Anyone else want to do one? This thread's too hilarious to die again! :lol:

 

I know, I just discovered it today and spent an hour laughing through the ones on the previous pages. :laugh2:

 

I'm usually a good creative writer, but I don't know if I'll be able to pull this off. :P I'll make an attempt, though!

I'm usually a good creative writer, but I don't know if I'll be able to pull this off. :P I'll make an attempt, though!

 

Well, I'm usually a terrible writer, but apparently I did OK. :P You'll do fine, as long as it's wacky. :D

Yay ! finally someone did another one :dance:

 

(Shut up, you're not the narrator.)

 

------------

(Yeah, no kidding.)

 

Jonny: Who said that?

 

------------

Jonny: I guess that makes us even.

 

Guy: Not really, I've got hardly any lines in this script.

 

Jonny: What are you talking about?

 

Guy: ...I'm not sure.

 

Jonny: There's something really weird going on here...

 

Will and Chris: Definitely.

 

LOVE those narator parts ! :lol::lol:

It was really FUNNY !

LOVE those narator parts ! :lol::lol:

It was really FUNNY !

 

Self-referential jokes are the best. :P

 

And this post is completely not an excuse to bump the thread. :D

dont need any excuse to bump a GREAT thread :dance:

^ bump, then! ;)

Ahahah this thread is hilarious, you guys are just awesome, I would never be able to come up with such stories :laugh3::laugh3::laugh3:

Bump again. :dance:

oi ! I thought you'd come up with a story .. :P

My contrubution. :)

 

 

Sometime in 2008........

 

Chris, Jonny, Guy & Will are all sitting in an office on the top floor of Coldplay headquarters, all wearing nothing but Y-front's.

 

 

Guy: I can't believe the air conditioning is broke in here. I'm sweating.

 

Chris: I know! If only I'd got a haircut i wouldn't be so hot.

 

*short lived silence before....*

 

Jonny: Is it me, or do I look HOT! in my pants?

 

Will: It's you.

 

Chris: Shut the fuck up Will, He look's HOT!.... High Five J-man?

 

*They High-Five*

 

Guy: Boy's This is no time to joke, Phil has locked us in here from the other side of the room, we need to find a way out to tell the people of Coldplaying.com what the tracklisting is! Phil's threatening to NEVER tell them!

 

Chris: You're right... We need to get out of here, if we stay in here much longer in our pants, we might start doing things that only Lovers in Japan do to each other!

 

Will: That's a grim thought.

 

Jonny: I CALL CHRIS!

 

Will: Jonny stop being stupid!

 

Chris: Shut the fuck up Will.

 

*Will starts weeping*

 

Will: Why do you always say that to me? YOU'RE ALWAYS SAYING THAT!

 

*Chris roll's his eyes*

 

Guy: Okay now I need time to devise a plan.......

 

*a short while later, they're all sitting staring out of the window on the top floor while guy is writing on a sheet of paper in the corner*

 

Chris: (his voice now gravely) I need a Glass of Water

 

Jonny: Me too, I'm sick of looking out over al these Cemetries of London on this miserable Rainy Day.

 

*Will turns to guy, He is pacing the room up and down in deep though*

 

Guy: (talking to himself) Leftrightleftrightleft - we're just going round in circles!

 

Will: So what's the Chinese Sleep Chant Guy?

 

Guy: The what now?

 

Will: Oh, it means Plan. They say it in china.

 

Guy: oh, right.... well, okay. this is what we need to do... Chris, I want you to grab me the strawberry's from Phil's desk over there and grab the string from the box of "String" in the corner.

 

Chris: That was convenient.

 

*Guy turns to will and Jonny*

 

Guy: Will, Jonny, I want you two to throw the painting of Gwyneth out of the window and quick, before Chris see's.

 

Jonny: I don't think I can do that! It's a famous old painting by a duet of Famous Old Painter's!

 

Guy: Just do it, oh and try not to ruin the Poppy Field's on Violet Hill just outside the window!

 

Will: We'll do our best, wow, I feel like we're living life on the edge!

 

Guy: You know, In Equador they say "Life in Technicolour" as opposed to "life on the edge!

 

Will: *in a mocking voice* ooooh I'm guy, I know everything!

 

Guy: Shut the fuck up Will!

 

Will frowns and turns away to do his job which guy has set.

 

Guy: Chris? CHRIS!! WHERE ARE YOU?

 

Chris: (his voice muffled) OVER HERE!

 

Guy finds chris sitting under a desk, looking panicked.

 

Guy: What's wrong chris?

 

Chris: What if we fail man? what if.... what if we never get out of here? What if Phil keeps the new album all for himself forever? I'm freakin' out man, And my hair is falling out and everything.

 

Guy: YOUR FUCKING HAIR IS FINE!!, wouldn't kill you to get it cut either!

 

Chris: okay, okay, I'm calm, you're right, it's fine, I just... I'm scared that when I'm 42 I'm going to turn out like lieam gallagher, Fat, and balding.

 

Guy slaps chris

 

Guy: Snap out of it man! We're getting out of here, and NOW! - so throw all of the strawberry's out of the window for a soft landing and tie the rope to the curtian rail, we're swinging out of here. on our Strawberry Swing!

 

*From the other side of the room Jonny shouts*

 

Jonny: YES! It totally worked!

 

Will: We're SO getting out of here!

 

*Will jumps out of the window*

 

Guy: WILL!! *he shakes his head nonchalantly* What....an....idiot. oh well, it's only will. Jonny, Swing out and onto the roof of the building opposite.

 

*Jonny swings out from the window of coldplay headquarters and lands on the roof of the building on the other side of the street*

 

Jonny: JERRRRRRRRONIMO!

 

Guy: okay Chris, it's your turn, and try not to fall like will did, or you know who'll be after you?

 

*Chris gulps*

 

Chris: The Easter Bunny? Matthew Fox from Lost?

 

Guy: No chris..... Death. And ALL his friends too!

 

Chris: oh no, I better say shout something off the top of my head that sounds religious as I swing....

 

*Chris begins to swing...*

 

Chris: VIVA LA VIDA!!

 

*Chris lands, Guy shortly follows*

 

They look down onto the street.

 

Guy: I wonder where will landed, I hope he landed on the strawberry's I got you to throw out for him.

 

Chris: How did you know he would jump out?

 

Guy: It's Will..... He does stupid things. Remember the time he set fire to that "Reign of Love" CD because he thought it wasa rip off of "Ring of Fire"?

 

Chris: Good point.

 

Jonny: What Next Guy? How do we stop Phil.

 

Guy: Now we march, onwards to Coldplaying.com to tell them we have a nw star on the site....

 

Jonny: I like the sound of a march.

 

Chris: Yeah, Like Prospekt's March or something

 

*They climb down a ladder at the side of the building and walk off into the sunset in their underpants talking amongst themselves*

 

Chris: You know.... I think there is alot of to learn from this.

 

Guy: Like what?

 

Chris: Well.... I'm sure if we recap the events that just happened... We'd have some pretty cool song names for the new tracklisting!

 

Guy Roll's his eyes.

 

THE END.

 

 

:cool:

 

:stunned:

 

brillz

hahahahahahaha! I'd totally forgot about this thread and the story I wrote.

 

It's fucking TERRIBLE now that I look back! :laugh3:

All these stories are so awesome and creative!

 

I would try writing one except I suck at writing dialogue, just ask all my english teachers:lol:

hahahahahahaha! I'd totally forgot about this thread and the story I wrote.

 

It's fucking TERRIBLE now that I look back! :laugh3:

no it's not!! :P

Has anyone written anymore stories or got the inspiration?

 

i want this thread back pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaasssse

The original poster's was the greatest thing I've ever read

I've been thinking about bumping this for a while, but since someone's done that already...

 

Does anyone want to have a go at this? :wideeyed:

 

It was really fun back when we were waiting for the album to be released, and we got some great stories out of it. So maybe we can breathe some life back into it somehow? I'm not sure if i have an initial idea to start things off, maybe something to do with the new EP? Or a story explaining why certain songs never made it on the album? (these are crappy ideas, someone needs to help me out here :P)

 

But feel free to post any of your own ideas for stories - they don't necessarily have to be about the band in the studio either :wink: I know some of you must have some unwritten masterpieces floating around in your heads somewhere :P

My stories are always ending pervy, buuhuhu, I'm cursed! :bigcry:

"Chris: okay, okay, I'm calm, you're right, it's fine, I just... I'm scared that when I'm 42 I'm going to turn out like lieam gallagher, Fat, and balding."

hahahahaha

post of the year

Thats an awsome story

There should be a sequal to it!:D

___________________________

MAKE

TRADE

FAIR

Necromancy is bad, m'kay?

lol

Miss Lestrade you are one of the best story writers I've ever met... Your stories are sooo funny :D

 

____________________________________________

Please keep in mind that I wrote this story really late at night, so...it's a bit messed up. :lol:

---------

 

Chris: Why can’t I get into the Bakery, Will?

 

Will: Well, we locked you out.

 

Chris: That’s funny, Will, open up.

 

Will: I’m serious.

 

Chris: Um...why have you locked me out?

 

Will: Two words. Jay and Z.

 

Chris: Um...what?

 

Chris’s face is completely blank. He blinks.

 

Will: Jay-Z!

 

Chris: I don’t get it.

 

Will: ...You’re not coming in, man.

 

Chris clutches his head in distress.

 

Chris: WHY?

 

Will: You’re always giving us the chords and the lyrics, but we want to write our own stuff. Eno said we should.

 

Chris (his face going blank again): Who?

 

Will: Eno.

 

Chris: I have no idea who you’re talking about. BUT WHY CAN’T I COME IN?

 

Will: I told you!

 

Chris: You did?

 

Will: Just go do some radio sessions or something!

 

Chris: No, I don’t want to! If you don’t let me in, Will, I’ll kill myself!

 

Chris hugs his jacket to his chest, tears streaming down his face. Will stares at him, unconvinced. Chris’s lip begins to tremble.

 

Will: Yeah right. That’s what you said last time.

 

Chris (sobbing): No! No, I’ll really do it! Um...c-can I borrow a knife?

 

Will (horrified): NO!

 

Chris: But...please?

 

Will: NO.

 

Chris: ...Then...can I come in?

 

Will: Dammit, I said NO!

 

Chris: Fine! I’ll jump off Tower Bridge! I hate you!

 

Will: Fine.

 

Will slams the door shut in anger. Five entire seconds later, there is loud banging at the door. Will resists the urge to hit himself over the head with the umbrella stand.

 

Chris (through the door): WILL!

 

Will pulls the door open, and he finds that Chris is suddenly attached to his chest.

 

Will (trying to pry Chris’s arms off): What is it now?

 

Chris: I didn’t mean it, Will... I love you! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I’m so sorry...it’s all my fault!

 

Will: No...no...it’s not your fault!

 

Chris (going blank): What’s not my fault?

 

Will: But...you just said...

 

Will stares down at Chris in utter frustration.

 

Chris: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

 

Will: ...Are you high?

 

Chris (laughs hysterically): Will, don’t be a goofy moose.

 

Will: Never say ‘goofy moose’ again.

 

Chris: I knew it! YOU HATE ME!

 

Will: I don’t hate you, we just need to record without you for a while...

 

Chris: Record what?

 

Will: ...Chris, I think you need to lay off the martinis for a while.

 

Chris: That’s it! I’m going to jump!

 

Will: From where?

 

Chris: Um...your window?

 

Will: Just go do the radio sessions, mate.

 

Chris: Right-o!

 

Chris skips away as if nothing has happened.

^^oh my god!! i was cracking up through that whole thing!

 

i love how chris is a dumbass. :P

 

nicely done! :clap:!

Hahaha...thank you. :P

OMG! I have to write one...I'm so tempted...I'm going to write one...I know it snot gonna be that good though...

_______________________________________

It's finnaly the end of a very long Viva la Vida tour in a country of some sort... Chris has gone completley crazy this tour...him,Will,Jonny and Guy have fallen asleep...Jonny and Will are on the couch...Guy is on the floor...Chris is sitting on a chair with a clip board in his hand but is also asleep...

--------------------------------------------------------

 

Chris: *shaking Jonny's shoulder* I-i have to go to the bathroom...

 

Jonny: *just waking up* Chris! You're sleep walking...anyways, the bathroom is over there *points in the direction of the bathroom and drifts back to sleep*...

 

--------------------------------------------------------

Chris ignores Jonny and goes into the other side of the room and pulls down his pants...

--------------------------------------------------------

 

Jonny: *waking back up* Chris! T-thats not the bathroom! The bathroom is over there *points in the direction of the bathroom*.

 

--------------------------------------------------------

Chris walks towards the bathroom and then walks back to the chair and trips over Guy,gets back up,closes his eyes and goes back to sleep...

--------------------------------------------------------

 

Jonny: I thought you had to go to the bathroom!

 

Chris : I do...

-------------------------------------------------

The next night, they are all in the same position except there is a banana next to the couch and Guy is also on the couch now....Chris has still gone crazy from the tour...

-------------------------------------------------

 

Chris: *shaking Will's arm*: Will, I'm scared...

 

Will: *Just awakening* Of what?

 

Chris: You.

 

Will: Omg...Chris...your sleep walking...

 

Chris: I'm scared...

 

Will: Just go back to sleep and maybe you won't be scared... *fades back into sleep*

 

-------------------------------------------------

Chris grabs the banana next to the couch....

-------------------------------------------------

 

Chris: *pertends banana is a phone* Beep, beep, beep, beep.... Hey Mom, I'm scared...* Hangs up banana as Will watches*

 

Will: A-are you high?

 

Chris: W-what?...G' night Will

 

-----------------------------------------

Chris fades back to sleep as Will still wonders what has happened to Chris...

_________________________________________

Ok...its pretty boring....oh well I tried my best :bigcry:

lol it was fun to do!