gorgeous Chris” thread!

No one listens to him.

---------------

Classic.

-------------

 

JONNY: Heh, it looks like they think the title is going to be “Famous Old Painters.”

WILL: Ha! Look at that! I guess you’d guess that, looking at the style and all.

GUY: [mumbling] Well, it should be the title. “Viva La Vida or Death and All his Friends...” we’re going to be mocked for years for that one.

-------------

Love Guy's comment there, genius.

-------------

 

WILL: Holy muffins? Who says THAT?

CHRIS: [waving his hand and brushing it off] that ApproximatelyInfinite girl on Coldplaying uses it. But never mind that: what do we DO?!

GUY: We stop saying “holy muffins,” that’s what we do. You sound like a twat.

--------------

Oh Chelsea. Probably the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

--------------

 

JONNY: That Zemy one even edited the picture in photoshop to make it easier to read. That’s dedication.

--------------

Hahaha! This is just pure gold. All of it.

--------------

 

WILL: Aww, don’t you know that original flavor is the best? Whatever, any sort of Pringles are superior to all other non-stackable crisps. Though I wish you’d gotten the low-fat kind. These are going to make me excessively pudgy.

--------------

Best. References. Ever.

--------------

 

WILL: I eat nothing but Pringles! Well, not really. But still.

--------------

And again. This just never ceases to amaze me.

--------------

 

GUY: Pheh! Like Phil will EVER get those things up on time! We’ve got to badger him for days every time we need him to post something.

--------------

Haha, that part was great. Certainly explains why we have to wait for so long for a new entry.

--------------

 

And the end is so cool, Coldplay posing as regular members, haha. And Chris' panicking just cracked me up. "Chris is sitting underneath the desk in the fetal position." Hahaha! I can totally picture this scenario. And the whole part with Will and Jonny reading the threads was hilarious.

 

The Whole thing is pure gold Chelsea. Pure gold.

The part where Will said that Lays Stax are imposters, because thats what i said

Ooo, I was gonna write one but it'll be absolutely nothing compared to yours, Chelsea and Semy. I'll have a crack at it and it should be up before the end of this week

My favourite bits, but man. There's so many. You've just captured their personalities so well Chelsea.

 

----------------

CHRIS: You better have kept the hip-hop vibe!

WILL: [whispering to Jonny] We didn’t. It was horrid. We’re not the ones that did the collaborations with bloody Kanye and Jay-Z. If Chris wants it, he can do it himself.

GUY: [obviously lying] Erm...yeah, of course we did, Chris.

-------------

(Love the hip hop reference, and Will whispering part, brilliant.)

-------------

 

CHRIS: Oooh! Look! More pictures of me in the “Post pictures of the gorgeous Chris” thread!

No one listens to him.

---------------

Classic.

-------------

 

JONNY: Heh, it looks like they think the title is going to be “Famous Old Painters.”

WILL: Ha! Look at that! I guess you’d guess that, looking at the style and all.

GUY: [mumbling] Well, it should be the title. “Viva La Vida or Death and All his Friends...” we’re going to be mocked for years for that one.

-------------

Love Guy's comment there, genius.

-------------

 

WILL: Holy muffins? Who says THAT?

CHRIS: [waving his hand and brushing it off] that ApproximatelyInfinite girl on Coldplaying uses it. But never mind that: what do we DO?!

GUY: We stop saying “holy muffins,” that’s what we do. You sound like a twat.

--------------

Oh Chelsea. Probably the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

--------------

 

JONNY: That Zemy one even edited the picture in photoshop to make it easier to read. That’s dedication.

--------------

Hahaha! This is just pure gold. All of it.

--------------

 

WILL: Aww, don’t you know that original flavor is the best? Whatever, any sort of Pringles are superior to all other non-stackable crisps. Though I wish you’d gotten the low-fat kind. These are going to make me excessively pudgy.

--------------

Best. References. Ever.

--------------

 

WILL: I eat nothing but Pringles! Well, not really. But still.

--------------

And again. This just never ceases to amaze me.

--------------

 

GUY: Pheh! Like Phil will EVER get those things up on time! We’ve got to badger him for days every time we need him to post something.

--------------

Haha, that part was great. Certainly explains why we have to wait for so long for a new entry.

--------------

 

And the end is so cool, Coldplay posing as regular members, haha. And Chris' panicking just cracked me up. "Chris is sitting underneath the desk in the fetal position." Hahaha! I can totally picture this scenario. And the whole part with Will and Jonny reading the threads was hilarious.

 

The Whole thing is pure gold Chelsea. Pure gold.

 

hahahaa, thanks! :laugh4:

i thought you'd like the pringles references.

(BTW, your screenstory thing sparked a lot of it! like the hip-hop vibe thing and the line about chris checking this site to remind himself that half the owrld thinks he's smoking hot. your story DEFINITELY gets the credit for that!)

 

i almost put in which usernames the guys actually were, but i thought it would be a bit odd if i just randomly said certain people were actually the guys without their consent or whatever. just use your imaginations on that one ;)

 

i really have too much fun with this stuff. if someone gives me scenarios and i have the time, i can write more, but i'd REALLY love to read other peoples! they don't have to be that long...but it's too much fun to not just try. seriously.

Jonny: Look, Chris! That Zemy101 guy stole your idea!

Chris glances at the the screen and screams.

Chris: Ah! I already had it all arranged with Thom to use that artwork! He guessed the name too! I should have known that Fourty-Two was too obvious.

Jonny: You tried, Chris.

Chris: What am I going to name it now?

Jonny: Well, who gives you inspiration?

Chris: Well, I watched Frida last night with Gweneth. That was cool.

Jonny: Well, which of her works is your favorite.

Chris: I like that Viva la Vida one.

Guy: I object! Who wants to be mocked? Not me! Everyone is going to think you ripped it off of Ricky Martin!

Chris: (in a snobby voice) Well, what do you want as the title, Mr. I-Can't-Respect-Other-People's-Ideas Pants?

Guy: I vote for Death and All His Friends! It's the only song that's worth a f***, anyway.

Will: I think that they are both good.

Chris: Then what is your solution?

Will: Remember how Weird Fishes is multi-titled, Chris?

Chris: Yeah..

Will: Well, we could call it Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends.

Chris: Perfect!!!

Guy: (mumbling) What about the cover....

Chris: I'll ask Phil.

He dials the phone. Phil picks up.

Phil: What, Chris? Having an issue with the Moog again?

Chris: Book me an artist. We have just decided on the album title, and we need artwork.

Phil: What? I am Prospekt! This is my brainchild here! You can't just go around stealing...

Chris: We called it Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends.

Phil: What the f***? I hate it! We should call it I'm Going to Stick a Sludgehammer Up Chris'...

Chris: I can get Brian over there, you know. He really knows how to change the way you, umm, look at things...

Phil: Fine then. But I'm going to have one hell of a time figuring out who is going to do the artwork for a title like that.

Chris: Okay.

hangs up

Guy: Whatid he say?

Chris: He is really happy today. He said he'd try.

Four days later

Chris: Hold on, my phone is ringing!

Will: Come on! That was the best take of 42 yet!

Chris answers the phone.

Chris: Yup?

Phil: Meet me at the park. I think I have found your artist.

Chris hangs up

Chris: Come on, guys. I think Phil has found our artist.

20 minutes later, at Hyde Park

Phil: Hi guys. This is Aura Pereiz. She is the only one who would take the job.

He then quickly goes to his car, and leaves

Chris: Wait! Phil....

Aura: ¿Tienes algún otro además de las influencias de Frida en la materia y hacer lo que desea es realizar una fotografía o una pintura, porque ...

Jonny: Do you only speak Spanish?

Aura: No entiendo lo que está diciendo.

Chris: That's a yes

Guy: I know some Spanish, I'll tell her we want it dark, serious, and enticing.

He looks over at Aura, she is still talking.

Guy: Aura?

Aura: Sí?

Guy: Hemos decidido que debe ser ligero, divertido y entretenido.

Aura: ¡Por supuesto! Voy a tener derecho sobre ella.

She runs off

Chris: Want to go get a corn dog?

the rest of the band follows him

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

four hours later

Aura: Estoy de vuelta, con todo lo que usted pide.

The band looks at the painting of a clown tossing watermelons around

Chris: I think you made an error in your Spanish.

Chris calls up Phil

Phil: Yes?

Chris: You didn't tell us that she only speaks Spanish! Now we are stuck with a clown for our album art!

Phil: That's right! There where actually several photographers willing to take up the offer! But I knew you guys would mess up on your Spanish, so I decided to, umm, put in a little surprise in store as punishment for ruining my album title.

Chris: You are one naughty boy, Prospekt.

Phil: You are right! And while you guys were gone, I was able to Photoshop up a real cover with my album title!

Chris: What did you name our album, you fiend!

Phil: I named it a worthwhile name, something people won't laugh at . I named it...

 

To be continued...

 

Not as good as some of yours, but it will please album-title haters, though I am not one.

Hahahaha! NICE, yamfox!! :laugh4: :laugh4:

 

god i LOOOOOVE reading these!! so great. it's definitely an awesome passtime while wating for prospekt to write to us again.

Haha, I really liked it Yamfox! I liked this line:

 

" Guy: I vote for Death and All His Friends! It's the only song that's worth a f***, anyway."

 

Keep them coming guys, its definitely great for passing the time until we get more news!

My next installment is coming tomorrow, so keep on the lookout..

Here's the first half of mine, second half should be up soon

 

The year is 2008. The boys down at Coldplay HQ have been in exile for the last 2 years and the hiding has finally gotten to their heads. They all sit around in the studio, all unaware that a rebellion is taking action. Chris and Jon sit at a desk, staring blankly into space, lost in their own thoughts

 

Chris: Hey Jon?

Chris breaks the silence, startling Jon a little

 

Jon: Ya-huh

 

Chris: We should probably find Guy and Will, I haven’t seen them for a few days. Didn’t they say they were off to find Phil?

 

Jon: Where’s Phil?

 

Chris: Oh he ran off after the pressure of being Prospekt got to him, a damn good thing to, he was slow as with updating the site

 

Jon (whispers under breath): At least his handwriting is readable…

 

Chris: What?

 

Jon: Oh nothing…

Jon rolls his eyes away and the pair fall back into their mindless silence. Suddenly, Will and Guy burst in with a 6-pack of beer and Phil’s credit card.

 

Guy: We found him!!

 

Will: Well, I found him, Guy beat him up and stole his credit card, and then I had to follow Guy to the liqueur store because “He didn’t want any obsessed Coldplay fans mugging him”

Will used a mocking voice

 

Guy: There are obsessed fans ya know!! I mean, how could they resist?

 

Will: SO your just assuming there aren’t any obsessed Will fans!

 

Guy: Precisely, now fetch me my bottle opener

 

Will: Those are cans of beer, you don’t need a bottle opener!

 

Guy: I have very delicate fingers from playing years of bass guitar

Guy was now being very pompous and Will was starting to turn red with frustration, but he still fetched the bottle opener

 

Will: Well, here you go, your majesty!

Chris and Jon had been completely oblivious the scene played out before them because they were still lost in their thoughts, probably thoughts about the fact that 2 years of exile might (just might) be getting to their heads

 

Guy: Can you guys hear me??

 

Jon and Chris were alerted to action, but the sudden ‘awakening’ confused them a little.

Jon: Wa? Ha? Wa? hahaha? Wahahahahaha?

 

Chris: Wha-what were you talking about?

 

Jon: Wahahahahaha-

 

Chris: STOP IT JON!! What were you talking about?

 

Will: We were talking about the fact that we found Phil

 

Guy: You mean, that Ifound Phil

 

Will: Shut up Guy. Guy stole his credit card

 

Jon: WHAT?!?

 

Guy: You guys seriously don’t know how rich he is!! We withdrew like $500!!

 

Chris: Guy, that isn’t that much money.

 

Guy: You’d know, all the money bands make goes the lead singer and all the instrumentalists have to pick up all the crumbs.

 

Chris: Hey, 80% of all income isn’t everything ya know

 

Will: Right back to the story, we stole Phil’s credit card and used it to buy beer

Guy triumphantly holds up the 6-pack of beer, which is now a 5-pack because he has already drunk one.

 

Jon: You bought beer, with Phil’s credit card!!!

 

Chris: Score, mate!

Chris stands up to high five Guy, who then turns around to high five Will, but Will turns around in annoyance.

 

Guy: Aww, C’mon Will

 

Will: No, Guy! We shouldn’t celebrate bashing someone up and then taking their credit card!!

 

Guy: But it was Phil!! PHIL!!!

 

Chris: What’s so great about bashing Phil? If it had been Timberland or Jay-Z, now that’d have been cool.

 

Will: I thought you liked Jay-Z…

 

Chris: Hell Nizzle! That son of a bizzle can go to hizzle for being sizzle a pimp-izzle, ya hizzlin’ me, ho-izzle?

(Note, I tried my best to use ‘urban talk’ but I think I failed miserably)

Jon: WTF?

 

Will: I think all that hanging out with the ‘rapsters’ is getting to his head.

 

Guy: Maybe it’s the 2 years of exile.

 

Jon :WTF?

 

Will: I think Jon is the most affected.

Guy and Will both look at Jon, who is now dancing around the room singing Jonny Cash’s ‘Burning Ring of Fire’. Jon runs into a floor lamp and proceeds to giggle uncontrollably before diving under a desk and curling up into a ball, rocking back to forth and whispering the words “moose, moose, moose”

 

Guy: Yeah, I think it might (just might) be getting to him.

 

Chris: Hey guys, check this out.

The ‘Coldplay’ page from Coldplaying.com is visible. Chris is logged on as ‘moosemoose’

Chris: Look at the title of this thread; ‘Tracklist Revealed’

Something catches Will’s eye, it’s a thread titled ‘~*~The Official Will Champion Appreciation Thread~*~

 

Will: See, Guy! There is a thread for me on Coldplaying.com! There are obsessed fans! I don’t see your thread!

 

Guy: Scroll down Chris…

Chris scrolls down the page

 

Guy: SEE!! Look at the title of that thread!

The two other boys look at the title that Guy is so hyper-actively pointing at.Jon is still under the desk, rocking back and forth whispering ‘moose moose moose’

 

Chris: Post pictures of the sexy Mr. Berryman?

 

Guy: Exactly…OMFG?!?! WTF is THAT!!!!

Guy points at the screen. A thread titled ‘Angie challenged Buckland to a sex match’

 

Chris: OMFG!! Jon you HAVE to see this…JON!

Chris kicks Jon, who is still under to table, rocking back and forth etc etc…

 

Jon: Huh?! Wha! OW!

Jon quickly sits up, banging his head on the desk, which seems to snap him out of his paranoia.

Jon: What are we looking at?

Jon’s eye suddenly catches the title of the thread everybody was looking at. He collapses back into his paranoid state.

 

Will: So much for that.

:dance:

^Hahaha, thats brilliant!

 

Will: I thought you liked Jay-Z…

 

Chris: Hell Nizzle! That son of a bizzle can go to hizzle for being sizzle a pimp-izzle, ya hizzlin’ me, ho-izzle?

 

 

Haha, cracked me up :laugh1:

I thought the references to the threads were great too, haha :lol: